Hai Mum

Update

2012-01-27T14:44:00.002Z

I have spoken to si Kamilnya about having a casual look at the old house but he said dia baruuuu saja lalu 2 weeks ago. And the house remained the same, still tak cantik.

Hmmm....... I just wish he would just tell me the truth i.e. Malaslah nak pegi !! Takyah lah nak buat citer baru lalu lah, hapa lah.

Anyway, we love Ginger Ales in this house. I drink it because I... ermm.... have trouble dispensing wind from my body... heheh... A can of ginger ale left opened until the gas dissipates is a very good way to help them out.

Anyway Kamil bought 5 cans the day before and by today there were none in the fridge.

Sapa minum ? he asked with a very garang voice.

He wish.

Because his daughter without fear answered,

"Saya minum.

Sedap.

When I take a sip, I feel so cosy.

So I drink the whole thing.

I cannot help myself."

The guy who still feels he is to be feared roared, "5 cans ! You drank all five !"

Abang didn't say anything. Adik again answered, "Next time buy 10 !"

I can't help but sniggered because Kamil just could not give a witty comeback.

Hehhehe...

Anyway... just now Kamil dengan confidentnya asked me, "Kat mana nak beli baja lalang ?"

Hmmm......... Patut le cannot win argument with his daughter.

Misteri rumah buruk

2012-01-26T06:37:00.003Z

Last night we passed by a fast food restaurant and saw a not-so-young lady sitting alone. She looked a bit despondent, a bit sad so probably that was why Kamil asked, “Apalah dia buat sorang-sorang tu…”.

For me, the sight of her reminded me of someone that used to intrigue me.

A long, long time ago in land, not that far away from where I work now but can take such a long time to get to due to hell on earth traffic called KL, I earned my keep at a place called ISB. It is situated in a huge house, so very near to Pavilion that I used to walk there in search of sustenance. Anyway, the office was flanked with lived-in houses left, right and at the front.

It is a nice area, where only the rich can afford to live but the house right in front of our office was rundown. It boasts the biggest land on that road but the land was unkempt, the house looked like it is going to crumble any minute… er… well, from what we can see lah. We can’t really see the whole house because it is obscured by this huge spanking tree buuutt…. what we can see (the right side of the house) definitely looked crumbly. Trust me.

I am a very curious person. Not nosy. I am just curious. Who wouldn’t if rumah cantik keliling but tetiba ada lak satu nak runtuh macam rumah nenek kebayan (btw my Tok Cik mengaku dia nenek kebayan… So….. ) ? I hardly ever see cars go in and out and the only vehicle I can see from my point of view is a dilapidated small truck.

I had always thought that since the house could have fetched at least RM20 million, considering where it is, so why can’t the occupants just buy a nicer house somewhere cheaper and a darn car ? And maybe a broom to sweep the lawn of the dried leaves ? So of course that question begets another question which is, who lives there ? Someone who used to be rich ? Why are they still staying there ? Why ? Why ? Why ?

Nak dijadikan cerita one day as I was about to get into Kamil’s car for lunch, I saw a Chinese lady walking from the house towards the gate. Oohh… finally.. proof of life ! From far she looked very nice and tall and slim, with leggings and huge celeb sunnies, holding a brolly.

I asked Kamil to wait as I seriously want to get a good look at her but the full frontal view was disappointing. Ghastly even… Ish.,.. tak baiknya. My apologies if some of you are offended but that was what I truly felt when I saw her. The lady sported a flower tucked behind her ear and she was smiling shyly but the ghastly bit was the shocking pink lipstick and rouge which looked like it was applied roughly, in the dark.. while riding a roller-coaster. She walked past by us and from behind we could see the sway of her walk which was really cute and girly. Memang tak matching.

Kamil and I were rather disturbed what with the house and then her looking like that and we talked the whole way to a shopping complex. We went to the food court and lo and behold there she was. She was sitting alone, sipping drinks and still with the shy smile on her face.

We dragged our meal because she looked like she was waiting for someone and we just wanted to see who it was (okay, okay, maybe this part is more nosy than curious) but he or she didn’t materialize. So we left.

I didn’t see her again until one day I walked to the shopping complex on my own and while I ate, she sat near my table. No flower, but celeb sunnies remained there and the shy smile still plastered on her face. Again she was alone and I waited almost 1 and a half hours just to see if she was really meeting someone.

No. I didn’t see anyone.

After that I see her sometimes, at the food court sipping a drink. Always. Once I saw her returned to the house, on foot again, faithful brolly never leaving her ..err…. head. It was about 3pm so no wonder she never left before me.

I tried to ask about her but nobody seems to know. Well… memandangkan we don’t mix with the neighbours, I could only ask my fellow office mates and unless they have lived there for some time, of course they wouldn’t know about her. I remember showing her to my good friend Sue once but Sue yang merangkap secretary Chairman, yakni owner of the premise pun tak tahu.

But … I am sooo disturbed with the image of her day in and day out alone, waiting there at the food court, never eating from 1 to 3, living in a house of that condition. I just wonder what is her life about, who lives with her and who was she waiting for at the foodcourt ? What is her story ?

And what is the deal with the sunnies ?

And… if she was not working, and nobody seemed to leave the house for work, what did she do for food ?

Why is she always alone ? Why at the food court everyday ?

I never saw her again after I left the company. Admittedly I only ever went to the shopping complex… err…. never… since I left.. Hhehehe….

Hmm….. since my err... curiosity (I don't think intriguity is a word)is refreshed anew, rasa macam nak ajak Kamil pegi aje Sabtu ni… Swing by the old office and see if the house is still there…..

Hmmm……..

Should I ?

Okay, if we really go I am still being curious yeah, not nosy. Definitely not.

Berita terkini hari ini

2012-01-24T14:09:00.005Z

I know, I know... Two updates in a day ! Shocker ! But I really, really have to write about this.

You guys just wouldn't believe what happened just now.

We went to Seksyen 2 to get our vaccination for Mecca trip. Nothing unusual there. I went in first then Kamil and while Kamil was in, the staffs there said all of us could go in. So I ushered my children in, in the middle of Kamil getting his shot and that is when the unusual happened. My kids went berserk.

Okay berserk is a bit too much, they went nuts.

The gasps and the horrified looks and the realisation of why we were there sort of fleeted before me before the tears started coming. I thought I mentioned many, many times we have to get jabs before we go. Maybe they don't understand what it means. Jabs that is. But knowing my children, they always ask if they don't understand what I say. Always.

So to me I have done my part. I have made the proper announcement and kalau dia orang tak paham... well.... tough. Fuuhh... garang. Heheheh.... No lah. Seriously, I know I have told them.

Anyway both of them started crying. Yang besaq, gemuk gedempoi siap kena tarik pi duduk sebelah the good doctor. He was unconsolable so much so Kamil had to put him on his lap to appease him somehow.

Doctor angkat tangan saja he started wailing and dok suruh doctor tu tunggu sat. Lama-lama aku kata. "I think my penampaq is going to hurt much more than the injection. You want to try for comparison ?" barulah dia sengap.

Yang the little clown girl, the one with so much bravado in her pun sama saja, dua kali lima. Meronta-ronta siap. Drama sungguh !

Aku rasa macam mimpi saja nengok budak-budak tu macam tu. They even went as far as saying that they wouldn't mind not going.

Hampeh betui.

Lake Garden

2012-01-24T10:15:00.006Z

Happy Chinese New Year !!!!!

I don't celebrate sebab nobody invited my to their house buuuutt... I am happy with 2 extra weekends though.

We didn't go anywhere much due to the timbunan of work that I have to clear before February. I am going to Mecca next month and Bangkok the week before Mecca so you can imagine how devastatingly busy I am.

Tu dia, na ? Hehhehe....

We did go to Lake Garden, though. Kamil is bored of walking around our own lake agaknya. Anyway yesterday morning off we went and we arrived in mere 10 minutes. Sooo luxurious to be able to go to KL without being stuck somewhere for a length of time.

Anyway I haven't been in a looong time and I must say it is lovely. It is well kept and there are sooo many things to see. The animals that we can gawk and went Awww... at.. The avian ones, the deers and mousedeer and the kambing... Oh so cute kambings ! And we learned the names of a few familiar trees and we saw Waterlilies ! So pretty.

Plus it is connected to the museum and the Planetarium and the Bird Park and the Butterfly Park, you cannot get bored. There are just sooo many things to do.

That was why we went again this morning.

We found new routes, and quaint park themes and.. well.... I am truly sorry it took me such a long time to return.

When we were small, it had always been Bapak's favourite destination. The last time I went was during Mother's Day where we had a picnic and my siblings surprised mummy and I with a cake. Abang was about 2 at that time.

It sure does bring a lot of memories and if you know me, some old ones would come knocking soon.

Anyway, I do wish they could make our own lake at least half as interesting as Lake Garden. You know, return the ducks, clean it up (needs major work, I know...)and maybe a small petting zoo ?

Ta-ra for now.

PS : Pictures later yeah ? As usual Kamil simpan segala gadget2 kat office.

How your father met me

2012-01-16T10:21:00.008Z

If I remember my childhood well, it looked like we were forever sitting with Bapak, listening to his stories. Either all of us were on the bed with him (I could never say in bed as it made me feel suffocated sangat… In tang mana ? Dalam tilam ? I don’t get it….), or he is on a chair and all of us scattered on the floor, heads up looking at him or all of us on the sejadahs with him yapping (kelentonging) away.

Sometimes he would voluntarily tell us a story. And some of the times, it would be us who generate the stories with our questions. Anyway, one of our most FAQs was how did he meet our mom ?

Ceritanya sangat pelbagai, which is maybe why we always ask. Whatever it is, it always involve him walking somewhere (Lake Garden, hutan, kampong etc depending on his mood) and a lady in distress shouting for help (mak aku le tuh) due to whatever calamity she was facing that day (buaya, perompak, huge spanking ulau… my mother is sooo prone to danger) and he ended up being the hero who saved her and later fell in love and the rest, as they always say, is history.

Bosan.

I don't remember if my own kids ever asked. And if they did, what was my version of the story. Whatever it is, they asked last week after months and months of watching How I Met Your Mother DVDs.

So….. you can guess how my story went.

I was a prefect in my school and one day whilst I was doing my rounds, I heard a call of distress coming from near the school pond. I ran there as fast I could and the sight that greeted me was troubling indeed. The resident alligator/crocodile of the pond had cornered a boy and was snapping his huge jaws away. Being a prefect and a good Samaritan/heroine that I am, I grabbed a cangkul which just happened to lie about nearby and with precision that defies logic, cangkul-ed the eyes of the said crocodile/alligator (whichever is the biggest lah).

I then jumped over the writhing in agony alligator (I just googled. Gators are bigger) and swept the cowering boy off his feet and took him to safety. He of course fell in love with me and me being a nice person agreed to be his girlfriend even though he showed signs of thinning hair.

Kamil’s face could not be described as his flared nostrils, crinkled forehead and screwed eyes gave me mixed signals. My children liked it though because they giggled the night away.

Not interesting entry...

2012-01-14T01:13:00.005Z

Say that I am a baker. And I am like one of many, many bakers in the company that employs me, spread between a few divisions, i.e. pudding div, french pastry div, cake div and err.... kuih-kuih melayu div. Each div has its own Head Baker who reports to the Ultimate Baker.

And yesterday was the perjumpaan of all these bakers, across all these various divisions. And boy a lot of thing happened during this meeting, so much so that I pounced on Kamil as soon as I saw him because all the news were already at my throat ready to spew at a very, very fast rate.

Anyway, just to warn you, whatever I wrote down below is not interesting. Just me merakamkan my day as usual...

The chronology of event goes as follows;

Morning coffee : Ultimate Baker came to sit with SS (from Pudding Division) and me at our table. We swallowed our shock quickly, had a brief chat with him before leaving him off to his presentation notes. I wished him luck and for him to have fun and he went, “Break a leg ?”, face full of mischief. I looked at him for awhile with a straight face and said, “Yeah, break a leg…” followed by a megawatt grin and left him in a cloud of waves. I can safely say that I was lucky I remembered to grin.

I am a bit funny when I am around him. I dunno why. With other people, I would have laughed merrily when he said that but with this guy, he somehow brought out the solemn-ness in me.

I was invited for tea with him about 2 months ago and aku being aku instead of saying, “Okay, I am leaving now…” or “So… I am going back now ..” or whatever cool and collected people are wont to do, I said, “J.. I take my leave… Thank you..” as I shook his hand.

He smiled and went, “Ooo…. I take my leave….” comically. I just looked at him, smiled again and left. It is sooo weird. Usually I would have laughed and crack some jokes. But I didn’t. And he is a nice man. He is funny and always joking around so I do not know why I am like that with him. He must think me rude or a one humourless baker.

Sigh…….

Lunch time : Since this is the perjumpaan besar baker-baker company, two of my staffs from PG pun turun sekali. And because it is December and our mid-year review is due, I arranged for them to have ‘talks’ with me and our boss. Elok aku nak panggil K, the no.2 guy for Kuih Melayu Division, Haji called me and said, “Nak pegi dah ke ? I nak introduce you to my team….” This guy is seriously a nice guy but I have been introduced to his team twice already. But just to humour him, I said okay.
He went to look for them while I proceed to my boss and K. Sembang-sembang sekejap and tetiba Haji joined us. I have forgotten why the conversation turned like this as all I can remember is my boss said to Haji, “All my staffs are experienced, so boleh saja kalau Haji nak any of my team….”

Haji grinned widely but before he could say anything, my boss said, “Tapi Cik Puan Kamil tak boleh..” Aku terkejut and aku tengok K pun terkejut. Haji then went to explain that he was the one who wanted to hire me but Mr. L who used to be our Head Baker chop aku first before dia sempat bukak mulut.

My boss geleng-geleng kepala and then mimed a tarik tali at me and….

Tak payah lah aku cerita kan semuanya but man it was awkward.

During our 5 minute break, I was talking to fellow bakers and suddenly he called my name. He has assembled his team and all were grinning at me. He left us to it with “Tak kenal maka tak cinta….”.

A friend came up to me and said, “So… I saw that you were introduced to your new team…..”

Groan.

Seriously, I like Haji. And I like his team. And most importantly I like their err…. subject matter. Kuih Melayu is my favourite. But… seriously, he has to tell me straight. I cannot act with hints.

So last night, I couldn't sleep. Worrying that Ultimate Baker thinks I am a humourless ninny and contemplating why I want Haji to really ask me so much. No more hints..

Hmm...

Balanced reporting

2012-01-12T11:12:00.004Z

So… a reader complained that I do not know how to take care of my husband.

Hmm…. Saying it in English has no impact what-so-ever.

Cakap Melayunya ialah aku tak pandai jaga laki. Haaa………. Baru terasa impaknya.

Zrrruppp ! naik ke dada and translated to my face by considerably pinkening it.

The reason is katanya aku suka nar ngumpat laki aku. That I failed to recognize the nice things he did for me and I chose to concentrate on the ‘trivial’ mistakes he made.

Hmmm..

First question that popped to mind, si Kamil ke tulih ni ?

Naaah… he doesn’t read my blog. I think he doesn’t even remember that I have one. Oppps ! Does that statement constitute as mengumpat laki aku ?

Second thing that came to mind is that how does this person know that he did nice things for me ? He/She mentioned a few things that were true. So… by my power of deduction, I can either say that this person

a) is a friend or an acquaintance
b) got to know about it by reading from my blog

or….

c) Is Kamil. Again… naaahhh……

If you gleaned the information from my blog, dear sir/madam it means that I do say nice things about him. If not how else would you know about the car that he bought me and how much he loves my family ? I cannot only write about his nice stuffs and keep shtoom about his not-so nice stuffs. Ini balanced reporting namanya. I have to be fair.

Plus, if I memuji dia menggunung kang, ada lak yang muntah. Korang jugak tak larat nak baca. Kang ada lak yang comment macam aku sorang aje ada laki baik. Kang ada lak yang start to get defensive and say, “Eleh, laki aku pun macam tu gak… Ingat laki ko sorang aje ke ?”

I know that will be the public outcry because people have grumbled about updates on FB yang ala-ala promote laki sendiri. A fellow blogger once wrote about a friend yang forever complimenting her husband with updates like merdunya suara laki dia bila baca quran etc. Hehhehe….. Teringat pun boleh tergelak. Aku rasa kelakar sangat, selepas feeling nak muntah subsided of course.

And she is not alone. My own FB pun is inundated with updates of kegagahan suami, ke-terer-an suami, betapa indahnya perkahwinan mereka tak seperti orang lain yang huru-hara and the likes. Mula-mula aku okay aje, but lelama when comments like that came from the same person aje, aku pun naik bosan. Macam adik aku kata, dia ni nak bagi orang jealous ke atau nak encourage orang ambik laki dia ?

Hehhehe….

To be honest, I too can write something like, “Terangnya kepala si Kamil seperti Nur yang turun dari syurga ditemani bintang kejora beranak 8”. Boleh…. Tak jadi masalah. Tapi kang korang nak lagi ke kawan ngan aku kalau everytime you guys see me you can’t help but shudder or vomit blood ? Tak pun kalau korang bila nampak Kamil aje dah tak nengok muka dia tapi sibuk nengok sumber Nur itu ?

And tomorrow pulak I write, “Bahagianya makan bersuap ngan Kamil….” Pastu esok-esoknya “Besarnya berlian Kamil beli untuk isteri tersayang (iaitu aku le tuh)”. Korang tak bosan ke ? Tak ? Bosan kan…?

So to me, balanced reporting is best. Dia buat baik aku tulih, and dia buat tak berapa baik pun aku tulih. Tapi semuanya yang I have vetted and decided is okay for public consumption. I definitely did not write about all.

Besides, I like to be honest. And I remember mentioning before that I treat this as my memory keeper. Seriously when we fight, I sometime trawl my blog to get evidence.

Heheh.

Me, control freak ? Really ?

2012-01-08T10:58:00.004Z

You wouldn't believe what happened to me today. We stopped for gas in PJ, on our way to a very late lunch. Before we could leave, 3 ladies approached us asking for directions to UM.

We explained and explained but they didn't seem to grasp the general whereabouts. Asia Jaya tak tau, Bangsar pun tak tau. Upon questioning we found out that they were from Johor. So, mau tak mau Kamil offered to show them the way.

Kamil stopped at a bus stop in front of UH and got out of the car. I saw him talking to them and then the ladies came to our car and salam-ed my hand. As soon as they left Kamil exclaimed, "You salah dengar. Dia orang bukan nak pegi UM. Nak pegi to a place near UM !"

Can you guys believe it ?

How can he blamed me, saying that I misheard them when they talked to us both at the same time ? I looked at him with this extremely shocked face and he acted like it was nothing. Like he and I actually lived in different dimensions and when those ladies spoke to us, he was really in an alternate universe and was not actually there, sitting beside me in the damn car.

Korang percaya tak laki aku ?

Aku of course naik angin and barulah dia gelak and said, "Habis tu I nak salah kan siapa lagi ?"

Banyak lah muka kau. Why do you need to put blame on situation like this ? There is nothing to blame anything of and it was not a big deal. They failed to mention it, so what ? There was no fight, no bloodshed, no difficulty pun.

I am still reeeling from this episode, seriously. Berapa banyak pergaduhan yang aku kalah sebab benda merepek macam ni lah. Nevermind, I can definitely use this episode in future fights. Heheh.

Anyway, we woke up early this morning. Hantar MJ to the airport to catch his flight to New Zealand. He is taking the year off, to travel and work and hopefully when he comes back, he is refreshed and ready to continue his studies.

Budak-budak sekarang ni seriously mengada.

I am definitely against the idea. I am naturally worried for his safety and the prospect of him actually returning home after 6 months. But then, I have to learn to let go. I learnt from this episode that I am a control freak. I have the need to control the movements of people around me as I think I know best.

Sigh.

Typical huh.

Because we woke up at 5 am and only returned home about 10, Kamil and I fell asleep by 1 pm after trips to the market, and shops and what-nots.

Yawn.

Still sleepy. Night ....

Masalah bila umur dah lanjut

2012-01-06T06:01:00.004Z

Yesterday I had training.

Apparently my boss thought that I needed the be trained to present. It is apparent that he did not read my CV. Not that I think it is his fault that he didn't read it but.. if he had read them he would know that I gave presentations all the time.

During my first job, I had to conduct product presentations to all the major oil and gas companies, apart from managing and completing projects. Plus, he was the one who said that he likes the way I handle my meetings with clients because at the end of it, I always remained in good terms with them. During all our meetings, we have to present to our clients. Always.

So...Aku tak paham. But... it is ok. Pegi ajelah.

Of course all of us had to present. Very much expected. We were given each a topic to talk about and the trainer and the participants will give their comments.

I was stopped halfway during my presentation because I lacked eye contact with my audience. In fact my eyes went around the room. Why ?

Err... because I was looking for inspiration is why. I had to stand there and talk with minimal preparation so mestilah kepala dok berpusing apo ko bondo eh nak cakap ni ? And I can't help if my eyes whirred like my brain when I think.

Heheh.

All in all, the participants liked it. They didn't comment much apart from how they enjoyed my presentation. Cuma... well... the trainer said I present like a story-teller.

Eh ?

Hmmm........ Is that good or bad ?

Anyway, dah alang-alang kat KL tu, Kamil and I went out on a date. Went to KLCC where I forced Kamil to gaze at charm bracelets. Well I did all the gazing while Kamil nengok guna sebelah mata aje...

I love charm bracelets. Dari aku kecik aku naaaakkkk sangat satu. Jealousy is when I saw most of my friends wear one. I remember my friend Z with an Eiffel Tower and a oh-so-cute wrapped present charms dangling from her wrist.

Dah besar nak beli duit tarak.

And dah makin lama rasa macam too old for one.

So semalam ku gagahkan jugak. And Kamil.

Verdict, nak taruh banyak-banyak memang tak cun. One charm is enough.

But... I think I looked too old for one.

Nampak macam bodoh sangat.

Kamil seperti biasa no comment.

Tapi so cute. Cuma tak cute on my wrist.

But I want it. Badly.

Sigh.

Busy nya...

2011-12-31T00:44:00.003Z

I fully expected to wake up with severe sakit pinggang.. Nasib baik tak ada. I woke up with wonderful memories of last night and satisfaction that I had a damn good time.

Belly dancing I semalam ngan kengkawan ketat I. Best !

Pictures ada...but hehhehe.... tarak berani letak....

Anyway lepas kami bergelek sakan semalam, makan... as usual. My mom made mee bandung which my friends proclaimed as delicious. There was also orange cheesecake and brownies... well... sebenarnya bukan brownies but cake that was disguised as brownies...

Lepas tu lepak sambil baring-baring and sembang and gossip....

Kelmarinnya J datang and stayed until 9pm bergossip dengan Kamil. Si Kamil kalau bergossip....orang lain tak ada peluang nak bercakap , hokey.

Last night she went off at midnight. Malu katanya, asyik datang rumah I melepak lama-lama...

Hehehhe... Takde salah nya. We are the best of friends and I love her to bits, so she can tidur rumah aku pun takpa.....

Nice....

Next session at Lina's place. Rumah cikgu... Hehhehe.....

Okay, nak siap. Nak pegi housewarming pulak. Laki aku jeling aje...

Perihal gajah dalam bilik....

2011-12-28T08:29:00.003Z

My husband became sick on Tuesday.

That night my mom hantar rice congee. Sedap.

The next day she sent minestrone soup. Amazing...

Thursday she sent lauk... I forgot what it was.

While he was in the hospital she asked every single day if he wants something for her to cook. Tak payah lah Mom... Makanan spital ada...

Yeah... but tak sedap, she said.

Hehehhe........

Tuesday again and my mom made kari ikan... Sian Kamil... He was sleeping and anak-anak kami balun semuanya.... Luckily he still takde appetite..

Wednesday Mom sent pizza to her son-in-law. Malam she made kari ayam.

Hari ni ? Hehehe..... I am waiting....

Bestnya...

But I am sure, reading this mesti korang tertanya-tanya kan ? I mean, there is a huge elephant in this story that I dare not address.

Sigh....

Ada ikan pun payah....

2011-12-26T06:29:00.004Z

We are home. I finally slept on my huge and comfy bed, in a room that has no icicles formed anywhere. Home is indeed sweet, kan ? It is just at the right temperature I want it to be...

Semalam while Kamil was still at the hospital Mom called to say that she has a surprise. Aku pun tunggulah and tetiba muncul my nieces and my mom following from behind, hugging a super huge fish balloon.

Eh ?

Rupa-rupanya it is an air swimming fish, called so because it could fly. We can control its movement by a remote control that moves the tail left and right. It was super cute, with the tail swinging about around the house. It is filled with helium so it is always up in the air therefore sometimes while we were watching the telly, it will bob slowly towards us like a real pet.

Therefore Abang totally loved it.

U-hm... loved.

Early this morning I was rudely woken up by the most pitious cry I have ever heard. I jumped from the bed, went around the room looking for my glasses and raced downstairs while yelling his name.

I found my 11 year old sobbing desolately in the living room, sitting atop my new coffe table while his new giant pet fish bobbing above him. "He is a mess ! All his parts are coming apart !"

I looked at it again and saw the balancer was undone, a fin kelepet ke tepi and the propeller kat belakang was on Abang's lap. Hmmm.....

I looked at my son again and his sobs were heart wrenching. Tears were streaming down his face and he sported a pained look. His huge eyes were trained at me, hoping that I could do something.

I was stumped of what to do. Really aku masih mamai from sleep and I can't think straight. He then opened the manual and read while sobbing, trying to figure out how to re-attach the propeller. I sighed and said, "Come to me baby, don't be sad. I'll buy you a new one...."

Big mistake because he screwed his eyes shut and said, "Tapi kesian lah this little guy... I just cannot replace him ... "

Sigh......

Okay, okay........

Sejak malam Khamis aku di sini

2011-12-24T07:05:00.003Z

Al kisah...

Tuesday morning around 10 Kamil called from the office toilet. Stomach pain he said, been purging since he got there and feeling nauseous.

Noon, he called again to say things are progressively getting worse and he felt dizzy.

Afternoon I urged him to go see a doctor.

I arrived home around 6 pm to see a very ashen faced husband. From the time I set foot in the house until about 10 pm, he vomitted like 10 times, couldn't keep anything down. Doctor at the local hospital didn't give him anything for his fever at all.

SO around midnight I took him to SJMC.. or SDMC now. Doctor wanted to hook him up on a saline drip but he refused.

Wednesay and Thursday he got worse. Therefore Thursday night I took him to SDMC again with a night bag on standby in the car. As expected he was admitted.

And so I have been here since Thursday night. It is Saturday and we were hoping that he would be discharged today. No go. He suddenly developed breathing difficulties during the night and has been hooked on nebulizer.

Sigh........

Our children are upset. They have started to get very clingy, calling every hour or so.

I am not upset but the room is really cold. I am left shivering when the sun ain't shining anymore.

Kamil is upset though. He is a terrible patient. No patience what-so-ever !

Quick updates

2011-12-19T06:37:00.000Z

So…

Last night I had a girls’ night out. We didn’t go far. Dinner at Tupai2 section 13 aje. We went quite early and came home very,very late. Husbands duly notified of course.

We are lucky, all 5 of us as husbands already expected that we are coming home late. Bukannya buat selalu pun. Hehhe…. So when I hantar Amelia and Min home, takde lak drama laki tak nak bukak pintu… HEhhehe…. Jubei’s husband picked her up at my house and Cho… her daughter, mom and siblings waited up for her. Cho is based in Labuan now and she came back for work… So probably her husband waited in Labuan for her call to say that she is already home safe.

Back at work. Problems and worry came back too. Whether we can make the target. Deliver all that is expected. Worrisome, that.

Abang had his snip-snip 2 weeks ago. Sian anak mak. I didn’t do a thing. I didn’t even take a look. Well, I saw… But it was all accidental. And I didn’t sleep a wink that night because it looked monstrous. I was shocked beyond belief at the sight of it. I was convinced it didn’t go well at all, the healing and the actual snip-snip. I thought I saw pus, is why. So I woke up at the wrong side of the bed the next morning, berated Kamil for not taking a closer and proper look at my son’s wee wee and begged my mom to do something.

Anyway, apart from that episode, I let Kamil handled it. It is in his familiar territory anyway. He tried to be very gallant about it, you know being in charge. Tried is the operative word because it didn’t last long. He snapped when I refused to have a look. But I reasoned that I wouldn’t know what to look for anyway. And I promised him when Adik gave birth I will be there. This is really a man’s thing. I have no business poking my nose in this.

He is okay now. And looked so grown for some reason. Anak mak dah besar… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!

Had a karaoke session with my siblings during the weekend. Biasalah, kena melayan MI. It is our duty to actually entertain him. I have no idea who died and made us his court jester. Adik wouldn’t let go of the mike. She sang every song there is to be sung. Yang mana dia tak tahu pun she duly read the lyrics. Heheheh…

Abang is a serious singer. He didn’t dance or even tap his feet. He stood up straight and sang, face all solemn. Pelik.

Hehhehe…

Saja nak cerita. One day, after like one whole day of bersabar with Adik’s mucking and clowning about, I said in exasperation, “Kenapalah I am given a clown instead of a princess ?” She stopped being noisy and said, “Allah is punishing you, of course. There must be something that you did !”

*Groan*

Sigh

2011-12-08T05:33:00.003Z

Hey fellas...

It is not that I didn't want to write... or I don't have anything to write about.

I have plenty to write about, actually.

Recent holiday we took,
Abang sunat (Owww !),
Work,
Preparation for future trip (this is the best part)

But work happened. I just did not have any time at all to squeeze in blogging.

Nada.

I have some time now... but I can only manage bits and pieces of news only. I really have to return to my work.

Kamil said work will never end. True, but if I stop then it will pile up and then it will really never end.

Sigh..... Changes again, as far as work is concern.

Good changes. But then added responsibility for me and having to learn new tricks. I have to fill in a shoe, you see. A big shoe at that. So am struggling. Although I am excited. But I am struggling.

I will get better. I know I will. Soon, I hope.

In the meantime, back to work, folks.

See you when I see you.

Penat weii...............

2011-11-12T14:52:00.006Z

Phew.... !

I am so knackered and sleepy. But can't go to sleep yet as I haven't finished packing and seriously, there is no place for me to sleep in my own bed since Abang and Adik dah bergelimpangan on top of it awal-awal.

Tomorrow, off to Bakun...

Sigh.....

Macam penat aje dengar kan ? 2 hour flight followed by 3 hour car ride... Extremely bumpy car ride I must add.

Yawn... I really should sleep. We had a very busy day today.

At 7 we were already in the car to hantar Adik to school. Rombongan sekolah hari ni.. to TUDM airbase, Planetarium then Lake Garden, specifically Taman Rusa. Hujan dah turun rintik-rintik when Kamil opened the gate, via the remote control. Tapi tak mau bukak.

Hmm..........

Pi check rupa-rupanya the washer was a bit loose and sort of obstructed its movement. Damn ! Kamil had to dismantle it and while dok busy godek-godek, the rintik-rintik turned to extremely fat droplets at a much, much faster speed and in droves.

Must it rain now ? Heavily ? Now ?

I ran to get brollies and when I got to him, he was already soaking wet. Alhamdullilah we managed to opened the gate by 7.15 and rushed to send Adik. Dalam kete sebab baju basah Kamil tak nak pakai seat belt as tak mo sandaq to the seat.. so the car went Beep ! Beep ! Beep ! the whole way. Aku dengan kesejukan and dripping wet really could not take the damn noise. I could already feel the dreaded migraine dropping by and arriving soon. Waaarrgghhh !

We singgah Immigration to buat my passport. Going on a holiday next week and I need to re-new it. Punyalah ramai orang and it was not even 8 yet. Seperti biasa, the passport re-newing kiosk rosak. Benci tau !!!!

Because Kamil had to switch cars with his staff at the office by 8.30 we really can't wait and off we went to another Immigration office to try our luck. Lagi haru. Punya ramai orang berhimpit macam tin sardin. I did not even bother to check if the kiosk is working there.

What to do... Have to wait until I return from Bakun then.

Waited for Kamil sekejap at his office then Kamil bawak Abang and I makan nasi lemak kat Kampung Baru. Sedap jugak. Not the best ever but tasty lah... Abang asked for sambal sikit which shocked Kamil. He didn't realise anak dia dah boleh makan sambal... Unlike him yang masih take his nasi lemak without. HHehhehehe............. Tak tahan pedas.....

Anyway I had to swallow a couple of paracetamol with my breakfast sebab by then mata aku dah kecik tahan sakit.

Rushed to hantar Abang to his piano class pulak. Then went to his parents' house to take our car and change the plate number. FIL bought a new car and wanted our plate number, so now our old car has a very new number. And looks weird. Percayalah, I would not be able to recognise that car even if it talked to me. Btw our car was at FIL's house because he borrowed it while waiting for his new car to arrive.

Fetched Abang from his class. While we were in a toy shop to look for a birthday present, FIL called and ajak lunch at a Chinese Muslim restaurant.

Errkkk ! Just had nasi like an hour ago tapi pegilah jugak.

So... fetched his parents and ate again. To be polite I ate the lauks only sebab taking nasi again would just be overkill. Heheh...

Singgah beli lunch for Bibik first before balik.

Then by 3 keluar pulak for Abang's next class. While he was there we went to the birthday party. Tension lah jugak sebab pegi birthday party budak 5 tahun tak bawak anak. But.... what to do.. We still have to honour our friend's invitation so pegi lah jugak.

It turned out to be a HUGE do ! I really expected to just duduk makan-makan while we politely sing the birthday song and watch the birthday girl bukak hadiah. But .. we were greeted with khemah, clowns, full catering with a variety of food. Ada deejay lagi...

Duduk sat (had cupcakes, karipap and coq badak which I shared with Kamil and a bit of pengat pisang) then ambik Abang and A who usually come home with us sebab nak main dengan Abang. Pukul 6 keluar lagi sebab Abang ada extra piano class (cikgu baru tak puas hati dengan cikgu lama punya pengajaran so she has been conducting extra lessons for Abang, FOC. Nice kan ? So dedicated......). Met A's mom at the music school to deliver her son while Kamil shot off to Adik's school to pick her up. Kamil then came back to the music school to pick us up. Sempat pulak budak-budak tu mintak Baskin Robbin dari bapak eh...

Balik to mandi and solat and what not and by 7.45 keluar balik to Subang Parade sebab I need a new laptop bag. Dah kena curi kan ? Mangkuk ayun punya pencuri. Had pizza and pasta at the new Market Place in Subang Parade. Tak sedap.. so don't bother lah aaa........ Hehhehehe........ Dessert pun tak sedap. I was really dissapointed with their pumpkin pie.

Balik... packed sedikit sebanyak, then teringat kena hantar report to my boss.. so with a very HUGE sigh fired up the laptop first, send the email .. then dah hooked up on the net tu.. alang-alang kan...

So... here I am......

Aku serious penat !!!

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha.

2011-11-06T11:31:00.003Z

Selamat Hari Raya !

Mak Pak kami balik Penang so apa kah anak-anak yang tak pi sekali ni kena buat ? Masak le...

CY made kuah kacang. I was supposed to masak rendang ayam tapi sebab nak buat soto lagi, chocolate cuppies with strawberry cream topping lagi so rendang we used the frozen and instant ones yang mak kami masak. Selesai.

Ada lemang. I bought it for RM18. Terkejut gak sebab I expected it to be paling mahal RM8. Tapi sebab I haven't bought one in ages, so I thought inflation happened since my RM8 purchase eons ago.

Sekali keluar kat berita TV3 yang confirmed my expectation was correct. Giler apa kena tipu beli lemang. Dah lah separuh masak.

For the soto, I only fried half of the begedil as I wanted to give options to people who is afraid of oil... like moi. Haha....

Anyway, we started cooking quite late on the eve of Raya. Bersantai dan melepak kat Uptown dulu. We only finished all work around 2am and lepas tu bergelimpangan all around the house. Kamil dah awal-awal lagi tidur sebelah CY's son N in the living room. So did Moggy. My darling cat was the one yang selalu teman budak tu tidur whenever he is alone. Comel kan ?

Abang slept on the sofa. Adik, MI and CY in the library, tertidur while watching Smurfs.

Aku of course tarik selimut sebelah Kamil and terkejut sakan bila N bangun for his night feed. Wei.... dah tak biasa wei... Aku pening kepala sampai sekarang sebab bukan saja terkejut beruk dengar dia nangis, habis gorilla and siamang keluar sekali.

But he is such a pleasure to wake up with. Diam aje pastu when he saw us, terus sengih and gelak-gelak. Sebijon macam Abang. Sigh.......

Anyway, when we woke up for N's night feed, I changed his nappies sekali, went to the kitchen to throw the toxins in the bin, turned the water tap on .. and no water came out.

I was confused a bit but I was desperate to get back to sleep so I ignored it.

Woke up to sambung masak and memories of the wee hours in the morning before came back. Ada ke raya-raya takda ayaq.

Called Syabas and was duly informed that the very, very precious water will come back at 3.

Apa nak buat ? I shipped Abang adn Adik to CY's house for their bath and aku sambung masak sengsorang.

They came back and we ate and tidur.

Hehehhe........ what a raya, not !

Nak kata Green Lantern... I don't think so........

2011-11-04T07:36:00.000Z

Lupa nak cerita.

Tuesday night Kamil and I went to pump petrol for his car along Federal Highway.

Afterwards when he tried to re-join the highway, a car from behind flashed their light so he waited until they passed before he entered the road.

Suddenly a flash of green light struck my eyes and shocked the both of us. And then it happened again. It came from the car right in front of us, the car that flashed at Kamil earlier. I saw the passenger from the car shone a green laser like light to his side mirror and the light ricocheted to us.

I saw them laughing while I rubbed my eyes.

I still saw them laughing when they did it for the third time.

So I called the cops.

Well I dialed 999.

The operator answered with “Ya, Cik Puan Kamil. Cik Puan dalam kecemasan ?”
Heheh……. Terconfuse jap. Macam mana lak minah ni can know me….

But I informed her of what happened and she passed the line to Polis Trafik Shah Alam. The policeman on the other side said, “Dia orang saja main-main tu….”

Memang le ! “Sebab tu Encik kena tangkap dan bagi amaran. Bahaya tau ! Mata saya dah sakit !”

I mean luckily it did not hit Kamil’s eyes. If it did, he could have lost his grip on the car and we could have been involved in an accident.

“Ya ya.. Kami akan cuba cari…”

Seriously aa ? What to carinya ? I gave you the plate number, the make of the car plus the damn colour. I am sure it would have been no problem for them to find the culprits especially since minah jawab 999 tu pun boleh kenal aku…

Betul tak ?

Merepek di kala demam

2011-11-03T09:49:00.000Z

I have the flu, ladies and gentlemen.

Been feeling and experiencing it since Sunday. But then I have been rather poorly for the past 3 weeks, really. However when I looked at my harassed boss no.2, I didn’t have the heart to take MC. In my 1 and a half year with him, I have never seen him take even 1 day of MC. I only know that he is under the weather when his eyes are small. Sian dia. Sakit kepala tuh.

Our ex-boss pun macam tu. He only ever took MC for 2 days. Itupun because he had measles. Actually he should have taken like 1 week so it was pure luck none of us berjangkit from him.

Anyway I had a crazy weekend. On Saturday my house were filled with people. First a colleague and his wife came, then my sisters, then my BFF A, then IRM and his son, then my closest friend J, then my mom then….. takde dah. Itu aje.

It was fun but I was sad I didn’t make anything. Percaya tak ? I knew my colleague was coming and I was planning to bake chocolate valentine cuppies, a rich chocolate cake with gorgeous strawberry cream topping. Tapi sebab aku mengukur jalan with A pegi tailor so tak sempat.

Haha.

For dinner because my sisters remained at my house to melepak, I made carbonara with crispy baguettes and fried calamari dipped in hot salsa. Sedap…. I kid you not. Yalah, sendiri masak kan…

Sunday pagi-pagi lagi I went out with A again. This time she took me for a Javanese massage in KL. I went with the end in mind to go for a massage and I ended up buat bekam.

Sakit !

And don’t ask how come sampai ke situ perginya. I was more worried about Kamil’s reaction when he sees the many, many round shaped bruises because he simply hates that. If I go for spas ke, urut ke and if I come back with apa-apa tanda, all the angins from the four corners of the world will surely masuk his badan.

“Tak sakit ke ? Why must you go through all these pain ?” is something aku sangat takde hati nak layan and answer.

Heheh…

Notwithstanding his angin I think the treatment went well. I was scheduled for another visit but mengenangkan his reaction.. I asked my sister to take it instead.

So since Sunday night I have been feeling the flu. Monday it attacked my head and throat. Tuesday I told kakak secretary that I think I definitely won’t come on Wednesday because I couldn’t concentrate on my work due to the throbbing pain. They were surprised when I terpacul kat office on that very Wednesday. I was not so surprised though. Then today my kakak secretary MC and the other kakak secretary EL.

Lucky them.

My boss looked at me and said that I will be able to rest during the long weekend. Understood. Oh.. he is not being mean, but he needs help. I truly appreciate that that is why I am not pissed off with him. He is a good boss, trust me.

So tomorrow… let us see. Pray for my health, kay ?

It's Friday...

2011-10-28T12:05:00.002+01:00

So today around 5 pm I called home and asked Bibik to "keluarkan daging...". She of course did what she was told but that is lah. She didn't bother to soak it in water to speed up the thawing process so when I got home at 6.30 the damn thing was still as hard as rocks.

So when I saw the thing still solid molid, aku rendam and hoped that she will emulate what I did in the future. Aku bukan apa, I just do not want to start to talk sebab when I talk kang kecik hati. And second, when I start I need all the willpower in this whole darn world to stop.

Kang ko tak suka aku tak pasal-pasal kang.

Anyway... I was summoned by a bigwig just now. Kecut jap. But before I went I informed boss no.2 whom encouraged me to tell boss no.1. Boss no.1 cringed and asked if I am okay and of course I am okay. I did the damn report so whatever it is dah prepare lah apa2 yang perlu jawab.

When I returned, my 2 bosses looked at me and was relieved when I can explain our report well. Boss no.2 whispered to me that boss no.1 said if I got hammered, just tell the bigwig that it was all his, boss no.1's doing.

Awww..... So nice. So thoughtful. What a good boss. Terharu jap.

So now still waiting for the beef to thaw a bit more. Then boil it whole, then slice it, then fry the slices in deep oil, remove from oil, remove some of the oil, then fry garlic, onion, galangal and lemongrass in the oil, add ketchup, nampla, oyster sauce and daun limau purut, add salt and sugar and voila ! daging masak merah. As my darling Jubei's recipe. Sedap tau.

Sup suhun with prawns and veg dah siap.

And just heard the sound of the 'tup' sound from the rice cooker.

Better start looking at the beef again before the hungry people come home.

Take care. Hujan ni... best tido...

Emo lepas kena rompak

2011-10-25T15:25:00.007+01:00

Wow... I really haven't been here in a long time. Such a lazy blogger, I am. Or not... There are other reasons that stopped me from writing.. of which I could not share.... haha.

But one other reason is...House was broken into. A-hmm.... All 3 laptops gone, the Ipad, video cam and of course my sanity because of the fact that the sanctity of my home was violated. Second of all was because gone with the laptops are our family pics.

Itu yang buat aku went berserk kejap.

Gone are our holiday snaps, impromptu shots and whatever still photos of our years.

Bila the pics were gone, I started to get concerned about the things that we do have.. our video tapes. Aku paksa Kamil to replace the video cams (first burglary, video cam guna small tapes yang kena pau... Yang incident terbaru ni yang guna small cds... so Kamil kena beli dua-dua.. ahaks !)so that I can watch them....so busy trying to salvage whatever that is left of my children when they were smaller.

The first cd that we watched was a shock. So shocked I was, I cried uncontrollably while my family tried to watch the video and gaped at my tears at the same time.

Abang was about 4 and Adik probably just reached her first year. It was obvious that the whole family just woke up from an afternoon nap and apparently after we returned home from our first ever vist to Alamanda.

Now, I do not remember the details of that trip before but after watching that tape, everything came whooshing back to me in a rush. The memories came shooting in from all corners and I was reeling from all these mixed emotions. I smiled and I laughed and I was mesmerised.

But the one that made me cry ? The voice of my son. I did not remember that he used to sound like that ! How sweet it was, how babyish he sounded. He had sort of like husky voice and the words he used ! And the way he looked when he talked, how his eyes played and the expressions on his face.

How could I have forgotten all that ?

Aku nangis because I missed that boy... and because of who he was at that time... So innocent and trusting and ... well my little boy.

Aku tak tidur malam tu because I kept thinking about him at that age. Did I hug him enough ? Was I always there for him ? Did I ever hurt him, ignored him or just plainly didn't see him because I was busy with work or watching the telly ?

In that video he talked about "the secret place". I remember it so well now... We were going to Alamanda(which he called Alamanda Subang Parade) and he kept badgering me on our our destination. You know kids, they wouldn't be satisfied with just Alamanda. A lot of info needed to be dispensed to satisfy their curiosity and thus to shut him up I told him that we are going to a secret place and this secret place does not like inquisitive little boys.

On the way (well.. we actually lost our way and Kamil was busy going round and round and round) my little boy got a bit restless and to distract him I pointed to a red hill and told him that it was a volcano.

And now I remember his face... when he looked at the "volcano" so full of wonder. He looked and looked and looked not saying a thing until he lost sight of it. Then he jumped at me, so full of questions and I had to make them all up as we go along.

And in that tape, he still talked about the volcano...

And sebab itu kot aku nangis...

Kalau aku boleh, I will upload the clip here. Just for you guys to see...

Weekend

2011-09-25T11:52:00.002+01:00

Urrghhh.......... what an indulgent weekend !

Received about 4 invitations tapi I only fulfilled family ones. The rest, Kamil's client and 1 ex-colleague I had to decline. I really hate makan sampai kembung. Cakap aje... because even though I went to one house for lunch and another house for dinner, still kembung jugak.

Kamil's Mak Teh served mee kari. Tengah makan baru perasan udang masak tempoyak. How lah can I miss that one. Ambik lah jugak sikit and it was amazing. Pekat dengan tempoyak, which I love even though I do not take durian. Haha.

Since we are still bibikless, balik to clean the house and tackle the laundry. There were loads. Luckily Kamil is able to take half the load.

For dinner went to Kamil's Mak Ngah's house and they had live keawtiaw and satay cooking, cendol and pasemboq. Makan lagi.

Slept with heavy stomach so it was not that peaceful.

Today we cleaned the house again. And cleaned. And more cleaning.

Bila bibik takdak baru lah perasan that she is not very good at keeping house. Borderline lazy lagi sebab I couldn't see the effort at all. Bibik Yati last time memang tak pandai but the effort is there. Yang ini... hmmmmmmmm.... Setakat elok nak jaga anak-anak ajelah.

Aku ni... kalau tak pandai takpe, boleh diajar tapi kalau malas tu yang susah. Hmmm............ Nak buat macamana ? It is rather hard to get a good maid. Walaupun this one Kak M yang carikan seperti biasa but she could not guarantee her efficiency, kan ? She can only promised me that she can be trusted, itu saja.

Jadilah. Beggers cannot be choosers and since I am not the type to marah-marah... I just have to bear with her.

Tomorrow I start training. Seminggu siap. Dok pulun siapkan report ni...

Cerita bodoh bulan posa

2011-09-24T11:34:00.003+01:00

Okeh... meh aku cerita...

Satu hari during ramadhan, all of us broke our fast kat TGI. All of us were there.... so I took the opportunity to ajak adik-adik aku tolong angkat pondok aku from the left side of the house, to our patio on the right side.

My BIL MD cakap ok aje and ajak to buat kerja-kerja pemindahan malam tu gak.

They all came around 10 pm and mulalah Kamil, MI, MJ, MH and MD flexed their muscles. It was not an easy job kay sebab ada halangan di setiap perjalanan. But MD dah studied the pondoks (ada 2 masalahnya),keliling rumah tengok topography and all, duduk memikio cara-cara yang paling sesuai and off they went.

Aku nengok aje. After they sucessfully placed the first one, tiba-tiba this horrible smell assaulted our nostrils. It was beyond awful. Smelt like fresh cat poo. Check-check ropanya MI yang dah terpijak. Hehehheheh.... Meraung le mamat macho itu sambil mengamuk marah Moggy. Sorry ek. Moggy tu ada class, he wouldn't do such thing. Plus, all the while he was in the kitchen... so it wasn't him. Whatever it is, puaslah kita orang berguling bantai gelak kat dia sampai dia meraung lagi sekali.

That is why, the next one MI tak mau buat. Mengada.

Anyway, we sat bersembang until past midnight and they left with plans to sahur roti canai kat kedai Mamak.

Pukui 4.30 pagi Kamil dah pi collect adik-adik and mak aku. Some kita jumpa kat sana. While eating, my Maksu sms-ed suruh mai rumah dia ambik barang. Kamil buat perangai gila and ajak pegi Damansara dan-dan tu jugak. So pegilah aku dan dia, anak-anak kami, mak aku and MI.

Tak sampai 5 minit dalam kereta, the horrible smell from yesterday mai balik. MI ni tak cuci betul ke ? Belek kasut dia and adalah sikit yang masih tinggal. Aduih.. letih kay. Punya lah busuk, aku pening kepala.

So Kamil berenti kat petrol pump seksyen 9 and suruh MI basuh the offending selipar kat situ. Dah dia keluaq, kami pun keluaq lah. Marah lah pulak dia.

"Tak payah lah semua orang keluaq !" Eh, suka hati lah. Kamil went around the vicinity to cari kayu, while mak aku bagi instruction macam mana nak buat kat MI. Aku dok berdiri sambil gelak aje... Entah kenapa kelakar sangat.

It didn't seem to work, masih ada banyak lagi walaupun water was used and Kamil jumpa kayu to help scrape it off. MI dah angin tahap gaban dah masa tu. Why, I dunno.

Then mak aku grabbed the shoes from him and sambil mencangkung, mak aku ketuk-ketuk kasut tu kat rumput. Aku ngan Kamil pi bantai gelak lagi because the sight of her in her jubah, matahari pun belum naik lagi, tepi jalan sambil dok mencangkung tu sangat kelakar bagi kami.

Tambahan pulak si MI menjerit-jerit suruh mummy berhenti but she ignored him. MI entah kenapa naik gila and while aku and Kamil dok gelak and mak kami dok ketung-ketung kasut tu atas rumput, dia nya dok menjerit-jerit, "Family ni clown tau ! Clown ! Clown ! ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH "

Lagi le aku and Kamil bantai gelak....

Aku tak tahu kenapa aku rasa the incident sangat kelakar.

Aku tak tahu kenapa MI kena angin.

Maybe we are really clowns.

If only I took pictures.

Heheh.

Merepek di kala pening

2011-09-22T08:12:00.000+01:00

So….

Hmmm…….

I am very happy. Tersangat happy.

But also, I am quite worried. About something that is totally unrelated to my source of happiness.

So… last night, my worry and extreme delight made it quite difficult for me to sleep.
So a bit hazy now.

A bit ? Who am I kidding ? Extremely hazy.

I have loads to do. Have to finish them by tomorrow morning as I have a meeting after lunch and will be off the whole of next week for training.

It has been awhile since I been trained.

Tension jugak.

Ngantuk lah.

Semalam aku naik hantu. I told my kids already to jangan buat perangai sampai Mummy jadi Pontianak. Degil.

I am the sweetest so and so around okay (heheh) tapi bila aku angin, you’d better run.

Ooohh.. berlagak.

My staffs nak datang rumah. Hari tu quite a few couldn’t make it. So aku pun apa lagi, busy le nak ngebat rumah. At least dapat tukar cushion cover yang dah koyak rabak tu pun jadi lah.

Hehhehe…..

Btw kelmarin, Abang nak naik atas. Sibuk keliling rumah cari Moggy. When I saw him happily carrying Moggy out of the kitchen, I shook my head in resignation. Punyalah penakut, kucing pun jadilah nak jadikan teman.

But when he saw me shaking my head away, he said, “Saya bukan takut lah, Mum… I just need companionship…”

Hehhe… Amboi hai…. Cepatlah aku dapat menantu agaknya.

Raya do

2011-09-21T08:14:00.000+01:00

So… Raya dah nak habis.

Aku kononnya nak cerita sangat pasal tragedy kelakar bangat sebelum Raya tak pun cerita-cerita sampai sekarang. The mood for that story dah hilang dah… Hehhe…

Last week we invited Kamil’s past and presents colleagues datang rumah for raya. Because aku tak puas makan ketupat palas and kuah kacang (I am a kuah kacang person… rendang doesn’t do that much for me…) I served that together with kawan2nya ketupat and rendang, plus laksa Penang and the usual Minestrone soup with crusty baguette (I really should start making other type of soups sebab satgi orang boring mai rumah aku…. Nak buat mushroom soup leceh lak.. Nak kena blend soup tu at the end….).

Mum made some meehoon goreng sebab takut tak cukup buuutt…. Aku ni segan lak nak serve it to my guests sebab pernah sekali when I was small, aku dengar orang bersembang pasal menu at a party and “biasalah kat Malaysia ni birthday party mesti ada meehoon goreng…” was mentioned. And dah lama-lama spaghetti Bolognese was mentioned alongside meehoon goreng. So sebab takut orang boring, aku akan cuba elakkan from serving these 2 dishes. Tapi Kamil keluarkan jugak sebab Mummy’s meehoon goreng is his favourite. Sekejap je habis pulak. Soo…. orang dah tak boring dah lah kot…. Haha.

I also made chocolate cup cakes and caramel congo bars which one of my staffs tapau-ed home for his family. Mana mamat tu dapat tupperware Allahualam because I definitely didn’t give it to him. I also baked marble cheesecake and of course chocolate and vanilla tarts. Must reduce the eggs when I next whip out a batch of them vanilla creams.

Alhamdullilah the guests didn’t come in droves but they arrived in batches so we weren’t super busy and had time to talk and sit down with the guests.

My boss came with his lovely, lovely family. Before that Kamil’s Dutch boss arrived right on the dot and I shook his hand saying, “How marvelously mat salleh of you to come on time..” just to make Kamil a little anxious. I suspect that he is a bit nervous when I am in the same vicinity of his bosses as he knows I like to tease.

My aunt and uncle came all the way from Perak so yeay ! I was happy and Kamil was grateful.

We have taken out the humongous table from the library and put it in the kitchen instead as the kitchen table kan dah pi ke patio. The light green table made a wonderful working table, what with its size and girth. I placed a two seater and a long backless bench in the library to fill the space, laid out an old carpet and voila ! a much cosier library materialized. During the makan-makan, we left the side door opened and it was sooo nice in there, what with the wind and the rustling of the leaves from the rambutan tree just outside the room.

Sooo nice…. Especially considering that I didn’t have to spend any money to furnish the new addition to the house as expected. Well… maybe I have to re-upholster some of it. Shouldn’t be too expensive.

My guests prayed in the library and when my aunt and my cousins were in the room, I saw them baring-baring sambil sembang-sembang and they looked peaceful and tranquil… and oh perasannya aku.

Anyway, it was a nice makan-makan. Food tak banyak yang tinggal and my guests stayed for quite awhile to lepak and just enjoy themselves. Kamil’s boss stayed for almost 2hours which was nice. Kamil’s aunt and her family also stayed for quite some time, bergossip berbagai with his sister sambil gelak-gelak. One of Kamil’s ex-staff siap mandikan anak lagi. I am glad that people are comfortable in my home.

Masalahnya we didn’t take any pics. Sayang….

Cerita pendek hari raya... cerita panjang.. Sat na....

2011-09-08T08:14:00.003+01:00

Selamat Hari Raya ! Maaf zahir dan batin.

It has been awhile since I wrote. And I do want to write, especially about just before raya and raya itself buuutt... I thought it would be nicer with pics. Buuuttt the pics are only available via Facebook and... apparently you can't copy from Facebook and paste it elsewhere.

So really right now I am waiting for my very inefficient sister to pass me the pics.

As usual, pagi raya with the ILs. Then around 12 baru le dapat aku balik rumah mak... like 5 minutes away. Second year in a row I ajak Kamil balik kampung dia and dua kali jugaklah dia tak nak.

So what to do ? Ikut my sister balik Seremban. Hehe....

Malam we visited Bab and Mami Ela and it was really fun sebab my cousin Zaf is back from Dubai. It had always been such a pleasure talking to him, especially since he and my husband both adore each other so they talked a mile a minute. Ada je benda nak cerita.

Second day, pagi-pagi lagi aku cabut balik Perak. Best.... And as usual, aku pegi solo sebab my other family members cannot bergerak pagi2 one.

Best kat Perak. At one relative's house we were served Mee Kari Ketam. Terangkat segala apa benda yang boleh diangkat. Kita orang tension sebab dok memikio macamana le masak benda alah ni. Macam masak mee kari biasa ke ?

My aunt punya lah curious sebab esok pagi when we woke up, tu dia... Mee Kari Ketam for breakfast. Berebut kita orang makan. Menjadi, buutt... kurang manisnya. Maybe they had better ketams than my aunt.

And oleh sebab itu juga, I will try to make some this Saturday.

Tunggu ya for the verdict.

Anyway we had wanted to stay for 2 nights. By 4 pm dah angkat bag dah... dah kat pintu dah kita orang pun... But punyalah busy bersembang, when I looked at the watch dah pukul 6 !

So Kamil said, toduq sajalah lagi satu malam. "You okay ke ?"

You asking me ? Of course le aku okay. Rumah my family maaa ?

Happy !!!

Anyway, yesterday Mom called to announce the death of my aunt in Kedah. My dad's sister-in-law, mom of my 4 cousins. Terkejut gak because we didn't know. Patut le mom ajak balik Kedah but she didn't tell us why. Kita orang malas le pulak nak balik because the very loooong journey.

Anyway, I am quite sad that we didn't go. I simply can't. Berguling atas lantai boss aku kalau aku ambik cuti lagi..

Dah malam baru my cousin teringat nak sms all his cousins. Aku tak perasan pun until my other cousin called around midnight to ask. Sian. Aku tak mau kacau that is why I didn't call. Busy kan ? Tengah sedih kan... Tak yah lah aku kacau.

Anyway, dah tak ramai dah menakan aku up north. Most of us are here so aku kesian jugak ngan depa. Tapi I am sure adik-beradik belah Arwah ada to offer help.

Takpelah. Maybe next week aku balik utara to check up on my poor uncle. My Tok Cik pun meninggal kat rumah depa. So I can use the opportunity to visit her grave jugak.

Al-fatihah for Mak Arah, yek ?

Thanks.

Today's ramblings

2011-08-27T04:01:00.003+01:00

Soooo patio ku dah siap... Hehehhe...

Siap bayar pun so ... selama beberapa tahun aku akan dok sengap-sengap sebab pulus is gone...

I have taken pictures but bluetooth on this computer has gone wonky so I can't upload yet at the moment. This morning we huffed and puffed the kitchen dining table there and it is okay. The one that is not okay as I have predicted is the very empty space in the kitchen.

Hmmm....

So now tinggal nak bawak turun the day bed. And of course items to buy. And boy they are quite extensive.

1. 2 single seaters
2. Tiffany lamp (I refuse to have any other type)
3. Side table
4. Fresh new sheets for the day bed

Alamak... So .. ehm, ehm... kalau hangpa mai don't be shocked if my patio is empty... Banyaknya nak belanja !

Anyway, the ceiling fan in our upstairs family room rosak and has not been working for quite some time. When the electricians came to sort out the patio, I asked them to look at the fan and voila ! in no time, dah elok.

But the kids didn't know it and imagine their surprise when Abang accidently switched it on, it rotated. "Mummy ! The fan is working again !" I rounded up the stairs to see my children in agog. Heheh...

"What did you do ?"

"I dunno.. I just turn it on !"

So... here we go.

"This is really a miracle of Ramadhan ! Itu lah korang prayed and prayed and suddenly it repaired on its own !"

Abang still held his surprise and wonder face. Adik's pulak has turned to confusion and a bit sceptical.

"Itulah, what ever we do dalam dunia ni, kita kena mintak dekat Allah.. blah, blah, blah...*sermon* .... blah, blah... *lecture*...."

And while aku dok syok sendiri bersyarah, Adik leaned to Abang and said, "Saya tak pernah pun doa for the kipas to work...."

Abang shrugged and I just had to stop. No point anymore kan ?

Heheh... dah besar dah... Mummy tak boleh nak pull their legs dah.

Merepek lagi..

2011-08-24T08:35:00.005+01:00

To say that I am tensed in really an understatement. But how else can you say it, yeah ? I have so many, many things running in my head oftentimes aku tak leh nak filter those yang real and yang merepek. Heheh..

Today, my ex-boss ajak berbuka with him. Actually it should be quite a big do with the rest of our ex-team tapi aku kan… I just didn’t get around inviting everybody. Tengok-tengok dah Monday, the day of our supposed buka and he sms-ed to ask kat mana kita buka.

Err…. heheh…

Thus I have to buka with him today.

Aku bukan tak nak. I have a very good relationship with him still. But, aku nak terawikh, that is all. Especially akhir-akhir Ramadhan ni rasa macam tak cukup aje ibadat, macam ibadat aku just like any normal days. Somehow I have always felt that ibadat during Ramadhan must be extra special.

And tolong berebut dengan ibadah for the hours and minutes of Ramadhan is nostalgia. Ramadhan also is the month of keluar malam-malam shopping for Raya, dengar lagu-lagu Raya while looking for baju kurung and what nots. And thus ada sedikit susah nak accommodate all that from 8pm (dah selesai buka) to 10pm (kedai semua dah katup pintu). Aku kan very nostalgic. I need to re-visit things that are familiar to me sebab tu 2 nights before Raya karang baru kami nak kemas rumah Mummy. Kalau malam sebelum Raya tu karang baru Mummy sibuk nak jahit curtains lagi best. The more kelam-kabut it gets, the happier I will be just so that I could re-capture the Raya of my youth.

And that is why I am contemplating to try and pujuk Mummy to masak ketupat atas unggun api like we used to. Don’t think Mum will agree sebab habis rosak rumput dia but.. I wouldn’t know until I try, kan ? I will definitely be baking cakes (butter, chocolate and marbled cheese). Although my choices of cakes has evolved somehow (used to be butter, fruit and apple cakes only).

Anyway, I have always worried about my future Rayas, when I am old and grey and anak-anak dah besar. Anak aku dua. Kalau dua-dua balik kampong mertua, sapa nak Raya dengan aku, ek ? Kalau gilir-gilir pulak, then I will never ever Raya dengan both of my children. Tak ke haru ?

Tambahan pulak that day my big boss asked my colleague on the number of her children which is an impressive 6. When I answered 2 he went, “Why aren’t you more productive ? Later on during Raya, only 2 come home and that is it ?”, shouting out my fears out loud for all and sundry to see.

But I calmly answered that I have 8 siblings and all live in Shah Alam so I still have my siblings and nieces and nephews that will visit me, eventhough I am not confident with that statement, really.

Balik tu, kebetulan CY berbuka at home so aku ceritalah the conversation with my boss, hinting like mad that she and her kids must ensure that my future Rayas would not be empty. Nasib baik dia jawab, “Jom lah kita Raya rumah Mummy lagi… kumpul kat sana ramai-ramai nak ? Adik-beradik pun jadilah….”

Lega. That is why my friends, make sure we live amongst our family and jangan gaduh adik-beradik, okay ? Because not all of us can afford 6 kids.

Aku demam pulak

2011-08-23T07:58:00.000+01:00

Sooo…. Aku demam ni.

I didn’t even know it until I stepped into my house and almost collapsed. It was such a busy day at work, I was overly stressed and stretched almost to the limit. I didn’t even perasan the frogs in my throat and the aching body until I collapsed on the sofa.

Mom tak sempat masak so she bought pizza. Okaylah. Luckily she made tenggiri masak taucu and there are leftovers of fucuk and suhun masak lemak so I tapau-ed that for sahur.

I didn’t even make an attempt for terawikh as I didn’t think I could even last solat Isyak.

I told Adik to follow her Tok for terawikh but she said, “But I want to be with you, Mummy……..” Awww….. I was sooo touched, the dull pain on my body temporarily slipped my mind. Temporary aje lepas tu rasa balik.

So by 9 I was already asleep and when Kamil woke me up for soq, I was shocked with the intensity of the pain in my throat and head. It was rather agonizing. Menggagau jugak turun bawah (much more careful nowadays when I tackle them stairs), sakit-sakit tekak pun belasah jugak nasi because I was soooo hungry then I popped a few Panadols and tried to go back to sleep.

Tried is the operative word. How can I sleep when Abang came in squeezed all of his mass between Adik and me, and Adik was sleeping on my shoulder tu. Lepas tu he could not lie still and kept moving and…well, aku redha ajelah.

Boss took one look at me and commented how knackered I looked. I must be more poorly than I thought I was if my exhaustion can be seen underneath all those paint I have started to apply on my face.

And my cuti could not come fast enough….

Sigh………….

Untuk raya... sekejaaaappppp aje...

2011-08-20T11:24:00.003+01:00

Last night I had a berbuka puasa do with an orphanage organised by the company. I didn't want to go but boss forced me to so terpaksa jugaklah pergi.

The main reason I didn't want to go was the orphans sebab ... I know I would be crying buckets as soon as my eyes clapped on them.

Surprise, surprise I didn't though. Maybe on account my boss was sitting next to me. But looking at the whole lot of them, so young, so unbelievingly gorgeous, so innocent aku sebak sangat but had to keep them all inside sebab ... well... malu le kat boss.

Anyway, the food was rather good but luckily I didn't have to pay for them sebab I ate like soooo little. Rugi aje. Actually this year, I didn't go to any buffets at all. I know it will be wasted and the exorbitant sum they charge, aku rasa macam rugi sangat. RM50 is too expensive for me already.

Anyway, kebetulan when my colleagues and I did our Maghrib, the orphans were in the surau too and it was such a touching moment for me. I kept grabbing those that were near me asking, "Boleh tak peluk makcik sekejap ?"

Many were willing and it was such a nice feeling to see them shyly but eagerly returned my hugs.

One little girl, so painstakingly adorable in blue tudung, raised her hand happily when I asked, "Sapa nak peluk makcik ni ?" and she ran and jumped on me and the hug she gave me was so tight. Ayaq mata memang mengalir dan dan tu jugak. Then she got up and 5 minutes later she came to me again, arms wide saying, "Saya nak peluk" and so I put her on my lap and I hugged and pinched her cheeks and well.. loved her.

They looked well fed, with nice clothes and well taken care of. But my worry had always been if they get enough hugs, and kisses (I kiss children with my nose), and sweet words thrown at them plus a tickle or two. Itu aje sebab those are the things that children really need.

I asked her name and it was soooo long, pening kepala aku. I asked if I can take her home for raya and the teacher said probably I can because her mom usually doesn't want to take her home. Her father passed away and her mom is an Indonesian that is unable to care for her. But from the looks of it, is not really bothered with her pun.

So I will try. I am gonna try and bring her home for raya and bawak balik kampung.

Insya-Allah.

How to review reports

2011-08-19T06:31:00.003+01:00

Cara-cara nak review report staff anda

Step 1

Cuba baca tengok. Don't judge first. Do not think about the grammar mistakes and whatever dark and insidious lurking between the words.

Step 2

Take a deep breath and try to stem your anger. Re-read again, slowly this time eventhough you know changing the speed level is not going to help much.

Step 3

It is better for you to tackle the grammar and vocabulary first before you do the context because sometimes, things do get clearer when everything is fixed nicely. Oh, you might need to get the offender to sit next to you so that you can ask him to explain what is the meaning of all that ****.

Step 4

Ignore his/her sheepishness. It will definitely come as soon as your 3rd correction.

Step 5

Surpress whatever pity you have for him/her by your 10th "What do you mean by this ?" because if you do, they will inadvertantly feel relaxed and will never ever learn. You will be their English teacher forever and ever and ever if you do this (my daughter certainly thinks I am one because of my red pen and angry mutterings while I read them reports !!)

Step 6

Once you delved into their heads and finally understood what he/she was trying to say, read it again to assess the quality of their field work.

Step 7

Explain to them carefully what is missing and ask them to try and 'beef' up the report. Worst case, you have to send them to do field work again.

Step 8

Review them reports again. You are allowed to sigh and shook your head if mistakes are made again. Challenge the contents. Ask them to provide proof of whatever they are saying. Send them away to repair whatever that needs repairing.

Step 9

At this stage you are allowed to cry if things are still not right.

Step 10

Grit your teeth if the aesthetics of the report is not taken care of. Or horrors upon horror if there are still mistakes and errors and points that are without evidence and merit. Point it out to them and ask them clean it up. Again.

Step 11

If the report is still not satisfactory, ask for a soft copy. Once you get the damn thing, do it yourself. Something that you should have done really by Step 4.

Merepek bulan Ramadhan

2011-08-17T14:22:00.003+01:00

Cuti aku hari ni...

Sebab aku juga cuti tang lain, aku dok berangan tak mau bangun soq sebab... well what for right ? Tapi Abang asked oh so politely if I can whip up some pancakes for soq, so... terpaksa jugaklah bangun.

Because cuti, the kids tak tiduq as usual after soq. Depa pi bantai tengok telly in my room.. Adik entah kenapa suka sangat series Thin Blue Line, a British series with Mr Bean in it. Jadi police officer siap. Anyway, mengekek-ngekek lah budak2 ni gelak2 sampai menganggu my very much needed slumber. So I chased them out of the room but since my sleep was already disturbed, I couldn't seem to achieve REM.

Bangun and veg in front of the telly while checking on the contractors buat my patio.

Can I just say that it is looking gorgeous, my patio ? Depa tak letak bumbung lagi, baru ada frame bumbung and it is already so damn pretty ! I was contemplating of letting it be like that, no need bumbung... But.. satgi hujan lagu mana ? I intend to have my food there.

Or... not.

Actually we are not sure what is the purpose of the patio, really.

Initial plan memang sebagai dining like my parents' house. So I was thinking of placing the kitchen dining table there instead of buying another one. Aku rasa macam frivolous and melampau lah sangat pulak kalau rumah aku ada sampai 3 dining table.

Okay, fine... Tapi what are we going to do with the empty space in the kitchen now ?

Kamil suggested putting the one from our dining room but then nanti, what are we going to do with that space pulak ?

And I was thinking we must have an option to eat inside the house sebab musim2 nyamuk dok pakat2 keluaq, kami kena makan kat dalam jugak dak ?

So... nak buat living room ? Kena ada telly. Kalau takdak telly memang wasted lah. Ngan aku-aku tak mau duduk tang tu. Hehehhe......... Problem lak. Tapi beranikah nak letak telly kat luaq ? Satgi hilang, haru lah. Bebailah si Kamil.

Anyway, besok2 I will tangkap some gambaq of my almost ready patio, kay ?

Sedih raya dah mula

2011-08-16T06:49:00.004+01:00

Semalam Adik told me that Nuzul Al-Quran is the day when Quran goes up to heaven.

“So malam ni Quran saya akan naik ke atas lah….”

Hehehhehe….

“Buat apa naik atas…?”

“Err…. I dunno… “

She cocked her head to the side, in deep thoughts. I didn’t correct her yet because I want to know what is cooking in there.

Then..”Maybe, Allah nak baca kot… Dia nak pinjam……….”

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHH !

Sigh… you can really make my day lah Adik even though your story sebenarnya terbalik.

Nuzul Quran, little one is the day the first ayat Quran diperturunkan dari Allah and was brought by Malaikat Jibrail to Rasullullah SAW while he was bertapa-ing in Gua Hiraq, where he was commanded to Iqra’ or bacalah.

So really instead of naik, it actually turun you know….

Hehheheh……………..

Anyway, pejam celik, pejam celik dah nak raya dah. And seperti biasa and seperti tahun2 sebelumnya dari aku kecik sampai lah aku besar, aku sayu when raya is around the corner. Pantang dengar lagu raya aku mesti rasa nak sebak.

When I was smaller, aku sebik bila I thought about my Arwah Tok Wan who passed away when I was 7. Everytime balik Penang terasa sangat dia tak ada. EVenthough for years he was just there on the bed, but I love being with him. We sort of have a staring contest where I would just look at him and he me. Then I would scrutinise his face and hands where I take note of every mole and wrinkles. And I would inhale him. Scent is very important to me. I would always inhale his scent and feel satisfied when the familiarity of it took over my senses.

I also get veryyyy sebak everytime I waved goodbye to my Tok in Perak when we singgah sekejap on the way to Penang. Sampai dia meninggal, kami memang tak pernah rasa beraya dengan dia. Tak pernah... We usually singgah aje on the way to Penang or on the way back to KL.

Eventhough I was small and he was always smiling when we leave, but I could always sense his sadness sebab tak dapat beraya dengan my mom and us kids.

So bila aku besar ni I got sad kenang kan yang aku tak pernah cium tangan dia pagi raya. And now he is gone. Walaupun it is not my fault, but.... well I still feel guilty.

Nangis dah ni.....

I think I am malancholy by nature. Sebab itu dari kecik I am always studying and inhaling my elders sebab aku macam nak take stock of their presence or their being so that when they are gone, I have something to remember by and to hold on. And then get sad about...

Emotional suicide, a friend told me.

Now of course, tambah sedih ingat kan Shera. Writing her name suddenly felt so alien. Macam she is just a frigment of my imagination. Semalam E was at my home when I returned from work. She didn't come to greet me though because she was bathing. So after hugging my kids, seperti biasa I threw myself on the sofa in front of the telly and tiba-tiba there she was, running happily when she saw me. She sat next to me, body leaning heavily against mine, talking a mile a minute.

While she talked, I carressed her hair and seperti biasa only half listened to the incessant chatter. Dah malam nak tidur baru aku rasa eh, macam kurang aje anak aku. And baru teringat, oh tadi ada extra tapi aku dah pulangkan kat bapak dia. And after like 5 hours baru aku nak rasa sedih that dia dah takde mak. That I am her surrogate mak and... well.... how life can be sooo unfair.

Isshh... tak baik.

Sigh........

Kisah aku kat sinun........

2011-08-10T06:40:00.000+01:00

Sooo……….

Dah jumpa blog balik malas pulak nak tulis.

Semalam I was down south again. Dah lama tak pegi. Dulu masa selalu pegi complain memanjang. Dah jarang pegi rindu pulak. Kang dah tak boleh pegi langsung (sebab dah kena jual….), sure meraung.

Anyway… for sahur my colleague ajak pegi makan at a mamak restaurant in front of the hotel. Aku memang kembang tekak nak pegi that particular restaurant sebab demenya jarang sapu lantai. Kalau at the place where your clients can see pun you are not that particular about its cleanliness, I just do not want to imagine what the hidden places (ie the kitchen) look like.

On the way there I saw another restaurant that was opened too. Sedap aku dengar ketung-ketang kuali especially since the kuali was placed right in front of the clients. Ndak jugak aku jenguk jap but my colleague tak nak. Buat dek aje bila aku suggest, so aku pun mengekor dia aje le.

Dah sampai situ, tekak aku makin kembang. Tak lalu aku nak makan Maggie gorengnya. Singgah 7-11 and I bought 2 Zips, a packet of creamed buns and the all important Vitagen.

Rasa loya sampai ke petang, okay ?

Anyway, funny thing happened to me on the way to the airport. My other colleague V suggested that I use this taxi service that he used before to get me to the airport. The pakcik very good he said. Ok le… The driver hensem macam Gerard Butler he said again. Suka hati.

Ada ke halfway to the airport, pakcik hensem seumpama Gerard Butler…punya tukang kebun ni tanya aku, “Cik mengantuk tak ?”

“Ngantuk jugak Pakcik…. Dah bangun sahur kan….”

“Itu lah saya ni pun mengantuk ni ha…..” Err…. patut le bawak teksi terhoyong-hayang sikit.

“Biasanya saya waktu ni tidur kejap kat rumah… 10 minit pun jadilah……….”
Errr………. Okay…

“Cik kisah tak kalau saya berhenti kejap tepi jalan tidur sekejap ?”

What ?

Excuse me, what ?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aku dah tua agaknya... cepat terharu....

2011-08-02T03:45:00.003+01:00

I had a lovely and touching buka puasa at my mom’s yesterday.

Mom made pancakes and spaghetti Bolognese for some reason, to the delight of my husband and my son. My daughter who’s taste matches mine were relieved at the sight of cempedak goreng and keropok leko supplied by MH. Then CT and MD came with cara berlauk and a few other kuihs so Adik and I were quite happy.

Anyway, what was so lovely about buka yesterday ? Because kita orang ramai-ramai berkumpul.

My littlest nephew was there, gurgling his milk and looking sooooo cute. He is uber adorable.

My sisters, CT and CY and their hubbies, MD and MH were there. My still single brothers (it is amazing that all my parents’ daughters are married while their sons are still single !) were also there, filling the very small space with their huge bods. Actually we usually sup in the patio but because berbuka is Maghrib time, which is when all the nyamuks (aedes and non-aedes) keluar bersuka-ria so we had to cramp inside. The table only sits 6 so some of us had to sit on the sofa there that only sits 2 (okay…4 if we huddle close) and some on the piano bench.

It was really funny because you could never see the same people on the dining chairs as we run up for prayers in batches and those who got up to replenish their drinks would find their seats now occupied. We had stopped bothering to re-claim our seats as we know the I-don’t-see-your-name-written-here fight would definitely ensued.

I got a bit teary eyed that my husband and brothers-in-law were comfortable enough to enter Mum’s room for their prayers. And when buka time all of us dok sibuk melayan budak-budak makan, my husband actually took a cup to my mom who was busy flipping pancakes.

And when I saw my husband took a bite of bubur caca and passed his bowl to my mom, saying “Ini rasa sirap, Mummy… cuba rasa…” and my mom with furrowed brows took a bite too and suddenly both of them broke into a laugh, I could feel tears threatening to drop. Soon the bowl passed around the table as curious tongues wanted to have a taste too. That somehow buat aku sebek too.

The sight of my husband burping the littlest member of the family then proudly held him aloft for all to see was also quite a touching moment for me. Plus when MD hugged Ana and Esya with utmost affection when they came running towards him, asking about the toys he bought them yesterday.

Or when CY confidently told her husband who came in his Harley that Kamil would send her and the baby home without even checking with Kamil first. She knew Kamil wouldn't mind the 5 minute trip.

Then all of us trooped to Masjid Negeri for Isyak and Terawikh and waited patiently for all the members afterwards eventhough we came in different cars.

Due to that my doa after Isyak was a single “Thank you, Allah for the gift that you have bestowed upon us………”

PS : Oh yeah, sampai rumah Mummy aje MI threw the upstairs window open and yelled, “Korang pegi mana ?”

Hehhehe…. Tertinggal rupanya sorang kat atas.

My mom replied, “Aku nengok ko berposing atas katil… malas nak kacau………..”
Hehhehehe……………………..

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan...

2011-08-01T05:31:00.001+01:00

Selamat berpuasa, kawan-kawan.

Pejam celik pejam celik dah puasa again.

And I soooo vividly remember last puasa.

Jatuh tangga and sampai nan la tak baik – baik lagi. Dok berdengkot jugak lagi. Sakitnya dah pi ke lutut pulak. Kamil suspected it is gout (YIKES !!!!!) but I am sure it has got something to do with my ankle which refused to heal properly.

Saturday we went to see Captain America. Boy was he handsome. Because seats were limited, we had to buy the 7.50 show. Mai 7.30 aje all of us (there were 8 of us, the usual 4 plus my 2 brothers, my sister CT and her husband) trooped to the surau and lo and behold ! terkejut kita orang becausevthere were sooo many people there.

Aku terharu tengok these young people usaha nak solat sebelum bersuka-ria. The men’s surau siap berimam lagi and it was sooo filled to the brim, they had to do 2 sessions. Oh.. terharu lagi.

Captain America was amazing !!! He is soooo yummy…. Okay, he and Thor can fight for the yummiest superhero in my world. Iron Man… heheh… tak yah lah. Stay down below, my friend.

Itu cerita malam… Siang-siang as usual the kids’ classes, then jumpa contractor (I am finally adding a PATIO at my house ! Yeay !!!!) then…masak, then hantar budak2 lagi (tapi tak yah ambik sebab Amelia hantar kan… Thanks, hon) then kelam kabut siap for wayang. Bibik on Friday lagi we sent her to Kak M’s house.

Sunday was busy. We tried going to pasar but it was too full. Went for breakfast, then pergi belek my nephew at his own abode, then picked my maid up from Kak M’s house to send her to CY’s, then to my mom’s to say hello but stayed for like 1 hour for cok udang and gossips. Then rushed home to siap then picked up CA at CY’s house for a spot of baju raya kat KLCC. But it turned out CY nak ikut (don’t tell my mom okay because dia belum habis pantang)and she said MI nak ikut tapi.... MI was at mom’s so definitely cannot go and pick him up sebab nanti Mak kami nampak… It was all kelam-kabut. Tulis pun penat.

There were no places to eat at KLCC anymore. Kamil took the children for lunch while I helped CA cari baju for her daughter (which Kamil paid for…. Aww…. Thank you, Babah !) and CY and MH (her hubby) cari baju for their son.

When it was our turn to eat, food court was soooo penuh (it was like 4.30 !) so we decided to go to A&W only to find it was not there!Anymore ! What the…. ! We soon discovered that neither was Burger King, nor DeliFrance not even KFC are still around ! Giler apa ? Yang tinggal Aunty Anne’s so itu jelah aku geget sebab perut dah lapar.

Balik hantar CA and my niece balik dulu then at home we kemas sedikit sebanyak then to my mom’s for dinner of nasi ayam then terawikh !

Penat weii…..

Aku penat….

Anyway… tak sedap hati sikit dengan Bibik baru. I have a feeling that she is going to run away soon.

Heheh…

Well…… dia nak balik raya. While that is understandable, how can she go when she just got here ? Plus Bibik Idah (mom’s bibik) nak balik so 2 households without maids are quite unimaginable. Plus we have to consider the household of my sister who is still in confinement.

I told her she can go back next year. It has always been in practice that our maids have to take turn. Yang penting my mom must have a maid. I also told her she can go back for Raya Haji.

“Suami saya mulanya tak benarkan saya kemari kak. Syaratnya saya harus pulang raya………… baru saya dibenarkan datang..”

Pulak dah……….

Hmmmmmmmm.............

2011-07-30T05:16:00.002+01:00

So.... well....

Hmmm..............

When my blog went missing, I despaired and despaired because I have so many things to say.

I seriously contemplated to create another blog but resisted. I was in agony because there was sooo many things to say and I missed writing.

But now..... Hmmm.........

What to say ?

Errr...........

Never mind lah....

Dah lupa semua.

Dapat balik blog aku ? Yippee !

2011-07-29T15:16:00.002+01:00

Hey people....

I am back !!!!!

I lost my blog for awhile and suddenly I got it again.

Happiness ! Sebab there is still an avenue to complain about my husband again... Eh.. Bukanlah... To talk about my life again...

As if...

Until next time. Ciao !

Just wanna say hi...

2011-06-24T17:07:00.002+01:00

So it is midnight and as my son always love to say it, it's today's tomorrow !

Indeed ...

I have orders of chicken lasagna and like 200 cream puffs. Okay, the problem with

1) chicken lasagna is I have never done one. I have protested but the person who ordered was confident that I could overcome whatever problem I have in my head. The only time I use minced chicken is for halal scotch eggs (hehhe... have to stress the halalness) and chicken balls. I am not liking the way my chicken ragu is looking right now.

2) cream puffs... tak jadi !! Setelah bertahun-tahun buat, today of all the days it didn't turn out like how it should. And aku super berpeluh sebab the client wants it for her hantaran.

Help !

I was on leave since Tuesday. Kamil... well... dia buat perangai lagi and quit his job. So since he is on in-between-jobs holiday and knowing his perangai yang susah sangat nak ambik cuti, we took the opportunity to have a short holiday in Terengganu. Kamil told the kids he wants to see where I was born. Ada aje....

So we went early Tuesday morning and came back Thursday afternoon. Friday morning we were busy in and out of abang and adik's school then busy beli barang for the orders that I took and then pegi jumpa abang's paed for his appointment.

And then now, aku sakit kaki macam hapa aje, worrying about the cream puffs that are not puffing as they should.

Will tell more about our Terengganu trip next entry.

Anyway, we had a kenduri doa selamat last weekend. Family and extremely close friends only as I couldn't find my cutleries so in order tak nak meminjam dari sapa-sapa and risk losing theirs (cutleries like to hide themselves), so aku invited agak-agak cukup sudu aku aje.

Hehehhe....

It was a success as far as kenduris go. MI didn't come though. The only way I could think of to lure him back was promising joget lambak after orang balik but still he didn't come so no joget lambak. Darn.... heheh.

Okay, my second batch of cream puffs still failed to puff....

Early morning ketung ketang in the kitchen nampaknya.

Sigh.....

My weekend

2011-06-12T11:03:00.004+01:00

So this weekend felt like Hari Raya....

Because we went to sooo many birthday parties rasa macam dok pi open houses aje... Hhehehe...

Started with birthday party of the daughter of one of my oldest and dearest friend. And they celebrated mine too which was soooo nice and made me sooo terharu.... Ada gambaq. Sat na... Nak pi pinch from her FB jap.

Anyway, that's us. Form giggly girls to giggly mums. Thank you, darlings. It was such a fun meeting even for a short while.

Then we went home, to bathe and pray lepas tu shoot off to Kamil's aunt's house for her granddaughter's birthday. Makan lagi. They barbecued and it was really nice. Kenyang pun makan jugak because Angah is known for her culinary prowess. Her nasi goreng was delicious.

Took family pictures, the whole lot of us but I kenot paste it here.... Takut ada orang tak suka their pictures posted without their permission.

Balik terus tidur macam ulau.

Pepagi Kamil played football with Anu and Shazmi so I had to sent the kids to their class. Since Kamil offered to go to the market for me, aku berlingkar with the latest Dorothy Koomson. I was jolted out of my semi-enjoyment of the book(because it wasn't that nice... boleh ajelah)because Kamil ... well... hehehhe.... pi langgaq the gate.

I was just so happy it wasn't me so I said nothing while I watched his bewildered face and frantic look around trying to pin somebody the blame. Hheheheh....

Luckily he knew his obligations so even though he hasn't the mood, he dragged himself to Shera's parents'house. Birthday of their granddaughter too.

That was my first time actually entering their house after her death so it was rather emotional for me. I sat on the same couch where I saw Ana for the first time, so round, so fair lying on it. I kissed and kissed and kissed her and congratulated my sister-in-law for her cleverness producing such a fine specimen. I remember she went, "Ye ke ?" and laughed her unique laugh.

They had tables outside for their guests so I sat and ate where my mom bathed the body of her beloved daughter-in-law. Where I pour cold water on her body, something that I don't know why we must do. And the little nieces and nephews she has never seen !

And to see her siblings, they share the same eyes, some share her mannerisms was hard for me. Even after 3 years I still mourn her. It is really not easy. She was a big part of our lives and ... ah well... There is nothing I can do about it now, can I ?

We stayed for 3 hours talking to her family who still welcome us, still thinks that we are family.

Well...

Anyway, after that we came home and Kamil and I golek-golek in bed, just talking when I heard Abang coughing. He was just sitting outside our room, doing God knows what while he coughed again and again. So I called him and when he answered I could hear his tears. He was actually crying softly outside.

Sedih hati mak ni dengar so I called him to me and he came and laid next to me, sobbing softly. Kecik hati dengan Adik rupanya, and waiting anxiously for his friend that was suppose to come.

Aku pujuk dia sedikit sebanyak then we went down together.

We watched the telly together before I realised that I haven't seen Adik around. Called her and there she was sobbing sensorang jugak rupanya on the couch.

Laa... awatnya ni ?

Kecik hati dengan Abang because she heard him blaming her for his sorrows when she is the one upset because Abang wouldn't let her blow her noisy balloon (you guys know right those party balloons that made a trumpet-like noise when you deflate them ?)and now the balloon has burst.

Pulak...

Sedih hati mak ni tengok anak-anak yang bawak hati jauh-jauh sorang-sorang.

Well it is my fault, really.

Because I have a lot of siblings, I couldn't hear my children fighting. I will after a while but usually I can just block it off my head. I think because I am used to the noise of people bickering so I am immune to it. Kamil is forever telling me off for letting the kids fight.

But... because I have a lot of siblings, I cannot take the sound of people crying. I suppose because I hear it a lot when I was growing up and I am sooo tired of it. It irritates the hell out of me. My children know that Mummy hates crying so they have been trained to either swallow their cries or take it elsewhere.

So really, I am forever stumbling upon my children heaving and sobbing in a corner somewhere and I find I am a better mother for it because when I see them like that, I would take the time to listen and pujuk.

But.... itu kalau aku jumpa. What about those heart-wrenching episodes that I didn't see and my babies just cry their eyes out alone ?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!

Do I need to change my rule now ?

Dah lama tak tulih pasai my boring weekend

2011-06-08T08:00:00.005+01:00

Last weekend was quite full for us.

Friday abang and adik had a sleep-over at their cousin’s so their parents thought that they will have a nice time tengok wayang ke hapa ke but it turned out these stupid mak bapak ended up fighting and didn’t even have dinner together.

Bapaknya sulking tunggu mak ajak dinner. Mak super duper bengang went out to tapau food then makan sengsorang dalam bilik while watching old NCIS dvds. Pueh hati. Plus, I didn’t know he was waiting for me to ajak makan kan ? Plus, why must he wait for me ? Can’t he make the effort to say sorry and ajak dinner ? Let us not go there…. Jadi lain kang entry nih….

Anyway, mak pagi2 pegi bawak maid buat FOMEMA. While waiting, bapak ada hati call mak. Lepas tu call bukannya untuk say sorry ke hapa, but call to ajak makan dengan mak bapak dia !

Errmm…. HELLO ?

You must be kidding me. Gilo apo ?

Mak hung up the phone. Pueh hati.

Sampai rumah, bapak pun keluar. I thought he went out with his parents (pukul 10 pagi lunch… awal giler, she thought) so mak dok diam-diam nengok tv. Then, tiba-tiba balik rumah orang tu.

Aiik ? Tak jadi ke ? Then terus landing sebelah mak nengok tv sekali. Err…. I thought we are still fighting ? How dare you duduk sebelah I ? WAAAAAAAAA !!! Sakitnya hati.

Dalam 20 minutes of watching the telly in silence and stewing at his audacity of sitting next to me (I tell you people, I was bloody pissed off of this fight … I really don’t know why), suddenly dengaq ada orang honk kat luar.

Bapak quickly got up. Must be his parents picking him up. “Please come with me….” He said suddenly, eyes so very redup with hope.

Hhehehe…. Tergelak kejap. Tapi dalam hati only as no way can I show him just with that 4 words aku terus tak marah dak… Ego orang tua….

“You have 20 minutes sitting next to me and you didn’t say anything ? Last2 minute baru nak cakap ?” I asked in a not too friendly tone and bristled for good measure. “I thought I dah bagi message loud and clear that I nak you pegi….” Jawab bapak pulak.

“Message apa you bagi ?”

“Tadi… I dah laga-laga kaki dengan you….” Hhehehe…. Sian dia.

Okaylah… The wicked witch of the west I am not so I grabbed my tudung and followed him out.

“Where are we going ?” and even though my question is expected, his answer made me bristle again.

Awana Genting Highlands.

Doesn’t he know that for travels that cross the state line I need preparations ? Loo visit first then extra knickers then wipes, loads of it, extra clothings for the little ones and so on and so forth.

I need to prepare !

Aku cuma sempat loo visit aje and because his parents will be in the car, his arse was saved.

I didn’t eat much up there because the headache generated from his very fast driving up the hill. Whatever I partook was good though, the chicken soup, and the red jelly, chocolate pudding and its caramel version. The cake was dry, so urgh… Oh yeah the yong tow foo was good too.

We were up there for 2 hours max before we came down again. Sent the kids home then mak bapak yang dah reconcile ni (heheh) went to The Curve to get tickets for X-Men. No dinner for us adults, but the kids who can’t read their tummy properly had O’Brien’s sandwiches, while mak bapak watched and salivated over every bite they took. Hehheheheh…..

X-Men was nice. I love it ! It was so good, Adik didn’t sleep in the darkened wayang even though we caught the 10pm show. James McAvoy is yum-mee ! Sigh…..

Sunday morning mak and bapak braved the rain for pasar tani. We buy our biccies from there and we were running low. Aku tak tahulah, maybe because we came from the generation that buys our biscuits by the kilos, bapak and I had always felt that biscuits dalam packets are not as nice as the ones that came from dirty and rusted tins. And being ol’ timers, we only like biskut jagung and good ol’ chocolate wafers. Yumm……………..

After beli biskut sampai RM30 (dah beli dalam kilo… mahal le….), cari breakfast (makanan kat pasar tani tak sedap sangat… so memang kena cari carefully) then balik. Bapak went to survey for new rims and I… ? Well kelam kabut mangkit dari tiduq when I heard his car came in…. HEheheh… boleh tertiduq pukui 10 pagi….

Anyway, siap-siap by 12 we headed for KLCC and we reached there by 12.30. Yup… you read it right. Half an hour to get to KLCC. We couldn’t believe it either. Went to send my watch for repair (sebulan okay to just assess what is wrong and give me a quotation… Orang kat Malaysia tak tau repair jam… depa kena hantaq pi Singapore… Buat malu aje) then pusing-pusing sat before heading or the food court for lunch. Punyalah ramai so we abandoned the plan and brave ourselves to try the new restaurant Ben’s Place which replaced our all–time favourite, California Pizza Kitchen.

Sedey tau… I love the ravioli at California’s Pizza Kitchen. Why good things never last ? Why ?

Food was okay. My steak sandwich was all right but the chicken pie bapak had with his daughter was tough and uninspiring. Abang seemed to be okay with his burger, though.

We were actually on a mission so we stopped by Mid Valley but our mission failed so we consoled ourselves at MPH and later Delifrance. I was planning for an Italian dinner and looking at the array of crusty baguettes, I ordered 1. Nak flavor apa, kak ? asked the guy at the counter. Ada flavor ? Rupanya we can either choose kaya or garlic. I chose garlic and menyesal tak sudah because that guy was spread happy that very minute because he slathered, and slathered and slathered some more of the fattening garlic butter on my bread. So much so I had to ask him to stop and go easy. In fact I asked him to scrape of some and transfer it to the other bread. Dasat.

Anyway, balik.. guling-guling sat then I made dinner. And had the butt enhancing garlic bread.

Hmmm...............

2011-06-03T15:24:00.002+01:00

So hari tu I watched the Switch, janda si Brad Pitt with the Teen Wolf guy ? She looked so old, aku rasa macam kesian sangat. Eventhough she is beautiful, she no match for Angelina Jolie, the sexy siren.

So I pitied her while I watched her acting it out, not just because of her sad love story but also because the movie sucks. Well not sucked really but I was none to impressed. Biasa aje. The movie didn't make me feel all nice nad lovey-dovey or euphoric but actually like most movies of late, it is sort of unfinished and looked hurried. I don't think she is very successful on the big screens. Kesian pulak.

Because the other woman is phenomenal in the movies. Always hated if the other woman wins.

Am watching Jake Gyleenhaal and Anne Hathaway's movie now. I see a lot of her bare skin and it is beautiful. Simply gorgeous. Her body is narrow and lithe with creamy skin. Made me feel very nervous... about how I look... he heh.

Anyway, it was Shera's birthday 3 days ago.

I miss her.

I really do.

Especially when I hear Anuar Zain's new song. She would have loved that song.

It is a nice song.

Why

2011-05-28T15:37:00.002+01:00

Those who know the connection between me and one of Malaysia's biggest GLC's announcement yesterday would know why I am feeling quesy.

Quesiness that stemmed from uncertainties for my future.. well my professional future that is.

I love what I am doing now. And surprise, surprise I am actually quite good at it. Something that I found out 3 months ago from my bosses. They were very,very complimentary and those compliments were made even sweeter with my promotion.

I was at the prime of my life. I have good bosses, team members that I truly care about and work that hey... I am good at and enjoy.

Up until Friday (yesterday aje...)before lunch, I was euphoric about next week, and was busy making plans and juggling schedule for the rest of the team.

Then balik office after lunch and my world turned upside down.

Devastating news. Something that I expected to happen really but we were promised that it would wait. Not until next 2 years and when we learn the outcome of the upcoming project.

But the powers that be decided to do it early, when the project had only started 3 months ago.

It shouldn't affect me. But it does. And I am unsure about the future because they hired me for my expertise in this field. And when they decided not to be involve in this field anymore, what am I going to do ?

My bosses aren't worried about me. They say I will fit in seamlessly. One boss said "You took this job like duck to water, I have no worry for you trying other industry... Don't limit yourself to one only.........."

But this industry is my passion. I love it. I did try for 3 years in a different industry but it was bo-ring. I couldn't take it. It was so bland and blah and unchallenging.

I don't want to leave this conglomerate that I have loved. I really don't.

But.......

Why can't they let things be for at least 2 years ?

I love my team. I am going to miss them.

I love my clients. I am going to miss them too. Some are not clients anymore. They are somebody that I have learnt to respect and have high regards for.....

Darn it...... Good things never last.

Why ?

Hari ini

2011-05-24T11:01:00.002+01:00

So hari tu my adik-beradik and I went to watch Insidious. Mak Boyot tu yang ndak so kami ni mengekor aje. Sebelum masuk wayang kita orang pakat-pakat kutuk dia, cerita apa yang kome pilih ni ? Nampak macam tak best. Pelakon pun tak kenai. Awat kita tak tengok Priest/Johnny Depp si Lanun ke hapa ke ?

Dah masuk, semua orang kejung kaki sebab takut. Tak kenal pun whomever on the screen pun tak kisah lah sebab seram !!!!

Kamil and MI gelak2 for some reason. Aku rasa demenya gelak sebab takut. Si Mak Boyot as reported by her husband keep having contractions. Nasib baik she is a doctor so she can handle it by herself lah... HAHAHHAAH...Ada ke.

Today aku coti. Woot ! Woot ! Tapi coti amende. Pagi pergi office dulu. Kamil waited in the car for a good 1 and a half hours before we rushed to SJMC for his appointment. Then office balik. I dunno why my boss always ask me whenever I cuti, "You nanti ada datang office tak ?" Hai lah... dah namanya cuti, buat apa den nak pi office ? Tapi bila dah kata-kata itu dikeluarkan, terpaksa jugak lah.

What to do. Sigh.........

Then balik rumah sebab Kamil cannot tahan tengok aku bawak laptop company keliling, before we went out again for lunch at Sari Ratu.

Dah lama aku tak pegi Sari Ratu, terlupa how violent to the tongue the kuah asam could be. It was hell. The ais teler was comforting though.

Pastu balik bam-bam kejap sebelum mangkit balik for my appointment kat DEMC pulak. Hehhehehehe....... Tension kan ? Dah tua, macam inilah. You'd be needing the doctor quite often.

Last week we went to see Bab. So sad. I just cannot describe it but it was sad. He is already out of the ICU so yeay ! But.....

Anyway... nothing much to tell. Still need to fill in my KPI thingy. It is due tomorrow. Apalah aku nak tulis ni ?

Darn it....

Merepek galore

2011-05-17T11:51:00.004+01:00

Okay... macam-macam yang aku nak tulis after like a month hiatus. Plenty of things to rant and rave about, to praise about .. but I just didn't have the time and now when I can afford some time, the heat is off so ... heheheh.... macam dah malas nak tulis.

Anyway, I went to Bangkok again. Came back and moved office so now 3 divisions of people like me in one big room. I dont like it really because our team is only about 8 and it was cosy in our previous set-up. Now about 50 of us gathered together, masih nak kena bersuai-kenal and the room is too big...

Anyway, we got a new team member last 2 weeks and with her experience and age, she was made a team lead like me and 2 others. I was glad of her presence as she could take some load off of me.

But, on the first day a colleague and I kena belasah dengan dia. Terkedu kejap kami berdua sebab this being her first day should have tried to make friends instead of exerting power.

Then our boss and myself briefed her of our schedule and plans and what we are currently doing and I think that was a big mistake because I think she now thinks that I am a threat as she only asked for my, and only mine, credentials. WTF.

Then we talked about some projects and she dengan selambanya said okay, I can take this over from you now. Errr......

So dah macam dah tak best dah. Before her arrival a new guy came in and he also sort of disrupted our synergy as before we were sheltered from office politics. Safe to say none of us were interested. We were busy working and being a team. We gave each other credits, we openly tell our bosses if a discovery were made by another team memeber and not us... We were that confident in our skin and we do love and respect each other that much.... but now... Sigh.............

I hate it when things change... or the winds of change is being felt already.....

Everything is okay at the home front. Well except for Bab being sick and Bibik is going home soon.

Talking about that, semalam she came up to me eyes red, begging for me to send money to Indonesia because electricity at her house was about to be cut. Okay, okay I said... chill.... I will do it. Please, she said again as kalau nak disambung balik bayarannya 3 juta... Sian omak bibik sakit-sakit duduk dalam gelap.

Iyolah bibik, said I. I will do it.

Nak dijadikan cerita, Western Union off line. Sedih aku sebab bergelap malam ni omaknya bibik. Dan malam esoknya (today le tu) because cuti Wesak and Western Union totup pulak.

Nak ku leter kan, itulah bibik masa bibik bekerja pun bil elektrik buleh terlepas. Ni nanti bibik tak kerja lagi la.... Tapi because I am not a nag, I keep all in. Nampaknya kena jugak aku hulur kat bibik bulan-bulan lepas ni. Tak sanggup den memikir....

Sigh.....

My Bab

2011-05-16T03:42:00.000+01:00

So I went to see Bab.

He was diagnosed with colon cancer and had his operation to remove the affected areas last week.

I didn’t get to see him because the visiting hours didn’t gel with my working ones. How very frustrating.

Then he went for another operation because he had some kind of infection.

When I went to see him, he was heavily sedated. I just looked at him as my cousin told me not to wake him up. I bawled my eyes out because he looked so fragile, so vulnerable so broken. My mind kept taking me when he was younger, the jet setter who was not based at home. The guy whom we had to sit down and chat with every time he is in the country for the holidays. Like going in for a job interview, he would ask the name of our schools, our grades, hobbies etc. I sometimes think that was just his ice-breaking session with us because we were always shuffling our feet, being very uncomfortable at first, talking to this guy whom we see once a year but after every session, we would be the best of friends already. Suddenly he would be our favourite uncle. Again.

His wife, my Mami Ela is the warmest person ever so we never had to break any ice with her. Hugs and kisses were aplenty and we always fell in love with her at first sight.

While I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, he suddenly opened his eyes. Kamil remarked, “Tidur macam Abang… bukak mata….” Padahal that guy was already awake.

Anyway, his hand started shaking and he kept looking at me.
I quickly called my cousin again as I was at lost at what to do. He did specifically tell me not to wake him up so now that he is awake, I need to know what are the rules and regulations.

My cousin asked if he was calm and he was. Then I asked if I can talk to him but my cousin didn’t think it was a very good idea since he did ask for me before his second operation and if I talked to him he might want to speak and get excited.
Hearing that I bawled again because … well because he asked for me. I should have been there with him, before he went under again but I didn’t know. I really didn’t.
But… seriously, I wouldn’t know if I could be with him if I had known anyway as I don’t think my bosses would like that very much. Sedih kan…

What am I to do ?

Please pray for my, Bab. Please….I thank you in advance.

Mummy's hair

2011-04-17T07:57:00.005+01:00

As a woman whose name is not Anne Hathaway or Audrey Hepburn or even Erra Fazira, I have plenty, plenty of physical flaws. Putting the rest aside, today's tajuk perbincangan is the kerak on my kepala which has been plaguing me ever since as I was a baby.

When I was smaller, whenever my Wan from Perak came over, the first thing she would do was put a pan of coconut milk on the stove and heat it up very slowly until it produces oil, then she would grab me and dekat pintu dapur tu lah grandma would scrape the kerak from her grand daughter's hair with the said oil. And it is "OWWWwwww !!!" okay ? I hated it.

Sadly, Wan's remedy didn't work because the kerak causes me to be inundated with dandruff or kelemumur or ketumbir kata orang dari Seberang pulak. Or maybe I should have menyerah diri aje kat Wan... Agaknya if I weren't so elusive from her grabs, I wouldn't have this problem still. Sigh... the choices one made when one was young.

Anyway, nak dijadikan cerita, since I chanced upon a long gray hair on my head, I have been commissioning my children to do the clearing work. While they were there, they discovered my clusters of keraks and therefore I gave them a Change Order to include scrapping of the keraks in their routine too.

Best kan ?

So almost every night the 2 of them would diligently work on my scalp, armed with a fine tooth comb and baby oil. Sometimes, berdarah-darah jugak kepala aku sampai Kamil kena cekak pinggang and suruh dia orang berhenti. For some reason I do not have the heart to tell them off whenever they yank too hard or the comb dug a tad too deep which drew blood and surprised yelps from me sebab they are very serious about this work. I dunno why.

Anyway, the most fun parts are their reactions which can be sooo funny. Usually that comes from Adik lah, my designated clown.

"You didn't use Head & Shoulder today ke Mummy ?" She asked a few times whenever the white particles are aplenty.

Or,

"Mummy .... you are snowing, Mummy......" whenever she discovered the big mines.

Or just now she exclaimed, "You have brown hair ! I can see brown hair !" And immediately jumped of the chair and ran off to get Kamil, while murmuring, "I have to ask Babah...." face all serious.

I then heard, "Babah, do you like brown hair ?... Because I saw a lot of brown hair on Mummy's hair....." Then she ran back to me, face more relaxed with her thumbs up. "You are lucky Mummy... Babah likes brown hair. I asked him already...."

Heheheheh.............

And then Abang of course tak puas hati, so he said while still behind his book, "You are such a ninny, Adik. Mummy had always have brown hair ! Since she was younger ! Tak tengok ke rambut CT, CY and CA. They all have brown hair ! So Mummy the same aaahh because they all adik beradik !"

Adik only answered with an, "Oh ?"

She is being super cute by wanting to check if Babah is okay with a wife with brown hair. He heh.

What lah you, Adik...

Bibik nak balik

2011-04-16T17:45:00.003+01:00

So, referring to the above title... Bibik ku nak balik.

Actually, she had been asking to go home for quite sometime because her momma is ill. But she couldn't because there were extenuating circumstances that stopped me from sending her home. And the extenuating circumstances are not me yeah, it is her previous employer. Enough said.

Anyway... the way she said it, well ... sounded a bit final. She kept saying that she has to take care of her mom and the tone too sort of hinted that she doesn't intend to come back.

So one day while we were cleaning cabinets, I asked her what are her plans when she returns. She is basically the main bread winner, all her salary has been sent home, her children although some have grown, are in no position to support her or their grandma or their school going siblings.

She sighed and looked worried. She admitted she doesn't know what she will do. I then suggested for her to go home for a month or 2 or 3 even, get her life sorted out then come back. How is she going to eat or even buy medication for her mom if she is out of work ?

She was shocked. She asked if I am willing to wait for her that long and inquired what the arrangements for the children would be like. I told her not to worry about us but herself. I informed her that if she is serious about returning, I will take her in.

She looked relieved and instantly became her cheerful self again. She had been under dark clouds for a few months after she found out about her mom's illness so I was ecstatic to see her so happy.

Then, last month her mood was sombre again. Apalah yang jadi pulak ni. Phonecalls from Indonesia came frequently and once I heard her shouting. My kids confided in me that her youngest son has been bailing out of school and has taken upon himself to quit. Senang aje budak tu. Kalau aku dapat aku cubit.

Then, her eldest son chased the daughter that has been living in her house and taking care of the grandma, out. So now the sick mom is not being taken care of.

Pulak.

Last week she opened her heart out to me and we talked for hours. I really pity her and sangat menyampah dengan anak-anak yang tak reti nak menyenangkan mak sendiri.

Bibik is no super Bibik. Her housekeeping is so-so. Many weekends I would be scrubbing the toilet and the kitchen and a hoard of other stuffs. You know the nitty-gritty of house-cleaning, the corners that needed attention, the cobwebs, the shelves that needed wiping and dusting and the likes.

*Terkedu jap nengok video clip Terpesone Scott Hew (I think his name was ) and Syafinaz.... Aku tak tau nak kata apa...

She successfully bore holes in many, many of Kamil's work shirts. All at the cuffs. She also managed to put a tear on a lot of Kamil's t-shirts. All on the left side. Heran jugak, all Kamil's stuffs and all isolated to a certain areas... Hmmm... Sungguh musykil.

But...

She loves the kids. I saw them in a cuddle numerous times and the first thing they did when they come home from school is calling her and beaming happily at her. She would throw herself in front of them bila aku naik hantu. Everything is, "Salah Bibik ni.... Bukannya salah Abang/Adik." That never works thus she would end up standing worriedly next to me.

She voluntarily makes sure my children perform their 5 times a day.

She is a great cook. I love her masak lemak and ayam hitam. Macam makan kat Sari Ratu.

She is also my adviser. Yang akan bagi nasihat kat aku when she sees I am making a mistake. I value her advise and care. It is like having a second mother.

That is why when I asked her last Monday, "Bibik janji balik sini ya ?", her silence worries me.

"Bagi Bibik tanya budak-budak di kampung dulu ya...." Was her answer after dia termenung.

Oh dear.

18 tahun.....

2011-04-14T00:50:00.003+01:00

So... yesterday *ehem* *ehem* was our 18th Anniversary.

When I tell people that they go, "You have been married that long ?"

He he... no, no. 18 years of being in love... konon... hehehehhe.

Anyway, Kamil wanted to re-visit our courting days. The first thing that came up in our head was of course Subang Parade because that was where spent most of our stolen times together. Stolen sebab mak den tak bagi dating.... hahahahaha....

Subang Parade was the nearest to our homes so... dah stolen times tu tak leh lah pegi jauh-jauh kan. Anyway, we found that it was hard to retraced our younger steps because eventhough Subang Parade is still there, the old Subang Parade we know has sadly gone as all our favourite hangouts are not there anymore.

1. The foodcourt gone - where we used to eat laksa and beefballs soup and huddled close together while eating this smashing ice-kacang underneath the air-cond no less.

2. Strawberry Field - where we once laughed at this young couple (well... younger than us.. we were so smug of being older that time)because the guy was wearing a blazer and tie and the girl in off-shoulder long green dress... a bit too much since we were in shorts and sandals. The nasi goreng belachan there was yummy ! Strawberry Fields are still around, one in Taipan and one in PJ, but the ambiance is not the same anymore.

3. Rasa Utara - dah tutup langsung. Couldn't find it anywhere.

4. McDonald's still there. Dulu when SP still has a wayang, we would sit at McDonald's for hours talking over his Big Mac and my beef burger. I don't like McD so... it's a definite no-no for our trip through Memory Lane.

Apart from SP, we also frequented Atria for nasi goreng belachan at a restaurant I have now forgotten its name. Kamil said, Atria will be demolished to make way for new building soon and the restaurant ? Loooonnngggg gone already.

So... what is left ? Nampak gayanya we have been together so long sampai all our favourite hangouts dah tutup, I told Kamil.

His eyes lit up then he said, "We still have Cable Car...."

Hehehhehe....... That is right. Eventhough it is not at Jaya Sek 14 anymore, eventhough ot has changed its name from Cable Car to Tram Car, but the Aunty is still there and the food still tastes the same.

Well... dulu nasi goreng RM5.90 and now RM 9.90... Inflation happened..... Nevermind.

So there we were last night, over our Nasi Goreng Indonesia which when I ordered Kamil cheerfully chimed in "Two !" at the waitress. But when he had his first bite he exclaimed, "Eh, ini bukan Yong Chow Fried Rice ke ?" I looked at him and he said, "I nak Yong Chow !! You salah order..."

Errm.... hello. I ordered the Indonesian version for me.. so nothing really changed... He still likes to blame me for the littlest of things. Ha ha ! Anyway it was too hot for him and I was having a good time watching him sweat and went red in the face over the heat.

Aunty came to us and asked, "Pak toe ka ? Kici2 tak bawak ?"

"Takdelah Aunty, kita pak toe lah...."

"Bagus... you memang kena pak toe sekali sekala..." Aunty gave her approval.

"Yalah Aunty, nanti dia lari sama perempuan lain...." This one was definitely from me.

Aunty laughed. "Aiyaa.... jangan risau. Dia datang sini selalu dengan kawan-kawan ramai-ramai punya..." while she patted Kamil's back.

"Aunty, ini hari our 18th Anniversary Aunty. Kita 18 years ago pak toe kat sini lah..."

She gasped in delight. "Masa dekat Jaya sana ? Very good, very good....." and she spent some time with us, telling us the history of her restaurant and a bit about her life.

What a night.

Happy Anniversary, darling.

PS : I asked Kamil, can you imagine us still dating now, at this age ? Yes, he quickly answered. Because I will still have all my hair. Hmmm.... is he blaming me for the demise of his hair ?

Sob Sob

2011-04-13T10:05:00.003+01:00

Yesterday I arrived home late so when I saw the kids pitched up their tents on Abang's double bed, I joined them there.

I was soooo sleepy so while we talked, my eyelids threated to close many, many times. Suddenly Abang quickly got up and announced, "Eh ! Saya lupa sembahyang Isyak lah..." and jumped off the bed.

Adik yang I know doesn't mind missing her Isyaks had to get up too. They usually pray at Adik's room so while she struggled to get out of her tent, Abang stood at her doorway watching her.

"Eh, Adik ! No ! No !" he said. Adik stopped with one leg suspended on mid-air.

"Jangan langkah Mummy !" He added with a frown on his face.

Adik said "Oooppppsssss...." and retreated. Kurang asam lah budak ni.

While waiting for them, I dozed off but was woken up when I heard them swicthing off the lights. I didn't open my eyes though.

"Adik... Sssshhhh..... Mummy is sleeping...." he warned and they quietly climbed back on the bed. As they quietly settled themselves, I could feel somebody was moving towards me and then a feather light kiss on my cheeks from Abang.

Sebek Mummy sekejap for some reason.

Then Adik of course followed, kissing my ears while murmuring, "Good night, darling. Sweet dreams....."

Bergenang air mata aku sebab sayang jugak budak2 ni kat mak yang ntah apa2 ni. Mak yang dah jarang masak, dah lama tak bake cookies and who couldn't remember the last time she goofed around with them.

I have such sweet children, I really do.

Mummy loves you, kiddoes. Very, very much.

Ice-cream hunt

2011-04-12T03:42:00.003+01:00

Adik called me last week at the office.

She sighed dramatically and said, “I think my teacher wants me to lose all my teeth, Mummy…”

Pulak dah…

“Yes… sebab teacher asked us to eat 22 (she raised her voice in disbelief kononnya at this point) ice-cream! I think she wants me to muntah (eleh…) and lose my teeth from eating too much ice-cream !”

“Are you telling me, Adik that your teacher gave you an assignment to eat 22 ice-creams ? Really ? You think I was born yesterday ?”

She sighed again, more dramatics this time as I can hear her think, “Boy, this woman is stupid…” and said, “No…. She wants us to bring 22 ice-cream sticks to school ! So I have to eat 22 ice-creams lah !”

Hehheheh…………

“Adik….there is me, and Babah and Abang and all your Mamus and Ciks and Esya and Ana and they will help you eat all those ice-creams. You don’t have to eat all 22 on your own…. Don’t worry….” Saja je aku.

But her, “Oh…” saddens me for some reason. And made me laugh.

Anyway, so that night off we went to search for ice-creams. Babah was shocked that no ice-cream costs less than RM1. We went from one shop to another until I asked him, “You cari ice-cream 20 sen tu ke ? Mana ada dah Kamil oii….. Inflation happened….”

So at the end we spent like RM40 for all 22 sticks of ice-cream.

Ana had one. Esya had 2. Mummy had 2. Babah probably a bit more. The rest was up to Adik and Abang.

So you could imagine my annoyance when yesterday Babah asked her, “So what happened to all your ice-cream sticks ?”

“Ada kat rumah lah….”

“Tak guna ke kat sekolah ?”

“Takkk…. Teacher suruh guna sweets…”

“Sweets ? What for pulak ?” Tinggi suara Kamil.

“Kamil… they are using it for counting… But…. dah beria suruh bawak hari Jumaat, tak guna pun ? Guna sweets pulak ?”

Masa ni Adik shrunk to her seat and I just shook my head. Biar benar cikgu ni…. Or has my daughter pulled the biggest con of the year ?

Hmmmm……………………

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

2011-03-28T14:14:00.001+01:00

Soo….. Merong Mahawangsa…..

Hmmmmmmmm……

Ginilah. I am not going to say I wasted my RM8 per head or I that I wasted my time.
It is actually quite a good effort. I was swelling with pride watching about the history of my people.

Buuuuttttt…. Stephen Rahman tu…. Boleh tak next time somebody else tolong cakap untuk dia. Macam dubbing gitu. Instead of body double we use voice double. Because each time he spoke in Malay, Kamil and I burst out laughing.

Sungguh tak real.

The mamat who acted as orang jahat … Kemawas I think his name was, was superb. His acting was soooo good because I hated him at sight.

And the guy who played the Roman prince, Marcus was gorgeous and such a good actor. I wonder which corner of the earth they korek-ed him from. Well done, mate.

Adik si Nor yang gila nar nak kat Aidil tu got the hero this time and she too is commendable.

It is a good effort. Not quite there yet… but good.

Still quite a room for improvement.

And puh-lease don’t tell me I should try and see if I could do better. I am the audience and you have to win me, no matter if I can direct a movie or not.

Just in case adik-beradik KRU baca lah blog ni.

He heh.

Cuma.... hmmm... for next post...

Aku jua tension dengan Anuar Zain

2011-03-26T02:31:00.003Z

Yesterday... dok boring-boring tang sini I suddenly remembered that this was a good time to catch-up on my blog reading. I haven't been visiting in a long while because of work commitments ... Sometimes I wonder if work is worth it. Not being able to cook for my kiddies as much as before, not being able to sit down and read, not being able to do a lot lah basically...

Melalut tang lain lagi.....

Anyway.. it was this favourite blog of mine that got me into thinking... actually that got me into this mood. This blogger mentioned about her husband that doesn't seem to be aware of her existence and I got so sad because I can so relate to that. Laki yang lebih pentingkan nengok tv dari bini and laki yang lebih suka duduk menyepi dari bercakap dengan aku... And I wonder sometimes, mamat yang dok lena sebelah aku ni... rela ke tidak sebenarnya kawin dengan aku ni ?

And I had always wondered if I ever pushed him towards the kadi and dia sebenarnya tak hingin pun nak together-gether dengan aku.

All the while I was here in Thailand amidst their people who truly, truly LOVE their King.. he only managed one call to me... to rant and rave about our children. Oh yeah another one call to ask why I didn't answer his sms... That was it.

In my head, I was expecting a more lovesick spouse who misses me, as I have been the minute I touched down in Bangkok. One who does not give a damn about the phone bill because all that matters is he has to hear his beloved's voice. And aku being aku has always been very embarrassed about forcing someone to love me... You know... like perigi mencari timba kind of a deal. So if he deosn't want to call... then I won't call because probably he doesn't want to talk to me.

But then again, reading the rest of her entry... she asked if the grass really greener at the other side ? Good point. What if all Malay men are like that ?

Reading her BFF's blog pulak she talked about her aunt who asked, what more do you want ? He comes home every night and a good provider. And if I am not mistaken, the aunt also said, we young people always talk about love loss lah and that kind of malarky.

So mahu tak mahu, I have to agree. It has to be enough. Maybe by coming home is the only way he can show that he knows I existed, then I have to take it.

By God it has to be enough .....

And therefore, I also blame my malancholy ramblings on Anuar Zain. Stop with your Lelaki Ini, please !!!! Konon ! Tipu !!!! Mana ada lelaki camtu...

PS : By now I think you 2 ladies already who u r, so please don't mention about the breadmaker again !!!!

Dekat Pattaya tak ada nasi goreng pattaya

2011-03-25T09:57:00.000Z

So here I am in Pattaya. Well not exactly Pattaya but Sriracha. Pattaya is near, reachable by taxi at RM150 though.

One week already.

My face has started to look very tom yum-y on account of the many, many bowls of the spicy soup I had guzzled.

The meeting just now was surprisingly successful. I took the lead while my boss looked on was scary. I was more worried about him than the customers.

We went around Pattaya last Sunday. As I mentioned before it was RM150 to get there. Damn. But because I was the lead, I took it upon me to pay for the trip.

Pattaya was crowded. Waaayyyy crowded with sunbathers on the very narrow beach on the many, many sunloungers. Jostling for the already crowded space were the traders, selling from pork (and more pork and more on the porcine kind) and clothes and little bunnies in shirts. That one I like. I was contemplating to bring a few home but… well….. I don’t think the hotel would find that very amusing.

There were a few Halal food traders, thank God but the one we went to sold sausages that looked suspiciously un-halal. Ikan, he said. So with Bismillahirrahmannirrahim, Luqman (my team mate) bought 200 gm.

First bite, I knew it was not ikan. But the damn thing was already in my hand and I was chewing it with burgeoning trepidation. Where to spit around this huge crowd ? And do I have to samak-ed my mouth ?

Walking further on spotted another Halal trader selling the same fish-ball sized sausages. Chicken, he said…. and that made more sense than ikan. But come to think of it, maybe the first guy did say chicken. Why would a Thai guy speak Malay ? Right ? Besides ikan and chicken do rhyme…. Hehehehhe.

There was nothing much to see except the bodies on beach and the bodies trawling the market. Oh… but we did see this oh so gorgeous guy selling ice-cream.

He was holding what looked like a basket of Wall’s ice-cream all the while trying to hold back a girl from leaving while the girl giggled shyly.

He was a dream and I looked at Karen and she was wide eyed looking at that delicious contraption we call Ice-cream Man. “Kenapa dia tak nak jual ice-cream dekat kita ?” I asked while Karen said at the very same time, “Mak aiii…. Handsomenya !”

Luqman said, “Kesiannya handsome-handsome jual ice-cream. Kalau kat Malaysia dah jadi Anuar Zain.”

Keh keh.

We saw 1 katoy. Only 1 !!! But then again that was because the taxi driver helpfully identified him. I wouldn’t know he was one until the driver outed him. Thus I wouldn’t know if the beautiful, beautiful ladies I saw were actually … well, ladies.

After that it was work.

And then the clients took us out for dinner at this simply marvelous place called Cabbages and Condoms. They even provided free condoms for us to take home but I was too shy to indulge. Hehehehhe….

Then more work.

And work.

And work.

Sigh…….

Hari yang boring so aku cari pasal

2011-03-09T10:07:00.000Z

I want to write but I dunno what to write about.

Life is biasa aje… nothing special happening, nothing to rant or rave about either… well.. that is the biggest lie if ever there is one. I have tonnes to rant and rave about.. Cuma I ada sedikit malu untuk cerita.

Work… well… is nice. I loooveee my work… Cuma…. Well, there is always a but, kan ?
Health ? So-so. Still fat because can’t use my legs. Still short because ubat bagi tinggi belum siap and bottled lagi. Ubat tahan gila well… because I am afraid the Doc would put me straight in an institution rather than giving me pills.

So you see…. A bit difficult kan ?

In conclusion… it is very clear that I am bored. Untuk sengaja mencari pasal last night I asked my husband if he thinks I am fat.

He gave me a cursory glance and said, “No.”

Please… I begged him. I would really like to know the truth. Sometimes my size 12 (UK size okay… UK size !) trousers rasa longgar and sometimes not. Kembang kempis macam hidung my dad when he is lying.

He looked at me again, steeled himself to say, “Berisi lah…..”

Damn. I of course duly reminded him of my useless leg. Seriously lah.. all this weight came about because of my gammy leg, which is refusing to heal properly I must add. And not that doughnut I ate just now.

Or that hot chocolate with ice (which I tried to persuade my colleagues is different from iced chocolate. One colleague said, “I am not going to ask for hot chocolate with ice, Cik Puan when they already have iced chocolate !”) I had Monday.

Or the roast beef I made yesterday, simply drowning in gravy. How could gravy be fattening ? It is liquid !

To further dip him in hot soup, I asked, “You malu tak nak jalan dengan I ? You slim aje….and you are walking with a fat git…”

“Tak delah…” was the very expected reply.

Boring ! Must add some spice to our conversation so I said, “It’s okay, Kamil. You can tell me the truth… If you malu jalan dengan I because the size of my butt I perfectly understand (at this point he shook his head..) because to tell you the truth, I sometimes malu nak jalan dengan you sebab kepala you licin dan bersinar …..”

Now I get the reaction that I wanted because he narrowed his eyes, lips thin and out came his hand to push my head.

And I laughed as I ducked in victory.

Nice.

Anyway, tadi we went to buy cat food and my husband said, “Ini Moggy punya favourite…”

“Oh really ?” I looked at him skeptically and asked, “He told you ?”

Hehehe... malu pulak dia. Yang best dengan laki aku ni he could be so cute when he is dumbfounded and was trying his darnest to get his bearings again. He was really lost for words this time because he kept going, “Aaa…. Aaa…. Aaa…..”

Then, a lame “Adik you pun bagi kucing dia makan brand ni….”

He he…okay lah, okay lah…. Saja je nak mengusik.

LP

2011-02-27T03:07:00.003Z

So... continuing on my story about my Dad and the things he did to pass the time while driving, remember last time along Federal Highway, just before Motorola where the row of shops are, there was once a furniture store called LP there, as in Lampu and Perabut ?

And they hds this huge LP sign high atop their roof which we can see from afar ? Remember that one ?

Well.. whenever we passed that shop Dad would start to ask what else could LP stands for ? And they must be connected, must have a link the L and the P, just like Lampu and Perabut.

That was fun. The challenge to think of something new was exciting. When Dad first asked, we were shouting the answers but as time passed and we could not think of anything else, everytime we passed by that damn shop we would quiet down and started thinking.

Even now when the shop is already gone, I still try to come up with something new.

Some of the LPs we thought of,

Longkang and Parit

Lantai and Penyapu

Lansuyaq and Pontianak

Lempang and Penampaq

Laut and Pantai

Lepat and Pisang

Laici and Pulasan

Laser and Pistols...

and a hoard of other stuffs that I have forgotten about.

Good huh ?

Can any of youy come up with a new one ? And not just new but a really clever one like my favourite, Lempang and Penampaq.

Down memory lane again

2011-02-24T01:23:00.005Z

So… I watched a bloody good Malay drama on TV9 yesterday.

Sedih tau…. About Abang, Kakak and Adik. Good acting by that girl who sounded stupid talking in Malay who was Adik, Nor Khairiah I think her name is as Kakak and the Abang … well… mamat yang dalam cerita Melayu best masa bulan puasa tu yang si Kamil suka giler tu… Nama cerita I dunno. Sorry….

Anyway… the direction is good le… I like the way that flashbacks were narrated with the help of still photographs. Uber, uber refreshing. Although the cerita is a bit cliché… I mean I know what was going to happen at the end 20 minutes into the story but still… it didn’t make me shudder in geli-ness at all. Amazing ain’t it ?

I sms-ed Kamil and asked him to watch it and as soon as the story ended (like I knew how it would), Kamil called and a wailing me answered. Benci !!!!!!

As soon as I hung up with him, keluar pulak Usrah. You know the Islamic talk show with the ustazah with that amazing voice, mendayu-dayu mengaji. I tell you her mengaji is really mesmerizing.

Anyway, Ustazah for some reason started berpantun (with Kak Pah) and heheheh…………… it reminded me of something that happened dulu-dulu.. which is very typical of me. I am predictable.. I know.

Anyway… ha ha… it reminded me of the time when I started dating Kamil…when … we err….used to berpantun…together-gether.

I know .. It sounded so ludicrous.. I mean we dated in the 90s and not the 40s but berpantun we did last time.

Okay… it started innocently enough. I can think of a pantun really fast. Not because I was clever but just because I was trained by my Dad. My Dad used to force us kids to make up pantuns whenever we were in the car (plus sajak and syair and a hoard of other stuffs, I kid you not… of which I will tell more later…).

Whoever tak dapat buat pantun kena cubit dengan semua orang. Who wants that ? There were 8 of us and to be pinched by 7 people, simultaneously, is horrific, okay.

When any of us couldn’t make up a pantun fast enough, my Dad would shout “Jom cubit dia !!!!!” (gleefully, I must add) and the poor guy would be descended upon all his/her siblings’ outstretched hand, going “Waarrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh !!!” Sound effects mesti ada punya. At times aku rasa my Dad just wanted to main cubot-cubit aje.

All right… not all the times kena cubit…sometimes kena boo or kena gelak berdekah2 tapi when that happened, badan tak sakit.. but hati membara…. Hhehehe… And yang selalu kena were us the big ones… The small ones on account of their age never get to make up pantuns but they get to pinch us… So unfair...

Anyway… I was used to it (plus my dad's method gave me no choice but to be good at it)and I just wanted to test if he can really think on his feet, you know. But… who knew… heheheh…. I mean… I had always loved it… I love pantuns… but it never entered my mind that it could be sooo romantic when I exchanged them with Kamil.

Admittedly he was slow…. Heheheh…. but….he was sweet… making up pantun about my nose (which he called buttony… now sadly he called insignificant…), about my other good points (which had mysteriously vanished from his mind as he could only think about my not so good bits now).. and it was sweet.

It made me giddy for days afterwards… and loose my sleep over as I relieved every word and every tone he used. Sadly I couldn’t even remember what it was now… his pantun that I used to hafal macam hafal sifir…apart from the subject matter. And even that one is a bit hazy.

So… that was that. Kamil and I…. berpantun during our courtship… Kat 7-11 seksyen 6. Me with muka berminyak, and my usual t-shirt and knee-length shorts. Him with his... err.... Dr. Mahathir's specs.... Eh tak lah... I think masa tu he had changed to a more acceptable wire-rimmed glasses.

I think.

Kuang, kuang, kuang.

We go AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW………………………

2011-02-22T09:34:00.001Z

I am away from home again today and I miss my children. Funny how when they are not around all I can think about is how sweet they are….. He heh….

Like when I went to Mom’s house one day and Mom, my sister and I decided to go out in Mom’s car. I was to leave my own car at Mom’s and before we go to our destination, we sent Adik and her cousin E to my house first.

Upon hearing our plan, Adik quickly went inside my car and grabbed E**t, Abang’s toy giraffe before jumping into Tok’s car.

“Yang kau sibuk dengan E**t tu kenapa ?” I asked her because it is Abang’s, not hers.

“Ohh… I know you will be late and nanti Abang will miss E**t……” she said.

Awww………………….. So sweet…so thoughtful. I was soooo touched and vowed not to be too hard on her … which of course was short lived.

And then there was this one time when Kamil and I went to the movies without them. Come 9.30pm, she called me and said, “Mum…mee (I love it when she called me like that… ), saya nak tidur dah…. Good night, darling and please don’t come home late….”
I went awww………… the whole night, relieving her words and her sweet voice over and over again. To Kamil she sms-ed a picture of a person sleeping with a message, “Good night Bah”. Hehehhehehee…

Last weekend Kamil and I went furniture hunting and of course Abang didn’t want to come so it was just the 2 of us plus the little Clown. Her ears were plugged to the earphones, listening to songs but somehow she could hear her father teasing me. Suddenly Kamil received an sms and it was his daughter from the backseat saying, “Abah ni merepek lah”. Hehehhehe….. how cute can she get ?

And on that same trip, Kamil and I found a cute frame with “The princess is asleep. Please do not disturb” written within on a pink background. They also have the same one for the prince in pale blue background and we bought both.

Kamil thought it was a waste to buy that for Abang as Kamil was sure Abang won’t appreciate it but ….. before Abang went to sleep, he grabbed the sign and took it upstairs with him. While he was in the loo, I hung it at his curtain hook. When he saw it, he gave this huge mega-watt smile and went, “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…………………………” proving to me that he is still a baby after all.

Aww………… my babies !!!

Valentine's Day

2011-02-20T13:05:00.003Z

Very funny lah... I still have some of the flu I got from the karaoke session and today I woke up with a new full blown one.

Sakitnya kepala, dengan hidung sumbat and mata berair and been sneezing.

I am in front of my mom right now, writing this while watching her barbecuing succulent chickens. Can't smell much but am inhaling the smoke. Oh.. but I can smell the durian my sister is eating next to me, though. Bosan.

Made cookies for Kamil's niece tadi. And then some for my family plus some cheesecake, leftover from yesterday's tarts.

Oh... last weekend Adik asked me when is Valentine's Day ?

"Valentine's Day tu apa ?"

"Ohh.... it's a day for your boyfriend..." She answered immediately. What ? I asked, saja je. But she got embarrassed pulak and just smiled without answering. I pressed for an answer and finally Abang yang jawab.

"Valentine's Day kan Mummy is a day where couples, adults... like you two have a romantic dinner....Dia orang macam show how much they love each other lah......"

OOOOhhhh.... he he....

"Allah suruh ke kita celebrate Valentine's Day ni sebab I didn't know about this ...."

"Errr.... maybe not lah.... I think people in England lah yang celebrate....."

Heheheh.....

"Oohh... then kalau Allah tak suruh tak payah lah kita celebrate okay ? Kita cuma buat apa yang Allah suruh aje..... Yang Allah tak suruh tak payah lah...."

"Eleh...." sambung Babahnya. "Mummy ngan Abah everyday have dinner together so we celebrate Valentine's Day everyday then....."

Yalah... said Abang and smiled ruefully.

"So... kalau Abah and Mummy keluar Valentine's Day together korang bagilah ? Just the two of us have dinner ?" Kalau depa dah besaq tu mesti kata how contradictory we were.

"No !" Adik answered immediately.

"Adik.... biar lah... Usually Valentine's Day people get babies !!" Abang hissed angrily.

Errrr.......... I think I need to hear the full version of his understanding of Valentine's Day...

Anyway... Kamil tengah tertonggeng-tonggeng barbecuing a huge lobster. Dia bawak satu aje lepas tu tak nak share so my siblings sepakat suruh dia bakar sendiri... Hehehhe... padan muka.

Okay peeps... nak makan.

10 sen

2011-02-19T15:51:00.003Z

Today Kamil's sister ada buat kenduri doa selamat sikit. I promised her tarts so after sending my kids to their teacher, I walked across to get strawberries.

Dodged a few cars, walked on the row of shop's pavement and saw a shiny 10 sen lying on the floor.

I smiled as I walked past it as if I were younger, I would have picked it up and thought how lucky that day was for me.

And aku terus teringat dulu-dulu when the pasar malam at our area was just down the hill from our house. One night mom sent my big brother and I to the pasar malam quite late for something.

Anyway, it was really late as the vendors had started packing and some had already left. As we walked I suddenly stumbled upon a RM 5 note on the floor ! What luck !!! My brother and I were so happy and that started our little escapade to look for money (surely accidentally dropped from somebody's pocket). By 9 pm we would sneak out of the house and begin our mission.

Both of us would walk slowly, heads down carefully scanning the road, pushing the garbage with our feet in hope of exposing any treasures hidden.

We got lucky sometimes, the rest of the times we came back empty handed but it was fun. Sometimes we didn't even find money but stuffs that took our fancy... you know silly stuffs that were valuable to scavenging kids. Sometimes CT would follow us, drinking from her bottle all the while.

When I think about it now... My God how dangerous that was !!!! We were exposed to so much danger, all kinds of it. I am sure up until now Mom doesn't have an inkling of our nightscapades. I am sure she would have had the heebeejeebees if she had known.

Well... it is better if she didn't.

So... that was what the sight of a 10 sen coin reminded me of. It reminded me that I had quite a nice childhood.

Fish and chips and highways and fevers ...

2011-02-11T10:15:00.000Z

Yesterday Ian took us for dinner at a British pub for a lip smacking fish and chips. It was good.

Ian picked me up at my office in Subang, then not 2 minutes after that we were stuck in a massive traffic jam. So he entered Putrajaya, then took the MEX highway, exited at Jalan Tun Razak and we arrived at Kamil’s office like 40 minutes after that.

Amazing isn’t it ?

Anyway the fish was superb. The chips were too good to be true. I had the barramundi which was nice and flaky and yummy.

The ambiance was very pub-like… what with the noise and all …but it is a pub so if you are looking for a more intimate dinner, don’t go. I like it, though.

I am still not well. I think I have the longest coughing bout in history. I have been coughing for almost 2 months now. That is according to my colleagues who apparently have been keeping tabs on my health.

Last week after Adik recovered and I was well enough to go to work, Abang got infected. His is much worse though as we had to rush him to the hospital on account of his high fever and he was getting quite delirious.

He slept with us for 2 nights which was unpleasant what with his girth. Oh yeah… his GP said he has to lose weight the next time he sees him which is next month. But when we weigh him at the hospital, he has put on 2 kg.

Yikes. What am I going to tell the doc ?

I have been having headaches for 2 days straight. Tummy also not very good.

Not a good February at all, is it ?

Ciao !

This is my cry for help....

2011-02-06T03:19:00.003Z

Hai.... aku tension.

Had to lari from my bed sebab dah penuh dengan my admirers.

How lah to rest when all 4 of my kids, the human kind and those that hail from the animal kingdom, pun dok sekali ? Both humanoids dok bergaduh and then bersembang and then dok bergerak2 sampai katil bergoyang2. Tambah lagi pening kepala aku.

Yang the furries pulak dok tenyeh muka depa kat muka aku... I really don't know what they want from me. I mean, in Moggy's case, I am sure the kids can scratch him... but why is he insisting it to be me ? As I am writing this at the dining table, he is sleeping at my feet.

Yang bestnya yesterday morning before Kamil went to work he ordered his son to lift Moggy up to the bed (he can't perform any high jumps nowadays on account of his bad foot kan)because "Moggy tu nak tidur dengan Mummy....". What the.... So I was stuck with him who kept massaging me and sometimes out came his nails.

Adik pulak kept talking. And talking and talking until I had to tell her to stop because my head could not take all the incessant chatter.

Adding to my headache is her obsession with being British. She kept asking for hot tea and speaking in that ridiculous British accent. Her May I's is really getting on my nerve.

"Mummy rasa macam nak mati lah, Dik..." I said wearily.

"Oh... janganlah.... But if you do I just want your purple recipe book because I want to cook like you..."

Ada ke ? Really, dik ? And Abang of course le mengamuk sakan dengar Adik cakap macam tu and then they fought while Nosey meowed and meowed and Moggy purred on my chest.

I think I need to be admitted to the hospital.

The flu

2011-02-05T11:50:00.004Z

I am sooo sick today.

I was sick 2-3 weeks ago. Ubat pun masih ada lagi. And now demam lagi.

Pening kepala.

We planned to go for a picnic yesterday but no go due to my condition. And Adik's. she has high fever too and keep vommitting.

I slept and slept and slept as all my medications induce sleep. For the flu, for the cough and for the fever. I believe my pening kepala now is more because of the many, many and continuous sleep than anything else.

Maybe because I am super stressed out. Usually the body losses it's defenses if you are stresses so that is why I have been sick.

Health is indeed wealth.

Take care.

Stock up on your vitamins to ward of sickness.

Teman Adik makan laksa

2011-01-31T05:15:00.000Z

Saturday Mak Boyot felt like Laksa Assam at Jaya Jusco Mid Valley and she decreed that all her sibling must come too, so there we were the whole lot of us during lunch, humouring her request.

We of course could not just stop merely at lunch so we discussed what could be done afterwards. I suggested watching the Green Hornet but entah macamana we found ourselves at 8.45 pm buying popcorn for Khurafat.

Err…. Entah macamana is a bit tipulah because I was tired of the ding-donging between Green Hornet and Khurafat so I stopped my siblings in front of Memory Lane and asked them to angkat tangan for either choices. Khurafat won by ½ a hand because CT couldn’t choose.

MI was the loudest opposition of Khurafat because he claimed society is unfair to male screamers.

Whatever.

Anyway, I was a bit gung-ho about going to watch cerita hantu. My last one at the movies was with Amelia watching Kuntilanak. It was not a good experience because we covered our eyes with our tudungs and then talked non-stop during the ride home to ease our nerves eventhough we drove separate cars. Ha ha.

Since that was like years ago and I have forgotten how scared I was then, I was a bit more positive about watching Khurafat, even with all the warnings to perempuan mengandung and what nots because MJ who had seen it twice gave a very good review.
So… eventhough I was very clearly reminded of how penakut I am when the film started (I did hide my eyes behind my tudung), I can’t help feeling disappointed with the movie. Granted, it was scary. But … there are these missing links that made it somewhat an unsatisfactory experience. Again I was left with a feeling that this movie was not well thought of.

Like when the hero told his colleague that he and his wife have been ‘disturbed’ by supernatural elements, I expected the friend to be more horrified and inquisitive than that. His calm reaction was ludicrous because if it was me, I would have grilled and grilled my friend for the whole story. This guy didn’t, in fact he just advised his friend not to point fingers without any proof.. if I remember it correctly, of course.

I then couldn’t understand the connection with the cleaner. All it did was to show that this guy is so damn popular sampai makcik cleaner pun is stalking him. Maybe I lost the plot somewhere, I dunno.

Plus the actress who played the wife was a bit too young for the husband. It looked like he married budak lepas SPM aje. Sangat-sangat tak kena.

Or maybe I am not the best person to review this movie because asal malam aje, aku dah start cover mata ngan tudung. Bukannya apa, I kept thinking that since I travel a lot and stay in hotel rooms alone a lot… soo….. heheheheh…… Better not lah kan.

Our mom was not spooked at all. MI said she even asked for more chicken nuggets in the middle of the movie.

Anyway, after ward all 10 of us went for dinner and discussed the movie. Kamil who paid for the tics grumbled that that was the stupidest way to spend his 100 bucks.
We came home late and woke up late. Luckily Amelia came over for a chat at 9.30am or I would have probably stayed in bed until noon. We did have a very, very late lunch… at 5 pm… Hehhehe…. MH is sailing again so I made chocolate cake and cheese tarts as per his request and my sisters made roti jala and mom made sambal sotong and lovely, lovely beef kalian.

So we sat down and be merry again until quite late when MI bade us goodbye to return to his campus and CY started the car to send her husband to catch the plane.

No dinner for us so that was why I ate nasi lemak at 11 am.

Ha ha….

Pasal pasu

2011-01-25T00:19:00.003Z

I dunno why I have been quite melancholy these past few days.

I keep motoring through memory lane and even though I visited many happy memories, I somehow managed to squeeze the element of sorrow in them.

First I thought about my Nyang. Even though they were good memories, visual excerpts that showed how much I was very loved by that woman, I managed to be so darn sad because I suddenly realized I own nothing that she knitted ! Itupun nak sedih ke ? But I am sad..... Sigh.

Today… well yesterday actually I reminded Kamil that we will be celebrating our 19th year together. And today when I woke up, I still thought about it and of course I went cruising through the darn Memory Lane again and stopped at one Anniversary when Kamil surprised me with a bouquet of roses delivered to the office.

The long stem roses came in a very tall glass vase with baby breaths and ferns and a lovely ribbon around the neck. It was gorgeous.

Anyway the vase took its place on my dining console table, collecting dust of course but still I loved looking at it as it reminded me of the jarang-jarang romantic gestures I get from my beloved hubby.

Until one day that is when my siblings helped us to move out and Shera who was helping me to throw out stuffs held the vase and asked if it was going to the bin too. “Kalau you nak buang bagi je lah dekat I… I memang suka pasu ni…." and she said that with her usual enthusiasm and happy grins... Sigh..

And even though I loved the vase and was not intending to throw it out, I didn’t even hesitate before I gave my yes because I love Shera more than I do the vase and when I love somebody, I just want to see them happy.

And her happy grins and her “Yeay !” when she held it and lovingly took home was worth more than a thousand vases. Not even all the Bohemias and the Royal Albert’s in the world.

And when my horrified husband took me aside and asked, "You bagi pasu yang I bagi you kat Shera ?" I shrugged and answered, "Well.... because she wants it..." and my husband let it be like that because he knows how fond I was of her.

So that is why I am so bloody sad today because I thought of her (and it was very much unplanned) and I like wonder, where is that vase ?

Sigh..

My little orange boy

2011-01-24T00:16:00.005Z

My cat is sick.

My orange furball, Moggy has been with the vet for 1 week today.
Last 2 Fridays Kamil informed me of his illness as we arrived home. He went to check on him immediately and when I joined them, Mogster was lying at an odd angle and there were black substance sticking to his rear. It looked like a car had hit his rear end.

I didn’t sleep well that night as I was worried. I was afraid that I would be greeted by his corpse in the morning. But luckily come morning he was already in the kitchen, but he was hiding himself behind a cabinet.

My mom and I (plus my nieces and my kiddies and my sister) took him to the vet but because they were understaffed that Saturday, they asked me to either visit another vet or wait till Monday. They referred me to a vet with X-Ray capabilities but they too were busy. Too busy to schedule him in.

So we had no choice but to wait till Monday which made me fret again.

That afternoon, he hid behind an armchair in the living room.

Then when I was in front of the laptop at the dining table, he brought tears to my eyes because suddenly there he was, out from his hideout… lying next to my chair.

You see Moggy loves me. Before he joins our family, I only have Adik as my stalker. But as soon as Moggie pandai panjat tangga, I have Adik and him trailing behind me. Wherever I go, there they will be.

Once I told Kamil to just wait and see who will be coming through the bedroom door after us. Not even 2 minutes after, Adik came in babbling away. As she talked I could hear a furious jiggling of bells and soon Moggy landed on our bed.

Ha ha.

There was this one time when Kamil and I woke up from our impromptu afternoon nap to be greeted with the sight of Adik squeezed in between us and Moggy at our feet snoring away. When Adik vacated the space, Moggy quickly jumped in and settled in happily.

Every morning his routine would be greeting me as I sit on me morning throne, rubbing himself on me legs so I would fill a bucket with water for him to drink. After his thirst is quenched, he would just sit there while I did my business. Once he came in late and I was already out of the loo, so Kamil said to him, “Moggy lambatlah hari ni… Mummy dah habis mandi dah….” Hehhhhehehehehe…..

And he really could not see me reading the papers or have the laptop in front of me. First, he would sit on the offending item. I would then have to ignore him or if I was in a hurry I had to push him aside. He would then settle near me, meowing once in a while, while I read or tapped the keys.

I would usually use the laptop at the dining table. Ini lepas aku tolak dia tepi. Tak atas laptop, sipi-sipi pun jadilah.....

Ini case bawak diri sebab aku angin, Adik pun angin. Lepas dia kacaunya orang tu baca buku, dia kacau aku pulak.

That was why I was sad to see him on the floor when he hurt his leg and not on top of the dining table as usual. He still has to be with his Mummy…. As near as he could get.

My little boy !!!!

We went to visit him at the vet twice already.

The first time we went, Abang and I meraung bagai because when he saw we were leaving he struggled to get up too to follow us home.

The second time we went as soon as he saw us he meowed and meowed in distress and we collectively agreed that he was actually begging to come home.

Today finally the vet decreed he is well enough to be operated on so he is fasting now and would be cut open late afternoon.

Waaaa !!!!!

He has to be well soon as I miss being stalked by him.

Also damn you orang yang langgar kucing aku !! I hate you !!

Nyang...

2011-01-18T00:41:00.003Z

I dunno why when I was on the john this morning, I suddenly thought of my Nyang. In my head, I saw her on my bed at our old house, knitting. A window was next to her so there was a like an ethereal glow surrounded her , as her 2 needles worked at a furious speed.

I remember the wool being white and I remember huddling next to her, my 6-7 year old self, watching in fascination as shapes formed and tied together.

“Ada orang suruh Nyang buat ni. Alas meja…..” That was how she fed her family after her husband passed away by selling her knittings and cloths. My mother was about 5 then. She never re-married although she was widowed quite young. My mom told me once that she used to chase her suitors away with shoes and brooms if they dare propose !

“Nanti Nyang ajar boleh ?” I asked this much loved lady who taught me to pray by forcing me to emulate her movements and reading the verses out loud. This was also the lady who bought me my first telekung and dressed my head in her scarves. I remember a pink one that is my favourite. I was forever putting it on my head and inhaling her scent that lingered there.

This was also the lady whom I remembered sending me to my kindergarten (funny enough, the kindergarten was on the same row as my house now….. It is no more a kindie though…..) by pushing the bike while I sat happily listening to her chatters for all 30 minutes of the journey. Whenever she is around, Mum had to cancel the school bus.

This is also the lady who fed me Maggie Mee Assam Laksa in front of my mom, as an act of defiance as she is the one who raised my mother so she knows best. Says who Maggie Mee is bad ? Ha ha...

I remember her tipping me RM1 whenever I accompanied her to wait for the bus and who grabbed my brother in the morning, holding him upside down by his ankles, shaking him a bit in her bid to cure him of his bed wetting.

This is also the lady who pretended to be deaf... because she could hear just fine when we gossiped. And this is also the lady who irked my aunt because she can't recognise her but could see that she had put on weight. "Sapa ni ?" she asked. "Ohhh..... Kiah ke ? Gemuk kamu ye....." He heh... Precious.

I also remember that this was the lady who saw my dad sneakily burying our family cat he just ran over. When he came inside, relieved that nobody saw what he did but my Nyang surprised him by asking, “Dah mati ke kucing tu ?” and he had no choice but to confess to my mother.

I also remember her funeral where I was cried non-stop as soon as I yanked the cover and cried even harder when the skin I kissed was cold. I wailed the whole time they bathed her and sat next to her wailing some more while they kapan-ed her body.

It was during her funeral when a second cousin looked at me curiously and asked, “Ini nenek kakak ke ?” I shot daggers at her and shouted “Ini Nyang kita !!”

I also remember that she never got around to teach me how to knit properly eventhough we had plenty of time. She only passed away 4-5 years ago.

And I now realized that I do not own even one of her knittings, not even my mom, the favourite grandchild whom she raised.

And I never realized up until know how much I miss her.

Al-Fatihah to Saenah Bt Naim, my great-grandmother.

Sampai demam

2011-01-15T13:28:00.003Z

Saturday my siblings and I went karaoke-ing dari 8.30 mlm sampai 11-30 mlm. Then we sambung with movie watching Season of the Witch. Pukul 2 pagi baru kami pulang with throat so dry and sore.

Sunday night we gathered again but this time at my mom's for dinner sambil tengok recordings of our antics berhuha-huha macam orang gila. Gelak berdekah-dekah lagi.

When I showed our mom the video clips, I said to her, "Look at your children. What a bad mother you are ..." bertambah lah gelak sampai terbatuk-batuk.

That was why Monday morning on the way to Johor I resigned myself to the coughs. Perils of a good weekend.

Which was also why when my colleague asked me if it was wise for me to eat the ice-cream cone I was holding, I answered with "No no... Am not sick. I was karaoke-ing during the weekend...."

But by Wednesday when I spat out awful, salty green flam in the sink I had to admit to my colleague that she was right after all. But no fear.... am not ill .... just a cough.... as I pushed away the heavy chest and sekejap ada sekejap tak de headache to the back of my mind.

And just now.... when Dessert Rose hugged me and asked if I am having a fever... Well darn it... I am sick.

Then that weekend with my siblings (when I say siblings, I include my hubby and my in-laws too... So there were about 7 of us....)was a smashing success.

We have to do this again, peeps !

Adoi la.....

2011-01-03T09:29:00.004Z

It's been a week into a new school year, and I am still having nightmares about the first day.

It was awful.

First we sent the kids to school.

When sending Adik I had to check her class. Okay, still the same class. Then pujuk dia because 2 of her kawan ketat were changed to other classes. Saw her to her assembly then left as we have a busy day ahead.

I was informed like 4-5 days before school started by my good friend J that the school now doesn't accept cash. We had to prepare money order or postal order for the fees, books and PIBG. 3 separate ones at that. What the ? I try very, very hard to not ever patronise the Post Office but now I had no choice but to. Actually I had a choice. Darling J offered to do it for me. Buuuutttt........ aku asyik terlupa nak pi rumah dia hantaq duit so last-last, had to go on my own.

So next stop Giant. Arrived there 7.45 and already we were no 40 in line. What the ? again. Kamil did not like it one bit so suggested Tesco. I said lets have breakfast first then we check how far the line had gone. He grudgingly agreed and after breakfast I was happy that we are now no 20.

Kamil was but. Let's go to Tesco, he suggested. What ? Really ? I was thinking sama gak nanti. Tesco surely ramai orang gak and I am very sure the drive there would equal the 19 people ahead of us at Giant.

But pegi gak. And I was right. Kat Tesco lagi haru. There were 50 people in front of us.

Then I told him, darling let's go back to Giant. Mana tahu it is already our turn ?

Nope, the big man said. We go to the Pejabat Pos Besar.

What ? Really ? Pejabat Pos Besar actually don't encourage people to use their services. I get the message just by counting the seciput number of parking spaces they offer. But again pi jugak and again I was right because he had to wait in the car while I bravely marched in and met the din inside. There were more people in there and although most counters were open, I had to wait for like 40 people in front of me to be served first.

Again aku pujuk dia pi Giant. I still had the ticket with me.

Buutt.... tak nak. Pi market dulu. Pi bayaq yuran Abang and beli buku sekolah dia dulu then pi Tesco balik. Nope.... still the same.

Pi hospital dulu for an appointment with my torn ligament ortho then Pejabat Pos Besar again. Situation remained unchanged.

Then to Giant where Kamil finally condescended to wait. So we waited. Although our ticket showed we were number 40 in line, but most of the tickets were not used so that sped thing up a bit. But we still had to wait for 1 hour. Finally we had all 3 damn money orders by 2.30 and rushed to Adik's school. I was praying hard that everything written on it was correct as I could not go through all that hassle again.

So... I think I took about 7 queue tickets plus maybe around RM 30 duit minyak. And about 7 hours. I am darn sure kalau we had stick to Giant in the morning.... things would had been ready by 9 am at least.

Men.

PS : Terubat sikit hati aku bila ada lawyer yang nak tulis surat kat sekolah to berletiaq pasai kebodohan money order itu.

Lawyer, dah tulih belum ni ?

Boleh tak jugak hang buat surat Aku Janji ngan Kamil mintak dia tunggu aje in line and toksah pusing2 pi ntah mana2 ?

You guys wanna go WHOA ! kan ?

2010-12-28T01:23:00.011Z

You guys wanted to see my blue toe kan ?

Okay.... get ready....
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EEEUUUWWWWWWW ... kan ? Horrifying isn't it ?

And like this which is the worst view of it, I think.

I still wince whenever I look at this picture. *Shudder*

So for weeks my condition looked like this;

Which is kinda embarrassing. But it was okay. I could manage. Doc wasn't sure I should go to work on account that I looked ridiculous. But I told him my Boss doesn't give a hoot how my legs look like. He cares if I come or not.

So now, after like 5 dressings and about RM 250, it has dried up and Doc said I could leave it exposed to the elements.

Still not very pretty, but much better. Still can't wear shoes yet though.

Maybe......

2010-12-24T05:12:00.004Z

I believe that most wives are haunted by nagging feelings that their husbands do not love them. This feelings could be constant or sporadic or whatever.... you know kadang-kadang, jarang-jarang or banyak-banyak.

The littlest of thing eminated from the husband, be it word, gesture, sigh, grunt.. which probably means nothing could be taken as (or miscontrued as) a sign of disinterest, hate or worse a girlfriend tucked in somewhere.

I know....! How could a woman decipher that from a mere jelingan from sang suami... ? It boggles the mind, doesn't it...? But we just can..., I promise you we really can.

Anyway... me... the champion of this subject matter - I once had a restless night because in the middle of sleep... Kamil... hahahah....(I know it sounds silly now but it was soooo crystal clear at that moment)... who slept while holding my hand suddenly let it go during the night. I was woken up while he did that and afterwards I couldn't sleep a wink because I kept thinking he let my hand go because he has a new girlfriend.... CK and Hjh Esah knows how traumatic this lack of hand holding waktu tiduq could be for me....And how did I put the 2 and 2 together and came out with 6 could not be explained so don't bother asking.

Anyway....I had been feeling so unloved by Kamil eversince my toe became blue because you know he wasn't being very sympathetic to my pain when it happened. He nagged and got angry and was generally being barking mad while I was hopping around with pain.

I suppose the assumption that his love was gone for me at that point was not so silly because he failed to act like a loving husband should... which is meraung macam orang gila tengok aku sakit. Or at least lift me off my feet (my weight doesn't count during moments like this) and rushed me to the hospital where he demanded the doctor to do something quick as he couldn't bear to see the love of his life (aku le tu) in pain.

So... I had been going around these past few weeks quite convinced that he has a girlfriend (which is I assure you the natural progression of this tuduhan melulu...)until ... yesterday morning that is. Yesterday morning I finally took a brave step to get over my iron-o-phobia by ironing my own shirt at the scene of the crime. As I lifted the iron, I suddenly noticed a pair of hands holding the board still.

I looked up at him and he was intently looking at the board, keeping it steady.

"I think we have to buy a better board..." he said while I gawked at him. He stayed during the length of my ironing and carefully lifted my shirt up (from the board le... not off me... itu lain dah....)for me.

And again this morning.. he was hovering near me while I ironed, making sure the board tak buat perangai lagi.

Awww..... you sayang I yek.... Awat tak habaq awai-awai ?

But... hmmm........

Maybe ......... he was doing that not because he cares.... but because he has a hot date today and he doesn't want to be late by sending me to the hospital again.

Hmmm.... possible, possible....

You do the math lah....

2010-12-23T09:18:00.004Z

MALES CONTINUE TO OUTNUMBER FEMALES ! screamed the headline of a famous daily today.

With that, married males... please give a chance to your single and equally virile species to have a mate.

If you pasang 2, there will be 1 more of your friend who must do without.

Okay, to put things into perspective...in Johor apparently there are 112 males to 100females. So.... really if geography is a syarat to marry, 12 men in Johor will be confirmed bachelors.

You get me so far ?

So if one of these men took 2, there will be 13 confirmed bachelors now. So you do the math lah if 10 men pasang 2. Itu baru 2... kalau 3 ? 4 ?

Don't be selfish mates... Have some pity for your friends.

It is all in the math, bro. All in the math.

Stories

2010-12-22T07:02:00.000Z

Funny story

We had just arrived and we were busy unpacking and sorting out things when the room phone rang. Abang was nearest to the phone so we asked him to quickly answer it.

He ran, stopped short, looked frantic then panically yelled, "Which button do I push ?"

Eh ? Oh.... hahahahahah !

"Pick up the receiver, lah !"

Our fault for not having a land line at home. Thus... my son does not know how to operate one.

Sad story

IRM took us a to a nice secluded beach. We had a fun time mucking about. Those that wasn't medically required to keep their toes dry and clean played with the water and those who do (there was only 1 person)had to wobble around looking for a place to sit like an old biddy while worrying about the right big toe penetrated by sand and the left ligament torn ankle ...errrmmm.... tear its ligament further as it was quite a task to walk.

Anyway, we hitched a ride in my brother's van. When we arrived at the hotel, I helped Ana down first as she was sitting on Kamil's lap next to me. As soon as I got out of the car, I reached out for her hand again and as soon as she held mine, she asked me the million dollar question.

"Mummy... saya suka lah Ibu...."

Excuse me ? The little one repeated the same statement.. I heard her just fine the first time but entahlah... reflex I suppose.

"Mana ibu ?" And she had to ask. Mummy had to steel herself from bursting into tears. Just the day before when I checked in the hotel, I bumped into Shera's brother. We talked for awhile and I of course cried a little.

Probably Ana asked because she saw her uncle too and he reminded her of Ibu.

Anyway... my stupid answer to her as she squinted at me was, "Ibu kan duduk dengan Allah sekarang. Allah kan sayang Ibu... so Allah nak Ibu duduk dengan dia.... Ibu kan baik... jadi sebab tu Allah nak Ibu duduk dekat dengan dia....."

"Ibu buat apa dengan Allah ?"

"Allah banyak keje sayang jadi Ibu kena tolong Allah.... Ana duduk dengan Mummy aje okay ? Dengan Ayah, dengan Tok, dengan CT... Nanti bila akhirat karang kita jumpa Ibu balik okay ?"

She nodded and smiled her sweet smile while I cried.

Shera... I pun suka you. You know, Ana is starting kindergarten soon and she had a 1 day kindy trial last Friday. The teachers love her and they complimented on how clever she is.

You are sooo lucky to have a special girl like that praying, loving and thinking about you.

Abang's birthday

2010-12-21T04:50:00.001Z

Today is my firstborn’s birthday. He is 10 ... WAAAAAAAAAA !

My baby.... my baby... Dah besar.

Now I understand my dad, why he always tried his darnest to stop us from growing up.
“MI/CY/CA/MJ jadi baby lah.. toksah besar sampai bila-bila...” he used to say. A lot. And I always rolled my eyes because I hear that countless of times. And I will let out the heaviest of sighs when he added, “Nanti Ayah takde toy...” Aparaa... I’d always thought. Go and buy one lah.....

But now... Sob Sob.. I finally get him because my toy has grown up and doesn’t want to play with me that much anymore.

He doesn’t want to follow me everywhere anymore, unlike his sister. He doesn’t need me to be in front of him that much anymore, like his sister ... and... I saw him rolled his eyes behind my back when I was being silly.

And the thing that hurts the most was he doesn’t share anymore.

On Adik’s birthday we went to Toys R Us as Adik wanted a toy. Aku rasa toys are the most wasteful of purchases. I wasn’t really keen on it but Babah jeling at me so I let it be. I know she would fully utilise an MP3 player or an iPod instead of the Hello Kitty tea set she chose. I was right, she kept on bugging us to let her use our handphones to hear her songs and kept on hogging the car stereo. Dok ulang lagu-lagu dia aje. The Hello Kitty set, although very cute was already relegated to her working station (yes.. she has one) and remained untouched since a day after her birthday.

So coming back to Toys R Us on Adik’s birthday, when Abang wanted a toy too Babah wouldn’t let him without giving any other explanation except “It’s expensive !”. Babah actually had bought the Chelsea jersey and the goalkeeper gloves like he wanted, but Babah didn’t tell him so because he wanted it to be a surprise. Tapi Babah ni tone dia tak kena... he sounded like he was angry.

So my son sebek sat and mula le bergenang ayaq mata and started to walk ahead of us.

Aku ni memang kesian sangat kalau tengok Abang kena marah sebab really... when I sit down and think about it... he is one of the good guys. Sure he can be naughty but overall... he is one great kid.

I caught up with him and as usual asked him what was wrong. But to my surprise ... he said nothing, shook his head and took my arm off his shoulders. I was dumbstruck. Terkejut gila because usually, he would tell me how he feels.

And tengah-tengah Empire shopping mall tu ayaq mata aku pun bergenang jugak. When Kamil caught up with me, he was exasperated to see my tears. “He doesn’t want to tell me anything ! I asked and he doesn’t tell me... He doesn’t talk to me anymore !!!”

Kamil sighed as I looked forlornly at my son’s back. Kamil then said, “Namanya budak laki.... Budak laki memang macam tu lah... mana dia orang bercakap sangat.....” and he left my side to walk with our son. Kamil distracted his attention to some stuffs in the mall and soon he was laughing again. But I still failed to laugh because I am still hurt by his rejection. Of course, aku blame Kamil for being too hard on him sampai dia keraih macam tu.

Mummy’s baby boy... don’t put a wall between us. You are still a baby... and forever you will be my baby... Even when you are 40 you will remain my baby. Don’t grow up too soon as Mummy tak ada orang nak manja nanti, kay ?

Please ?

I love you, hunny bunny.

December 15 was here again...

2010-12-16T16:03:00.003Z

Yesterday was my little girl's birthday.

Awwww......... dah besar anak Mummy ! Sob ! Sob !

She warned us that since it's her birthday, she can do anythings she wants ! Anything, you hear ?

Okay lah.....

"Mummy ? It's my birthday and I am just going to eat the Oreos ! I am not asking for your permission !" Then, yang hang susah payah call nak bagitau aku buat apa ?

"Mummy ? I want to drink the last Vitagen..." Minumlah... it's your birthday kan ? No need my permission, remember ?

Hehehhehe.....

Mummy's little girl dah besar. She is 7 now... Dah pandai cakap, dah pandai mintak birthday cake at the stroke of midnight to Abah's chagrin (actually dari dia kecik dia mintak orang gerak dia pagi-pagi to celebrate her birthday... dia memang kuat berangan) and finally dah tak boleh mintak dukung.

Actually, on her birthday, dia mintak Babah dia dukung and Kamil sakit-sakit belakang pun dukung jugak... Her birthday, kan ? For old times'sake, said Babah.

Happy Birthday, little girl. Mummy is sooo blessed as I am one of the few Mothers whom Allah bestowed a clown to.

Anak-anak

2010-12-12T00:54:00.003Z

Yesterday in the car Abang said, "I wish you are pregnant right now...."

Errrkkk !

"Because I would love to have a baby brother to play with...."

Hmmmm........

"But then... when I think about it... when he is 7, I will be in college already so there's no point ! So better tak payah lah...."

Mummy didn't get to say anything at all... Tak sempat. He made his request, reasoned it out then made his decision all in one breath.

Ha ha.

Teingat kat Ana, whom I like to refer as Wife for Loyal Man only. Once she doesn't trust you, well.... she is gonna make your life very hard indeed.

We first noticed her perangai when one day her Ayah nak keluar rumah, she demanded where he was going. Ayah's "nak jumpa kawan sekajap.." did not satisfy her at all.

"Ayah lama.... ayah tak sekejap...."

"Iya... ayah sekejap aje...."

"Ana ikut...."

"Tak payah lah... Ayah sekejap aje..."

"Ana ikut !!!!" She insisted."And Ayah again said no need.

"No... Ana ikut sebab nanti ayah lama.." and she held on to his trousers.

Abang aku cannot say anything but took her with him. Kami yang dok tengok tahan gelak aje... Jangan lah dok kelentong dia next time kay....

HHheheheheh... padan muko. But the best one happened 2-3 weeks ago.

My brother's boss was involved in an accident. He called my brother requesting for his help and as my brother got ready, Ana was in motion already.

Question of ayah pegi mana was answered. She also said nak ikut but this time ny brother stood his ground as he knows it will be a long and laborious trip.

Ana insisted and ayah explained again.

She crossed her arms in what we thought defeat. But... apparently she is waaay too smart.

"Ayah tangkap gambar. Ana nak tengok betul ke ayah pegi tolong orang accident."

Ha kau... terkedu ayahnya.

Please don't think because she is 4 her request has no standing. Don't think she would have forgotten about it.

Ayah sampai rumah aje, she ran to him and demanded the evidence. Ayah pun keluarkan lah kamera and tunjuk gambaq kereta tu remuk tengah2 jalan.

Baru le dia puas hati.

He heh... Tulah..... You think your daughter is not smart eh ? Nengok muka dia tahu how bijak she is....

Teringat pulak cerita Adik when she was with me at the hospital. She was talking non-stop, talking about one subject after another. The lady who sat near us must have been listening because she remarked, "Pandainya dia bercakap... Macam orang besar..... "

People had always said that about her, since she was about 3 years old ...so aku senyum aje.

Then... "Berapa umur ni ?"

"Tujuh..."

Pastu...

"La.... ingat kan 5 ke.... patut le pandai cakap dah 7 !!"

He heh ! Tak jadi lak aku senyum bangga... Tulah Adik... kecik benar orang ingat 5 tahun !

A day full of kesians..

2010-12-09T13:44:00.002Z

Hari tu my sister asked f I would like to have breakfast together. Then.... I asked her if she would mind singgah KLCC sekejaaaap saja as I have to get the books Kinokuniya reserved for me.

CY came at 12 with our nieces in tow, lepak sekejap tengok tv with Kamil as our other sister CT wanted to join us. CT said to fetch her at 12.30 but knowing CT we only started our journey 12.45. Itupun we had to wait like 15 minutes for her.

Anyway CY in her delicate condition was banned from driving far by my mom so when CT sat in the driving seat, I asked, "Did you invite your mother ?" We are always like that, we always refer to our mom 'your mother' with each other.

CT's eyes went huge and CY gasped. CT said no. She said, "CY lah bagitau sebab she is living with your mother..."

CY gasped again and said "Yeah... but CPK yang ajak... So dia lah yang bagitau mak dia..."

I gasped and said "Well... your mother is always calling you so I expect you to tell her !" while pointing at CT.

The 3 of us can ding dong and ding dong the blame to kingdom come pun would not eliminate the fact that we have forgotten to inform our mother about this trip.

Yikes !!!!!!

So we hatched a plan. She would definitely call one of us from then till we get home so

* CT will not answer the phone at all
* I don't usually answer the phone during the weekend because aku selalu campak handphone aku merata-rata. And Mom would not call Kamil knowing that Kamil was sick
* CY would tell our mom that she and I were in Subang Parade. Subang Parade is not as bad as KLCC

Budak-budak ? CY said we can threaten them with whatever pun kalau Tok tanya they will still tell her the truth, Let us pray, sisters supaya jangan kantoi !

So we went to KLCC. Had lunch and then went to Kinokuniya for books then to the bank to activate my children's accounts.

Why I have to activate their accounts ? Because this oh... clever bank's rule is if one only ever deposit money and make no withdrawal at all, within 6 months one's account will be de-activated.

And what does de-activated mean ? It means one can't deposit (in another term bagi bank) one's money via the machines.

And to activate this Islamic account, one has to re-activate it in KLCC. Then one has to make a withdrawal. Minimum withdrawal RM1. So... I withdrew RM 1 from Abang's account and another RM 1 from Adik's account. I had to fill in 2 withdrawal forms then wait for another 10-15 minutes before they can give me my 2 bucks. CY asked, how long do they need to count 2 ringgit ?"

Good question.

Clever kan ? So brilliant a system it was that I now want to close my accounts and put my money elsewhere.

Anyway, aku tak larat jalan, CY also tak larat jalan lagi so went home. No trips to Zara or M&S or whatever yang ada in KLCC. Rasa rugi sungguh ... heheheh. Before that sempat buat dinner plans dulu. CY being preggers wanted to have dinner at Uptown so takut baby dia meleleh ayaq liuq kami pun okay saja.

I got ready after Maghrib and as I ushered my kids downstairs to wait for them, CY sms-ed to inform that her mother is coming with us and please remember our story.

Hehhehehe..... Haru kan kami ?

Anyway, CY came with only MJ and MI in her car. Apparently they have left their mother with our brother MP because they do not want to ride with MP's girlfriend. Not that we don't like her, we just don't like the fact that our sister Shera is being replaced.

But why they left their mother apparently yelling for them from the top of the stairs was beyond me. Their excuse was if they brought mom along, nanti MP terasa macam kami lari dari girlfriend dia sebab original plan nak pegi2 sama2. Kesian kat MP, kata depa.

Lantak korang le....I am not involved in this crisis, thank Allah for that !

So.... sampai Uptown... order makan.... We again sat in front of this Ah Soo's gerai. When we first sat there we didn't order anything from her, preferring our usual gerais. But we noticed that she wasn't cooking for anybody, so Kamil took pity on her and bungkuih maggi goreng. He then paksa MI makan kat rumah. Tak sedap, kata MI.

This time around, MI pulak kesian kat dia and even though conscious of the fact that her maggi goreng wasn't all that, he ordered meehoon hailam anyway which turned out to be very nice actually. I take it as tanda terima kasih dari Allah sebab kesiankan Ah Soo tu.

Anyway, we talked non-stop and aku yang memang over pergilah bercerita pasal something that happened in KLCC.

"Korang tahu tak tadi masa turun escalator tadi we bumped into this kid, pakai jacket merah macam Michael Jackson, plus with spek itam tenggek atas hidung macam tengah jalan waktu panas terik. Jalan pulak terlompat-lompat macam rapper mana tak tau... I noticed ramai yang tercengang tengok dia and bukannya terkejut dengan kehensemannya yang terlampau ... which I know what he was going for... So aku pun kesian lah kat dia and said to him.."Amboi hai... hensemnya.....". CY muka macam nak terlentang tang tu jugak dengaq aku cakap kuat-kuat lagu tu kat mamat tu......"

Everybody laughed out loud of course and then MI asked, "Kat KLCC ?"

"Ha lah... KLCC lah !"

CY who sat next to mom teruih geleng2 kepala frantically and I realised my mistake a tad too late and looked at my mom who was looking at her food, with a small smile on her face and I stupidly went.."Eh... bukan KLCC lah... Subang Parade....."

Which already sounded soooo damn lame... and then aku pergi mengeruhkan keadaan by saying, "Aku tadi pegi KLCC ngan CT......" which also was not part of the plan.

And berpeluh2 lah kami bertiga .... Ladies ranging from ages of 34 to 27..... because kami dah kantoi ngan mak kami.

Aduhai lah......

Ini pulak balasan Allah sebab Allah kesian kat mak kami yang kena tipu ngan anak2 and because anak-anak pi huha-huha kat KLCC tak bawak dia.

Finding authentic chips

2010-12-07T14:03:00.003Z

This weekend we went to Ikea twice.

Twice !!!

First trip was on Saturday. Not because I think Ikea's stuffs are all that (I happen to think that Ikea is definitely not all that... maybe some that... just not all)but after 1 whole week in PG, eating their very unimaginative and uninspiring food, aku rasa macam naaaakkk sangat makan chips. Not fries, mind you.. but chips... Thick ones like they sell in England.

Okay, you could never find those chips sold in England over here but I reckon the usual thick chips sold at Ikea could just satisfy that kind of hunger. Anyway, it was a huuugggee mistake going there because the place was jam packed !! The lines were like 1km long, I kid you not.

So we dejectedly (I think it was just me... my family didn't give a hoot about chips or fries) troop out of there and Kamil took pity on me, ajak makan Tony Roma's. I am not really a fan of Tony Roma's but thinking surely TR would have served chips,I agreed. However I ended up feeling very much disappointed because I was munching fries. It has slipped my mind that TR is American so they would have correctly served fries. Duh !

Food was not good. I shared with Kamil because TR's servings are humongous. Even their kid's menu pun a bit too much for the kiddies. Well... the sharing is not why the food wasn't good. It was the blah burger and fish and chips that was not seasoned well. Oh yeah, there were no chips with the fish... but fries. They should have changed the name.

Anyway, aku bergolek2 ala-ala Sarimah dalam Ibu Mertuaku malam semalam sambil menyuarakan hasrat nak cuba pi Ikea lagi. Aku rasa Kamil geli gelaman Ya Rabbi nengok aku berguling macam badak sebab he quickly said yes. Hehehheheh.. Trick bagus for future use.

Anyway we went during lunch and again the same scenery greeted us. Aku pun dah fed-up. Kamil said maybe their hot dogs and karipap ada teluq suku kat dalam tu could do it but itupun panjang ! I mean, it is a public holiday during school holiday ! Aren't the masses supposed to balik kampung or pi picnic tang mana-mana ka ?

Jalan-jalan and as I looked forlornly where one of my favourite restaurants Fasta Pasta (they served chips these lovely Australian) used to be, Kamil remarked that "Hey ! It is Nando's now !"

And then his face lit up like he had just had an epiphany and said, "Nando's do chips !"

Hehehhe.... sian mamat ni. Okaylah, jomlah... Nando's pun Nando's lah. Okay... it is not like I don't like Nando's. I do like them as much as the next person buuuttt....... Nando's could be found where I live. Dah mai jauh-jauh, cari parking punya susah.. nak makan kat restaurant yang ada dekat-dekat ngan rumah buat apa ?

But... Alhamdullillah, their chips were good, nice and thick. I ate only half of the chicken as I wanted to make room for the chips.

But still..... hmmm... I need the Ikea chips.. with oily chicken wings (dabbed first with tissue paper to minimise the oil) and if I am lucky and the server tak garang and skema, some nice gravy. Especially memikirkan that I am going back to PG tomorrow and eat the same uninspiring food.

Okay, who wants to take me there as Kamil will be working next weekend ?

Any volunteers ?

Anybody ?

PS : Adik was singing the Jom Heboh song when she stopped to ask the meaning heboh. Err.... like you have a piece of news, then you tell a lot of people about it. Like that lah... answered this mom.

Abang said, "Oh... you mean spread the word ?"

Oh yeah... that is a better explanation.

Malu !!!

Dia buat dah........

2010-12-03T05:24:00.004Z

Does a man know that when he decided to love another, his wife would be hurt ?

And the hurt is not sikit2 punya hurt but father grandfather punya hurt ? Sebab you are suppose to love her. And when you take another wife, it sure does look like you are replacing her. And please, do not even try to liken it to having more than 1 child. The intimacies of husband and wife is far greater and personal than intimicies of parents and children, kay ?

And to add salt to the injury, bila wife put a lot of conditions like a set monthly income, car and the right to keep her money to herself, buleh pulak dia pi kata bini tu busuk hati. Saja je nak demand. What the ... ? Kalau dah sah-sah tak mampu tu toksah le... There is a reason why Allah letakkan syarat lelaki yang berkemampuan saja... And do you actually know the rights of a wife in Islam ? Tempat tinggal, pakaian, kenderaan and help (maid le tu...). So... dah sediakan ke semua tu ? And it doesn't count ye kalau bini tu jugak yang tolong tampung mortgage, car loan and bayar maid. Tong-tong tak kira aaaaa.....

DO you know, oh wise man that when additional wife means additional expense and the original wife does not want to suffer financially just because you want to have a good time ? She must make sure that her needs and rights are protected first before you go and joli katak. Hang dok syok2 berjoli awatlak pulak dia kena reduce her lifestyle just for you to joli ? Joli pulak sengsorang dia tak leh join sekali.

Punyalah dia banyak berkorban for you, surrendering her money to you every month for the sake of the family that you have created together, and while you sat down to watch the telly after hard day's work she can't sit and relax with you but had to go straight to the kitchen for a hard day at there pulak.

While you already well perfumed from your bath, you commented lak how unsightly the looks of her because dia after cooking, busy with the kids so tak sempat mandi and rambut berjeragah.

Cuba ko bayangkan, while you are with your new wife in blissful embrace, she had to mind your 5-6 kids alone and go to sleep alone. You would never ever experience that because pi mana pun, you would always, always have a bed mate. And what about the exposed danger, a woman alone at home with children ? Kalau ada orang masuk rumah, who is there to protect them ? Your family ni tau, aku bukan cakap pasai keluarga orang lain.. keluarga hang ni !

How can a man be sooo selfish ?

If I don't stop now, this could potentially turn to be a 100 pager.

I am so bloody pissed off !!!!!!!

And I cry with you, my dearest friend. Sabaq na.... I really don't want you to cry for him anymore. He doesn't deserve it...

I really don't know the reason for this entry.... Sorry

2010-11-26T10:52:00.005Z

So Thursday my sister took me to the hospital to get my dressing changed. Our nieces came too but not my kids as Kamil's parents took them out for lunch.

I can't sleep the night before because the toe was a bit ngilu (I really do not know what is ngilu in English). And the dreams I had made me restless further. I don't know why my dreams consisted of me eating the toe. *Shudder*

Boss called early morning to ensure I went to get my dressing done. I know he does that because he wants me to be back at the office pronto. My team are already at site and they had to leave their team lead behind.

It is not like I didn't call them for reports and making sure they are on the right track.

Anyway, I went to the hospital anticipating huge pain. I was in a dilemma, trying to figure out the right time to eat the painkillers. If I eat it too early sekali I get to see the doctor like late afternoon ergo there is a chance by that time the painkillers will start wearing off.

If I eat too late, I was afraid that the medication tak sempat kick in.

Decisions, decisions.

We arrived during lunch so nobody was there yet for the afternoon clinic. Not even the doctor, haha.

Went down for lunch and after at length discussing with my sister who happens to be a doctor, swallowed the painkillers.

I was the third patient to be called but I was instructed by the nurse to go straight to procedure room.

I gulped. My sister and my nieces solemnly followed me, knowing that I so dread this moment. A nurse was already waiting there and she immediately grabbed my toe. I winced because I need tender loving care ! No grabbing is allowed. Especially since I was warned beforehand that it will be painful. Be gentle... please.

Luckily my sister stayed next to me and as I voiced out my fears the nurse said, "Mana ada sakit... Tak sakitlah...." and Alhamdullilah, it turned out to be true. No pain ! Apparently somebody invented a gauze that won't stick to the skin, allowing pain free gauze removal ! Which my sister had earlier suspected the hospital would use, it being a huge and expensive hospital and all (very expensive, luckily company cover... ).

But... there is always a but with me... when the nurse tried to clean the wound, it stung quite a bit. Oh yeah, me toe is UGLY ! Not blue anymore but the skin around the nail is gone, so there was an open wound there, all pink. The place where the nail should be was still oozing blood but doc and my sister weren't worried at all about that because they say the wound is clean.

Since I have to go to site on Monday, doc said I have to go to a clinic over there to get my dressing changed and thoughtfully supplied the miracle gauze for me to take home just in case the small clinics don't carry them.

My niece E from the very beginning didn't want to see what was behind the bandage but her sister A was curious and decided to have a look. But as soon as she saw the blood, she ran like hell to join her sister. Hahahahahha....

While the nurse re-bandaged my toe, received a call from Kamil. I am on the way to the hospital, he said. I am sooo sick. That Monday when I had my minor procedure, he actually visisted the ER right after work because he had H1N1 symptoms. 2 of his staffs were confirmed to be infected.

Like I mentioned before, he likes to steal my thunder.

And again when I was at the hospital to change my dressing, he needed the hospital too. Both of us can't be sick ! You know that Monday after my minor procedure, I was in bed with my leg up and he was lying next to me sleeping off the flu medication. Sian anak2 okay. They kept coming to have a look-see at their parents stuck in bed.

Anyway, I said goodbye to my sister and nieces and walked to the ER to get my husband. And there he was groaning in pain and was jabbed at the arse. Ha ha ! Now you know. He would usually scoff at me when I complained about the pain of being jabbed so seeing him rubbing his arse was poetic justice to me.

I am terrible.

Anyway, he still had to drive us home eventhough he was quite woozy. My sister did volunteer to wait for him and then drive us both home but I know he would go crazy thinking about his car being left at the hospital. That scenario is enough to create more agro for him... which will definitely cascade down to me. So tak payahlah Adik ku. Balik ajelah. Biarlah abang ko ni bawak kete balik sebab kang dia tambah pening mikir kete dia kena tinggal kat spital.

Therefore, I sooo didn't get my tender loving care ( I was anticipating being fussed over, him plumping my pillows, catering to my every whims and fancies ) at all as Kamil had it worse. He was vommitting and was gassy and woozy. He slept a lot. I was worried obviously and had to check on him constantly.

Since I still had my senses and he was fast losing his, I had to terkedek-kedek fixed his plate and fed him. When he looked a bit better I just handed him his plate kan, but he shook his head and mintak suap !

Gatal. He is sooo lucky that he is the love of my life. Kalau Adik aku tu agaknya kena pelakung dah kat kepala.

No... That is not true. Actually when my baby brother MJ was suffering from denggue, I drove from my office in KL to the hospital in Shah Alam just to feed him lunch and pat him to sleep before I drove back to KL. Everyday.

I should have been a nurse.

Hmmmm.......

Book reading

2010-11-24T03:37:00.003Z

So what did I do the whole day of yesterday ?

Read.

Have no Astro in my room so could only watch DVDs. But I have exhausted all of them before I was immobilised and there is only so much of Airbender I could take, no matter how much I love it.

So I read. Started with Meg Cabot's Mediator series which was nice. Covered 2 books in like 2 hours. Then started with the Vanished series and I was hooked line and sinker ! It was awesome.

It is about this 16 year old girl who got struck by lightning and suddenly she would know the whereabouts of missing people by looking at their pics. I do find the protagonist a bit rude and very rough but I love the romance Meg Cabot had written for her.

Jess fell in love with a senior from the wrong side of town whom she met in detention. The way she described him was how I would describe the person(s) of my interests when I was just that age.

I could connect with Jess, the way she feels and the way she wondered if this boy shares her feelings.. because I too were like that. So whenever Rob showed any interest, I grinned stupidly like how I grinned stupidly 20 years ago (yikes !)when a boy I liked paid any attention to me no matter how smidgeon. The hearts a flutter, and the euphoria of being noticed just from a smile that he bestowed or if our eyes met, even if it was accidental. Parah kan ?

Aahh.... to be back to those days... the courting and the passing of messages... the "Do you think he likes me ?" and the long hours on the phone with your bestfriend to talk about his hair, and smiles and how he walked and held his files, how he tucked his damn shirt !.... And the heart skipping a beat everytime the damn phone rang ! Or if he stopped to talk to you. Kalau dia ajak pegi library lagi lah, pengsan sekejap (as soon as I reached home of course) before being resuscitated by my bestfriend because we have more urgent to do like choosing an outfit.

Dulu-dulu dating pi library... HAHAHAHAHAH !

So that is why I like that book because it reminds me so much of the delicious yesteryears of being in love.

So now... looking at my husband, softly snoring...flat from his flu medications, I tried picturing him 18 years ago when he was the source of my stupid grins.

Heheh !

WHOA !

2010-11-22T10:50:00.007Z

So this morning I showed my boss my big blue toe.

He went WHOA !

One of my colleagues saw it and he also went WHOA !

I learnt my lesson and did not show it to the rest of the team. Nak jadikan cerita I accidently kicked the biscuit tin under my table and it was soooo bad I had to drive myself to the hospital. Dah lah takde parking dekat emergency. I had to circle twice and took the parking ticket twice jugak.

I had no choice but to park in the basement at the other wing, took the lift up, walked like 2 minutes to the lobby, took the stairs up 1 floor, crossed the bridge, took the lift down and walked to emergency.

The nurse waiting for me at the triage room went WHOA !

Sigh... here we go again.

She called her friend for an opinion and she also went WHOA ! The kind nurse ( the nurse was kind though despite her WHOA ! ) decided that I must be sent straight to an ortho (again !!!) but looking at me wincing she called a doctor and after the doctor also went you know what, jabbed me on my arse again. With painkillers of course.

The pain took a long time to fade. Long time. Anyway, the kind nurse asked if I have any ortho in mind. I said I want the gentlest and kindest ortho the hospital could offer. She laughed. I don't know why as I was serious as hell. I need tender loving care.

The lovely nurse showed me to the receptionist at the doctor's clinic. She went WHOA ! also and I rolled my eyes. I waited like 2 hours before the doctor saw me and his WHOA ! sent me to panic mode.

If the doctor went WHOA ! then I am going SHIT !

He told me that I have to have the toenail removed, he had to clean it up which he called debrifement or something. Sure, whatever but the most important thing is, "Are you going to put me under GA doc as I refused to be pelted with more pain !"

He leaned back for awhile. Not lah GA he said, local is enough. I though am not convinced as I think I need international.

I was sent to x-ray to ascertain if there are any broken bones. Nope. Alhamdullilah to that. But before that, the radiographger went WHOA ! and his was the loudest. Malu tau ! But he was nice and overly polite and so okaylah. Tak jadi nak ketuk kepala dia.

Doc filled up a form and asked me to sign it after he explained what he had written which was the procedures involved. "Doc you forgot to write it will be a painless procedure..." I duly reminded him.

He smiled. I hate the kind of smile he gave. He leaned back again and said that he will numb the area and I will feel pain from the injection. Damn !

I was sent to a procedure room where 4 different nurses came for a peek so I got my 4 WHOA !s. The sight of the blue toe was too much already and when they saw my supported left ankle I had to fib that I torn my ligament during tennis. I mean, I do not want to be the poster girl for Klutz of the Year. And jatuh tangga and having an ironing board collapsing on me was unbelievable enough. So better this way... heheheheheh.

Doc wasn't kidding when he said the injection would be painful as it hurt like a mutha ! Btw, all 4 nurses decided to watch the procedure sampai doc tegur, "Eh, kenapa ramai sangat ni ? You all takde kerja ke ?" They were just curious to see what was hidden underneath the ballooned and blue skin.

Eventhough my toe was numb, I could still feel whatever he was doing. But it didn't hurt. I could feel him godek2 to get my toenail out. Doctor tu pun saja, he kept asking "Sakit tak ?" while making funny faces at me. I told him don't worry Doc, you would know the minute I feel any pain. Then I started screaming. He was doing some sewing as I had quite a tear underneath the nail. HEHEHHEHEHE....... macam budak-budak tapi sakit tau !

The nurses clustering around me were nice. One advised me not to look and she held my hand. She even covered my eyes for me and before she did that she read the Bismillah for me. When the screaming started they chorused, "Sikit aje lagi...Dah, dah ... Okay, okay...."

I felt so well taken care of. By the way, the pressure on the toe was so great, my blood sprayed on the doc's baju. I sempat said sorry but I suspect his "It's okay..." was forced. HEHEHHE.......

So they bandaged me and told me to come in 4 days to get the dressing changed. One helpfully advised before I come to change my dressing, I had better get loaded with painkillers as that would hurt.

Aiiiiii.....

I quickly settled the bill and rushed home because I could feel that the anesthetic was wearing off. So now while I am writing, I have taken the painkillers and please pray that tonight would be a pain free night for me.

Please be careful when you use the ironing board, okay ? This is real advise folks. Don't be like me. It was such a traumatic experience for me that now I have developed a fear of ironing. Sungguh ! Malam semalam Kamil had to iron my baju for me.

Serious.

HEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEH........

My weekend

2010-11-21T06:19:00.003Z

Yesterday I went to watch Harry Potter a deux with Kamil. The kiddos surprisingly didn't want to come. Come to think about it not surprising at all actually as since it was already school holidays, we have taken ot the Wii again so the lure of the games were much greater than Harry.

We arrived at 8.30 and there were only seats on the 11 pm show so what to do ? What to do ? I bought 5 books. I absolutely went crazy at MPH. I grabbed 2 by Meg Cabot (she is sectioned under Teen Readers ! A bit malu dok berebut space with an actual teen but who cares ? Err... I do actually that was why when I saw what I wanted I grabbed and scarpered.. Ha !)

Then Mitch Albom's newest, one of Adrian Mole's diary by Sue Townsend and a spy thriller by that Swedish guy I have forgotten his name. I read about the brilliance of his books years ago but tak terjumpa because I keep forgetting his name. But since Daniel Craig is acting in the movie adaptation teringat pulak title... That is the lure of Daniel Craig. *Swoon*

I already had dinner at home, eating the best ever daging masak kicap paired with sambal ikan bilis kering made by my mom. Kamil prefers eating Mom's food at her home so we went to find a place to fill his belly. So terhencut-hencutlah aku dengan kaki kiri with torn ligament and kaki kanan with hideously blue toe teman Kamil makan pancakes. While he ate, I read and to while away the time he waited for me to read.

The movie was dark. As it should be. It followed the book very well, building up the suspense before the real war that is gonna happen in the next installment. I like it because I am an ardent fan of the book. Kamil I think just endured because kena layan aku kan. But he might be more interested than that because he asked me what is going to happen in the next movie and asked about the characters.

So it was good. Have to wait for the next one lah pulak...

My foot is pulsating with pain. I never had a moment when I can't feel the pain. No amount of pain killers I took could help so am a bit worried. It has been a very uncomfortable and painful 3 days. Plus my toe looked hideous. Simply horrendous. It is completely blue... like the Avatar blue. And there is like a very black ring around the blue toe, macam frame pulak. The nail does look a bit detached so I suppose it is gonna come off soon.

Pagi tadi had a very late breakfast. I had 2 kuih aje but wasn't hungry at lunch. So did Kamil. Atas permintaan ramai I made carbonara. Yuck ! I cannot tahan carbonara anymore but I just made them because my kids missed my cooking.

My new job doesn't allow me the time to take care of my family, what with the travelling and what nots that I have to do when we are in KL again. So Friday I decided to leave early. I started making pasta marinara and the screams of delight my kids gave when they came home from class gladdens my heart and made me sad too.

"Are you making pasta ? I can smell pasta !" Asked my daughter excitedly. Seeing them wolfing down the food was a very poignant moment for me. It shows how much I have been neglecting them. Kesian... Saturday lunch I made pizza which again they wolfed down with gusto.

Well... my kids are not the only casualties of my travelling. It has some effect on Kamil too. 2 weeks ago he ordered Pepperoni pizza for me.

I don't eat that kind of pizza.

And during Raya Korban when his brother's wife made roast lamb, he actually offered some to me.

I do not eat lamb !

And he argued that he has seen me eat them which I find very upsetting because dia nampak bini dia yang mana makan lamb ni ?

Sudah jatuh tangga di timpa...

2010-11-19T02:14:00.003Z

I am at home. It's Friday morning but I am at home. You wouldn't believe me when I tell you why. I didn't believe it myself.

So there I was last night, around 10 pm when Kamil ajak masuk tidur. I saw him inspecting his baju so I offered to iron it for him. So I ironed and then I ironed some more than suddenly the bloody ironing board was falling down and hit me toe.

The toe on the good leg.

And I started jumping because the pain was unbelievable. I still couldn't quite believe it myself. It was beyond excruciating and I started crying. My kids were frantic and being kids, they started crying too. The skin underneath the nail was already blue.

Couldn't sit, couldn't stand, couldn't lie down as nothing I did could make the pain go away. While being assaulted by the pain and Kamil's angry tirade (jantan kan... kalau kita sakit ke apa ke mesti dia marah-marah dulu... more on that later...)I remembered the pain killers that the ortho prescribed for my torn ligament. Took one and tried to sit still. Masa tulah Kamil started using his head instead of his mouth. He filled in a bucket with water and asked me to soak my foot in it.

It numbed the pain somewhat and the pain receded by maybe 20%.

"Why are you guys crying ?" He asked our sobbing children. Because they love their mother lah, no need to ask.

The pain was quite bearable by then so Kamil took me to the hospital. Again. Sigh........

The good doctor was very sympathetic. Btw, Kamil did all the talking. Siap cerita pasal the torn ligament on the other leg. Why must he divulge that particular info aku tak tahu.

Doc injected pain killer on my arse and then said, "Jadi ni sudah jatuh di timpa tangga lah ni ya..."

I said, "No doc, sudah jatuh tangga di timpa ironing board..." Hehhehehehehe... Sempat lak buat lawak.

Anyway the way home was more pleasent for me. The oral pain killer and the one administered on my physiatic area must have kicked in but I must say it was not totally gone. The pain was still there but just more managable.

The pain however didn't get to be managed by moi at all around 1 am when I was rudely woken up by this super humongous pain. It was bad, I started wailing. Kamil said, memang lah just tidur. I happened to be sleeping just now okay but the pain woke me up ! Nak tidur apanya ?

I went down to do something but there was nothing I could do. I mean what could I ? Tried the ice but it made it worse some more. The throbs tu yang aku tak tahan tu. Aku berguling trying to take in the pain, sambil-sambil trying to watch the telly to take my mind off it.

Sambil-sambil tu berzikir minta ampun kat Allah as I have been told over and over again sometimes Allah nak cuci dosa. Apalah dosa aku sampai macam tu sekali sakitnya tapi aku reda. Sebab being manusia I could be rather narcissistic by asking apalah dosa aku.... Hhehehehe....

I went upstairs again and terus teringat air yang ustaz made for me when I moved to the house. He said use the air if ada yang demam or something like that so I took one bottle and poured it on my toe. It was a miracle as I couldn't feel the pain. I really couldn't as long as I kept a steady stream on my toe. So I mixed some of the air in the basin that Kamil made for me earlier and tried soaking the throbbing toe. It worked ! Really it did. I could still feel the throbs but the pain was much, much less. Tapi berapa lama I could sit like that ? Plus, bila air dah makin suam, the magic started wearing off.

I took my foot out and somehow, it was morning. Kamil had left for work and my toe was okay.

It is still very much blue now but I didn't feel anything.

Okay while I am writing this, it is beginning to throb again but nothing I couldn't handle. I have the pain killer ready and they better work longer than 2 hours as I could only take it once a day.

So... dua-dua kaki ada masalah. The torn ligament has not fully healed yet and I have to deal with this one pulak.

Aku geleng kepala. Mak aku geleng kepala. And boss aku so far belum kata apa-apa lagi. Kamil.. well I have heard him membebel already.

I mean, what is up with that ? Masa aku dok terloncat-loncat tu he barraged me with a thousand questions. What happened ? How it happened ? What did you do ? Blah, blah, blah... And then he started saying how the nail would come off later and went on and on and on.

What happened to tender loving care ? Kalau tak pun, meraung macam anak-anak aku sebab punya kesian tengok bini tersayang in pain is better than membebel tak tentu pasal.

So... that is my story.

Teenage Angst

2010-11-16T15:07:00.015Z

One of my favourite bloggers asked me to write about my teenage angst.

I do not know about others, but for me (and my sisters too) I always, always blame my mother for everything.

If a guy I like didn't reciprocate my feelings, I blame my mother for making me ugly. After all I came from her kan ? SO if I am ugly it must be her fault. After all she passed me her jerawat problems didn't she ?

If I felt like I wasn't popular in school, it was because she wouldn't allow me to go out at night like all the popular girls could. Or because she wouldn't buy me cool clothes. Tak habis-habis pakai cullots and bermudas and my rolled up jeans (which my boyfriend si Kamil hated sampai nan la).

If I didn't get good grades, it was Mum's fault because she

a) Didn't send me to my tuition classes so I had to take the bus and because of that I was too tired to concentrate

b)Let my little siblings run riot and therefore the noise they made was a distraction and I could not concentrate (padahal dok busy daydreaming pasal si Kamil...hua hua hua hua)

c) She was too busy with my brother and care more about him so I was busy seething and stewing about it than studying

d) She forced me to take this elective and I have warned her many, many times I could not do it but she wouldn't listen (padahal dia tak cakap apa pun....it was all decided by me)

I believe hormones and stress from school made me like that. I just needed to blame somebody for my problems and she is the closest thing on earth for me to point my finger at. After all, my life depended on her and everything I did was by her laws so if things go wrong, who else to blame ? She was involved in every little details of my life so it made sense to blame her.I wasn't mature enough to look at myself back then. When you are 16-19 you are not calm enough to try rationalise everything. In fact, maturity only knocked on my door yesterday (Kamil would refute that).

Of course those angers were shortlived and when I got back my senses guilt would overwhelm me. But when you are stressed out you just want to shift the blame elsewhere. Itu yang start blaming Mummy for everything under the sun. I would sulk, Mum would ask why and then... big confrontation time. My dad used to call our episodes Small Titan vs Big Titan (Funnily enough I blamed my dad for only a fraction of my problems).

Remember Milli Vanilli's Blame It On The Rain ? Something like that lah. Just want somebody to take the blame as it made life feels a bit better.

And teenage life is very stressful. What could go inside a teenager's mind as she walked from the canteen to her classroom

I don't understand this subject but must pass my flying colours or else I wouldn't get to go to university and thus I wouldn't get to be a doctor... Do I want to be a doctor ? I think ballerina makes more sense because I love those tutus... And then maybe that handsome pengawas would finally notice me.... But then my butt has its own postcode so ada ke tutus yang muat....That is why kot pengawas tu wouldn't even look twice at me.... That damn zit on my nose is getting bigger ! Dare I pop iy ?..Yesterday I saw my bestfriend at the shopping complex with the girl who wanted to steal her and so I am so worried just in case she would stop being my bestfriend...Am I having my period ? Is that why those people are sniggering at me because I have a huge red stain on my back... I think I am going to fail my maths then everybody would laugh at me.... Cikgu just called me stupid in front of everybody tadi. Habislah street cred aku....

Disclaimer : This is just an example. These thoughts never entered the author's mind. Never.

I suppose only moms that are close to their daughters got the brunt of her daughters hormones. You know why ? Because if you are not close to your daughters, too garang and a no nonsense disciplinarian, I do not think your daughters berani nak buat temporary insanity in front of you. Only mak anak with a very ketat bond je experience this kind of thing. People are only brave enough to lash out at people that they are confident of offering them unconditional love. And teenagers are never mature enough to know that stern mothers does not equal bad mothers.

Or you are actually blessed with truly rounded daughters. If that is the case, you are lucky !

Hehhehe.......

I know it doesn't help much. As I really do not know the root cause. But I know this is normal.

You know, before mid-life crisis and menopause, you may have to go through teenage angst first.

Captain Abang

2010-11-15T11:13:00.005Z

Want to relate what happened 2 weekends ago.

Kak Ezza Muffin Biru kawinkah anak. Since I have never been to her house, I tailed kak Kay of Sembang from behind. Alhamdullilah, kak Kay successfully steered me there.

If I were to go on my own, I think I would never get there. Kamil had to work and I have lost the invitation card so I wouldn't even know where to start !

Anyway, had a lovely time meeting Kak Ezza and Bella and the Superwoman. Kak Yatt was there too and I get to jumpa aunty May. Dah lama sangat tak jumpa Aunty May but she still looked the same.

Anyway I had to leave the kenduri early because had to pick up Kamil from work. He tried taking the LRT to work tapi malas nak balik the same way so I had to drive all the way to KL to get him. Dah kat situ terpaksa lah singgah KLCC and dah because we were already there, I was obliged to spend money. Loads of them. So now, I have to dok diam-diam as money has run out. Parah punya shopping.

My story though happened in the car as I tried to leave Kak Ezza's taman.

"Mum... do you know the way ?" Hmmppph... the perils of having school going children are they know and remember your foibles. And mine is bad sense of direction. Abang has been with me for 10 years so he had almost 10 years of being in a car with me. And experienced countless times of us getting lost while I was behind the wheel.

"Can you find your way out ?" He asked again after I ignored his question.

"I hope so..." Was my very sakit hati reply.

Upon arriving at a junction, I decided to take right. Didn't realise it was a tense moment until I heard Abang breathed out heavily as he exclaimed, "Yes ! I remember this house !"

He has no faith in his mother lah.

I took a left next (after almost turning right)and it was a long and winding road. All the way Abang's body was erect as he studied the street ahead. He was ecstatic when he recognised another landmark. "I remember that lampu Mummy ! The stadium lights !"

HEhehhehe.......

Then he saw a signage to our town. "Left ! Left ! You have to turn left !!" I know lah, little boy. I am not that dense. I could read too !

He saw anotehr signage and again he told me where to turn.

"Mummy, luckily I saw all these signs. I can see very well you know because I have big eyes so I can see a lot of things... I notice things faster....."

Sudahlah kau. Dah tulisan besar-besar, aku pun nampak le....

And you know what he told his Babah afterwards ?

"I navigated Mummy to the way home. If not we would have gotten lost...I saw everything and remember the way home..." He was so proud of his navigation skills, I didn't have the heart to whack his head.

Oh...

Please do not bother spending RM 11 to watch Skyline. Trust me, it was crap. Don't. Kamil didn't believe me and he wasted RM 44 for the 4 of us. You could actually judge a movie by its poster. Hmmmmmmmmmmm........

XYZ in a packet

2010-11-11T13:49:00.002Z

The day before yesterday, my team mate bought a huge pack of XYZ (I do not have the courage to put down the name of the junk food kegemaran ramai. Satgi kena saman lak). Teringin pulak walaupun it was not something that I usually take.

Anyway as I reached out for one, my mind travelled back oohhh.....many, many years ago (too malu to actually put down a number)and as I opened the packaging, I inadevertantly let out a laugh.

V, whose XYZ I pau-ed remarked, "She likes to laugh..." and so I have to share just in case his remark meant that he thinks I am cuckoo.

Once upon a time, I was in the car with mom picking up my brother from high school, the same one that I went to 3 years after he did. Anyway it was after hours and mom parked her car in front of the main gate, which very, very typical of Malaysian school, was locked.

Aku seriously tak tau why kat Malaysia ni most schools diharamkan guna main gate. Main gate untuk perhiasan saja.

Getting back to the story, there were 3 Indian girls waiting in front of the gate, sitting on a pavement. I was looking at them, terliuq I must add, eating XYZ. They had packs and packs of them okay.

Mum hardly allowed us the luxury of junk food, so that was why le aku terliuq. So there I was watching them not knowing that my mom was watching them too and was getting angrier and more irritated by the minute.

My mother, people, she wind down her window and to my shock and horror started addressing those girls in a firm motherly tone.

"Kenapa makan benda ni ? Racun tau tak benda-benda ni..." I have heard this lecture so many times before but I was never as mortified as this to hear it !! And I wasn't even at the receiving end ! "Nanti sekolah tak pandai sebab otak dah rosak kena racun. Lagi baik you beli buah makan dari makan ini... Mari sini, you bagi saya. Saya ganti balik you punya duit !"

Can you just imagine the shocked faces of those girls ? I remember one had her mouth hanging open with a hand poised at her mouth just about to shove a piece of XYZ goodness.

My mother had to cajole them again and again to hand over the poisons as she so called and finally, finally those girls did ! I didn't know where to hide. As she collected those stuffs from her, she went on and on about how their parents sent them to school hoping they would do well in and here they are poisoning themselves.

She handed them money and then mercifully my brother arrived.

Gila tak ?

I mean, I wonder why I am crazy ?

hehheheheheheheh....

I am sleepy...

2010-11-10T14:54:00.004Z

Today was a sleepy day at the PG office. Yesterday we checked in the hotel as soon as we arrived but then we just dumped our bags in our respective rooms and quickly head to the office.

So how would I know that when I finally entered my room at 9.30 pm after gruelling, gruelling work and dinner, that the air-cond would be blowing almost hot air. But because I was too bone weary, I ignored it and slept. Entah kenapa around midnight it stopped working all together. I tried ignoring it but it got stuffier and stuffier so I had to call for help.

Dah malam2 cuma ada receptionist and pak guard and after she godek2 a bit I had to call her back 10 minutes after she left my room. Tak jadi pun. It still wouldn't work. I was assigned to a new room with air conditioning that acted as it should but my windows pulak was facing a huge karaoke outlet.

So eventhough now I have a nice cool room, my ears were assaulted with boom boom boom.

So, which is the lesser evil ? Stuffy room or a noisy one ?

Of course today I was like a zombie.

Can't concentrate.

My mind wasn't working. During meeting pun I was quiet. Rest is important, children. Remember that. Get your 8 hours, okay. For your sanity.

Time like this I miss my ex-boss. He would've asked me to catch a few winks to freshen me up. He'd always maintained that unless I spend 10 minutes napping, I would have wasted 2-3 hours being unproductive.

So true. So true.

Yikes ! It is almost 11 so I must turn in now.

If the karaoke people have the decency to tutup kedai by midnight lah.

Yawnnnnnn....

I saw myself in 20 years time

2010-11-06T08:29:00.003Z

Yesterday was Deepavali so Happy Deepavali to those who celebrate it. So it was a holiday and we as usual went to our favourite braksfats haunt to.. well get breakfast ! Ha !

Anyway while we were there, I saw a friend's mom busy tapau-ing food. Looking at the numbers of foam boxes she filled and other stuffs she packed I surmised she was buying for her whole house.

I don't know why the sight of her filled me with pity. Maybe because I always see her alone. Maybe because I see her do that alone almost every week, tapau-ing for her family. When I searched my memory, I remember seeing her with her family only twice. And I once saw her daughter there with her in-laws without this makcik.

Am I going to start deriding my friend ? Scorning and pointing my finger at her for not taking care of her mum ?

Nope. Because I do not know the real story. Because maybe she likes doing it.

My mom loves to menyusahkan diri dia for us. She actually buys my ikan for me. Especially now since I am always out-stationed she would inspect the contents of my freezer and if it is not filled to the brim, she would volunteer herself for the job of replenishing my supplies.

Last week she called to say that she has nasi lemak ready and when I got home, there was sambal sotong and bilis. I mean... why lah ? I could have taken her out for breakfast. Si Kamil pun dia call to mai makan when the man is at work. He called me while I was busy stuffing my face. "You makan nasi lemak kat rumah Mummy ye ?" Malam when he returned home he asked, "So.... Adik makan nasi lemak kat rumah Tok ke ?" heheheheh.. Jealous ke darling ?

The night before she called to say that she made steamboat and announced that she had just plunged the goodies into the hot boiling soup.

What ? Call me before the thing is ready lah. I could have helped you. Pegi beli fishballs ke hapa ke. Ini tidak she called me to just come and eat. Aku rasa kalau aku nganga mulut she would feed me willingly.

And because of that aku kesian. Bersusah payah for her kids. Why ? She wants to feel wanted ? And needed ?

She feels that the only reason we would come home of there are food on the table ? You know while we were there, she made drinks and poured them in our glasses. Layan cucu and menantu makan, topping our bowls and all.

Pernah sekali aku nak test dia. So while eating I told her teringin makan bubur gandum. And bubur gandum appeared on her table the next day. Nasib baik next day kalau dan dan tu jugak aku rasa aku pengsan kot.

HEhehehehehe..........

So... that is why aku kesian dengan makcik tu. Dragging her feet (she was a bit) to do what she knows best, feeding and nurturing her family while they still want her.

Sigh.......

Tactics Adik

2010-11-05T03:26:00.006Z

While I am on the net reading a British daily, lying on my stomach, Adik was (is still is) next to me, her head on my arms as we read together. She would sometimes rubbed her nose on my arms a few times before returning to the screen.

Just like her Babah. He loves to rub his itchy nose on me. Nothing else could take the itch off like my skin. Ha ha.

Anyway, I remember one day this very smart little girl asked me, "Are you happy, Mummy ?" I said yes and, "Because I am the only person in this whole wide world ada little girl nama Adik...."

She beamed with plesure and curiosity. "Why do you say that ?"

"Yelah, there is only one Adik in this whole wide world and I am the lucky one Allah chose to be her mother.... I am sooooo happy because of that..."

And she smiled the whole day.

Anyway last night she called to inform me of her results. About 6 subjects over 90% but then, 70% for Bahasa. I questioned her in a very, very firm tone and she answered with, "Mummy tahu tak dadi ada budak lelaki ni nama A and then dia pukul saya ! Sakit tau ! Sampai saya rasa nak muntah..."

Tactics to deviate my attention from her terrible marks. I just let it slide lah because I was in Johor and I didn't want her to be anxious waiting for my return... or even worse her wishing that I delay my return until I have forgotten all about it!

When she informed her Babah afterwards, she slyly made no mention of her BM. Upon Babah asking, she said, "Ohh.... Tak dapat lagi...."

Hmmmmm.........

SO when I returned home, in front of her Babah I asked for her full results. She blushed and laughed nervously then mumbled and left.

Hai lah.........

Problem lagi

2010-11-03T05:17:00.004Z

This morning a colleague asked whether I am going anywhere nice during this long weekend.

Sedih aku dengar.

I really want to but Kamil ni susah sikit. He doesn't like to travel one thing. The other thing is he is sooooooo busy with work. Especially since he just joined his new outfit.

He would only contemplate about leaving his office at 9pm. Usually he would arrive home about 9.30 to 10. I pity my kids. Evey night they would complain that Babah isn't home. Mak pulak is outstation.

And it is soooo hard to get him. Phone calls are usually unanswered. Sometimes I felt like flinging my phone in frustration.

Of course I would sometime (sometime ? hah !) think that "Is this guy really at work ?" I mean if it is 8pm and you could not answer your phone then do not blame me if I start to be convinced of other unpleasant things.

Okay.. sorry..... Out of topic pulak.

Anyway, Mum planned to go back to Penang for Raya Haji. Excited giler dengar because I love Penang. But then the problem lies with my husband lah if he can take time off. I hope he could because I need a break.

All these traveling and being apart from my family has taken a toll on my mood and body. Mood of course not good and body feels so damn tired. Maybe it is my leg. It is throbbing now. Am very reluctant to take pain killers but who am I trying to kid ?

Anyway, Abang informed me that si Janggut passed away. Hehehhe......... Our cat G gave birth to 5 more kittens about a month ago. 1 died after was run over by a car. Who was the behind the wheels ? It wasn't me so......

2 went missing. I didn't even know who catnapped them or if they became runaways but 1 day I just noticed that I could only see 2.

Now si Janggut took his last breath about late afternoon so now tinggal lah adik dia si Hitam (he is soooooo not black.. It is a mixture of dark brown and black).

I am not going to lie and say that I was ecstatic with their births. 5 ! I of course despaired at the thought of having 8 cats of varying ages and sizes running around the house and desecrating and consecrating it at the same time but I was planning to give them away to respectable and loving homes. I don't want them to go like this !

Tapi G kan has been very unlucky with her babies. Her first birth produced 2 kittens which went missing suddenly. She spent the whole day looking for them, calling them with forlorn meows that broke our hearts. Then she gave birth to N and that was it. Aku yang rasa rugi perut memboyot tak hengat punya sekali keluar 1.

Ini elok2 ada 5 sekali tinggal 1.

Apa lah nasib ko G.

Which reminds me Kamil has to take her to the vet to be spayed. Dah jadi bohsia our street dah minah tu.

Hissshhhh !

Masalah2 aku

2010-11-02T13:24:00.003Z

I am too tired today.

The gammy leg didn't do me any favours as my movements are slow and when I walk in a group I have to drag my feet faster. It is hurting a bit and I of course am imagining the worse.

Staying at a new hotel. Well new in the sense that we are not at our staple hotel. Fully booked that one so we have to stay at a hotel further than the office but swankier.

Swankier pun all of us were given windowless rooms. It is cosy though and a nice change from where we usually stayed. But jauhlah and jalan jam pulak tu.

In terms of Astro, it only provides AXN and Star Movies. And for 2 days when I could finally settle down to watch the telly, they showed Amazing Race. I hate Amazing Race. So... there goes my only way to relax.

Katil kecik. Heheheh.... Everybody complained. Everybody claimed they slept with their feet dangling ergo sleepless night. Since I am vertically challenged, I slept like a baby. HAHHAHHAHAHAH.... The only pro for being short.

Work is hard. Everybody has team mates. I don't. I have to do my work scope alone. Hmmm.... Well my boss lends a hand from time to time but because we have 3 teams (sort of le as aku solo kan)therefore there are 3 objectives so he is a bit stretched.

Oh... bought a few tudungs just now. The kind that my husband doesn't like. I will only wear them when I am here, which is half of the time, so his eyes would not be sore from seeing me in it. Banyak songeh lak mamat tu.

I miss my babies.

And my husband has been neglecting to touch base.

So... aku meroyan.

Oh yeah, I think I chose the wrong combination of outfits for Thursday. They don't look flattering at all. Swithing the Wednesday baju with Thursday seluar didn't work. I did try to find a replacement but this is... well... this is here. Where got baju that is worth my money ?

Don't have.

So tambah aku meroyan.

Speech fits for the Oscars

2010-10-31T11:44:00.003Z

I am so rajin berblogging this weekend. No lah..I have one story that I have to tell before I forget.

About 1.40 on Thursday Abang called excitedly announcing that he got an A for his karangan.

This mother was shocked because his A for Karangan is as rare as the dodo bird. No lah... that is too harsh. As rare as a good Malay movie...Hahahha....

I quickly called Kamil with the news and he too was overwhelmed with disbelief quickly hung up to get the full story from the tembam one.

Then, I got home. He of course was waiting with his papers in hand. With that A for his karangan he officially got As for all his UPSR subjects. I went up to prepare for Maghrib hugging him by the shoulder as he read (yes... you read it right, he read )the whole paper to me....

I bathed and still he read while leaning on the door frame. Luckily when I prayed he waited patiently for me to finish but as soon as I put down my hand after doa, he started again.

Since I injured my leg, I have been praying while sitting on the sofa. So there I was, seated on the sofa, suspecting nothing... when my son suddenly out of the blue delivered his ... err... thank you speech.

"Mummy, I owe all of this to you and Babah (masa ni aku dah start angkat kening in bewilderment dah). I have to thank you and Babah for helping me to succeed... (This time I have resigned to my fate....). You and Babah helped me a lot (masa ni he choked a bit and I... sorry to say wanted to be anywhere than there sebab punya segan tak terkira)and always pushed me so I am very grateful..."

That was the gist of it lah. What was missing was the little golden man, I tell you.

He then quickly left the room as it was clearly an emo time for him. Mummy was thankful for that because she had to be alone and recollect herself. Hehheheheh.....

However, I won't be me if I did not put Kamil in that exact same spot too. Not fair.

So while he was lounging on the bed, willing himself to mandi I decided there will be no time like the present and called for my son.

"Abang... you delivered such a nice speech for me tadi..(masa ni Babahnya dan tegak sikit....)and I think you should do the same for Babah...(masa ni he had started panicking)....."

Anak aku yang aku tak tau lah mai dari mana ni turned to his Babah and summoned all his emotions like he did with me earlier and performed.

Babahnya merah sampai ke telinga !

HAHAHHAHAHAHA !!!!!

Sigh.... manalah hang belajaq nak bagi speech pulak anak ku....Mana ?

PS :

Balik from our lunner (lunch + dinner)he surprised me with his Agama paper pulak. Again he read it to me. While he was reading Adik came and asked "You got an A for Agama too ?" I detected a litlle hint of jealousy there.

When Abang proudly showed his 90% in red ink, she rolled her eyes and mumbled a very insincere "Tahniah, tahniah."

Request from across the causeway

2010-10-31T01:07:00.003+01:00

Ah Zee who is still yet to have a blog requested for carrot cake recipe.

I love carrot cake, having eaten them when I was about 9 at a bestfriend of my mom's. Just for the record, her daughter T pushed me to it, assuring me that carrots and sugar do go well together.

However, my family doesn't share my passion. My son doesn't even like cake. Tak laku so I do not excatly have a trusted recipe. My sister-in-law uses Chef Wan's recipe and it is rather nice. Unfortunatley I do not own a copy so I cannot publish it here.

I do have one that I made once upon a time ago though and it was okay. The recipe didn't have any pineapples in it, but I added some.

So here goes;

Carrot Cake

2 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil (I melted some butter instead.. Finds butter has more oooommpppphhh than mere oil)
4 whole eggs
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarbonate soda
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 cups grated carrots

Mix sugar, oil and eggs. In another bowl, sift flour, salt, baking powder, soda and cinnamon. Add to first mixture and combine well. Add carrots (and pineapples if you are using them) and mix well. Bake at 17g decC for 30 minutes.

Icing

125g butter, softened
8 oz cream cheese
1 lb icing sugar (please lessen the amount of sugar.. 1 pound is too much... )
2 tsp vanilla

Cream butter and cheese. Add sugar and vanilla.

If you decide to try, I hope it turns out well.

Anyway Abang's condition is better this morning. All the rashes are completely gone. Now waiting for his Babah to wake up and take him to the hospital again for a spot of nebulizer.

Adiknya pagi tadi announced to us is a very, very scandalous tone that Abang, "Is playing game with his injected hand !"

At my so ? she sheepishly added, "Can I play the computer ?"

Hampeh betullah budak ni.

Multi-tasking lady at 1 am...

2010-10-30T18:21:00.003+01:00

It is 1 am and Kamil and I just returned from the hospital.

Abang was scratching at 3 pm and by 10 when I thought he was already off to slumberland, he came in to show rashes all over his body. I freaked out. His Babah freaked out more because when he is worried, he nagged. And nagged. And nagged.

Man... I tell you that man can really give it lah.

Went to DEMC. I wasn't happy with that. Would rather SDMC but when a man is in mak ayam mode, don't kacau him.

Chest was tight so the good doctor said the rashes probably stemmed from his asthma. Injected him with medication that made my baby cried. Sedih giler aku when I saw him cried out in pain because all 38 kg of him is mine. Sian dia.....

Doctor said that he was to put under observation. So we settled in for a long night. Adik slept on my arms and Babah slept holding and rubbing his son's arm. Tulah... tadi berleter... risau gak kan...

We are home now. I am blogging and watching the last CD of Criminal Mind Season 5.

Husband the workaholic is downstairs typing away too. But he is more responsible. He is doing work. I though am a mom so I am watching telly, blogging and watching my son like a hawk. Oh, I am adding packing for my trip to that too.

Please pray for my baby's health. I thank you in advance.

Last night in bed

2010-10-28T13:02:00.004+01:00

Last night I arrived home first.

When my husband entered our room, I was already in bed.

He smiled, started unzipping and sat down next to me.

I have unzipped a long time ago.

He leaned over for a kiss and I offered my cheek to him.

He then flipped it open and started typing.

I returned to the screen in front of me and started typing too.

He would sometimes reach out for my hand to squeeze and I would intermittently stroke his cheek.

So there we were, 2 employees of the same conglomerate, in bed with our identical lap tops in front of us, working away at 10 pm.

Darn it. I am sure Dunlopillo didn't mean for its mattress to be used as such. I am sure they were thinking of something a little more on the salacious side. What a waste of springs.

Innalillahi wa innailaihi rojiun....

2010-10-26T05:49:00.006+01:00

Yesterday around 6.05 I received a phone call from IRM. His mom passed away, not 15 minutes before from her illness.

Oh dear.

IRM is one of our dearest and closest friends. Granted we had only known him for 2 years I think but he has become quite an important person in our lives. And my family's.

Balik raya dia ikut. My cousin kawin dia tolong buat kerja kawin. So he is family.

I cannot take the pain away. Nothing can. I know maybe you are bored to hear this, but you have no idea how sorry I am and please, take good care of yourself. Sabar. That is the best and only thing I can offer you.

You want to sit down and cry ? Come.. we can do that.

You don't want to talk about it ? Sure, whatever makes you happy.

Kamil and I talked last night about how we wish we could stay over his house and teman dia. Or attend the funeral today. But I am too busy and Kamil much more than me. He just joined this new outfit last Friday and there is no way he can take leave.

Hmmm....... How our employers dictate our lives kan ? How we must be apologetic to them when something bad happened to us.

How funny.

How sad.

How exasperating is that ?

Al-Fatihah.

PS : On the way home from his house yesterday about half past midnight, Kamil noticed a very thick substance the size of rain drops were on the car screen. He tried water and wipers on it but it somehow made things a bit worse as the scattered droplets spread and smeared all over the screen. After a few attempts then it cleared somewhat.

Then, as we motor on new ones dropped from the sky like it was rain. But it was not rain. It was too thick. Kamil again had to do the multiple water and wipers trick. Then it happened again.

What the hell was on the car ? Or flying overhead us ?

I really do not want to analyse it but gatal nak cakap jugak...

Hmmmm........

Peace out

2010-10-24T10:10:00.002+01:00

This morning went back to Kamil's kampung. His cousin got married. He didn't go though. He had an event at his workplace so I went with his sister.

The food was good and so unexpected. Yelah, they served kari daging and crispy sambal bilis and tempe, pecal.... Not the default nasi briyani with its normal accompaniments. So it was good. When my cousin got married 2 weeks ago too was a surprise. They served gulai nangka and asam pedas.... Hehhe... my children kawin nanti, I am going to serve just that. No nasi briyani malarky.

Aku a bit meroyan today.

An issue that was not properly settled sort of like attacked me today. On the way home I kept thinking about it because I had no closure. How I wish I could just write about it here.

So right now I am lying on my bed and still bloody thinking about it. I can't broach the subject to the reason I am in this state of tension because he is gonna freak out and a fight is the last thing I want. I am tired.

So... my husband is at work. Sigh. Government of Malaysia should make it a crime for employers who force their employees to work on a weekend. When we as a society are slapped with moral issues one after another, Governemnt blame parents, not the cause of the parents to be absent. Which is usually bosses. Errm... the blame is shared equally with adultery I suppose.

Hahaha...

But if they impose such rule, takdelak kedai yang bukak for us to take our kids to. KLCC, One Utama semua tutup.

Maybe because our favourite past times is hanging out at the shopping complexes lah bosses suruh kita kerja weekends. Cuba kalau kita bawak anak2 pi tasik ke, sungai mana-mana, then people in retail can take a rest on weekends too.

Apa aku merepek ni ?

Told you guys aku tengah meroyan kan... Inilah kesannya.

I'd better sign off before I cause a national outcry or a scandal.

Until then...

Hari Sabtu

2010-10-23T09:38:00.004+01:00

Yesterday as we made our way home across the jerebu (it was sooo bad... giler weii)I noticed the red sun.

Terus teringat the first red sun I saw. It was eons ago, our first week in London. We were in a cab, Kamil and I, and I remember we gawked at the very, very red sun.

So of course terus teringat lah kekasih hati yang dah 5 hari tak jumpa.

I miss him. I miss our kids.

I miss home.

It was nice to sleep in his arms again last night. But early morning he left for work. And is not expected to be back before 9 pm. Repeat same thing tomorrow.

I am busy cooking. A friend ordered lasagnas, chicken pies and tarts.

I worry greatly when I calculated the price. I am sorry. I do not get my ingredients cheap. I got them at Tesco and Giant. Actually my sister did. I was away, outstation, so my sister had to the shopping for me.

Anyway, the food was expensive.

Last week, another friend ordered shepard''s pie. Again the cost was high. What with mozarella that I applied liberally on top.Takpelah nak sedap yek.

Next time, when I do this full time and dapat merchan't price (meaning aku beli secara pukal), then it will be cheaper.

Eh,I want to do this full time ?

Anyway, this friend ordered last year and she likes the tarts. She said she wants custard and choc cream. Topping apa I asked. She said, sama lah like last year.

Errr..... I really couldn't remember what I did for her last year so when a friend hulur a tub of blueberry topping, I took it.

Hopefully sedap.

The lasagna is warming in the oven. The tarts in the fridge and the pies are smelling so damn good.

I throw in butter cake for her to rasa.

Hopefully sedap.

Hopefully semua sedap.

Sorry about the harga again.

Merepek session

2010-10-18T06:18:00.005+01:00

Last weekend hari marah...

Feels a bit juvenile for having that breakdown....

Today is hari tension.

Because at site again. For a week again. Next week dok diam-diam for a week before mobilising to site again. For 2 weeks again. Oh, weekends at home of course as usual.

Then I have one review which I know not the location. Hopefully it is KL.

That is 2 weeks. So again, I am hoping it will be in KL or kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya.

Then, Thailand.

So.... if I count, at least 10 nights a month I am away from my family.

10 nights a month.

That sounds a lot.

So I have only 20 nights a month cozying up to my husband and tucking my children into bed.

Yesterday my kiddies and I had a little bedtime chat. Adik asked why must I go again. I simply said because if I don't then she can't attend her tennis lessons and arts classes that she loves.

But... are those classes more important than having me around ? Okaylah, memanglah it is just not those classes in jeaopardy if I decide to quit (which I would never especially since they just confirmed me last Monday, ha !)but, would it be soooo bad if I stay home ? Financially speaking, of course.

Ini my boss suruh ambik MBA. Not for him he said, but for me. For my future.

Hmmmm............ Just thinking about it makes me feel tired.

Speaking of tired, he asked me just now if I am okay. He said, my body language screams tiredness. Really ? I thought I am robust and energetic... Chewah ! Hheheheh...

Anyway, berbalik kepada topik asal, I think I should aim to get back into operation. Not now. Give me 2-3 years here then maybe I will be ready for operations. Budak-budak pun dah besar and I believe they actually need me more then... for supervision.

Actually when our kids dah besar2 lagilah we need to diligently pick them up from school and send them everywhere to keep tabs on them. A bit draconian perhaps ? Too controlling you think ? I don't care. I need to take care of my kiddies.

Nak pegi dating ? Okay, Mummy can hantar. Before that give me her/his mom's phone number first.

What ? His/her mom tak tahu ? Then, let's not do this yet.

Saw a lot of benda bukan-bukan. Akhlak budak2 sekarang I mean. I cannot let them go free.

So.... sapa-sapa nak bagi I kerja yang tak banyak travel ? Not now... lagi 5 tahun...

Anyone ?

Hai Mum

Update

Misteri rumah buruk

Berita terkini hari ini

Lake Garden

How your father met me

Not interesting entry...

Balanced reporting

Me, control freak ? Really ?

Masalah bila umur dah lanjut

Busy nya...

Perihal gajah dalam bilik....

Ada ikan pun payah....

Sejak malam Khamis aku di sini

Quick updates

Sigh

Penat weii...............

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha.

Nak kata Green Lantern... I don't think so........

Merepek di kala demam

It's Friday...

Emo lepas kena rompak

Weekend

Cerita bodoh bulan posa

Merepek di kala pening

Raya do

Cerita pendek hari raya... cerita panjang.. Sat na....

Today's ramblings

Merepek lagi..

Aku demam pulak

Untuk raya... sekejaaaappppp aje...

How to review reports

Merepek bulan Ramadhan

Sedih raya dah mula

Kisah aku kat sinun........

Aku dah tua agaknya... cepat terharu....

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan...

Hmmmmmmmm.............

Dapat balik blog aku ? Yippee !

Just wanna say hi...

My weekend

Dah lama tak tulih pasai my boring weekend

Hmmm...............

Why

Hari ini

Merepek galore

My Bab

Mummy's hair

Bibik nak balik

18 tahun.....

*Sob* *Sob*

Ice-cream hunt

Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

Aku jua tension dengan Anuar Zain

Dekat Pattaya tak ada nasi goreng pattaya

Hari yang boring so aku cari pasal

LP

Down memory lane again

We go AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW………………………

Valentine's Day

10 sen

Fish and chips and highways and fevers ...

This is my cry for help....

The flu

Teman Adik makan laksa

Pasal pasu

My little orange boy

Nyang...

Sampai demam

Adoi la.....

You guys wanna go WHOA ! kan ?

Maybe......

You do the math lah....

Stories

Abang's birthday

December 15 was here again...

Anak-anak

A day full of kesians..

Finding authentic chips

Dia buat dah........

Sob Sob