Valentine's Day

Very funny lah... I still have some of the flu I got from the karaoke session and today I woke up with a new full blown one.

Sakitnya kepala, dengan hidung sumbat and mata berair and been sneezing.

I am in front of my mom right now, writing this while watching her barbecuing succulent chickens. Can't smell much but am inhaling the smoke. Oh.. but I can smell the durian my sister is eating next to me, though. Bosan.

Made cookies for Kamil's niece tadi. And then some for my family plus some cheesecake, leftover from yesterday's tarts.

Oh... last weekend Adik asked me when is Valentine's Day ?

"Valentine's Day tu apa ?"

"Ohh.... it's a day for your boyfriend..." She answered immediately. What ? I asked, saja je. But she got embarrassed pulak and just smiled without answering. I pressed for an answer and finally Abang yang jawab.

"Valentine's Day kan Mummy is a day where couples, adults... like you two have a romantic dinner....Dia orang macam show how much they love each other lah......"

OOOOhhhh.... he he....

"Allah suruh ke kita celebrate Valentine's Day ni sebab I didn't know about this ...."

"Errr.... maybe not lah.... I think people in England lah yang celebrate....."

Heheheh.....

"Oohh... then kalau Allah tak suruh tak payah lah kita celebrate okay ? Kita cuma buat apa yang Allah suruh aje..... Yang Allah tak suruh tak payah lah...."

"Eleh...." sambung Babahnya. "Mummy ngan Abah everyday have dinner together so we celebrate Valentine's Day everyday then....."

Yalah... said Abang and smiled ruefully.

"So... kalau Abah and Mummy keluar Valentine's Day together korang bagilah ? Just the two of us have dinner ?" Kalau depa dah besaq tu mesti kata how contradictory we were.

"No !" Adik answered immediately.

"Adik.... biar lah... Usually Valentine's Day people get babies !!" Abang hissed angrily.

Errrr.......... I think I need to hear the full version of his understanding of Valentine's Day...

Anyway... Kamil tengah tertonggeng-tonggeng barbecuing a huge lobster. Dia bawak satu aje lepas tu tak nak share so my siblings sepakat suruh dia bakar sendiri... Hehehhe... padan muka.

Okay peeps... nak makan.

10 sen

Today Kamil's sister ada buat kenduri doa selamat sikit. I promised her tarts so after sending my kids to their teacher, I walked across to get strawberries.

Dodged a few cars, walked on the row of shop's pavement and saw a shiny 10 sen lying on the floor.

I smiled as I walked past it as if I were younger, I would have picked it up and thought how lucky that day was for me.

And aku terus teringat dulu-dulu when the pasar malam at our area was just down the hill from our house. One night mom sent my big brother and I to the pasar malam quite late for something.

Anyway, it was really late as the vendors had started packing and some had already left. As we walked I suddenly stumbled upon a RM 5 note on the floor ! What luck !!! My brother and I were so happy and that started our little escapade to look for money (surely accidentally dropped from somebody's pocket). By 9 pm we would sneak out of the house and begin our mission.

Both of us would walk slowly, heads down carefully scanning the road, pushing the garbage with our feet in hope of exposing any treasures hidden.

We got lucky sometimes, the rest of the times we came back empty handed but it was fun. Sometimes we didn't even find money but stuffs that took our fancy... you know silly stuffs that were valuable to scavenging kids. Sometimes CT would follow us, drinking from her bottle all the while.

When I think about it now... My God how dangerous that was !!!! We were exposed to so much danger, all kinds of it. I am sure up until now Mom doesn't have an inkling of our nightscapades. I am sure she would have had the heebeejeebees if she had known.

Well... it is better if she didn't.

So... that was what the sight of a 10 sen coin reminded me of. It reminded me that I had quite a nice childhood.

Fish and chips and highways and fevers ...

Yesterday Ian took us for dinner at a British pub for a lip smacking fish and chips. It was good.

Ian picked me up at my office in Subang, then not 2 minutes after that we were stuck in a massive traffic jam. So he entered Putrajaya, then took the MEX highway, exited at Jalan Tun Razak and we arrived at Kamil’s office like 40 minutes after that.

Amazing isn’t it ?

Anyway the fish was superb. The chips were too good to be true. I had the barramundi which was nice and flaky and yummy.

The ambiance was very pub-like… what with the noise and all …but it is a pub so if you are looking for a more intimate dinner, don’t go. I like it, though.

I am still not well. I think I have the longest coughing bout in history. I have been coughing for almost 2 months now. That is according to my colleagues who apparently have been keeping tabs on my health.

Last week after Adik recovered and I was well enough to go to work, Abang got infected. His is much worse though as we had to rush him to the hospital on account of his high fever and he was getting quite delirious.

He slept with us for 2 nights which was unpleasant what with his girth. Oh yeah… his GP said he has to lose weight the next time he sees him which is next month. But when we weigh him at the hospital, he has put on 2 kg.

Yikes. What am I going to tell the doc ?

I have been having headaches for 2 days straight. Tummy also not very good.

Not a good February at all, is it ?

Ciao !

This is my cry for help....

Hai.... aku tension.

Had to lari from my bed sebab dah penuh dengan my admirers.

How lah to rest when all 4 of my kids, the human kind and those that hail from the animal kingdom, pun dok sekali ? Both humanoids dok bergaduh and then bersembang and then dok bergerak2 sampai katil bergoyang2. Tambah lagi pening kepala aku.

Yang the furries pulak dok tenyeh muka depa kat muka aku... I really don't know what they want from me. I mean, in Moggy's case, I am sure the kids can scratch him... but why is he insisting it to be me ? As I am writing this at the dining table, he is sleeping at my feet.

Yang bestnya yesterday morning before Kamil went to work he ordered his son to lift Moggy up to the bed (he can't perform any high jumps nowadays on account of his bad foot kan)because "Moggy tu nak tidur dengan Mummy....". What the.... So I was stuck with him who kept massaging me and sometimes out came his nails.

Adik pulak kept talking. And talking and talking until I had to tell her to stop because my head could not take all the incessant chatter.

Adding to my headache is her obsession with being British. She kept asking for hot tea and speaking in that ridiculous British accent. Her May I's is really getting on my nerve.

"Mummy rasa macam nak mati lah, Dik..." I said wearily.

"Oh... janganlah.... But if you do I just want your purple recipe book because I want to cook like you..."

Ada ke ? Really, dik ? And Abang of course le mengamuk sakan dengar Adik cakap macam tu and then they fought while Nosey meowed and meowed and Moggy purred on my chest.

I think I need to be admitted to the hospital.

The flu

I am sooo sick today.

I was sick 2-3 weeks ago. Ubat pun masih ada lagi. And now demam lagi.

Pening kepala.

We planned to go for a picnic yesterday but no go due to my condition. And Adik's. she has high fever too and keep vommitting.

I slept and slept and slept as all my medications induce sleep. For the flu, for the cough and for the fever. I believe my pening kepala now is more because of the many, many and continuous sleep than anything else.

Maybe because I am super stressed out. Usually the body losses it's defenses if you are stresses so that is why I have been sick.

Health is indeed wealth.

Take care.

Stock up on your vitamins to ward of sickness.

Teman Adik makan laksa

Saturday Mak Boyot felt like Laksa Assam at Jaya Jusco Mid Valley and she decreed that all her sibling must come too, so there we were the whole lot of us during lunch, humouring her request.

We of course could not just stop merely at lunch so we discussed what could be done afterwards. I suggested watching the Green Hornet but entah macamana we found ourselves at 8.45 pm buying popcorn for Khurafat.

Err…. Entah macamana is a bit tipulah because I was tired of the ding-donging between Green Hornet and Khurafat so I stopped my siblings in front of Memory Lane and asked them to angkat tangan for either choices. Khurafat won by ½ a hand because CT couldn’t choose.

MI was the loudest opposition of Khurafat because he claimed society is unfair to male screamers.

Whatever.

Anyway, I was a bit gung-ho about going to watch cerita hantu. My last one at the movies was with Amelia watching Kuntilanak. It was not a good experience because we covered our eyes with our tudungs and then talked non-stop during the ride home to ease our nerves eventhough we drove separate cars. Ha ha.

Since that was like years ago and I have forgotten how scared I was then, I was a bit more positive about watching Khurafat, even with all the warnings to perempuan mengandung and what nots because MJ who had seen it twice gave a very good review.
So… eventhough I was very clearly reminded of how penakut I am when the film started (I did hide my eyes behind my tudung), I can’t help feeling disappointed with the movie. Granted, it was scary. But … there are these missing links that made it somewhat an unsatisfactory experience. Again I was left with a feeling that this movie was not well thought of.

Like when the hero told his colleague that he and his wife have been ‘disturbed’ by supernatural elements, I expected the friend to be more horrified and inquisitive than that. His calm reaction was ludicrous because if it was me, I would have grilled and grilled my friend for the whole story. This guy didn’t, in fact he just advised his friend not to point fingers without any proof.. if I remember it correctly, of course.

I then couldn’t understand the connection with the cleaner. All it did was to show that this guy is so damn popular sampai makcik cleaner pun is stalking him. Maybe I lost the plot somewhere, I dunno.

Plus the actress who played the wife was a bit too young for the husband. It looked like he married budak lepas SPM aje. Sangat-sangat tak kena.

Or maybe I am not the best person to review this movie because asal malam aje, aku dah start cover mata ngan tudung. Bukannya apa, I kept thinking that since I travel a lot and stay in hotel rooms alone a lot… soo….. heheheheh…… Better not lah kan.

Our mom was not spooked at all. MI said she even asked for more chicken nuggets in the middle of the movie.

Anyway, after ward all 10 of us went for dinner and discussed the movie. Kamil who paid for the tics grumbled that that was the stupidest way to spend his 100 bucks.
We came home late and woke up late. Luckily Amelia came over for a chat at 9.30am or I would have probably stayed in bed until noon. We did have a very, very late lunch… at 5 pm… Hehhehe…. MH is sailing again so I made chocolate cake and cheese tarts as per his request and my sisters made roti jala and mom made sambal sotong and lovely, lovely beef kalian.

So we sat down and be merry again until quite late when MI bade us goodbye to return to his campus and CY started the car to send her husband to catch the plane.

No dinner for us so that was why I ate nasi lemak at 11 am.

Ha ha….

Pasal pasu

I dunno why I have been quite melancholy these past few days.

I keep motoring through memory lane and even though I visited many happy memories, I somehow managed to squeeze the element of sorrow in them.

First I thought about my Nyang. Even though they were good memories, visual excerpts that showed how much I was very loved by that woman, I managed to be so darn sad because I suddenly realized I own nothing that she knitted ! Itupun nak sedih ke ? But I am sad..... Sigh.

Today… well yesterday actually I reminded Kamil that we will be celebrating our 19th year together. And today when I woke up, I still thought about it and of course I went cruising through the darn Memory Lane again and stopped at one Anniversary when Kamil surprised me with a bouquet of roses delivered to the office.

The long stem roses came in a very tall glass vase with baby breaths and ferns and a lovely ribbon around the neck. It was gorgeous.

Anyway the vase took its place on my dining console table, collecting dust of course but still I loved looking at it as it reminded me of the jarang-jarang romantic gestures I get from my beloved hubby.

Until one day that is when my siblings helped us to move out and Shera who was helping me to throw out stuffs held the vase and asked if it was going to the bin too. “Kalau you nak buang bagi je lah dekat I… I memang suka pasu ni…." and she said that with her usual enthusiasm and happy grins... Sigh..

And even though I loved the vase and was not intending to throw it out, I didn’t even hesitate before I gave my yes because I love Shera more than I do the vase and when I love somebody, I just want to see them happy.

And her happy grins and her “Yeay !” when she held it and lovingly took home was worth more than a thousand vases. Not even all the Bohemias and the Royal Albert’s in the world.

And when my horrified husband took me aside and asked, "You bagi pasu yang I bagi you kat Shera ?" I shrugged and answered, "Well.... because she wants it..." and my husband let it be like that because he knows how fond I was of her.

So that is why I am so bloody sad today because I thought of her (and it was very much unplanned) and I like wonder, where is that vase ?

Sigh..

My little orange boy

My cat is sick.

My orange furball, Moggy has been with the vet for 1 week today.
Last 2 Fridays Kamil informed me of his illness as we arrived home. He went to check on him immediately and when I joined them, Mogster was lying at an odd angle and there were black substance sticking to his rear. It looked like a car had hit his rear end.

I didn’t sleep well that night as I was worried. I was afraid that I would be greeted by his corpse in the morning. But luckily come morning he was already in the kitchen, but he was hiding himself behind a cabinet.

My mom and I (plus my nieces and my kiddies and my sister) took him to the vet but because they were understaffed that Saturday, they asked me to either visit another vet or wait till Monday. They referred me to a vet with X-Ray capabilities but they too were busy. Too busy to schedule him in.

So we had no choice but to wait till Monday which made me fret again.

That afternoon, he hid behind an armchair in the living room.

Then when I was in front of the laptop at the dining table, he brought tears to my eyes because suddenly there he was, out from his hideout… lying next to my chair.

You see Moggy loves me. Before he joins our family, I only have Adik as my stalker. But as soon as Moggie pandai panjat tangga, I have Adik and him trailing behind me. Wherever I go, there they will be.

Once I told Kamil to just wait and see who will be coming through the bedroom door after us. Not even 2 minutes after, Adik came in babbling away. As she talked I could hear a furious jiggling of bells and soon Moggy landed on our bed.

Ha ha.

There was this one time when Kamil and I woke up from our impromptu afternoon nap to be greeted with the sight of Adik squeezed in between us and Moggy at our feet snoring away. When Adik vacated the space, Moggy quickly jumped in and settled in happily.

Every morning his routine would be greeting me as I sit on me morning throne, rubbing himself on me legs so I would fill a bucket with water for him to drink. After his thirst is quenched, he would just sit there while I did my business. Once he came in late and I was already out of the loo, so Kamil said to him, “Moggy lambatlah hari ni… Mummy dah habis mandi dah….” Hehhhhehehehehe…..

And he really could not see me reading the papers or have the laptop in front of me. First, he would sit on the offending item. I would then have to ignore him or if I was in a hurry I had to push him aside. He would then settle near me, meowing once in a while, while I read or tapped the keys.




I would usually use the laptop at the dining table. Ini lepas aku tolak dia tepi. Tak atas laptop, sipi-sipi pun jadilah.....




Ini case bawak diri sebab aku angin, Adik pun angin. Lepas dia kacaunya orang tu baca buku, dia kacau aku pulak.

That was why I was sad to see him on the floor when he hurt his leg and not on top of the dining table as usual. He still has to be with his Mummy…. As near as he could get.

My little boy !!!!

We went to visit him at the vet twice already.

The first time we went, Abang and I meraung bagai because when he saw we were leaving he struggled to get up too to follow us home.

The second time we went as soon as he saw us he meowed and meowed in distress and we collectively agreed that he was actually begging to come home.

Today finally the vet decreed he is well enough to be operated on so he is fasting now and would be cut open late afternoon.

Waaaa !!!!!

He has to be well soon as I miss being stalked by him.

Also damn you orang yang langgar kucing aku !! I hate you !!

Nyang...

I dunno why when I was on the john this morning, I suddenly thought of my Nyang. In my head, I saw her on my bed at our old house, knitting. A window was next to her so there was a like an ethereal glow surrounded her , as her 2 needles worked at a furious speed.

I remember the wool being white and I remember huddling next to her, my 6-7 year old self, watching in fascination as shapes formed and tied together.

“Ada orang suruh Nyang buat ni. Alas meja…..” That was how she fed her family after her husband passed away by selling her knittings and cloths. My mother was about 5 then. She never re-married although she was widowed quite young. My mom told me once that she used to chase her suitors away with shoes and brooms if they dare propose !

“Nanti Nyang ajar boleh ?” I asked this much loved lady who taught me to pray by forcing me to emulate her movements and reading the verses out loud. This was also the lady who bought me my first telekung and dressed my head in her scarves. I remember a pink one that is my favourite. I was forever putting it on my head and inhaling her scent that lingered there.

This was also the lady whom I remembered sending me to my kindergarten (funny enough, the kindergarten was on the same row as my house now….. It is no more a kindie though…..) by pushing the bike while I sat happily listening to her chatters for all 30 minutes of the journey. Whenever she is around, Mum had to cancel the school bus.

This is also the lady who fed me Maggie Mee Assam Laksa in front of my mom, as an act of defiance as she is the one who raised my mother so she knows best. Says who Maggie Mee is bad ? Ha ha...

I remember her tipping me RM1 whenever I accompanied her to wait for the bus and who grabbed my brother in the morning, holding him upside down by his ankles, shaking him a bit in her bid to cure him of his bed wetting.

This is also the lady who pretended to be deaf... because she could hear just fine when we gossiped. And this is also the lady who irked my aunt because she can't recognise her but could see that she had put on weight. "Sapa ni ?" she asked. "Ohhh..... Kiah ke ? Gemuk kamu ye....." He heh... Precious.

I also remember that this was the lady who saw my dad sneakily burying our family cat he just ran over. When he came inside, relieved that nobody saw what he did but my Nyang surprised him by asking, “Dah mati ke kucing tu ?” and he had no choice but to confess to my mother.

I also remember her funeral where I was cried non-stop as soon as I yanked the cover and cried even harder when the skin I kissed was cold. I wailed the whole time they bathed her and sat next to her wailing some more while they kapan-ed her body.

It was during her funeral when a second cousin looked at me curiously and asked, “Ini nenek kakak ke ?” I shot daggers at her and shouted “Ini Nyang kita !!”

I also remember that she never got around to teach me how to knit properly eventhough we had plenty of time. She only passed away 4-5 years ago.

And I now realized that I do not own even one of her knittings, not even my mom, the favourite grandchild whom she raised.

And I never realized up until know how much I miss her.

Al-Fatihah to Saenah Bt Naim, my great-grandmother.

Sampai demam

Saturday my siblings and I went karaoke-ing dari 8.30 mlm sampai 11-30 mlm. Then we sambung with movie watching Season of the Witch. Pukul 2 pagi baru kami pulang with throat so dry and sore.

Sunday night we gathered again but this time at my mom's for dinner sambil tengok recordings of our antics berhuha-huha macam orang gila. Gelak berdekah-dekah lagi.

When I showed our mom the video clips, I said to her, "Look at your children. What a bad mother you are ..." bertambah lah gelak sampai terbatuk-batuk.

That was why Monday morning on the way to Johor I resigned myself to the coughs. Perils of a good weekend.

Which was also why when my colleague asked me if it was wise for me to eat the ice-cream cone I was holding, I answered with "No no... Am not sick. I was karaoke-ing during the weekend...."

But by Wednesday when I spat out awful, salty green flam in the sink I had to admit to my colleague that she was right after all. But no fear.... am not ill .... just a cough.... as I pushed away the heavy chest and sekejap ada sekejap tak de headache to the back of my mind.

And just now.... when Dessert Rose hugged me and asked if I am having a fever... Well darn it... I am sick.

Then that weekend with my siblings (when I say siblings, I include my hubby and my in-laws too... So there were about 7 of us....)was a smashing success.

We have to do this again, peeps !

Adoi la.....

It's been a week into a new school year, and I am still having nightmares about the first day.

It was awful.

First we sent the kids to school.

When sending Adik I had to check her class. Okay, still the same class. Then pujuk dia because 2 of her kawan ketat were changed to other classes. Saw her to her assembly then left as we have a busy day ahead.

I was informed like 4-5 days before school started by my good friend J that the school now doesn't accept cash. We had to prepare money order or postal order for the fees, books and PIBG. 3 separate ones at that. What the ? I try very, very hard to not ever patronise the Post Office but now I had no choice but to. Actually I had a choice. Darling J offered to do it for me. Buuuutttt........ aku asyik terlupa nak pi rumah dia hantaq duit so last-last, had to go on my own.

So next stop Giant. Arrived there 7.45 and already we were no 40 in line. What the ? again. Kamil did not like it one bit so suggested Tesco. I said lets have breakfast first then we check how far the line had gone. He grudgingly agreed and after breakfast I was happy that we are now no 20.

Kamil was but. Let's go to Tesco, he suggested. What ? Really ? I was thinking sama gak nanti. Tesco surely ramai orang gak and I am very sure the drive there would equal the 19 people ahead of us at Giant.

But pegi gak. And I was right. Kat Tesco lagi haru. There were 50 people in front of us.

Then I told him, darling let's go back to Giant. Mana tahu it is already our turn ?

Nope, the big man said. We go to the Pejabat Pos Besar.

What ? Really ? Pejabat Pos Besar actually don't encourage people to use their services. I get the message just by counting the seciput number of parking spaces they offer. But again pi jugak and again I was right because he had to wait in the car while I bravely marched in and met the din inside. There were more people in there and although most counters were open, I had to wait for like 40 people in front of me to be served first.

Again aku pujuk dia pi Giant. I still had the ticket with me.

Buutt.... tak nak. Pi market dulu. Pi bayaq yuran Abang and beli buku sekolah dia dulu then pi Tesco balik. Nope.... still the same.

Pi hospital dulu for an appointment with my torn ligament ortho then Pejabat Pos Besar again. Situation remained unchanged.

Then to Giant where Kamil finally condescended to wait. So we waited. Although our ticket showed we were number 40 in line, but most of the tickets were not used so that sped thing up a bit. But we still had to wait for 1 hour. Finally we had all 3 damn money orders by 2.30 and rushed to Adik's school. I was praying hard that everything written on it was correct as I could not go through all that hassle again.

So... I think I took about 7 queue tickets plus maybe around RM 30 duit minyak. And about 7 hours. I am darn sure kalau we had stick to Giant in the morning.... things would had been ready by 9 am at least.

Men.

PS : Terubat sikit hati aku bila ada lawyer yang nak tulis surat kat sekolah to berletiaq pasai kebodohan money order itu.

Lawyer, dah tulih belum ni ?

Boleh tak jugak hang buat surat Aku Janji ngan Kamil mintak dia tunggu aje in line and toksah pusing2 pi ntah mana2 ?

You guys wanna go WHOA ! kan ?

You guys wanted to see my blue toe kan ?

Okay.... get ready....
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EEEUUUWWWWWWW ... kan ? Horrifying isn't it ?

And like this which is the worst view of it, I think.




I still wince whenever I look at this picture. *Shudder*

So for weeks my condition looked like this;




Which is kinda embarrassing. But it was okay. I could manage. Doc wasn't sure I should go to work on account that I looked ridiculous. But I told him my Boss doesn't give a hoot how my legs look like. He cares if I come or not.

So now, after like 5 dressings and about RM 250, it has dried up and Doc said I could leave it exposed to the elements.



Still not very pretty, but much better. Still can't wear shoes yet though.

Maybe......

I believe that most wives are haunted by nagging feelings that their husbands do not love them. This feelings could be constant or sporadic or whatever.... you know kadang-kadang, jarang-jarang or banyak-banyak.

The littlest of thing eminated from the husband, be it word, gesture, sigh, grunt.. which probably means nothing could be taken as (or miscontrued as) a sign of disinterest, hate or worse a girlfriend tucked in somewhere.

I know....! How could a woman decipher that from a mere jelingan from sang suami... ? It boggles the mind, doesn't it...? But we just can..., I promise you we really can.

Anyway... me... the champion of this subject matter - I once had a restless night because in the middle of sleep... Kamil... hahahah....(I know it sounds silly now but it was soooo crystal clear at that moment)... who slept while holding my hand suddenly let it go during the night. I was woken up while he did that and afterwards I couldn't sleep a wink because I kept thinking he let my hand go because he has a new girlfriend.... CK and Hjh Esah knows how traumatic this lack of hand holding waktu tiduq could be for me....And how did I put the 2 and 2 together and came out with 6 could not be explained so don't bother asking.

Anyway....I had been feeling so unloved by Kamil eversince my toe became blue because you know he wasn't being very sympathetic to my pain when it happened. He nagged and got angry and was generally being barking mad while I was hopping around with pain.

I suppose the assumption that his love was gone for me at that point was not so silly because he failed to act like a loving husband should... which is meraung macam orang gila tengok aku sakit. Or at least lift me off my feet (my weight doesn't count during moments like this) and rushed me to the hospital where he demanded the doctor to do something quick as he couldn't bear to see the love of his life (aku le tu) in pain.

So... I had been going around these past few weeks quite convinced that he has a girlfriend (which is I assure you the natural progression of this tuduhan melulu...)until ... yesterday morning that is. Yesterday morning I finally took a brave step to get over my iron-o-phobia by ironing my own shirt at the scene of the crime. As I lifted the iron, I suddenly noticed a pair of hands holding the board still.

I looked up at him and he was intently looking at the board, keeping it steady.

"I think we have to buy a better board..." he said while I gawked at him. He stayed during the length of my ironing and carefully lifted my shirt up (from the board le... not off me... itu lain dah....)for me.

And again this morning.. he was hovering near me while I ironed, making sure the board tak buat perangai lagi.

Awww..... you sayang I yek.... Awat tak habaq awai-awai ?

But... hmmm........

Maybe ......... he was doing that not because he cares.... but because he has a hot date today and he doesn't want to be late by sending me to the hospital again.

Hmmm.... possible, possible....

You do the math lah....

MALES CONTINUE TO OUTNUMBER FEMALES ! screamed the headline of a famous daily today.

With that, married males... please give a chance to your single and equally virile species to have a mate.

If you pasang 2, there will be 1 more of your friend who must do without.

Okay, to put things into perspective...in Johor apparently there are 112 males to 100females. So.... really if geography is a syarat to marry, 12 men in Johor will be confirmed bachelors.

You get me so far ?

So if one of these men took 2, there will be 13 confirmed bachelors now. So you do the math lah if 10 men pasang 2. Itu baru 2... kalau 3 ? 4 ?

Don't be selfish mates... Have some pity for your friends.

It is all in the math, bro. All in the math.

Stories

Funny story

We had just arrived and we were busy unpacking and sorting out things when the room phone rang. Abang was nearest to the phone so we asked him to quickly answer it.

He ran, stopped short, looked frantic then panically yelled, "Which button do I push ?"

Eh ? Oh.... hahahahahah !

"Pick up the receiver, lah !"

Our fault for not having a land line at home. Thus... my son does not know how to operate one.

Sad story

IRM took us a to a nice secluded beach. We had a fun time mucking about. Those that wasn't medically required to keep their toes dry and clean played with the water and those who do (there was only 1 person)had to wobble around looking for a place to sit like an old biddy while worrying about the right big toe penetrated by sand and the left ligament torn ankle ...errrmmm.... tear its ligament further as it was quite a task to walk.

Anyway, we hitched a ride in my brother's van. When we arrived at the hotel, I helped Ana down first as she was sitting on Kamil's lap next to me. As soon as I got out of the car, I reached out for her hand again and as soon as she held mine, she asked me the million dollar question.

"Mummy... saya suka lah Ibu...."

Excuse me ? The little one repeated the same statement.. I heard her just fine the first time but entahlah... reflex I suppose.

"Mana ibu ?" And she had to ask. Mummy had to steel herself from bursting into tears. Just the day before when I checked in the hotel, I bumped into Shera's brother. We talked for awhile and I of course cried a little.

Probably Ana asked because she saw her uncle too and he reminded her of Ibu.

Anyway... my stupid answer to her as she squinted at me was, "Ibu kan duduk dengan Allah sekarang. Allah kan sayang Ibu... so Allah nak Ibu duduk dengan dia.... Ibu kan baik... jadi sebab tu Allah nak Ibu duduk dekat dengan dia....."

"Ibu buat apa dengan Allah ?"

"Allah banyak keje sayang jadi Ibu kena tolong Allah.... Ana duduk dengan Mummy aje okay ? Dengan Ayah, dengan Tok, dengan CT... Nanti bila akhirat karang kita jumpa Ibu balik okay ?"

She nodded and smiled her sweet smile while I cried.

Shera... I pun suka you. You know, Ana is starting kindergarten soon and she had a 1 day kindy trial last Friday. The teachers love her and they complimented on how clever she is.

You are sooo lucky to have a special girl like that praying, loving and thinking about you.

Abang's birthday

Today is my firstborn’s birthday. He is 10 ... WAAAAAAAAAA !

My baby.... my baby... Dah besar.

Now I understand my dad, why he always tried his darnest to stop us from growing up.
“MI/CY/CA/MJ jadi baby lah.. toksah besar sampai bila-bila...” he used to say. A lot. And I always rolled my eyes because I hear that countless of times. And I will let out the heaviest of sighs when he added, “Nanti Ayah takde toy...” Aparaa... I’d always thought. Go and buy one lah.....

But now... Sob Sob.. I finally get him because my toy has grown up and doesn’t want to play with me that much anymore.

He doesn’t want to follow me everywhere anymore, unlike his sister. He doesn’t need me to be in front of him that much anymore, like his sister ... and... I saw him rolled his eyes behind my back when I was being silly.

And the thing that hurts the most was he doesn’t share anymore.

On Adik’s birthday we went to Toys R Us as Adik wanted a toy. Aku rasa toys are the most wasteful of purchases. I wasn’t really keen on it but Babah jeling at me so I let it be. I know she would fully utilise an MP3 player or an iPod instead of the Hello Kitty tea set she chose. I was right, she kept on bugging us to let her use our handphones to hear her songs and kept on hogging the car stereo. Dok ulang lagu-lagu dia aje. The Hello Kitty set, although very cute was already relegated to her working station (yes.. she has one) and remained untouched since a day after her birthday.

So coming back to Toys R Us on Adik’s birthday, when Abang wanted a toy too Babah wouldn’t let him without giving any other explanation except “It’s expensive !”. Babah actually had bought the Chelsea jersey and the goalkeeper gloves like he wanted, but Babah didn’t tell him so because he wanted it to be a surprise. Tapi Babah ni tone dia tak kena... he sounded like he was angry.

So my son sebek sat and mula le bergenang ayaq mata and started to walk ahead of us.

Aku ni memang kesian sangat kalau tengok Abang kena marah sebab really... when I sit down and think about it... he is one of the good guys. Sure he can be naughty but overall... he is one great kid.

I caught up with him and as usual asked him what was wrong. But to my surprise ... he said nothing, shook his head and took my arm off his shoulders. I was dumbstruck. Terkejut gila because usually, he would tell me how he feels.

And tengah-tengah Empire shopping mall tu ayaq mata aku pun bergenang jugak. When Kamil caught up with me, he was exasperated to see my tears. “He doesn’t want to tell me anything ! I asked and he doesn’t tell me... He doesn’t talk to me anymore !!!”

Kamil sighed as I looked forlornly at my son’s back. Kamil then said, “Namanya budak laki.... Budak laki memang macam tu lah... mana dia orang bercakap sangat.....” and he left my side to walk with our son. Kamil distracted his attention to some stuffs in the mall and soon he was laughing again. But I still failed to laugh because I am still hurt by his rejection. Of course, aku blame Kamil for being too hard on him sampai dia keraih macam tu.

Mummy’s baby boy... don’t put a wall between us. You are still a baby... and forever you will be my baby... Even when you are 40 you will remain my baby. Don’t grow up too soon as Mummy tak ada orang nak manja nanti, kay ?

Please ?

I love you, hunny bunny.

December 15 was here again...

Yesterday was my little girl's birthday.

Awwww......... dah besar anak Mummy ! Sob ! Sob !

She warned us that since it's her birthday, she can do anythings she wants ! Anything, you hear ?

Okay lah.....

"Mummy ? It's my birthday and I am just going to eat the Oreos ! I am not asking for your permission !" Then, yang hang susah payah call nak bagitau aku buat apa ?

"Mummy ? I want to drink the last Vitagen..." Minumlah... it's your birthday kan ? No need my permission, remember ?

Hehehhehe.....

Mummy's little girl dah besar. She is 7 now... Dah pandai cakap, dah pandai mintak birthday cake at the stroke of midnight to Abah's chagrin (actually dari dia kecik dia mintak orang gerak dia pagi-pagi to celebrate her birthday... dia memang kuat berangan) and finally dah tak boleh mintak dukung.

Actually, on her birthday, dia mintak Babah dia dukung and Kamil sakit-sakit belakang pun dukung jugak... Her birthday, kan ? For old times'sake, said Babah.

Happy Birthday, little girl. Mummy is sooo blessed as I am one of the few Mothers whom Allah bestowed a clown to.

Anak-anak

Yesterday in the car Abang said, "I wish you are pregnant right now...."

Errrkkk !

"Because I would love to have a baby brother to play with...."

Hmmmm........

"But then... when I think about it... when he is 7, I will be in college already so there's no point ! So better tak payah lah...."

Mummy didn't get to say anything at all... Tak sempat. He made his request, reasoned it out then made his decision all in one breath.

Ha ha.

Teingat kat Ana, whom I like to refer as Wife for Loyal Man only. Once she doesn't trust you, well.... she is gonna make your life very hard indeed.

We first noticed her perangai when one day her Ayah nak keluar rumah, she demanded where he was going. Ayah's "nak jumpa kawan sekajap.." did not satisfy her at all.

"Ayah lama.... ayah tak sekejap...."

"Iya... ayah sekejap aje...."

"Ana ikut...."

"Tak payah lah... Ayah sekejap aje..."

"Ana ikut !!!!" She insisted."And Ayah again said no need.

"No... Ana ikut sebab nanti ayah lama.." and she held on to his trousers.

Abang aku cannot say anything but took her with him. Kami yang dok tengok tahan gelak aje... Jangan lah dok kelentong dia next time kay....

HHheheheheh... padan muko. But the best one happened 2-3 weeks ago.

My brother's boss was involved in an accident. He called my brother requesting for his help and as my brother got ready, Ana was in motion already.

Question of ayah pegi mana was answered. She also said nak ikut but this time ny brother stood his ground as he knows it will be a long and laborious trip.

Ana insisted and ayah explained again.

She crossed her arms in what we thought defeat. But... apparently she is waaay too smart.

"Ayah tangkap gambar. Ana nak tengok betul ke ayah pegi tolong orang accident."

Ha kau... terkedu ayahnya.

Please don't think because she is 4 her request has no standing. Don't think she would have forgotten about it.

Ayah sampai rumah aje, she ran to him and demanded the evidence. Ayah pun keluarkan lah kamera and tunjuk gambaq kereta tu remuk tengah2 jalan.

Baru le dia puas hati.

He heh... Tulah..... You think your daughter is not smart eh ? Nengok muka dia tahu how bijak she is....

Teringat pulak cerita Adik when she was with me at the hospital. She was talking non-stop, talking about one subject after another. The lady who sat near us must have been listening because she remarked, "Pandainya dia bercakap... Macam orang besar..... "

People had always said that about her, since she was about 3 years old ...so aku senyum aje.

Then... "Berapa umur ni ?"

"Tujuh..."

Pastu...

"La.... ingat kan 5 ke.... patut le pandai cakap dah 7 !!"

He heh ! Tak jadi lak aku senyum bangga... Tulah Adik... kecik benar orang ingat 5 tahun !

A day full of kesians..

Hari tu my sister asked f I would like to have breakfast together. Then.... I asked her if she would mind singgah KLCC sekejaaaap saja as I have to get the books Kinokuniya reserved for me.

CY came at 12 with our nieces in tow, lepak sekejap tengok tv with Kamil as our other sister CT wanted to join us. CT said to fetch her at 12.30 but knowing CT we only started our journey 12.45. Itupun we had to wait like 15 minutes for her.

Anyway CY in her delicate condition was banned from driving far by my mom so when CT sat in the driving seat, I asked, "Did you invite your mother ?" We are always like that, we always refer to our mom 'your mother' with each other.

CT's eyes went huge and CY gasped. CT said no. She said, "CY lah bagitau sebab she is living with your mother..."

CY gasped again and said "Yeah... but CPK yang ajak... So dia lah yang bagitau mak dia..."

I gasped and said "Well... your mother is always calling you so I expect you to tell her !" while pointing at CT.

The 3 of us can ding dong and ding dong the blame to kingdom come pun would not eliminate the fact that we have forgotten to inform our mother about this trip.

Yikes !!!!!!

So we hatched a plan. She would definitely call one of us from then till we get home so

* CT will not answer the phone at all
* I don't usually answer the phone during the weekend because aku selalu campak handphone aku merata-rata. And Mom would not call Kamil knowing that Kamil was sick
* CY would tell our mom that she and I were in Subang Parade. Subang Parade is not as bad as KLCC

Budak-budak ? CY said we can threaten them with whatever pun kalau Tok tanya they will still tell her the truth, Let us pray, sisters supaya jangan kantoi !

So we went to KLCC. Had lunch and then went to Kinokuniya for books then to the bank to activate my children's accounts.

Why I have to activate their accounts ? Because this oh... clever bank's rule is if one only ever deposit money and make no withdrawal at all, within 6 months one's account will be de-activated.

And what does de-activated mean ? It means one can't deposit (in another term bagi bank) one's money via the machines.

And to activate this Islamic account, one has to re-activate it in KLCC. Then one has to make a withdrawal. Minimum withdrawal RM1. So... I withdrew RM 1 from Abang's account and another RM 1 from Adik's account. I had to fill in 2 withdrawal forms then wait for another 10-15 minutes before they can give me my 2 bucks. CY asked, how long do they need to count 2 ringgit ?"

Good question.

Clever kan ? So brilliant a system it was that I now want to close my accounts and put my money elsewhere.

Anyway, aku tak larat jalan, CY also tak larat jalan lagi so went home. No trips to Zara or M&S or whatever yang ada in KLCC. Rasa rugi sungguh ... heheheh. Before that sempat buat dinner plans dulu. CY being preggers wanted to have dinner at Uptown so takut baby dia meleleh ayaq liuq kami pun okay saja.

I got ready after Maghrib and as I ushered my kids downstairs to wait for them, CY sms-ed to inform that her mother is coming with us and please remember our story.

Hehhehehe..... Haru kan kami ?

Anyway, CY came with only MJ and MI in her car. Apparently they have left their mother with our brother MP because they do not want to ride with MP's girlfriend. Not that we don't like her, we just don't like the fact that our sister Shera is being replaced.

But why they left their mother apparently yelling for them from the top of the stairs was beyond me. Their excuse was if they brought mom along, nanti MP terasa macam kami lari dari girlfriend dia sebab original plan nak pegi2 sama2. Kesian kat MP, kata depa.

Lantak korang le....I am not involved in this crisis, thank Allah for that !

So.... sampai Uptown... order makan.... We again sat in front of this Ah Soo's gerai. When we first sat there we didn't order anything from her, preferring our usual gerais. But we noticed that she wasn't cooking for anybody, so Kamil took pity on her and bungkuih maggi goreng. He then paksa MI makan kat rumah. Tak sedap, kata MI.

This time around, MI pulak kesian kat dia and even though conscious of the fact that her maggi goreng wasn't all that, he ordered meehoon hailam anyway which turned out to be very nice actually. I take it as tanda terima kasih dari Allah sebab kesiankan Ah Soo tu.

Anyway, we talked non-stop and aku yang memang over pergilah bercerita pasal something that happened in KLCC.

"Korang tahu tak tadi masa turun escalator tadi we bumped into this kid, pakai jacket merah macam Michael Jackson, plus with spek itam tenggek atas hidung macam tengah jalan waktu panas terik. Jalan pulak terlompat-lompat macam rapper mana tak tau... I noticed ramai yang tercengang tengok dia and bukannya terkejut dengan kehensemannya yang terlampau ... which I know what he was going for... So aku pun kesian lah kat dia and said to him.."Amboi hai... hensemnya.....". CY muka macam nak terlentang tang tu jugak dengaq aku cakap kuat-kuat lagu tu kat mamat tu......"

Everybody laughed out loud of course and then MI asked, "Kat KLCC ?"

"Ha lah... KLCC lah !"

CY who sat next to mom teruih geleng2 kepala frantically and I realised my mistake a tad too late and looked at my mom who was looking at her food, with a small smile on her face and I stupidly went.."Eh... bukan KLCC lah... Subang Parade....."

Which already sounded soooo damn lame... and then aku pergi mengeruhkan keadaan by saying, "Aku tadi pegi KLCC ngan CT......" which also was not part of the plan.

And berpeluh2 lah kami bertiga .... Ladies ranging from ages of 34 to 27..... because kami dah kantoi ngan mak kami.

Aduhai lah......

Ini pulak balasan Allah sebab Allah kesian kat mak kami yang kena tipu ngan anak2 and because anak-anak pi huha-huha kat KLCC tak bawak dia.

Finding authentic chips

This weekend we went to Ikea twice.

Twice !!!

First trip was on Saturday. Not because I think Ikea's stuffs are all that (I happen to think that Ikea is definitely not all that... maybe some that... just not all)but after 1 whole week in PG, eating their very unimaginative and uninspiring food, aku rasa macam naaaakkk sangat makan chips. Not fries, mind you.. but chips... Thick ones like they sell in England.

Okay, you could never find those chips sold in England over here but I reckon the usual thick chips sold at Ikea could just satisfy that kind of hunger. Anyway, it was a huuugggee mistake going there because the place was jam packed !! The lines were like 1km long, I kid you not.

So we dejectedly (I think it was just me... my family didn't give a hoot about chips or fries) troop out of there and Kamil took pity on me, ajak makan Tony Roma's. I am not really a fan of Tony Roma's but thinking surely TR would have served chips,I agreed. However I ended up feeling very much disappointed because I was munching fries. It has slipped my mind that TR is American so they would have correctly served fries. Duh !

Food was not good. I shared with Kamil because TR's servings are humongous. Even their kid's menu pun a bit too much for the kiddies. Well... the sharing is not why the food wasn't good. It was the blah burger and fish and chips that was not seasoned well. Oh yeah, there were no chips with the fish... but fries. They should have changed the name.

Anyway, aku bergolek2 ala-ala Sarimah dalam Ibu Mertuaku malam semalam sambil menyuarakan hasrat nak cuba pi Ikea lagi. Aku rasa Kamil geli gelaman Ya Rabbi nengok aku berguling macam badak sebab he quickly said yes. Hehehheheh.. Trick bagus for future use.

Anyway we went during lunch and again the same scenery greeted us. Aku pun dah fed-up. Kamil said maybe their hot dogs and karipap ada teluq suku kat dalam tu could do it but itupun panjang ! I mean, it is a public holiday during school holiday ! Aren't the masses supposed to balik kampung or pi picnic tang mana-mana ka ?

Jalan-jalan and as I looked forlornly where one of my favourite restaurants Fasta Pasta (they served chips these lovely Australian) used to be, Kamil remarked that "Hey ! It is Nando's now !"

And then his face lit up like he had just had an epiphany and said, "Nando's do chips !"

Hehehhe.... sian mamat ni. Okaylah, jomlah... Nando's pun Nando's lah. Okay... it is not like I don't like Nando's. I do like them as much as the next person buuuttt....... Nando's could be found where I live. Dah mai jauh-jauh, cari parking punya susah.. nak makan kat restaurant yang ada dekat-dekat ngan rumah buat apa ?

But... Alhamdullillah, their chips were good, nice and thick. I ate only half of the chicken as I wanted to make room for the chips.

But still..... hmmm... I need the Ikea chips.. with oily chicken wings (dabbed first with tissue paper to minimise the oil) and if I am lucky and the server tak garang and skema, some nice gravy. Especially memikirkan that I am going back to PG tomorrow and eat the same uninspiring food.

Okay, who wants to take me there as Kamil will be working next weekend ?

Any volunteers ?

Anybody ?

PS : Adik was singing the Jom Heboh song when she stopped to ask the meaning heboh. Err.... like you have a piece of news, then you tell a lot of people about it. Like that lah... answered this mom.

Abang said, "Oh... you mean spread the word ?"

Oh yeah... that is a better explanation.

Malu !!!

Dia buat dah........

Does a man know that when he decided to love another, his wife would be hurt ?

And the hurt is not sikit2 punya hurt but father grandfather punya hurt ? Sebab you are suppose to love her. And when you take another wife, it sure does look like you are replacing her. And please, do not even try to liken it to having more than 1 child. The intimacies of husband and wife is far greater and personal than intimicies of parents and children, kay ?

And to add salt to the injury, bila wife put a lot of conditions like a set monthly income, car and the right to keep her money to herself, buleh pulak dia pi kata bini tu busuk hati. Saja je nak demand. What the ... ? Kalau dah sah-sah tak mampu tu toksah le... There is a reason why Allah letakkan syarat lelaki yang berkemampuan saja... And do you actually know the rights of a wife in Islam ? Tempat tinggal, pakaian, kenderaan and help (maid le tu...). So... dah sediakan ke semua tu ? And it doesn't count ye kalau bini tu jugak yang tolong tampung mortgage, car loan and bayar maid. Tong-tong tak kira aaaaa.....

DO you know, oh wise man that when additional wife means additional expense and the original wife does not want to suffer financially just because you want to have a good time ? She must make sure that her needs and rights are protected first before you go and joli katak. Hang dok syok2 berjoli awatlak pulak dia kena reduce her lifestyle just for you to joli ? Joli pulak sengsorang dia tak leh join sekali.

Punyalah dia banyak berkorban for you, surrendering her money to you every month for the sake of the family that you have created together, and while you sat down to watch the telly after hard day's work she can't sit and relax with you but had to go straight to the kitchen for a hard day at there pulak.

While you already well perfumed from your bath, you commented lak how unsightly the looks of her because dia after cooking, busy with the kids so tak sempat mandi and rambut berjeragah.

Cuba ko bayangkan, while you are with your new wife in blissful embrace, she had to mind your 5-6 kids alone and go to sleep alone. You would never ever experience that because pi mana pun, you would always, always have a bed mate. And what about the exposed danger, a woman alone at home with children ? Kalau ada orang masuk rumah, who is there to protect them ? Your family ni tau, aku bukan cakap pasai keluarga orang lain.. keluarga hang ni !

How can a man be sooo selfish ?

If I don't stop now, this could potentially turn to be a 100 pager.

I am so bloody pissed off !!!!!!!

And I cry with you, my dearest friend. Sabaq na.... I really don't want you to cry for him anymore. He doesn't deserve it...

I really don't know the reason for this entry.... Sorry

So Thursday my sister took me to the hospital to get my dressing changed. Our nieces came too but not my kids as Kamil's parents took them out for lunch.

I can't sleep the night before because the toe was a bit ngilu (I really do not know what is ngilu in English). And the dreams I had made me restless further. I don't know why my dreams consisted of me eating the toe. *Shudder*

Boss called early morning to ensure I went to get my dressing done. I know he does that because he wants me to be back at the office pronto. My team are already at site and they had to leave their team lead behind.

It is not like I didn't call them for reports and making sure they are on the right track.

Anyway, I went to the hospital anticipating huge pain. I was in a dilemma, trying to figure out the right time to eat the painkillers. If I eat it too early sekali I get to see the doctor like late afternoon ergo there is a chance by that time the painkillers will start wearing off.

If I eat too late, I was afraid that the medication tak sempat kick in.

Decisions, decisions.

We arrived during lunch so nobody was there yet for the afternoon clinic. Not even the doctor, haha.

Went down for lunch and after at length discussing with my sister who happens to be a doctor, swallowed the painkillers.

I was the third patient to be called but I was instructed by the nurse to go straight to procedure room.

I gulped. My sister and my nieces solemnly followed me, knowing that I so dread this moment. A nurse was already waiting there and she immediately grabbed my toe. I winced because I need tender loving care ! No grabbing is allowed. Especially since I was warned beforehand that it will be painful. Be gentle... please.

Luckily my sister stayed next to me and as I voiced out my fears the nurse said, "Mana ada sakit... Tak sakitlah...." and Alhamdullilah, it turned out to be true. No pain ! Apparently somebody invented a gauze that won't stick to the skin, allowing pain free gauze removal ! Which my sister had earlier suspected the hospital would use, it being a huge and expensive hospital and all (very expensive, luckily company cover... ).

But... there is always a but with me... when the nurse tried to clean the wound, it stung quite a bit. Oh yeah, me toe is UGLY ! Not blue anymore but the skin around the nail is gone, so there was an open wound there, all pink. The place where the nail should be was still oozing blood but doc and my sister weren't worried at all about that because they say the wound is clean.

Since I have to go to site on Monday, doc said I have to go to a clinic over there to get my dressing changed and thoughtfully supplied the miracle gauze for me to take home just in case the small clinics don't carry them.

My niece E from the very beginning didn't want to see what was behind the bandage but her sister A was curious and decided to have a look. But as soon as she saw the blood, she ran like hell to join her sister. Hahahahahha....

While the nurse re-bandaged my toe, received a call from Kamil. I am on the way to the hospital, he said. I am sooo sick. That Monday when I had my minor procedure, he actually visisted the ER right after work because he had H1N1 symptoms. 2 of his staffs were confirmed to be infected.

Like I mentioned before, he likes to steal my thunder.

And again when I was at the hospital to change my dressing, he needed the hospital too. Both of us can't be sick ! You know that Monday after my minor procedure, I was in bed with my leg up and he was lying next to me sleeping off the flu medication. Sian anak2 okay. They kept coming to have a look-see at their parents stuck in bed.

Anyway, I said goodbye to my sister and nieces and walked to the ER to get my husband. And there he was groaning in pain and was jabbed at the arse. Ha ha ! Now you know. He would usually scoff at me when I complained about the pain of being jabbed so seeing him rubbing his arse was poetic justice to me.

I am terrible.

Anyway, he still had to drive us home eventhough he was quite woozy. My sister did volunteer to wait for him and then drive us both home but I know he would go crazy thinking about his car being left at the hospital. That scenario is enough to create more agro for him... which will definitely cascade down to me. So tak payahlah Adik ku. Balik ajelah. Biarlah abang ko ni bawak kete balik sebab kang dia tambah pening mikir kete dia kena tinggal kat spital.

Therefore, I sooo didn't get my tender loving care ( I was anticipating being fussed over, him plumping my pillows, catering to my every whims and fancies ) at all as Kamil had it worse. He was vommitting and was gassy and woozy. He slept a lot. I was worried obviously and had to check on him constantly.

Since I still had my senses and he was fast losing his, I had to terkedek-kedek fixed his plate and fed him. When he looked a bit better I just handed him his plate kan, but he shook his head and mintak suap !

Gatal. He is sooo lucky that he is the love of my life. Kalau Adik aku tu agaknya kena pelakung dah kat kepala.

No... That is not true. Actually when my baby brother MJ was suffering from denggue, I drove from my office in KL to the hospital in Shah Alam just to feed him lunch and pat him to sleep before I drove back to KL. Everyday.

I should have been a nurse.

Hmmmm.......

Book reading

So what did I do the whole day of yesterday ?

Read.

Have no Astro in my room so could only watch DVDs. But I have exhausted all of them before I was immobilised and there is only so much of Airbender I could take, no matter how much I love it.

So I read. Started with Meg Cabot's Mediator series which was nice. Covered 2 books in like 2 hours. Then started with the Vanished series and I was hooked line and sinker ! It was awesome.

It is about this 16 year old girl who got struck by lightning and suddenly she would know the whereabouts of missing people by looking at their pics. I do find the protagonist a bit rude and very rough but I love the romance Meg Cabot had written for her.

Jess fell in love with a senior from the wrong side of town whom she met in detention. The way she described him was how I would describe the person(s) of my interests when I was just that age.

I could connect with Jess, the way she feels and the way she wondered if this boy shares her feelings.. because I too were like that. So whenever Rob showed any interest, I grinned stupidly like how I grinned stupidly 20 years ago (yikes !)when a boy I liked paid any attention to me no matter how smidgeon. The hearts a flutter, and the euphoria of being noticed just from a smile that he bestowed or if our eyes met, even if it was accidental. Parah kan ?

Aahh.... to be back to those days... the courting and the passing of messages... the "Do you think he likes me ?" and the long hours on the phone with your bestfriend to talk about his hair, and smiles and how he walked and held his files, how he tucked his damn shirt !.... And the heart skipping a beat everytime the damn phone rang ! Or if he stopped to talk to you. Kalau dia ajak pegi library lagi lah, pengsan sekejap (as soon as I reached home of course) before being resuscitated by my bestfriend because we have more urgent to do like choosing an outfit.

Dulu-dulu dating pi library... HAHAHAHAHAH !

So that is why I like that book because it reminds me so much of the delicious yesteryears of being in love.

So now... looking at my husband, softly snoring...flat from his flu medications, I tried picturing him 18 years ago when he was the source of my stupid grins.

Heheh !

WHOA !

So this morning I showed my boss my big blue toe.

He went WHOA !

One of my colleagues saw it and he also went WHOA !

I learnt my lesson and did not show it to the rest of the team. Nak jadikan cerita I accidently kicked the biscuit tin under my table and it was soooo bad I had to drive myself to the hospital. Dah lah takde parking dekat emergency. I had to circle twice and took the parking ticket twice jugak.

I had no choice but to park in the basement at the other wing, took the lift up, walked like 2 minutes to the lobby, took the stairs up 1 floor, crossed the bridge, took the lift down and walked to emergency.

The nurse waiting for me at the triage room went WHOA !

Sigh... here we go again.

She called her friend for an opinion and she also went WHOA ! The kind nurse ( the nurse was kind though despite her WHOA ! ) decided that I must be sent straight to an ortho (again !!!) but looking at me wincing she called a doctor and after the doctor also went you know what, jabbed me on my arse again. With painkillers of course.

The pain took a long time to fade. Long time. Anyway, the kind nurse asked if I have any ortho in mind. I said I want the gentlest and kindest ortho the hospital could offer. She laughed. I don't know why as I was serious as hell. I need tender loving care.

The lovely nurse showed me to the receptionist at the doctor's clinic. She went WHOA ! also and I rolled my eyes. I waited like 2 hours before the doctor saw me and his WHOA ! sent me to panic mode.

If the doctor went WHOA ! then I am going SHIT !

He told me that I have to have the toenail removed, he had to clean it up which he called debrifement or something. Sure, whatever but the most important thing is, "Are you going to put me under GA doc as I refused to be pelted with more pain !"

He leaned back for awhile. Not lah GA he said, local is enough. I though am not convinced as I think I need international.

I was sent to x-ray to ascertain if there are any broken bones. Nope. Alhamdullilah to that. But before that, the radiographger went WHOA ! and his was the loudest. Malu tau ! But he was nice and overly polite and so okaylah. Tak jadi nak ketuk kepala dia.

Doc filled up a form and asked me to sign it after he explained what he had written which was the procedures involved. "Doc you forgot to write it will be a painless procedure..." I duly reminded him.

He smiled. I hate the kind of smile he gave. He leaned back again and said that he will numb the area and I will feel pain from the injection. Damn !

I was sent to a procedure room where 4 different nurses came for a peek so I got my 4 WHOA !s. The sight of the blue toe was too much already and when they saw my supported left ankle I had to fib that I torn my ligament during tennis. I mean, I do not want to be the poster girl for Klutz of the Year. And jatuh tangga and having an ironing board collapsing on me was unbelievable enough. So better this way... heheheheheh.

Doc wasn't kidding when he said the injection would be painful as it hurt like a mutha ! Btw, all 4 nurses decided to watch the procedure sampai doc tegur, "Eh, kenapa ramai sangat ni ? You all takde kerja ke ?" They were just curious to see what was hidden underneath the ballooned and blue skin.

Eventhough my toe was numb, I could still feel whatever he was doing. But it didn't hurt. I could feel him godek2 to get my toenail out. Doctor tu pun saja, he kept asking "Sakit tak ?" while making funny faces at me. I told him don't worry Doc, you would know the minute I feel any pain. Then I started screaming. He was doing some sewing as I had quite a tear underneath the nail. HEHEHHEHEHE....... macam budak-budak tapi sakit tau !

The nurses clustering around me were nice. One advised me not to look and she held my hand. She even covered my eyes for me and before she did that she read the Bismillah for me. When the screaming started they chorused, "Sikit aje lagi...Dah, dah ... Okay, okay...."

I felt so well taken care of. By the way, the pressure on the toe was so great, my blood sprayed on the doc's baju. I sempat said sorry but I suspect his "It's okay..." was forced. HEHEHHE.......

So they bandaged me and told me to come in 4 days to get the dressing changed. One helpfully advised before I come to change my dressing, I had better get loaded with painkillers as that would hurt.

Aiiiiii.....

I quickly settled the bill and rushed home because I could feel that the anesthetic was wearing off. So now while I am writing, I have taken the painkillers and please pray that tonight would be a pain free night for me.

Please be careful when you use the ironing board, okay ? This is real advise folks. Don't be like me. It was such a traumatic experience for me that now I have developed a fear of ironing. Sungguh ! Malam semalam Kamil had to iron my baju for me.

Serious.

HEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEH........

My weekend

Yesterday I went to watch Harry Potter a deux with Kamil. The kiddos surprisingly didn't want to come. Come to think about it not surprising at all actually as since it was already school holidays, we have taken ot the Wii again so the lure of the games were much greater than Harry.

We arrived at 8.30 and there were only seats on the 11 pm show so what to do ? What to do ? I bought 5 books. I absolutely went crazy at MPH. I grabbed 2 by Meg Cabot (she is sectioned under Teen Readers ! A bit malu dok berebut space with an actual teen but who cares ? Err... I do actually that was why when I saw what I wanted I grabbed and scarpered.. Ha !)

Then Mitch Albom's newest, one of Adrian Mole's diary by Sue Townsend and a spy thriller by that Swedish guy I have forgotten his name. I read about the brilliance of his books years ago but tak terjumpa because I keep forgetting his name. But since Daniel Craig is acting in the movie adaptation teringat pulak title... That is the lure of Daniel Craig. *Swoon*

I already had dinner at home, eating the best ever daging masak kicap paired with sambal ikan bilis kering made by my mom. Kamil prefers eating Mom's food at her home so we went to find a place to fill his belly. So terhencut-hencutlah aku dengan kaki kiri with torn ligament and kaki kanan with hideously blue toe teman Kamil makan pancakes. While he ate, I read and to while away the time he waited for me to read.

The movie was dark. As it should be. It followed the book very well, building up the suspense before the real war that is gonna happen in the next installment. I like it because I am an ardent fan of the book. Kamil I think just endured because kena layan aku kan. But he might be more interested than that because he asked me what is going to happen in the next movie and asked about the characters.

So it was good. Have to wait for the next one lah pulak...

My foot is pulsating with pain. I never had a moment when I can't feel the pain. No amount of pain killers I took could help so am a bit worried. It has been a very uncomfortable and painful 3 days. Plus my toe looked hideous. Simply horrendous. It is completely blue... like the Avatar blue. And there is like a very black ring around the blue toe, macam frame pulak. The nail does look a bit detached so I suppose it is gonna come off soon.

Pagi tadi had a very late breakfast. I had 2 kuih aje but wasn't hungry at lunch. So did Kamil. Atas permintaan ramai I made carbonara. Yuck ! I cannot tahan carbonara anymore but I just made them because my kids missed my cooking.

My new job doesn't allow me the time to take care of my family, what with the travelling and what nots that I have to do when we are in KL again. So Friday I decided to leave early. I started making pasta marinara and the screams of delight my kids gave when they came home from class gladdens my heart and made me sad too.

"Are you making pasta ? I can smell pasta !" Asked my daughter excitedly. Seeing them wolfing down the food was a very poignant moment for me. It shows how much I have been neglecting them. Kesian... Saturday lunch I made pizza which again they wolfed down with gusto.

Well... my kids are not the only casualties of my travelling. It has some effect on Kamil too. 2 weeks ago he ordered Pepperoni pizza for me.

I don't eat that kind of pizza.

And during Raya Korban when his brother's wife made roast lamb, he actually offered some to me.

I do not eat lamb !

And he argued that he has seen me eat them which I find very upsetting because dia nampak bini dia yang mana makan lamb ni ?

Sudah jatuh tangga di timpa...

I am at home. It's Friday morning but I am at home. You wouldn't believe me when I tell you why. I didn't believe it myself.

So there I was last night, around 10 pm when Kamil ajak masuk tidur. I saw him inspecting his baju so I offered to iron it for him. So I ironed and then I ironed some more than suddenly the bloody ironing board was falling down and hit me toe.

The toe on the good leg.

And I started jumping because the pain was unbelievable. I still couldn't quite believe it myself. It was beyond excruciating and I started crying. My kids were frantic and being kids, they started crying too. The skin underneath the nail was already blue.

Couldn't sit, couldn't stand, couldn't lie down as nothing I did could make the pain go away. While being assaulted by the pain and Kamil's angry tirade (jantan kan... kalau kita sakit ke apa ke mesti dia marah-marah dulu... more on that later...)I remembered the pain killers that the ortho prescribed for my torn ligament. Took one and tried to sit still. Masa tulah Kamil started using his head instead of his mouth. He filled in a bucket with water and asked me to soak my foot in it.

It numbed the pain somewhat and the pain receded by maybe 20%.

"Why are you guys crying ?" He asked our sobbing children. Because they love their mother lah, no need to ask.

The pain was quite bearable by then so Kamil took me to the hospital. Again. Sigh........

The good doctor was very sympathetic. Btw, Kamil did all the talking. Siap cerita pasal the torn ligament on the other leg. Why must he divulge that particular info aku tak tahu.

Doc injected pain killer on my arse and then said, "Jadi ni sudah jatuh di timpa tangga lah ni ya..."

I said, "No doc, sudah jatuh tangga di timpa ironing board..." Hehhehehehehe... Sempat lak buat lawak.

Anyway the way home was more pleasent for me. The oral pain killer and the one administered on my physiatic area must have kicked in but I must say it was not totally gone. The pain was still there but just more managable.

The pain however didn't get to be managed by moi at all around 1 am when I was rudely woken up by this super humongous pain. It was bad, I started wailing. Kamil said, memang lah just tidur. I happened to be sleeping just now okay but the pain woke me up ! Nak tidur apanya ?

I went down to do something but there was nothing I could do. I mean what could I ? Tried the ice but it made it worse some more. The throbs tu yang aku tak tahan tu. Aku berguling trying to take in the pain, sambil-sambil trying to watch the telly to take my mind off it.

Sambil-sambil tu berzikir minta ampun kat Allah as I have been told over and over again sometimes Allah nak cuci dosa. Apalah dosa aku sampai macam tu sekali sakitnya tapi aku reda. Sebab being manusia I could be rather narcissistic by asking apalah dosa aku.... Hhehehehe....

I went upstairs again and terus teringat air yang ustaz made for me when I moved to the house. He said use the air if ada yang demam or something like that so I took one bottle and poured it on my toe. It was a miracle as I couldn't feel the pain. I really couldn't as long as I kept a steady stream on my toe. So I mixed some of the air in the basin that Kamil made for me earlier and tried soaking the throbbing toe. It worked ! Really it did. I could still feel the throbs but the pain was much, much less. Tapi berapa lama I could sit like that ? Plus, bila air dah makin suam, the magic started wearing off.

I took my foot out and somehow, it was morning. Kamil had left for work and my toe was okay.

It is still very much blue now but I didn't feel anything.

Okay while I am writing this, it is beginning to throb again but nothing I couldn't handle. I have the pain killer ready and they better work longer than 2 hours as I could only take it once a day.

So... dua-dua kaki ada masalah. The torn ligament has not fully healed yet and I have to deal with this one pulak.

Aku geleng kepala. Mak aku geleng kepala. And boss aku so far belum kata apa-apa lagi. Kamil.. well I have heard him membebel already.

I mean, what is up with that ? Masa aku dok terloncat-loncat tu he barraged me with a thousand questions. What happened ? How it happened ? What did you do ? Blah, blah, blah... And then he started saying how the nail would come off later and went on and on and on.

What happened to tender loving care ? Kalau tak pun, meraung macam anak-anak aku sebab punya kesian tengok bini tersayang in pain is better than membebel tak tentu pasal.

So... that is my story.

Teenage Angst

One of my favourite bloggers asked me to write about my teenage angst.

I do not know about others, but for me (and my sisters too) I always, always blame my mother for everything.

If a guy I like didn't reciprocate my feelings, I blame my mother for making me ugly. After all I came from her kan ? SO if I am ugly it must be her fault. After all she passed me her jerawat problems didn't she ?

If I felt like I wasn't popular in school, it was because she wouldn't allow me to go out at night like all the popular girls could. Or because she wouldn't buy me cool clothes. Tak habis-habis pakai cullots and bermudas and my rolled up jeans (which my boyfriend si Kamil hated sampai nan la).

If I didn't get good grades, it was Mum's fault because she

a) Didn't send me to my tuition classes so I had to take the bus and because of that I was too tired to concentrate

b)Let my little siblings run riot and therefore the noise they made was a distraction and I could not concentrate (padahal dok busy daydreaming pasal si Kamil...hua hua hua hua)

c) She was too busy with my brother and care more about him so I was busy seething and stewing about it than studying

d) She forced me to take this elective and I have warned her many, many times I could not do it but she wouldn't listen (padahal dia tak cakap apa pun....it was all decided by me)

I believe hormones and stress from school made me like that. I just needed to blame somebody for my problems and she is the closest thing on earth for me to point my finger at. After all, my life depended on her and everything I did was by her laws so if things go wrong, who else to blame ? She was involved in every little details of my life so it made sense to blame her.I wasn't mature enough to look at myself back then. When you are 16-19 you are not calm enough to try rationalise everything. In fact, maturity only knocked on my door yesterday (Kamil would refute that).

Of course those angers were shortlived and when I got back my senses guilt would overwhelm me. But when you are stressed out you just want to shift the blame elsewhere. Itu yang start blaming Mummy for everything under the sun. I would sulk, Mum would ask why and then... big confrontation time. My dad used to call our episodes Small Titan vs Big Titan (Funnily enough I blamed my dad for only a fraction of my problems).

Remember Milli Vanilli's Blame It On The Rain ? Something like that lah. Just want somebody to take the blame as it made life feels a bit better.

And teenage life is very stressful. What could go inside a teenager's mind as she walked from the canteen to her classroom

I don't understand this subject but must pass my flying colours or else I wouldn't get to go to university and thus I wouldn't get to be a doctor... Do I want to be a doctor ? I think ballerina makes more sense because I love those tutus... And then maybe that handsome pengawas would finally notice me.... But then my butt has its own postcode so ada ke tutus yang muat....That is why kot pengawas tu wouldn't even look twice at me.... That damn zit on my nose is getting bigger ! Dare I pop iy ?..Yesterday I saw my bestfriend at the shopping complex with the girl who wanted to steal her and so I am so worried just in case she would stop being my bestfriend...Am I having my period ? Is that why those people are sniggering at me because I have a huge red stain on my back... I think I am going to fail my maths then everybody would laugh at me.... Cikgu just called me stupid in front of everybody tadi. Habislah street cred aku....

Disclaimer : This is just an example. These thoughts never entered the author's mind. Never.


I suppose only moms that are close to their daughters got the brunt of her daughters hormones. You know why ? Because if you are not close to your daughters, too garang and a no nonsense disciplinarian, I do not think your daughters berani nak buat temporary insanity in front of you. Only mak anak with a very ketat bond je experience this kind of thing. People are only brave enough to lash out at people that they are confident of offering them unconditional love. And teenagers are never mature enough to know that stern mothers does not equal bad mothers.

Or you are actually blessed with truly rounded daughters. If that is the case, you are lucky !

Hehhehe.......

I know it doesn't help much. As I really do not know the root cause. But I know this is normal.

You know, before mid-life crisis and menopause, you may have to go through teenage angst first.

Captain Abang

Want to relate what happened 2 weekends ago.

Kak Ezza Muffin Biru kawinkah anak. Since I have never been to her house, I tailed kak Kay of Sembang from behind. Alhamdullilah, kak Kay successfully steered me there.

If I were to go on my own, I think I would never get there. Kamil had to work and I have lost the invitation card so I wouldn't even know where to start !

Anyway, had a lovely time meeting Kak Ezza and Bella and the Superwoman. Kak Yatt was there too and I get to jumpa aunty May. Dah lama sangat tak jumpa Aunty May but she still looked the same.

Anyway I had to leave the kenduri early because had to pick up Kamil from work. He tried taking the LRT to work tapi malas nak balik the same way so I had to drive all the way to KL to get him. Dah kat situ terpaksa lah singgah KLCC and dah because we were already there, I was obliged to spend money. Loads of them. So now, I have to dok diam-diam as money has run out. Parah punya shopping.

My story though happened in the car as I tried to leave Kak Ezza's taman.

"Mum... do you know the way ?" Hmmppph... the perils of having school going children are they know and remember your foibles. And mine is bad sense of direction. Abang has been with me for 10 years so he had almost 10 years of being in a car with me. And experienced countless times of us getting lost while I was behind the wheel.

"Can you find your way out ?" He asked again after I ignored his question.

"I hope so..." Was my very sakit hati reply.

Upon arriving at a junction, I decided to take right. Didn't realise it was a tense moment until I heard Abang breathed out heavily as he exclaimed, "Yes ! I remember this house !"

He has no faith in his mother lah.

I took a left next (after almost turning right)and it was a long and winding road. All the way Abang's body was erect as he studied the street ahead. He was ecstatic when he recognised another landmark. "I remember that lampu Mummy ! The stadium lights !"

HEhehhehe.......

Then he saw a signage to our town. "Left ! Left ! You have to turn left !!" I know lah, little boy. I am not that dense. I could read too !

He saw anotehr signage and again he told me where to turn.

"Mummy, luckily I saw all these signs. I can see very well you know because I have big eyes so I can see a lot of things... I notice things faster....."

Sudahlah kau. Dah tulisan besar-besar, aku pun nampak le....

And you know what he told his Babah afterwards ?

"I navigated Mummy to the way home. If not we would have gotten lost...I saw everything and remember the way home..." He was so proud of his navigation skills, I didn't have the heart to whack his head.

Oh...

Please do not bother spending RM 11 to watch Skyline. Trust me, it was crap. Don't. Kamil didn't believe me and he wasted RM 44 for the 4 of us. You could actually judge a movie by its poster. Hmmmmmmmmmmm........

XYZ in a packet

The day before yesterday, my team mate bought a huge pack of XYZ (I do not have the courage to put down the name of the junk food kegemaran ramai. Satgi kena saman lak). Teringin pulak walaupun it was not something that I usually take.

Anyway as I reached out for one, my mind travelled back oohhh.....many, many years ago (too malu to actually put down a number)and as I opened the packaging, I inadevertantly let out a laugh.

V, whose XYZ I pau-ed remarked, "She likes to laugh..." and so I have to share just in case his remark meant that he thinks I am cuckoo.

Once upon a time, I was in the car with mom picking up my brother from high school, the same one that I went to 3 years after he did. Anyway it was after hours and mom parked her car in front of the main gate, which very, very typical of Malaysian school, was locked.

Aku seriously tak tau why kat Malaysia ni most schools diharamkan guna main gate. Main gate untuk perhiasan saja.

Getting back to the story, there were 3 Indian girls waiting in front of the gate, sitting on a pavement. I was looking at them, terliuq I must add, eating XYZ. They had packs and packs of them okay.

Mum hardly allowed us the luxury of junk food, so that was why le aku terliuq. So there I was watching them not knowing that my mom was watching them too and was getting angrier and more irritated by the minute.

My mother, people, she wind down her window and to my shock and horror started addressing those girls in a firm motherly tone.

"Kenapa makan benda ni ? Racun tau tak benda-benda ni..." I have heard this lecture so many times before but I was never as mortified as this to hear it !! And I wasn't even at the receiving end ! "Nanti sekolah tak pandai sebab otak dah rosak kena racun. Lagi baik you beli buah makan dari makan ini... Mari sini, you bagi saya. Saya ganti balik you punya duit !"

Can you just imagine the shocked faces of those girls ? I remember one had her mouth hanging open with a hand poised at her mouth just about to shove a piece of XYZ goodness.

My mother had to cajole them again and again to hand over the poisons as she so called and finally, finally those girls did ! I didn't know where to hide. As she collected those stuffs from her, she went on and on about how their parents sent them to school hoping they would do well in and here they are poisoning themselves.

She handed them money and then mercifully my brother arrived.

Gila tak ?

I mean, I wonder why I am crazy ?

hehheheheheheheh....

I am sleepy...

Today was a sleepy day at the PG office. Yesterday we checked in the hotel as soon as we arrived but then we just dumped our bags in our respective rooms and quickly head to the office.

So how would I know that when I finally entered my room at 9.30 pm after gruelling, gruelling work and dinner, that the air-cond would be blowing almost hot air. But because I was too bone weary, I ignored it and slept. Entah kenapa around midnight it stopped working all together. I tried ignoring it but it got stuffier and stuffier so I had to call for help.

Dah malam2 cuma ada receptionist and pak guard and after she godek2 a bit I had to call her back 10 minutes after she left my room. Tak jadi pun. It still wouldn't work. I was assigned to a new room with air conditioning that acted as it should but my windows pulak was facing a huge karaoke outlet.

So eventhough now I have a nice cool room, my ears were assaulted with boom boom boom.

So, which is the lesser evil ? Stuffy room or a noisy one ?

Of course today I was like a zombie.

Can't concentrate.

My mind wasn't working. During meeting pun I was quiet. Rest is important, children. Remember that. Get your 8 hours, okay. For your sanity.

Time like this I miss my ex-boss. He would've asked me to catch a few winks to freshen me up. He'd always maintained that unless I spend 10 minutes napping, I would have wasted 2-3 hours being unproductive.

So true. So true.

Yikes ! It is almost 11 so I must turn in now.

If the karaoke people have the decency to tutup kedai by midnight lah.

Yawnnnnnn....

I saw myself in 20 years time

Yesterday was Deepavali so Happy Deepavali to those who celebrate it. So it was a holiday and we as usual went to our favourite braksfats haunt to.. well get breakfast ! Ha !

Anyway while we were there, I saw a friend's mom busy tapau-ing food. Looking at the numbers of foam boxes she filled and other stuffs she packed I surmised she was buying for her whole house.

I don't know why the sight of her filled me with pity. Maybe because I always see her alone. Maybe because I see her do that alone almost every week, tapau-ing for her family. When I searched my memory, I remember seeing her with her family only twice. And I once saw her daughter there with her in-laws without this makcik.

Am I going to start deriding my friend ? Scorning and pointing my finger at her for not taking care of her mum ?

Nope. Because I do not know the real story. Because maybe she likes doing it.

My mom loves to menyusahkan diri dia for us. She actually buys my ikan for me. Especially now since I am always out-stationed she would inspect the contents of my freezer and if it is not filled to the brim, she would volunteer herself for the job of replenishing my supplies.

Last week she called to say that she has nasi lemak ready and when I got home, there was sambal sotong and bilis. I mean... why lah ? I could have taken her out for breakfast. Si Kamil pun dia call to mai makan when the man is at work. He called me while I was busy stuffing my face. "You makan nasi lemak kat rumah Mummy ye ?" Malam when he returned home he asked, "So.... Adik makan nasi lemak kat rumah Tok ke ?" heheheheh.. Jealous ke darling ?

The night before she called to say that she made steamboat and announced that she had just plunged the goodies into the hot boiling soup.

What ? Call me before the thing is ready lah. I could have helped you. Pegi beli fishballs ke hapa ke. Ini tidak she called me to just come and eat. Aku rasa kalau aku nganga mulut she would feed me willingly.

And because of that aku kesian. Bersusah payah for her kids. Why ? She wants to feel wanted ? And needed ?

She feels that the only reason we would come home of there are food on the table ? You know while we were there, she made drinks and poured them in our glasses. Layan cucu and menantu makan, topping our bowls and all.

Pernah sekali aku nak test dia. So while eating I told her teringin makan bubur gandum. And bubur gandum appeared on her table the next day. Nasib baik next day kalau dan dan tu jugak aku rasa aku pengsan kot.

HEhehehehehe..........

So... that is why aku kesian dengan makcik tu. Dragging her feet (she was a bit) to do what she knows best, feeding and nurturing her family while they still want her.

Sigh.......

Tactics Adik

While I am on the net reading a British daily, lying on my stomach, Adik was (is still is) next to me, her head on my arms as we read together. She would sometimes rubbed her nose on my arms a few times before returning to the screen.

Just like her Babah. He loves to rub his itchy nose on me. Nothing else could take the itch off like my skin. Ha ha.

Anyway, I remember one day this very smart little girl asked me, "Are you happy, Mummy ?" I said yes and, "Because I am the only person in this whole wide world ada little girl nama Adik...."

She beamed with plesure and curiosity. "Why do you say that ?"

"Yelah, there is only one Adik in this whole wide world and I am the lucky one Allah chose to be her mother.... I am sooooo happy because of that..."

And she smiled the whole day.

Anyway last night she called to inform me of her results. About 6 subjects over 90% but then, 70% for Bahasa. I questioned her in a very, very firm tone and she answered with, "Mummy tahu tak dadi ada budak lelaki ni nama A and then dia pukul saya ! Sakit tau ! Sampai saya rasa nak muntah..."

Tactics to deviate my attention from her terrible marks. I just let it slide lah because I was in Johor and I didn't want her to be anxious waiting for my return... or even worse her wishing that I delay my return until I have forgotten all about it!

When she informed her Babah afterwards, she slyly made no mention of her BM. Upon Babah asking, she said, "Ohh.... Tak dapat lagi...."

Hmmmmm.........

SO when I returned home, in front of her Babah I asked for her full results. She blushed and laughed nervously then mumbled and left.

Hai lah.........

Problem lagi

This morning a colleague asked whether I am going anywhere nice during this long weekend.

Sedih aku dengar.

I really want to but Kamil ni susah sikit. He doesn't like to travel one thing. The other thing is he is sooooooo busy with work. Especially since he just joined his new outfit.

He would only contemplate about leaving his office at 9pm. Usually he would arrive home about 9.30 to 10. I pity my kids. Evey night they would complain that Babah isn't home. Mak pulak is outstation.

And it is soooo hard to get him. Phone calls are usually unanswered. Sometimes I felt like flinging my phone in frustration.

Of course I would sometime (sometime ? hah !) think that "Is this guy really at work ?" I mean if it is 8pm and you could not answer your phone then do not blame me if I start to be convinced of other unpleasant things.

Okay.. sorry..... Out of topic pulak.

Anyway, Mum planned to go back to Penang for Raya Haji. Excited giler dengar because I love Penang. But then the problem lies with my husband lah if he can take time off. I hope he could because I need a break.

All these traveling and being apart from my family has taken a toll on my mood and body. Mood of course not good and body feels so damn tired. Maybe it is my leg. It is throbbing now. Am very reluctant to take pain killers but who am I trying to kid ?

Anyway, Abang informed me that si Janggut passed away. Hehehhe......... Our cat G gave birth to 5 more kittens about a month ago. 1 died after was run over by a car. Who was the behind the wheels ? It wasn't me so......

2 went missing. I didn't even know who catnapped them or if they became runaways but 1 day I just noticed that I could only see 2.

Now si Janggut took his last breath about late afternoon so now tinggal lah adik dia si Hitam (he is soooooo not black.. It is a mixture of dark brown and black).

I am not going to lie and say that I was ecstatic with their births. 5 ! I of course despaired at the thought of having 8 cats of varying ages and sizes running around the house and desecrating and consecrating it at the same time but I was planning to give them away to respectable and loving homes. I don't want them to go like this !

Tapi G kan has been very unlucky with her babies. Her first birth produced 2 kittens which went missing suddenly. She spent the whole day looking for them, calling them with forlorn meows that broke our hearts. Then she gave birth to N and that was it. Aku yang rasa rugi perut memboyot tak hengat punya sekali keluar 1.

Ini elok2 ada 5 sekali tinggal 1.

Apa lah nasib ko G.

Which reminds me Kamil has to take her to the vet to be spayed. Dah jadi bohsia our street dah minah tu.

Hissshhhh !

Masalah2 aku

I am too tired today.

The gammy leg didn't do me any favours as my movements are slow and when I walk in a group I have to drag my feet faster. It is hurting a bit and I of course am imagining the worse.

Staying at a new hotel. Well new in the sense that we are not at our staple hotel. Fully booked that one so we have to stay at a hotel further than the office but swankier.

Swankier pun all of us were given windowless rooms. It is cosy though and a nice change from where we usually stayed. But jauhlah and jalan jam pulak tu.

In terms of Astro, it only provides AXN and Star Movies. And for 2 days when I could finally settle down to watch the telly, they showed Amazing Race. I hate Amazing Race. So... there goes my only way to relax.

Katil kecik. Heheheh.... Everybody complained. Everybody claimed they slept with their feet dangling ergo sleepless night. Since I am vertically challenged, I slept like a baby. HAHHAHHAHAHAH.... The only pro for being short.

Work is hard. Everybody has team mates. I don't. I have to do my work scope alone. Hmmm.... Well my boss lends a hand from time to time but because we have 3 teams (sort of le as aku solo kan)therefore there are 3 objectives so he is a bit stretched.

Oh... bought a few tudungs just now. The kind that my husband doesn't like. I will only wear them when I am here, which is half of the time, so his eyes would not be sore from seeing me in it. Banyak songeh lak mamat tu.

I miss my babies.

And my husband has been neglecting to touch base.

So... aku meroyan.

Oh yeah, I think I chose the wrong combination of outfits for Thursday. They don't look flattering at all. Swithing the Wednesday baju with Thursday seluar didn't work. I did try to find a replacement but this is... well... this is here. Where got baju that is worth my money ?

Don't have.

So tambah aku meroyan.