Karangan tension

Yesterday I was at Abang’s primary school for some errand. While waiting for the clerk to come and sort me out, I sat at there, looking around.. ho-humming, well you get the drift, I heard the Deputy Headmistress talked on the phone.

From the conversation I gathered that a friend, who I had the impression is also a teacher, is in a right mess. Her husband is having an affair and today is the day where she actually found out that it is true. The DH was consoling her, telling her to be patient, not to fight but talk to her husband nicely to ascertain her position in his life.

Kesian aku dengar. I couldn’t imagine what the girl on the other side is feeling. Itulah lelaki. Bila ada yang elok sikit aje terus nak. Padahal punya lah banyak orang lelaki lain yang tak kawin lagi, tapi depa nak jugak walaupun they are effectively taken. Tamak sungguh. Kalau hang betui-betui ikhlas, pi lah bagi kat orang lain yang belum ada sapa-sapa.

Heh… macam nak bagi anak kucing je yek… aku ni pun.

I feel that it is so unfair when men do this. They always say takpa I will be fair. Kita take turns. Tapi yang bestnya depa. Every day they will have a bed mate. Sedangkan bini akan ada masa tiduq sorang. Lagi lah bini pertama yang dok hari-hari ada kawan tiduq sebelah tapi tiba-tiba kawan tiduq tu kena catu pulak. Rela hati mencatu diri sendiri.

Adil kah tu ? Yang seronok laki tu saja, yang bini tak seronok pun. Itu yang namanya sayang ? Aku bosan bila dengar orang kata, well I still love my wife. Then, if you do love your wife, why do you this ? Why you allow her to berendam ayaq mata sebab hang ? Why you sampai hati biaq dia tiduq sorang while you berseronok-seronok dengan orang lain ? Aku tak paham. That is not love.

What is not love is also husbands that beat their wives. The one that I don’t understand is the wives that actually stayed. I still love him, katanya.

Ya tuhan. Sayang apakah itu kalau hang biru-biru lebam ? Setiap kali dia tumbuk hang, sayang kah itu ? Setiap kali dia sepak hang, sayang kah itu ?

Oh tak, lepas tu dia mesti menyesal and peluk aku balik. Lepas tu nanti dia akan letak ubat……

Oh bestnya.  You are so lucky to have a husband that loves you so much, he administered meds to your bruises right after he made them. Oh, please don’t forget the apologies and the hugs ! You are a lucky SOB.

Is it too much to ask for you to leave ? I am just afraid that one day while he punched you in the head with so much love, you actually crumpled and die. That is all.

Yeah, as you could have guessed, I am in a situation where I am trying to get somebody that I love and care about to leave the anak haram she calls husband.

Women, huh ?

Anyway once I attended a meeting with an American principle in Singapore. That was my third meeting with them. We first met in KL first, then in Bangkok where they have an office and then in Singapore for the Oil and Gas Exhibition. By that time, I have gotten to know the MD quite well. We were chatting during the exhibition and I don’t remember why the conversation suddenly turned this way, but somehow we discussed about fidelity.

He said infidelity is not a crime. Nowhere in the world is it a crime. It is just what society dictates but never the law. Nobody has ever been jailed due to fidelity alone. I remember this incident too well as I could see his big blue eyes boring into me, as if by doing that I would be convinced. His right hand was hitting his left palm as he was talking to stress his points.

I remember afterwards, we walked by the riverside to have lunch somewhere. His Thai secretary held my be the arm and whispered, “He has a lot of girlfriends in Bangkok. Before he goes home he always give me his condoms to keep for next time !” She giggled as she talked then she said, “Men… they can come from any country and all of them are the same…” she then stuck out her tongue to him.

Heheh…

Of course not all men are like that. However I pity those women who are unfortunate enough to be married to men like that. All those heartbreak and the tears and then the kids ! The kids will definitely be affected.

Yesterday, the papers in the UK reported of a suicide committed by a young lady. She threw herself from a high building, killing not only herself but the baby inside her belly. They then went to her home and found the bodies of her three children, aged 11 months, 2 and 3.

Why all this madness ? Because they man she loved and her kids worshipped left her (and in a way, the kids too) for another woman.

Tragic. Utterly tragic.

Tak habis lagi ni… one more. I have friend who was in this kind of mess about 3-4 years ago. Her husband had wanted to marry another and she was doing all her might to stop him. Well all her might worked because he broke it off with the other person. Do you know what her husband said ? “Sampainya hati tengok Abang putus cinta… Sampai hati tengok Abang merana macam ni… Awak memang tak sayang kat Abang….”

Can you guys believe this ? The cheek of that guy ? Tak payah lah aku ceritakan what the harassed wife retorted in return. I am sure you know what she said.

Ha ha !

Aku seorang petani berjaya... kuangx3

About last week I asked Adik what did she tell people I do for a living. She said, Auditor lah !

Okay, next time Adik tambah petani berjaya, okay ? Because....

Tengok ni pokok cili kat depan rumah...

Merendeh-rendeh dengan cili. Belum masak lagi.. ada satu aje yang dah merah.

Punya penuh dan bersesak-sesak, sampai ada yang terjatuh.

Depan rumah, ada ubi kayu. In the middle of my palm trees. Sungguh tak vogue tau !!

Depan rumah ada lagi cili dah daun kesum sebelah kanan nun.

Lemon tree ni aku tanam. Dah setahun lebih dah tapi tak pernah berbuah. Sebelah lemon tree ni aku tak tau apa benda.

Itu dia, more ubi kayu.

And in between the ubi kayus are more daun kesum and kangkong. And more ubi kayu. A baby one, though. 

In between these ubi kayus are more chillies and more ubi kayu... 

And more rows of chillies. No fruits yet, though.

The limau kasturis flanking the small pasus were planted by me. But dalam small pasus tu, I am not sure what they are... Hmmm....

Serai by me, pisang by me but the ubi kayu ? Nope, not me.

Inilah gambar pokok buluh si Kamil yang telah di massacred oleh Bibik. Masih togel macam tuan dia... kuang X 3. Karapule tu aku tanam. The rows of chillies at the back definitely not me.

Dah sampai balik dah pokok cili yang mula-mula tadi. Banyak na... ?

Ini pun telah ditanam oleh sesuatu. I have no idea what they are.

But budak ni macam bapak dia. Asyik-asyik nak membangkang. Tak mau langsung go with the flow sebab she said, "Tapi bukan Mummy yang tanam. Bibik. You didn't do anything...."

Setelah aku pejam mata erat-erat untuk mengumpulkan segala kesabaran yang ada di dalam dunia ini (especially sebab si Kamil dah gelak guling-guling), aku cakap, "Well, it is my house. And I paid her... So... the petani berjaya is me, okay ?"

Dia cebek mulut, langsung tak terima apa aku cakap.

Jaga kau...

Anyway, ini lah keje bibik aku. It seems that she really likes chillies and ubi kayu. One of the ubi kayus dah matang, so she made kerepek and rebus some. Bila aku balik, tu dia berbalang-balang kerepek. Next day came the ones yang pedas. After that satu periuk ubi kayu rebus siap ngan gula and kelapa dah digaul. Garam dia letak tepi because, "Bibik ngak suka yang bergaram tapi takut kakak sukak..."

Aku siap bawak pi office and makan sejuk-sejuk. Kenyang satu hari.

Kamil paling tension tengok ubi kayu depan rumah tu. Dia suruh aku pi cakap ngan bibik, suruh cabut. Tapi aku tak sampai hati. Penat dia tanam... Kang merajuk kang. Aku suh dia cakap sendiri tapi tak buat pun. Tak sampai hati kann... Hehehhehe.

So.. kesudahnnya, sesiapa yang tetiba takdak cili, mai lah rumah. Bawak lah bakul and berangan lah seperti memetik apples kat US.

Nak masak laksa, mai lah rumah dan cantaihlah daun kesum itu. Aku pun tak tau nak buat apa dengan daun kesum banyak-banyak...

Anyway aku dah encourage dia tanam sawi and more kangkong. And nenas. I love nenas.

Sekian, karangan bergambar ku.

PS : Ada tak ahli botanist yang nampak tumbuhan yang tak boleh ditanam, ie. ganja ka, ketum ka ... Aku bukannya kenai wei... Satgi tak pasai-pasai kena..

Boring Sunday wei !

I am in bed right now, watching Grimm and blogging at the same time.

Kids are in bed. It is after all 10 pm.

Kamil is downstairs with one eye watching the telly and the other doing his office work. Untuk pengetahuan, I just shut down my office laptop. Sigh... We are so busy with work this weekend, we didn't get to have our anniversary dinner. Insya-Allah, we will try next week.

I told Kamil that I want to go where I can have desserts. And the choice of desserts must be plenty. And it has to be Italian. Hahahah... biar lah dia pening kepala. There was one anniversary where he actually cooked. Pasta marinara he made which I have to admit was a rather good attempt. The only blighter was the sweetness that came from the apple juice. To substitute the wine required in the recipe, he said.

Hahahhaah. But it was nice, and romantic. We dressed up and all, which was rather comical because we didn't know what to do afterwards. Maybe celebrating anniversaries are not Melayus kind of thing. 

Anyway last night we had dinner with our uncle. There were 30 of us gathered together and it was fun. Only 3 of my cousins made it, plus their families and itupun dah 30 orang. If everybody could come, we might have to sewa the whole restaurant.

Alamak, seramlah pulak cerita Grimm ni. Pasal hantu perempuan culik budak-budak to replace her dead children.

Okay, averting my eyes away from the telly now....

After the dinner, kami adik-beradik pegi karaoke. I sent my kids and nieces home and off we went in one car. My not even 2 year old nephew ikut sekali. We had so much fun sampai suara aku serak-serak as usual. Melompat-lompat dan terkinja-kinja.... kalau nenek aku tengok tu mesti kami masuk Harian Metro. 

And today, a Sunday before Monday...? Well.. after Kamil and I lamented on why it is not Saturday, we went to pasar, had breakfast and then pegi Sunway Pyramid because laki aku nak pegi Marks and Spencer. Baru aje balik dari London dah nak pegi M&S lagi. I bought stuffs nonetheless, sebab tengah sale. It was cheaper dari London pulak tu because I managed to get Minimiser bras for RM70 a pop. And a very nice checked shirt for RM69.

I collect checked shirts. Not because I like them but because Kamil likes me in them. Seriously. Dia memang rimas dengan blouses yang embroidered and looked difficult. He prefers clean cut, straight to the point. That is why you will always find me in polo t-shirts and checked shirts. He tolerates my penchant for tunics, as long as they do not have much embroidery.

Okay, enough of that. Then balik where we both fired up our laptops. Then pegi Giant beli barang lagi. And now here I am.

Bosannya kan ? 

Anniversary of being together

Today Kamil and I celebrate our err... 20th or 21st year of being together. Not marriage, mind you.  Why 20th or 21st ? Well, we can't remember exactly when did we start our relationship !

Crazy, huh. Although I have to say that I have an inkling that it is our 20th. Girls know these things. Boys... not so much. Kamil wanted to go somewhere nice and Italian so we searched the internet and found quite nice places to go and eat.

However, semalam my eldest cousin sms-ed to say that his dad, my Bab wants to take us all out for a huge dinner. Nampak gayanya esok aje lah kami pegi.

Both Kamil and I have changed greatly. He lost his hair and put on 10 pounds. I still keep my hair but put on like 20 pounds... or even more ! Hahahha

I seriously don't know how we do it. But I am glad that we did. I love him so and I really hope he loves  me as much.

Oh ! Lupa nak cerita. About 2-3 days ago I called him during lunch to rant and rave about something. He cut me mid-rant to say he is having lunch and will call me after. Sekali malam tu dengan muka kesian nan penuh syahdu he told me, "I didn't have lunch or breakfast today... so I lapar....."

Aku pejam mata kuat-kuat sebelum aku bukak mulut. Kenapa dia masih buat perangai lama ? Apakah motifnya ? Ha ? Ha ? Ha ?

Tension tau !

Anyway yesterday my boss called around 6pm. He said he has something to tell me. Dub dab dub dab auk until he said, "Zaleha (his secretary) tumpang saya !" and promptly gelak. I could hear Kak Leha mengekek-ngekek gelak sekali. Aisehman buat lawak pulak. But still I laughed the loudest sebab I was so glad that he was not telling me something not good.

After his laughter subsided, he reminded me that I have only 2 weeks left with him. Then, "I am going to keep a vacancy for you, okay ? You and me anytime, okay ? Anytime, man. Manalah tahu you have no chemistry with your new boss ?"

Sigh..... parting is hard but I know he will be okay without me. After all he did manage his new team for a year without me.

And seriously, I know I will disappoint him one day so better I go while he thinks so highly of me.

Kan ?

Kan ?

Errr.....

Perihal masak

Cakap pasal masak (again..), the day we were scheduled to leave for London, we went around to visit our respective parents.

MIL asked me what we are having for dinner. I told her I cooked and she promptly said, "Ohh... kau tak kerja hari ni..." No... I told her, I went to work. But I still cook. I have always cooked for my children, mak no matter if I was working that day or not.

She knows me. I used to live with her. She knows that I cook. Sometimes aku tension bila orang yang sepatutnya kenal aku, macam tak kenal. My colleague at my old outfit pun kenal aku. She knows that I make my own bed. I am very anal about that really sebab mak aku kata malu kat orang kalau katil pun Bibik kemas kan. So I make my bed. Everyday...

Therefore hari tu bila ada orang yang sepatutnya kenal aku mencanagkan kat orang yang aku ni punya lah pemalas, katil sendiri pun tak kemas, aku nangis. Sebab aku tahu dia tu yang tak kemas katil walaupun dia tak kerja. Kenapa she chose to attack me with that pun aku tak tau.

Eh.. terkeluar tajuk.

Anyway, bila sampai rumah mak aku, I straight away asked, "Ada momom ?" Sebijik macam Bapak aku. He never asks is there food, or ada makan dak, or ada nasik dak ? He asks ada momom dak ? Hhehehe......

Mak aku looked a bit affronted because she thought she had nothing on the day her daughter asked to be fed. Then....she visibly brightened up and said, ada gulai nenas. Her body immediately relaxed. Hahhahah........

Sedapnya makan gulai nenas mak kita masak. It was ssooooo sweet, so tart, sooo sedap lah. The moment I clapped my eyes on the yellow kuah tinged with red aku dah rasa nostalgic sangat. I could already imagined its taste. Sedap mak kita masak. Rasa so well loved, so taken care of, so important.

Gila kan ? Tapi that is what my mom makes me feel.

Tapi aku ni ada kureng sikit perangai. Mak aku ni dia ada perangai yang orang lain rasa kelakar tapi kami adik beradik rasa sangat tension. Mummy kalau nak ajak kami pergi mana-mana, she would not say it straight. She will say things like, "Kau tak rasa nak pegi KL ke hari ni ?" or "Ada plan ke nak pegi Ikea ?"

Kami sangat tension because it is easier to ask, "Bawak Mummy pegi KL/Ikea/tengok Bab" dari buat kami terkedu dengan soalan-soalan yang begitu. Dulu-dulu, selalunya aku akan tercengang when she posted questions like that because it made me feel like I have promised her that I will but have forgotten all about it thus compelling me to take her.

Come to think of it, sebenarnya... trick bagus tu... Kuangx3. Tak plan nak pegi pun tapi terpaksa pegi.

Anyway, lelama dah biasa, aku akan saja cakap, "Tak." And this time dia pulak terkedu. Hehheheh..... But.. lepas tu aku akan say nicely lah i.e. Tak lah.. Ada hal lain... or Kalau nak jom lah... or whatever yang sesuai.... Don't worry.

Anyway, we arrived from Paris about 6 am and by 8 am dah sampai rumah. Tup tup pukul 1.45 pm her car drove in and out she came with my nieces, fresh out of school.

After aku dakap anak-anak menakan aku, my Mom who was walking slowly arrived at the door and said, "Laaa.... kau dah balik ke ? Ingat tak balik lagi...."

Sigh.... Ini pun nak buat trick ke ? She doesn't have to say anything, you know. She doesn't have to explain why she is there. She is my MOTHER  so she can come and go as she pleases.

So aku pun, being aku, saja said, "Dah tu buat apa datang ?" Hehhehe....

"Tak.. Mummy ni nak tanya Bibik ko ni ha..... pasal anak sedara dia yang nak mai kerja kat sini... Jadi ka ?"

Aduhai lah ibu ku. Awat lah nak kena berselindung macam tu. It is okay if you just want to come and see me, you know. Selalunya tak payah pun mai carik Bibik. Call aje dah boleh. Hari ni lak nak mai bersua muka.

So.. aku dakap dia pulak. So that she knows that I want her to come, and I am so very glad she came and so that she doesn't have to think of ideas to justify her coming... or asking us to take her places.

Sayang, Mummy. Malam ni buat sambal sotong yang ada kacang tu, boleh dak ? Ala lapaq...

Dah lama benar agaknya aku tak masak...

Semalam boss aku call dalam pukul 9 malam. Mengadu domba. Sian dia.

And then he came into the crux of the matter. He has spoken to my new boss and I think she wouldn’t allow him to keep me any longer. I have to move to my new division by 2 May.

Sigh… And then he started again. And I have to listen and was wrecked with guilt the whole night.

Pagi tadi dia call aku lagi. Mengadu lagi.

Yang heran, both semalam and pagi tadi he ended our conversation with, “Thanks for lending your ear..”

Eh ? Tak pernah-pernah pun cakap macam tu. Even masa dia tukar division lain pun, he still called me to talk and rant and rave. Tapi tak pernah lak dia cakap terima kasih. Ini bila aku lak yang tukar division, dia pegi cakap macam tu pulak.

Sedih aku.

Nak buat macam mana. Bukannya aku tak sayang dia. Aku seriously sayang all of my ex-bosses. Errmm… except for one. Penipu besar tu aku tak sayang. Oh.. hati ku masih panas membara rupanya. Tapi sesiapa yang pernah aku panggil boss (kecuali si dia yang botak licin dan mangkuk ayun itu), I have deep respect and love for them.

However, I have to grow. And this is the only way for me to grow. I am near 40 now (YIKES !!) and I have to move on.

I am thinking of leaving actually. I talked about it to another division boss but she told me I that I have to stay. I am very obedient. So I am staying. And declined the other job offer. The one that suits me more. Cuma.. well… heheheheh…. I am well averse of travelling to KL. Buang masa aku trapped in a jam, ber jam-jam on the road sedangkan masa tu aku boleh gunakan untuk masak ke, baca buku ke ….

Talking about masak, sejak balik dari holiday aku belum ke dapur lagi. As soon we entered KLIA, the first thing Adik tanya was apa aku nak masak hari ni. I needed all the strength I could muster to stop me from pelangkung kepala dia.

But then day after day they asked if I was cooking. Not even lunch at Mahbub could stop them from asking what I am cooking for dinner. I got the hint, so semalam I made a simple pasta with sundried tomato pesto. Aku rasa macam tak jadi aje tapi budak-budak ni berebut-rebut nak makan.

Bibik pulak bila tengok pinggan Abang dah licin, terus dia angkat basuh while Abang looked the other way to get something for Kamil. When he turned around, his plate was gone.  He saw pinggan Adik dah licin, he put his second helping on her plate while her head was turned. When she turned back, Abang was wolfing down spaghetti on her plate. She was confused. Then she looked in the serving bowl and confusion turned into dismay sebab there were none left.

Some body started pushing and then words were exchanged. Adik then stormed off and came back with a fresh fork. She started digging in from the same plate. Abang started to shovel food in his mouth.

I closed my eyes and started walking to my room.

Bila terkenang

My mouth is painful today. 3 ulcers yang tengah ranum. Satu tu location dia sangat strategic sebab asal aku bukak mulut nak bercakap, mesti terlanggar ngan gigi. Nampak nar kebonengan aku.. huhu...

To add salt to the wound, my tonsil is inflamed. Dah nak menelan payah.. And the combination of the ulcers and inflamed tonsil buat muka aku bengkak. Bulat habis. Segan aku nak keluar pegi kerja tadi. Tapi Alhamdullilah semua orang nampak it as bengkak and not tembam...

Anyway hari tu aku lalu satu taman ni... Sikit punya kotor. Ini lah anak bangsa ku yang tak reti-reti nak membuang sampah. I do not know about their parents, but I know our schools teach on the importance of keeping clean. Apatah lagi my religion yang equate cleanliness to holiness... or something like that.

I could never litter. I could never scroll down the car window to campak sampah kat luar.

Which reminds me of childhood.. as usual.. Haha.

Masa aku kecik-kecik, bapak aku selalu bawak kami adik-beradik pi tasik Shah Alam, to jog sambil kutip sampah. Armed with plastik sampah, we will go around the tasik collecting other people's litter, other people's mess.

Masa mula-mula dulu aku segan jugak, tapi dah lama-lama aku dah biasa. And even sekarang I wouldn't mind bending down and picking up any rubbish to be thrown in the bin. So, I was trained well by my bapak, who hates kekotoran especially at public places.

But.... this cerita reminded me of episode pilu kena kutuk and gelak ngan kakak ipar aku. When she found out about us going around collecting rubbish, dia kata rumah sendiri pun kotor nak pegi kemas tasik. Baik korang bersihkan rumah sendiri dulu.

Sedih kan ?

Dia jugak yang paling banyak kutuk aku bila aku start boikot barang-barang Zionist, 10 years ago. Bagi aku, suka hati lah aku nak buat apa. Aku tak pernah suruh dia buat sekali. Aku cuma tak nak be in a situation where bila Allah tanya aku, what have I done to help my Palestinians brothers and sisters, I couldn't give a satisfactory answer. Ini sajalah yang aku mampu buat. Furthermore, aku sangat-sangat belas dengan dia orang ni. So... aku macam tak sanggup if 10 sen duit aku is used to buy bullets to kill them.

But... itu lah orang.

Sekarang ni, dah makin ramai dah buat. Alhamdullilah. Tapi ustaz aku pesan, sebelum aku boikot, aku kena make sure betul-betul depa ni penyokong Zionist. Nanti jadi prejudis and timbul fitnah. Itu pun dosa.

Wokey, ustaz.

Merepek ketika semua orang tak bangun lagi....

Dah pukul 9.30 ni and seisi rumah aku belum jugak bangun lagi. Mak aku kata awat teruknya jet lag ? Sabik seminggu ? Hehehehhe.....

Aku sebenarnya agak terkilan that my trip kali ni tak dapat nak tunaikan pesanan quite a lot of people. Like I said, aku tak jumpa kedai. Not just because the shops banyak dah tutup and relocated probably, but also because the freaky cold weather (apparently, the prolonged winter is making a lot of people worry about the hibernating animals, i.e. hedgehogs and all. Takut tak bangun terus agaknya) made it impossible for me to go around and search for the stores.

Our trip to Oxford pun was cut short because there wasn't anywhere we can hide from the cold. When it snowed, haaa..... terus cari bas to take us back to the train station.

The kids weren't having much fun. Kat Eiffel Tower pun we spent a lot of time menyorok at a vending van, minum more hot chocs and eating belgian waffles. We admired the tower from the van. We forced ourselves to finish off the waffles sebab....

Kamil commented tu dia aiih.... 20 ngit punya waffles. The kids and I who are very, very conscious dengan Kamil yang tak suka tengok pembaziran, berusaha habiskan jugak. Resultnya, we all had chocolatey teeth and my white gloves were smeared with chocolate stains. Sungguh tak elegant. Sebab itu jugaklah aku malu nak tangkap gambaq ngan Liz Hurley bila kami terserempak dengan dia under the tower.

She is superbly gorgeous. Breathtaking. Malu aku dengan kependekan and ke-tak-vogue-an aku, seperti yang tertera di bawah;

See ? How can aku yang begitu, stand next to her yang begini ?

Okaylah, admittedly she had more clothes on, it was cold.. And she wasn't in that pose..... She was walking with her son... But you get what I mean...

Masalah makan

So... Hmmm...... Macam tak ada nafsu aje nak menulis kat sini. Kamil dah chop the telly, and I have nowhere else to go but here. So sad. Seriously, I can live without the internet. I only ever use it for reading the Daily Mail and here.. Other than that, well Wikipedia mostly. FB jarang--jarang...

So... here I am because the telly is boring, I have finished my book and my kids are ... hmmm.... where are they ? Probably hanging out with my cousin who is living with us. Kesian aku tengok sepupu aku tu kadang-kadang. Bila balik aje, sah-sah anak aku serbu.

Anyway, what to tell about our trip apart from its weather ??

London has changed. I couldn't find the shops I wanted at Oxford St anymore. Couldn't see a single Bally when dulu there were like 2 on that road. Boots tinggal satu aje. No Virgin Megastore nor Laura Ashley. No more Bella Pasta anywhere !! That was most disappointing.

Speaking about food, we had problem with our food from the get go. We stopped by our favorite patisserie on Regent St and ordered 4 hot chocolates. They were huge. All in all, I think the 4 of us drank the equivalent of 2 cups. So at the next stop for hot chocolate, we ordered 2 cups. And it was really 2 cups sebab tak cukup. Hahah...

Lunch at Leicester Square, we had individual pizzas with chips. They were huge and again we only ate the equivalent of 2 servings. We then had lunch the very next day at a fish and chips shop next to the pizza place and ordered 2 normal sized serving and 1 large serving for Adik and I to share. Since the difference was only about 2 pounds, aku ingat it meant the fish was larger. It turned out the fish was doubled. And the single serving ? They were huge enough for 2 to share. So we had the equivalent of 6  servings and only ate about 3.

Masalah sungguh. I hate to see wasted food.

Dekat Paris pulak, we stayed at a hotel that was about 10 minutes walk from the Louvre. It is situated in a very nice square where people milled about and socialised. We agreed that we will explore the square on our last day.

Eating in Paris wasn't easy, not because of anything but Kamil. There were so many nice and quaint brasseries, restaurants and cafes littered on the streets of Paris but satu pun Kamil tak mau masuk. We went to McDonald's and Hard Rock Cafe. Aku bukan apa, I remember the time we holidayed in Brussels, at a time Kamil was more adventurous. We found this restaurant that served the best seafood paella I have ever tasted ever ! And they also made the freshest and uber delicious grilled seafood. And I like that. I like us going around sampling local food (although agak tension making sure the paella does not contain any porcine-y elements).

Aku berjaya jugak beli cupcakes and cookies (tak sedap.. seriously) but those were the only closest thing I came to Parisian food. But...bila when we explored the square near our hotel, the streets were lined with shops selling baguette sandwiches, crepes and what-nots. And yang paling best, they were halal !

So our last dinner in beautiful Paris baru I had the chance to have crepes filled with delicious bolognese sauce (yeah.. a bit Italian, tapi tak pelah) and my kids had sandwiches, with authentic baguettes. Not saying that the baguettes kat Malaysia ni tak authentic.. (they probably aren't), tapi kalau dah diuli oleh French, surely I have to put the authentic there... heheh.

Sayang... I would have wanted to sample the rest of the menus.

Just checking in

Hello...

Baru balik....

Feels a bit sad. Rasa macam baru semalam I smelt London air... It was soo familiar. It was sooooo cold too. Too cold it harmed our skins. Abang had rashes all over his body, looked like he was used as an ashtray. Luckily Babah dia tak hisap rokok. Kalau tak free aje kena tuduh...

It was too harsh, the weather. We weren't expecting it at all. It snowed. Although it didn't stick but still it snowed. We couldn't do much walking or sightseeing because it was too much.

Paris wasn't better. We just had a cursory look of the famous tower before we rushed to find somewhere warmer.

The reason we chose March on account of it being spring. Who would know that it is still winter ?

I am knackered. We arrived at 6 am and at 2.30 we had to take Adik to sit for her piano exam. Hopefully she managed to do well what with her jet lag and all.

Until next time yeah ?

Maybe with pictures.

Yawn......

Adik

Today Kamil and I had lunch with an old friend from Uni. We had lunch at the Curve, sambang-sembang and catching up.

Walaupun we had lunch at 12.30 but we were full until dinner so the kids had dinner at home with Bibik while Kamil and I went out to shop for currencies. Balik rumah, the dynamic duo belum tidur lagi. So aku pun duduk lah melepak dengan dia orang, sembang-sembang while watching the telly.

Now, I haven't been to the loo for three days already and thus, my tummy is not feeling right. Rasa macam senak ada, macam gassy ada... madam-macam lah.

So I commented in general, "Sakit lah perut...."

Adik asked, "Where did you have dinner just now ?"

I didn't, I replied.

"Why ?" she asked.

"Well... I have no money... All my money is gone...to pay for our holiday...." Heheh... saja je.

"Really ? Why don't you take some from the bank ?" Typical...

"Dalam bank pun dah habis, dik... It is empty now...."

"Okay.. pegi lah masak...."

"No... I wouldn't dare... Takut nanti tak cukup for you guys to eat..."

"Okay... saya ada 20 ringgit dalam saya punya box... Ambik lah.... Go and buy some food...."

Heheheh... You know, all the while we were having this conversation, she didn't look at me once. Her eyes were glued to her iTouch which is so very typical of her. Dari kecik dia macam tu... Tak pandang pun muka kita bila bercakap, but you just had to sit up straight for its contents.

I am touched. She is a good girl, really. One thing I have to say about her, walau pun she is the youngest child, she is very caring, very giving and senang mengalah. Such a loving child. Sayang, she deserves an adik. It is such a waste that she didn't have one.

I love seeing her dok gelek her little cousins on her hips, so willing to please them, so willing to help, so loving them.

Seriously, sayang....

Hmmm....

If you are a prude, don't read okay sebab aku malas nak layan orang-orang yang akan bagi comment like, benda macam ni pun nak cerita ke ?

So... don't ever say I didn't warn you, yeah ?

This morning after I buttoned up my shirt, I asked Kamil if you know... my bra is showing. He said no, tak ada. Okay then. So pegi Pasar Tani, pegi Tesco beli ikan, ambik beras, ambik itu ini then while we were waiting for our turn at the till, noticed my husband kept looking at my chest.

Aku biarkan jugak tapi when he didn't even talk to me but to my chest, I just had to ask. "Why are you looking at my boobs ?"

And sheepishly he said, "I can see your bra ..."

Sigh. "I asked you before but you said no... "

"No... you asked something else...."

"So what did I ask you exactly ?"

"You errrmmm... asked if I can see your boobs... and I can't ...."

What the ... ?

Patut le orang dok pandang aku.  And laki aku... instead of telling me to cover up ke hapa, was actually enjoying the scenery. I mean... seriously ? He allowed me to expose the girls to the public !

I have always suspected that Kamil never pays attention when I talk. Remember I have been telling you guys that I have started wearing selendangs ? Tudung lilit-lilit ? I keep on asking him if I actually look okay. He hardly even flicked his eyes my way and just nodded.

No matter how I prodded, he will just nod. And semalam bila aku keras sikit tanya if I look like a right twat in this, he forced out an, "Okay lah..."

Wow... what a way to boost my self-esteem, my confidence.

What is new ?

I have been tired and extremely sluggish lately. Rasa macam nak tidur aje.... I have been neglecting work... When I say that I strictly mean I have not been taking work home. Well, I do take them home, but whether I actually do something about that is another thing.

I still haven't made my move to the new division. I actually am very worried of not being able to understand the new business. I am old and I don't think I am as sharp as I once was. If I was even sharp in the first place is a another thing to worry about, actually.

Sigh...

5 more days to our holiday. I am soo excited. The kids are excited. But poor Kamil can't be excited due to his work. Sian... 

Tadi Adik told me that sometimes she cried when she looked at our Mekah/Madinah pics. I was about to go awww when she added, "And while I cried, I farted..."

Another geleng kepala moment.

I am soo full. I had nasi goreng kampung for dinner. I really shouldn't on account of my IBS but.. I can't resist it, yeah. Western food bores me for some reason. I can eat them, no problem but I usually get bored halfway.

I made chicken in cherry tomato sauce and mascaporne yesterday. Had them with penne. It was delicious. But I only had half of the chicken. It wasn't exciting at all. But the nasi goreng just now, licin. Melayu, kan ?

What else to tell ?

I am fat.

What else ? Something new probably ?

I have started wearing make-up again. I was at KLCC and amongst all the lovely things I could buy, I went to borong MAC. I was just looking at the Archie's themed make-up and I do not know why I bought a Veronice blusher, plus the brush and a tub of lipstick, that looked almost the same as my existing one.

What was I thinking ?

What else ?

My hair is nice. So manageable now that is short.

What else ?

My husband pegi main badminton tapi haram tak call I langsung. The whole day. I mean I know he's going, but at least call lah sebelum pegi. Saja ambik hati kan ?

Mula lah aku meroyan. But that is not something new.

I have nothing new to tell !

Boringnya aku !

Weekend

Kami dok busy tengok wayang this month. Oz, Jack The Giant Slayer and last night Warm Bodies. That one is the one to watch, folks. Seriously entertaining.

Weekend ni kami tak buat apa sangat. Well tak buat apa-apa yang fun, I should say. The classes that we have to send the kids to, the visits to pasar and shops and what-nots. Kamil mentioned that weekend is actually a working weekend as we have to manage the other aspect of our life pulak.

I took Adik to the hairdresser semalam. I go to Siti for my monthly scalp treatment anyway and while I had my hair done, Adik had hers too. She felt like a right grown-up, she said. Hahah... dah besar anak Mak. Ila and Siti are really good with hair, I must say as Adik came out with a beautiful bob. Kamil commented that Adik's supposed to look like him, and not me. Nasib lah kau....

Today we went to Ampang Park to order a new box of contacts for me. Dah kat sana I took the opportunity to look around and  jumpa kedai jual tudung bawal ! Bad news, they are expensive ! Ada satu yang super lovely at RM199 sebab it is kerawang goyang. Letak balik walaupun it is white with grey kerawang, a combination yang I tak pernah ada.

I bought a cheaper one at RM85. It is white with small purple flowers all over which is really pretty. I already have that combo but I am just collecting sebab there will come a day where they will stop from producing at all. Upside, I can actually order ! So I ordered one with grey flowers, one with green flowers and one with blue. Aku rasa macam lega sangat sebab masih ada tempat yang boleh aku beli.

Anyway hari tu, a colleague's mom bought me some curry puffs and they were super delicious. She gave me two and there were just Abang and I so both of us scoffed the whole thing. First bite I thought I had beef. I said so to Abang. The second bite, I knew it was chicken and I told Abang that. As I took my third bite, he commented "Lets not hope it is sardine this time, Mum !"

Hehehehheheh......... Kelakar lah kau, nak.

After that, her mom kept buying us some. I am most grateful sebab gerainya kat Klang, dekat dengan sekolah La Salle apparently, and I have no idea where it is ! 

Career wise, I have been moved to a new Division since March 1st but I have yet to make my move. My boss (or erstwhile really) wants me to finish off whatever that is on-going. While saying that, he keeps membebel pasal my move and I cannot help but feel guilty all the time.

Sigh.

Something to look forward to is our holiday ! Yeay, yeay ! Something not to look forward to is reminding my boss of my 8 days holiday. He will go nuts !

I am poorly - Part 2

One nice thing about being sick is the sympathy I get... heheh.

Mom came everyday to visit and to massage all the sore and aching bits.

My sister came with her son and my nieces.

Kids will do every single thing I asked them without protest. I only haven't asked them to cabut bulu ketiak aje lagi....

Kamil... well.... he has been working and when he came home, he went to bed straight away.

Bibik has been wonderful. My makan minum was taken care of, my bed sheets changed.... She even brought snacks to me, just in case. Problem is, I did not feel like eating. Perut rasa penuh all the time. I could only accept liquid.

I eagerly wait for Adik to arrive home. At least ada orang yang nak layan bersembang as being sick is boring. Bila dia balik, ada aje lah cerita yang dia bawak dari sekolah, merapu semunya but wildly entertaining. Especially her expression when there are things yang dis tak setuju. Like her 1 datang lambat slip. Tak pernah lagi dia datang lambat so she is really, really unhappy about that !

I do not feel so good today. Driving took a toll on my strength. I was gasping as soon as I got out of the car. Weird huh ?

I am poorly...

I am poorly.... I am a bit better now obviously what with me writing about it here....But not full bill of health... I am feeling it still...

As far as demam goes, this one is quite a nasty one. It started Monday morning as soon as I got to work. I was not feeling it right and when a colleague commented that I looked sick, I felt it even more. By lunch time my body started to ache. I had almost nothing to eat and wasn't very good company. I had also started to feel cold.

I had an appointment after office hours at KLCC and I believe you me, I tried to get out of, unsuccessfully. So nak tak nak, I drove to KLCC and stayed until after 9. I arrived home about 20 minutes after. Amazing....

Anyway, during the meeting I could feel the cold so much, I kept rubbing my arms. It got worse during the drive as my head was so heavy and my throat felt like it ballooned.

I brought home goodies and since it was already 9.30 I drove like mad to catch my kids before they go off to Dreamland. I tried racing the stairs but my feet were dragging me. I forced myself to eat the treats (tiramisu and chocolate mousse with profiteroles on top... super yummmm...!) with my family. Luckily Kamil is rather strict on bedtime so he chased the kids back to their beds 15 minutes after.

I then tumbang-ed.

I woke up at 3 shivering and with my head feeling like it was struck with heavy pipes. I was rather disoriented as soon as I opened my eyes, I started crying. I told Kamil of my ailments and he hugged me to give me some warmth. When it didn't work he put on more blankets and told me to sleep.

Take me to the doctor, I said. He said okay and snored. Typical.

I was restless as I was feeling the cold so much, I cried again. I tried every position I could think of, knees to my chest, legs under Kamil's but none worked.

Take me to the doctor, I said this time with more force and baru lah dia bangun. Men.....

Doctor said my temperature was very, very high. Really doc, I asked. Then why am I feeling cold ? He said that is normal when the body temperature spiked. He then asked me to open wide, which I was rather reluctant to do so on account that I did not brush my teeth. Doc found puss on my tonsil. Great.

I was given 2 days MC with instructions if things did not get better by the third day, I would have to come again for blood tests.

I am better now. No more shivers but my body ache so. And my throat. And my head. But at least the shivers are gone so yeay !

So for 2 days I slept and baring and slept and baring and I think that was enough to allow bed sores to develop. I tried sitting but my head wouldn't let me. I tried walking but my sore knees just would let me.

Therefore I am very much relieved that could sit long enough to write at this very moment.

Okay... I should stop right now.

I need to baring...

Ta-ra...

Tudung..

Today is a hot day. So very hot my neck got sticky. Euuuww.....

Today my friends and I went to a rumah anak yatim to distribute telekung and talk about solat. This place is very different from the one that we visited about a month or so ago. That one was well run and clean.

This one is a bit menyedih kan but not because of anything but tangan yang tak menang. It is a bit too much for one person to take on her own. I feel that this is the place that needs our attention.

So our visit next time would be to distribute pakaian sembahyang for the boys and penekanan tentang kebersihan.

I seriously do not know what to write about. Work is fine... boring but fine. Working hard to get good KPI to get good bonus. Smashing bonus in fact.

Still fat... hahahhaha.....

Oh and I have started to change my tudung. I had a very good and emotional talk with Kak Kay berkenaan our affinity for tudung bawal that is slowly disappearing from the shops. My style had always been white tudung bawal with the sulaman or the bunga yang ikut the colour of the baju. Masalahnya, dah susah nak cari tudung bawal yang cantik. Sekarang ni semua sulaman is situated on top of your head. So far I looked ridiculous in one.

Then came the two-toned tudung. That one is nice. It either started with white or black and then gradually gets to the colour intended. Tapi tak lama, sebab tiba-tiba it too disappeared from the shops and came the 5 tones. Punyalah berkecamuk, I failed to identify the colour asal.

So now, I have resorted to tudung lilit-lilit. I usually chose white with coloured motives. White with pink polka-dots, blue stripes or black floral. But... I still look ridiculous. However, better than tudung awning or tudung bunga ataih kepala.

Please.... bring back tudung bawal... Sapa-sapa saja.... Please....

Bad Memory

I bought my nephew a pest fish last week. No reason really apart from wanting to see his reaction. He was shy about it surprisingly. But that lasted like 5 seconds before he demanded for the lid to be opened.

My kids of course wanted one too. I am okay about it but you know how errmmm….unpredictable Kamil could get. Free-free aje kena marah nanti so I let the kids stated their case. Lo and behold,  Kamil agreed ! At the risk of him changing his mind, last weekend  since he was away for work, I quickly organized for the kids to have a look at the fish on display and let them choose what they fancy.

Abang took one with 2 guppies in it. He named them Yin and Yang because one is black and the other one is white. I don’t know whether it is true or not as they were too small for my eyes. Seriously.

Adik took a red ikan laga which, after much thought decided to call Dandelion.

“Dandelion ?” Was the incredulous  question from her Abang.

“Yeah…” She answered, head high ready for a fight.

“How could you name a fighting fish Dandelion ? He will be the laughing stock of the fighting fish world !”

Tu dia… aku tak sangka ikan laga ada community depa sendiri.

Ha ha.

Last week, in the car both of them were having their usual chats. I wasn’t listening but something Abang said caught my attention.

“Have you ever seen a fat footballer ?” He asked. I really do not know what started it off.

And the answer she gave was, “I don’t know… you ?”

Hehehehheheheh. Mak bapak kat depan yang gelak while Abang crossed his arms, mulut muncung. The serial Deadpan Girl has struck again.

My kids actually have a lot of hilarious conversations. Sometimes aku rasa macam nak curi-curi record them. I have tried it once but they caught me almost immediately and after that they got a bit self-conscious and eventually stopped. Most of the times, I was desperately trying to record it in my head so that I can blog about it. But often times, I couldn’t. My memory is that bad.

Speaking of memory, I have been forgetting words. And phrases too. I noticed this a few years before but it seemed to be getting worse. Struggling for words in a meeting is embarrassing okay. But try as I might, some words are totally lost from me. Phrases especially. I find that I couldn’t make any witty comebacks anymore as well.

Apasal aaa ?

The thing about the dark...

That day, after we buried my Paksu in Perak, we crashed at my Uncle Mat's house in Ipoh. Tired and hungry we arrived at his gorgeous home around midnight. Learning that we have not eaten, Uncle dearest went out to buy food.

So we ate at 1 am and slept close to 2, in neat rows in the living room. But when in Perak, before azan Subuh berkumandang, I would be woken up by the sound of the front door opening. For a while, I thought it was my arwah Tok who usually berjemaah for Subuh.

But no, it is not him. It is his son who followed his footsteps. Rain or shine, work day or weekends, he and his brothers will berjemaah for Subuh. It doesn't matter if I crashed at Uncle Mat, or Uncle Kamal's house (and I suspect Uncle E's house too... I have never crashed at his place for some reason...), I will definitely hear the sound of the house keys jangling, then the opening of the door and then the azan.

Kalau Tok tu, sometimes he would leave the door open with just the grilled door closed. I sometimes would stand in front of the door and watch his retreating back to the surau, the air cool and the day still dark.

So nostalgic.

By the way, talking about dark two days ago Adik told me that she heard noises downstairs at about 3 am. She said she heard doors and drawers opening and closing and footsteps and what-nots. I reasoned it could be Bibik but she wasn't that convinced.

Anyway yesterday she asked Bibik if it was her at 3 am the day before. Bibik said no, she woke up at 5. So this little girl came running to me, breathless and bursting with news.

"Bibik cakap dia tidur pukul 3 ! Dia bangun pukul 5 ! So ada orang masuk rumah kita pukul 3 !"

"Really ? But the house wasn't disturbed !"

"Iya ! Saya dengar ada orang pukul 3 !"

While aku terbangang-bangang, I though of something. "How did you know it was 3 ?"

"I know it was 3..." Eh ? "You looked at the watch ?"

"Nope... it looked like 3...."

"How do you know it was 3 ?"

"It was dark !" Dia pulak dah naik marah.

"Pukul 5 pun still dark.... How do you know the difference between 3 and 5 ?"

"Saya tahulah. It felt like 3 !"

What ? Hello ? 

Allah, penat bergaduh....

Hmmm......

Sigh again

So my last post was on the happy news of getting a new niece. Today's post would be the sad news on my uncle's passing.

Yesterday, which coincidentally was Valentine's Day, Kamil was bored at the office and asked me to lunch. He picked me up and not even 5 minutes of partaking our food, Mom called to say that something had happened to Paksu and asked me check what was going on. I heard the word HKL, CPR and a lot of gasps and hints of worry.

Kamil asked me to relax and I called my uncle K. Just in case he knew something but all I managed to do was worry him. I called a friend who kebetulan worked with my Paksu and I was informed that he had collapsed and was taken by the ambulance. He evaded my question of whether Paksu was still breathing when they took him away.

I feared the worse. Uncle K called to tell me the same story and he was worried. Then mom called crying hysterically to say that my Paksu has passed on. My brother MI who is working in HKL confirmed it.

And so the flurry of cries, phone calls and fast walks started. My biggest worry was my Maksu. Paksu's colleagues had dispatched a driver to take her to the hospital, but she still didn't know.

I arrived to see him, in his lifeless stage, his colleagues penuh keliling dia. Lucikly there was a familiar face that came and hug me. Dalam sedih, I couldn't help but feel proud when seeing my brother in his doctor garb.

I was at the hospital from 1 pm to about 5. Waiting and waiting for everything to settle as my Maksu only came for 5 minutes and promptly left. Poor her. I really thank his colleagues for arranging everything as I wouldn't even know where to start.

My dad and Kamil helped to bathe him, then at Maksu's request I was with her following behind the van jenazah to Perak, to bury him at his kampung.

He left behind my Maksu, his 8 year old son and a hoard of relatives that love him very, very much.
Al-Fatihah for my Paksu.