A leaf out of my ayah's book

Yesterday as usual, Umar and Titi had a fight. Titi cried and would not stop until a punishment is meted out to her brother. I whispered to Umar that " Mummy tipu je okay, " and said loudly for Titi's benefit that I will pok Umar for daring to fight with Princess Titi. Then, I added

" Mummy nanti pok Umar dengan rotan. Rotan tu I will cut ( lengthways ) 4 times so that everytime Mummy pok Umar ada 4 bekas. And then I will put paku and duri so that nanti berdarah Umar. Lepas tu I will perah air limau so that it will sting......, "

I could have gone on and on but stopped when I heard my son whisper , " Mummy tipu je kan ? Sure kan ? " He he... Yup I got that from my childhood, from my very descriptive father.... Although we would always laugh it out, it was a nervous laugh until we hear his own laughter or saw him stuck out his tongue.

One of his favourite method to scare us into goodness is when he talked about Titian Siratul Mustaqim,

" Akhirat nanti kita kena lalu satu titi ni. It is thinner than hair, in fact, it is hair cut into seven and they took 1 strand out of that 7 as a titi. Bawah tu, haa.... are horrors of all horrors. Snakes and kala jengking and api and hantu and jembalang. Everybody has to lalu this titi. If you are good, like me and Mummy, senang aje lalu. *Jeng je jeng ! Jeng je jeng ( in a sing songy voice, dancing ) nari - nari pun boleh, sure tak jatuh punya. Ha... tapi kalau orang jahat, *Jeng je jeng ! Jeng je jeng ( in a horror song, sometimes lagu darth vader ) Heee takut..., takut.... ( fingers in mouth, body shaking to show extreme fear ) jalan 2 -3 langkah bomm..... jatuh. You ( to the org yang bersalah ) I suggest you just jump straight into the hole ..... ".

Takut tau.... All of us had that imagined and it is rather scary. Everytime he narrated that, all the scenes will be played in our heads on cue. The fear, us trembling before the big fiery hole and looking enviously at Mummy and Ayah who were dancing on the hair to Jannah.

Believe it or not, that picture is always on my head whenever I am concious that I am up to no good. I would say it worked. Of course there are times ( numerous ) when I am doing something bad, and the picture reel is somehow missing on that movie or I was not concious that I was doing something terrible. However, the point is, thank you Bapak for managing to save me from half of my dosas......

My father is also the reason why I would look for my family members when it rained. Here is his story,

" Nanti ayah dah tua, Mummy dah tua... duduk rumah buruk. Hampa semua dah besaq, tapi tak mau ingat dah orang tua ni. Sombong. Duduklah ayah dengan Mummy kat pondok buruk tang mana ntah. Satu hari hujan... Keboom ! Kilat sambung menyambung. Angin dah tak sepoi - sepoi bahasa dah. Kencang... ooooooooo ( suara angin ). Hujan pun masuk sebab bumbung pun dah bocoq. Basah.... Mummy nak ambik makan. Ayah lapaq ( Us : Ayah memang selalu lapaq .... Ayah : Ish... dengaq lah dulu... ) tapi tak boleh jalan dah. Sebab lantai licin, cung... Mummy jatuh, pengsan. Ayah pulak dok lapaq, pun pengsan sebab sejuk pulak tu, basah lagi...... Bila orang jumpa, tak tau dah apa jadi..... Bila org bagitau hampa, ( he will stand up ) Biar padan muka org tua tu... Pegi aku tak kenal dia org.... "

Some will cry, others yg older ( like me and my brother ) dah selalu dengar, buat muka boring, tapi sebek kat dalam. That is why, bila hujan je, I have to call my family to ensure their driness and awakeness. That is why I find rain distressing as really, the picture my Daddy painted, is true to some very unfortunate parents in this world.

That is why, I relate the same stories ( with my own up-graded version of course ) to my kids, as it served as a good reminder to me on my duty towards my family and hopefully will serve as a reminder to them too.

And Dan asked me why I must make my children crazy ? Because it is family tradition, that is why !!