Oh Tuhan ! Dan and I were attacked yesterday. Well not really Dan.. but me !! I was the one who was actually attacked. Dan was spared 70% of the horror while I experienced it all.
Ya Rabbi !! Tension den.
I was sleeping in the wee hours of this morning, and strangely was dreaming of Jon Favreu ( he is a good actor (and director) and all but he is no hunk. Am wondering about that actually ) when I felt something licked me. It felt cold and was without a doubt a lick that I jumped up. I literally jumped and yelled “Oi !!” and in that process woke my husband up.
“What ?”
“Dan ! Something licked me !” I scanned the bed looking for the culprit, wishing and wishing that it was not a ..*gulp* snake. Dan didn’t bother to get up but he did say, “Itule… you tadi pecahkan remote ….”. What does that got to do with something licking me is beyond me. My heart was beating really fast because it was really weird. I didn't buy Dan's "It was just a dream" crap because I was dreaming about Mr. Favreu and the bloody cold lick was all too real.
I scooted to Dan’s side and tried to sleep. As I was willing my self to slumberland I heard a sound. It sounded like something fell on the floor. I jumped again and alerted my husband. He went to look around the house but found nothing. Since he was awake already, he switched on the light and the telly and that was when I saw it. Two strips of black thingy that looked so horrible and disgusting.
“Dan look !! I told you there was something and there it is. What is it ?”
“Myra you pegi mana ? That is lintah !!”
Lintah ? Immediately my hair stood on its end.
“Are you sure ? Why are they dead ?”
“Itu bukan mati tu. Dia org kenyang.”
I whipped off my clothes and started checking my whole entire body. I was panicky and almost in tears. I felt weird. Repulsed mix with wonder mix with dread mix with 1001 emotions, each one more negative than before.
“But where did they feed ? There is no blood anywhere !!”
Dan took some wipes to throw the …. can I say carcass ?… out. We changed the sheet because of the slime (yuck !!) and went to bed once more. I couldn’t sleep because the situation was just too horrific and incredible.
I kept asking why they were there and whence they came from. Their presence is so illogical that I couldn’t even think properly while I tried to soothe the awfulness that I was feeling. I just had too many unanswered questions and my mind was busy that I couldn’t sleep. Dan kept repeating this is the balasan of orang yang pecahkan his sacred Astro remote control when we heard another bump in the night. I said we because I could feel his eyes flicked open when the sound came.
“You hear that ?”
“It is not outside, it is in the room !!”
I leaped out of the bed and switched on the light. I stood on the doorway and waited for God knows what. I then decided to look into my children to make sure they are okay. From where I was standing I could see our room when my eyes caught the sight of a huge mouse came out from underneath our bed, ran out of our room, shot past the kiddies’ room before disappearing from view.
I was hysterical. I dived on the bed and jumped up and down… ( wow !! The cartoons are not all fictional after all ). I was shouting in no particular order “Dan !! Tikus !! Tikus !! Dan !! Help !!”
My husband ran into the room and jumped on the bed with me. I looked at him incredulously. He looked like he was coming to rescue me from Mighty Mouse but as he jumped on the bed and bounced up and down with me I was confused. Then confusion turned into disbelief.
“What are you doing ? Dan ! What are you doing ? Oh my God Rashdan !! What are you doing ?” I kept shouting at him as we bounced up and down on the kids’ bed. My Superman-William Wallace-Indiana Jones-Hans Solo-James Bond of a husband clutched my hands. Luckily Elsa slept on Umar’s bed or she would have woken up and join in the melee too.
“You should save me !! What are you doing ?”
“I geli ! I hate rats !” Was his answer and we stopped bouncing. He grinned at me and I just looked at him. What can you do but laugh because the situation was ridiculous. It was 4 am, damn it !
When we returned to our room I stupidly asked the connection between the lintah and the tikus. Dan said, “Ermm…I think it makes more sense to say that they were not lintah but poop.”
I blinked and blinked and blinked while I looked at him stupidly.
“He licked me while he pooped ?”
And Dan convulsed into laughter.
“Ini pengajaran untuk you. Semua nak kena bersih. Ini tak boleh itu tak boleh, kotor sikit tak nak makan… Ha… Tuhan dah bagi you something yang paling kotor. Dia bagi you Jerry !!….Haa….” and he emulated how the stupid tikus pooped while licking me.
He looked so ridiculous I forgot to defend myself. Then he added, “And because you pecahkan remote I..”
I vowed to pecahkan the next one he buys too…
Ya Rabbi !! Tension den.
I was sleeping in the wee hours of this morning, and strangely was dreaming of Jon Favreu ( he is a good actor (and director) and all but he is no hunk. Am wondering about that actually ) when I felt something licked me. It felt cold and was without a doubt a lick that I jumped up. I literally jumped and yelled “Oi !!” and in that process woke my husband up.
“What ?”
“Dan ! Something licked me !” I scanned the bed looking for the culprit, wishing and wishing that it was not a ..*gulp* snake. Dan didn’t bother to get up but he did say, “Itule… you tadi pecahkan remote ….”. What does that got to do with something licking me is beyond me. My heart was beating really fast because it was really weird. I didn't buy Dan's "It was just a dream" crap because I was dreaming about Mr. Favreu and the bloody cold lick was all too real.
I scooted to Dan’s side and tried to sleep. As I was willing my self to slumberland I heard a sound. It sounded like something fell on the floor. I jumped again and alerted my husband. He went to look around the house but found nothing. Since he was awake already, he switched on the light and the telly and that was when I saw it. Two strips of black thingy that looked so horrible and disgusting.
“Dan look !! I told you there was something and there it is. What is it ?”
“Myra you pegi mana ? That is lintah !!”
Lintah ? Immediately my hair stood on its end.
“Are you sure ? Why are they dead ?”
“Itu bukan mati tu. Dia org kenyang.”
I whipped off my clothes and started checking my whole entire body. I was panicky and almost in tears. I felt weird. Repulsed mix with wonder mix with dread mix with 1001 emotions, each one more negative than before.
“But where did they feed ? There is no blood anywhere !!”
Dan took some wipes to throw the …. can I say carcass ?… out. We changed the sheet because of the slime (yuck !!) and went to bed once more. I couldn’t sleep because the situation was just too horrific and incredible.
I kept asking why they were there and whence they came from. Their presence is so illogical that I couldn’t even think properly while I tried to soothe the awfulness that I was feeling. I just had too many unanswered questions and my mind was busy that I couldn’t sleep. Dan kept repeating this is the balasan of orang yang pecahkan his sacred Astro remote control when we heard another bump in the night. I said we because I could feel his eyes flicked open when the sound came.
“You hear that ?”
“It is not outside, it is in the room !!”
I leaped out of the bed and switched on the light. I stood on the doorway and waited for God knows what. I then decided to look into my children to make sure they are okay. From where I was standing I could see our room when my eyes caught the sight of a huge mouse came out from underneath our bed, ran out of our room, shot past the kiddies’ room before disappearing from view.
I was hysterical. I dived on the bed and jumped up and down… ( wow !! The cartoons are not all fictional after all ). I was shouting in no particular order “Dan !! Tikus !! Tikus !! Dan !! Help !!”
My husband ran into the room and jumped on the bed with me. I looked at him incredulously. He looked like he was coming to rescue me from Mighty Mouse but as he jumped on the bed and bounced up and down with me I was confused. Then confusion turned into disbelief.
“What are you doing ? Dan ! What are you doing ? Oh my God Rashdan !! What are you doing ?” I kept shouting at him as we bounced up and down on the kids’ bed. My Superman-William Wallace-Indiana Jones-Hans Solo-James Bond of a husband clutched my hands. Luckily Elsa slept on Umar’s bed or she would have woken up and join in the melee too.
“You should save me !! What are you doing ?”
“I geli ! I hate rats !” Was his answer and we stopped bouncing. He grinned at me and I just looked at him. What can you do but laugh because the situation was ridiculous. It was 4 am, damn it !
When we returned to our room I stupidly asked the connection between the lintah and the tikus. Dan said, “Ermm…I think it makes more sense to say that they were not lintah but poop.”
I blinked and blinked and blinked while I looked at him stupidly.
“He licked me while he pooped ?”
And Dan convulsed into laughter.
“Ini pengajaran untuk you. Semua nak kena bersih. Ini tak boleh itu tak boleh, kotor sikit tak nak makan… Ha… Tuhan dah bagi you something yang paling kotor. Dia bagi you Jerry !!….Haa….” and he emulated how the stupid tikus pooped while licking me.
He looked so ridiculous I forgot to defend myself. Then he added, “And because you pecahkan remote I..”
I vowed to pecahkan the next one he buys too…
Hmmm………… and eee….. geli…. Uwekkk !!
3 comments:
euwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Geli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
woah...bestnyer post nih! next time you come to our house, please meet mr beardie..amir's fav lizard :)
Yes Konot.. I agree.
Sib, I am glad you like this post. Next time aku bagi drama lagi...
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