Aku yang ntah apa-apa

Stupid and stupid and stupid.

Embarassingly so.

Okay, you who know me, know this. If ever I have to share sejadah, I will usually measure where I should stand by doing a test sujud.

Just want to make sure my aim will be correct, that is all. Well you know, I would only be happy if my head is placed neatly on the middle of the sejadah. I do not want to worry about it and gauging if the distance of my feet from the sejadah is correct while reciting my prayers. Nak kusyuk ma…. Anyway I paling tension if my head overshoot the sejadah and landed on the fringes. Keraih !

Anyway, last time, at my old office the first time we had to share the sejadah, I did the distance test to the amusement of my colleagues. When I explained, mampuih kena gelak. “Ko memang giler, minah…” Proclaimed Sue. Takpa, Suriani. Aku dendam ngan ko pasal tu.

The same thing happened when Kak Ra came back from performing her Haj and bought all of us the small sejadah just enough for our head. Of course I started to worry and as soon as I got the chance, I did my sujud test. Shifted the distance a bit and finally got the right distance.

Kena gelak lagi. Kureng sungguh.

Those who know me also know about my semi-aversion towards things being dirty. Spoons at restaurants will be wiped by tissues first and what nots (Semi-aversion because Ian watched me polishing the cutleries of a restaurant we went to, yeah and he was bewildered when I let some cats ate the leftover food on the plates. “Your spoon polishing has no use if you let the cats eat out of your plates…”he said. Well yeah, he actually made sense…. So bukannya le aku ni pembersih sangat… Tika dan masa yang sesuai aje… keh keh…)

Anyway, I was doing my Zohor prayers last week and soon as I put my face on the sejadah for my sujud, my nose caught the urrrghhhh smell of saliva. Man……. Babah said it only happens to me because I actually look for it. Ada ka ?

I immediately stopped my prayers and switched prayers mats. I went a few steps behind a bit from where I usually stood so that my head touched where knees usually landed. No chance of smelling air liur basi there kan ?

Get it ?

I remembered about Kak Ra’s small sejadah and so today I brought it to work. It will go on top of the big sejadah ensuring me of sweet smelling and definitely clean sujuds. I was lucky to get the surau all by myself. Performed my abulations, susun the sejadahs, put on my telekung and, since I have never done this before, to make sure my aim is correct, I tested my sujud.

Obviously.

It was off a bit and as soon as I was back on my knees and was about to scoot back a bit, somebody opened the door. For the love of God I do not know why I suddenly felt self-consious.

Very, very self conscious.

Like I was caught with my hands in the cookie jar kind of embarrassment. Of course the ladies looked at me and I had this huge feeling that they’d be wondering what I was doing if I suddenly got up. They had caught me getting up from my sujud ain’t it and then tiba-tiba nak bangun ? Nanti depa tanya, Sembahyang apa ni ? pulak.

Errr…. Why am I me ? Why am I like this ? Like they were gonna laugh at me if they know.

Would they ?

I had no time to loose really. I have to make my decision fast as my duduk antara dua sujud cannot be that long. Don’t know if they noticed my flaming face. Anyway, my ustaz Osman once told me that we have to elakkan fitnah. Jangan bagi orang ada reason nak fitnah kita. Karang makcik2 tu fitnah aku sembahyang Ayah Pin lak kang. Dah dosa….

With that in mind (yelah tu…alasan aje), so I did another sujud (position still tak betul.. my head landed still not quite right on the sejadah) and masuk tahyat akhir. And bagi salam. And bangun. And lipat telekung. And left.

Took the stairs up. Waited for 30 minutes before I went down again and actually performed my Zuhur. Landing betul tak betul be damned. There were too many people in the surau anyway so I can’t do my stupid distance test.

So Sue, ini semua salah mung !!

Waaaa !!

PS : Cerita benda bodoh ni kat blog tak malu pun… Apa ra….