Semalam aku mengukur jalan lagi.
Hai…
Kamil came home and announced excitedly that 2012 is opening today. Aku pulak langsung tak berminat nak tengok cerita-cerita macam tu so I told him to go and watch it with Ian.
He was surprised and aku rasa nak ketuk kepala dia sebab he has been my partner for 17 years .. 17 ? 16 ? well… for many, many years lah and still cannot fathom what movie genre I don’t like ?
Aku ni tau dia takkan punya nak tengok Time Traveller’s Wife itu yang bila DR ajak aku terus kata yes. And when I kononnya mintak permission dia dulu, tekaan ku tepat. Langsung tak berminat. Pergilah, he said.
Anyway he tried to pujuk me but I stood my ground and at the end, he called Ian. After sending the kids to bed, we went out to Summit to meet Ian and buy the tics for today. Summit by the way sucks big time.
Ian too tak puas hati aku tak mau join depa and dok sibuk memujuk. Ini lagi sorang..tapi takpelah dia tak tau…he has only been in the picture for a year. Anyway after getting the tickets for the 2 jantans, takkan balik rumah, so we went to have ice-cream at Naili’s in Taipan.
This is one of Ian’s favourite spot and I have to admit it is rather nice. Although a bit gelap (as soon as aku masuk and masih tergapai2 dalam kegelapan, aku suspect giler owners Naili ni mesti Melayu sebab hanya restoran orang Melayu saja yang style makan ala-ala takdak elektrik.. Ian confirmed my suspicions.. he he…).
Kami duduk. I ordered quite a good mocktail, Kamil had banana split and Ian had 2 and I mean 2 Longan Surprise or whatever. It was that good. Anyway we were talking, and Ian was teasing me about my refusal to watch 2012 and hoards of other stuffs. I do not know how or when in the course of the night it happened, but something triggered quite an unpleasant and I have to say frustrating memory to surface.
My friend Mimi (bukan nama sebenar as usual) at that time was recently married. And she married a wonderful guy of course. But then, nobody is perfect right and the dent on Jamil’s (I don’t have to state the obvious at this point kan ?) perfect demeanor is that his inability to support his wife. Or defend her.
Mamat ni kalau ada orang usik bini dia, dia akan tambah usik. If a topic came up that got something to do with Mimi that he didn’t like, well he will use her as an example. God help her if he disagrees with her opinion, dan dan tu jugak dia taruh bini.
If the wife made a mistake and kawan-kawan good naturedly kutuk, he will be the chief kutuk-er. Me as a perempuan noticed his habit and I also sensed that Mimi ni sengih dalam tangis. But I didn’t say anything of course sebab karang jadi benda lain pulak.
Therefore I was not surprised when one day Mimi came to me, crying about Jamil’s behaviour. It transpired that the night before they were playing games (I have forgotten masa tu Play Station ke, PS2 ke atau Sega ke..). She played with Jamil while Jamil’s siblings and cousin looked on, macam tengah buat tournament lah ni.
That is not the problem. The problem was Jamil kutuk dia kaw-kaw punya bila dia kalah, di khalayak ramai. Sampai kan, sepupu and adik-beradik Jamil groaned whenever she lost. His own family could not take his bullying and was rooting for her to win.
That was the last straw for her and she hatched a plan and required my help, to teach him a lesson. And method dia sangat ku suka sebab it is the same methodology that I hold oh so dearly. To teach, we have to first put them in the same situation. Bagi dia rasa apa kita rasa. Baru orang jantan boleh sedaq.
We were scheduled to go out with a group of friends and so she told me all I have to do is start to tease her husband if he ever ada tersalah cakap. Kalau takde pun, aku kena ada-adakan. After that, she will take over.
Muuhahahahahhahah ! Kilat sambung-menyambung. Guruh berdentum-dentum.
He heh….
I was torn between wanting to help and not wanting to get involve in this shit. Plus, I am the worse actor ever !! I wasn’t convinced I could pull it off. Plus my inadvertent and guaranteed red face would have informed all our friends something wicked were a-brewing.
So the dreaded day arrived and I had forgotten what it was, but somebody beated me to it and made Jamil the brunt of his jokes. Mimi seized the opportunity, happily joined in. The night went on beautifully as far as Mimi was concerned. One taruh after another si Jamil kena dengan bininya.
After that, Mimi got bolder and managed to deliver put downs on her own. She was on a roll.
Sadly though things did not exactly go her way. She did not take into consideration the spectators, the witnesses, the friends. Unpleasent remarks were thrown and heard. Friends began to discuss Mimi’s appalling behaviour.
Conrol laki Mimi ni...
Tak hormat laki siot…
Kalau bini aku macam tu dah lama dah…
Aku tak sangka dia ni teruk macam ni... Dulu tak de pulak.
Sehinggakan ada one time tu, Mimi confided in me that one friend accosted her and said, “Please don’t scold your husband in front of people lah...”
Tiba – tiba mamat ni pulak victimnya. Si Jamil tu pulak pandai lak diam bila Mimi belasah dia, until people only saw Mimi as the agressor, as the dominant one.
Poor Mimi, strategy tak jadi.
Why ?
Because I think society still feels that men are lords and he can do ANYTHING to his wife. Or society categorise Jamil's behaviour under ‘Biasalah lelaki’ and Mimi did not conform to how society deemed it the right way for her to react. Which was terimalah dengan rela. Sebab, biasalah lelaki. See ? A closed loop.
For months I have been seeing Jamil disrespecting Mimi, just like how Mimi olok-olok treated him, but nobody said anything, nobody protested. But when it came to her, queen control. Suka malukan laki depan khalayak ramai. Garang. Tak sayang laki.
Jamil buat tak sorang pun cakap apa. People failed to see that he was being mean to her. But when she did it, all hell broke loose. Why the double standard ? I don’t understand.
Being me, I tried to explain whenever my friends started talking about Mimi, pointing out that Jamil treated her that way first. I suggested that since it is a side of Mimi that we have never seen before, maybe it is all just an act, her bid to try make Jamil taste his own medicine, to put him in her shoes.
All I get was skeptical looks.
Yeeesssh !
And so Mimi up to this day lives under the brand “Perempuan garang tak hormat laki”. Aku frust.
Hai…
Kamil came home and announced excitedly that 2012 is opening today. Aku pulak langsung tak berminat nak tengok cerita-cerita macam tu so I told him to go and watch it with Ian.
He was surprised and aku rasa nak ketuk kepala dia sebab he has been my partner for 17 years .. 17 ? 16 ? well… for many, many years lah and still cannot fathom what movie genre I don’t like ?
Aku ni tau dia takkan punya nak tengok Time Traveller’s Wife itu yang bila DR ajak aku terus kata yes. And when I kononnya mintak permission dia dulu, tekaan ku tepat. Langsung tak berminat. Pergilah, he said.
Anyway he tried to pujuk me but I stood my ground and at the end, he called Ian. After sending the kids to bed, we went out to Summit to meet Ian and buy the tics for today. Summit by the way sucks big time.
Ian too tak puas hati aku tak mau join depa and dok sibuk memujuk. Ini lagi sorang..tapi takpelah dia tak tau…he has only been in the picture for a year. Anyway after getting the tickets for the 2 jantans, takkan balik rumah, so we went to have ice-cream at Naili’s in Taipan.
This is one of Ian’s favourite spot and I have to admit it is rather nice. Although a bit gelap (as soon as aku masuk and masih tergapai2 dalam kegelapan, aku suspect giler owners Naili ni mesti Melayu sebab hanya restoran orang Melayu saja yang style makan ala-ala takdak elektrik.. Ian confirmed my suspicions.. he he…).
Kami duduk. I ordered quite a good mocktail, Kamil had banana split and Ian had 2 and I mean 2 Longan Surprise or whatever. It was that good. Anyway we were talking, and Ian was teasing me about my refusal to watch 2012 and hoards of other stuffs. I do not know how or when in the course of the night it happened, but something triggered quite an unpleasant and I have to say frustrating memory to surface.
My friend Mimi (bukan nama sebenar as usual) at that time was recently married. And she married a wonderful guy of course. But then, nobody is perfect right and the dent on Jamil’s (I don’t have to state the obvious at this point kan ?) perfect demeanor is that his inability to support his wife. Or defend her.
Mamat ni kalau ada orang usik bini dia, dia akan tambah usik. If a topic came up that got something to do with Mimi that he didn’t like, well he will use her as an example. God help her if he disagrees with her opinion, dan dan tu jugak dia taruh bini.
If the wife made a mistake and kawan-kawan good naturedly kutuk, he will be the chief kutuk-er. Me as a perempuan noticed his habit and I also sensed that Mimi ni sengih dalam tangis. But I didn’t say anything of course sebab karang jadi benda lain pulak.
Therefore I was not surprised when one day Mimi came to me, crying about Jamil’s behaviour. It transpired that the night before they were playing games (I have forgotten masa tu Play Station ke, PS2 ke atau Sega ke..). She played with Jamil while Jamil’s siblings and cousin looked on, macam tengah buat tournament lah ni.
That is not the problem. The problem was Jamil kutuk dia kaw-kaw punya bila dia kalah, di khalayak ramai. Sampai kan, sepupu and adik-beradik Jamil groaned whenever she lost. His own family could not take his bullying and was rooting for her to win.
That was the last straw for her and she hatched a plan and required my help, to teach him a lesson. And method dia sangat ku suka sebab it is the same methodology that I hold oh so dearly. To teach, we have to first put them in the same situation. Bagi dia rasa apa kita rasa. Baru orang jantan boleh sedaq.
We were scheduled to go out with a group of friends and so she told me all I have to do is start to tease her husband if he ever ada tersalah cakap. Kalau takde pun, aku kena ada-adakan. After that, she will take over.
Muuhahahahahhahah ! Kilat sambung-menyambung. Guruh berdentum-dentum.
He heh….
I was torn between wanting to help and not wanting to get involve in this shit. Plus, I am the worse actor ever !! I wasn’t convinced I could pull it off. Plus my inadvertent and guaranteed red face would have informed all our friends something wicked were a-brewing.
So the dreaded day arrived and I had forgotten what it was, but somebody beated me to it and made Jamil the brunt of his jokes. Mimi seized the opportunity, happily joined in. The night went on beautifully as far as Mimi was concerned. One taruh after another si Jamil kena dengan bininya.
After that, Mimi got bolder and managed to deliver put downs on her own. She was on a roll.
Sadly though things did not exactly go her way. She did not take into consideration the spectators, the witnesses, the friends. Unpleasent remarks were thrown and heard. Friends began to discuss Mimi’s appalling behaviour.
Conrol laki Mimi ni...
Tak hormat laki siot…
Kalau bini aku macam tu dah lama dah…
Aku tak sangka dia ni teruk macam ni... Dulu tak de pulak.
Sehinggakan ada one time tu, Mimi confided in me that one friend accosted her and said, “Please don’t scold your husband in front of people lah...”
Tiba – tiba mamat ni pulak victimnya. Si Jamil tu pulak pandai lak diam bila Mimi belasah dia, until people only saw Mimi as the agressor, as the dominant one.
Poor Mimi, strategy tak jadi.
Why ?
Because I think society still feels that men are lords and he can do ANYTHING to his wife. Or society categorise Jamil's behaviour under ‘Biasalah lelaki’ and Mimi did not conform to how society deemed it the right way for her to react. Which was terimalah dengan rela. Sebab, biasalah lelaki. See ? A closed loop.
For months I have been seeing Jamil disrespecting Mimi, just like how Mimi olok-olok treated him, but nobody said anything, nobody protested. But when it came to her, queen control. Suka malukan laki depan khalayak ramai. Garang. Tak sayang laki.
Jamil buat tak sorang pun cakap apa. People failed to see that he was being mean to her. But when she did it, all hell broke loose. Why the double standard ? I don’t understand.
Being me, I tried to explain whenever my friends started talking about Mimi, pointing out that Jamil treated her that way first. I suggested that since it is a side of Mimi that we have never seen before, maybe it is all just an act, her bid to try make Jamil taste his own medicine, to put him in her shoes.
All I get was skeptical looks.
Yeeesssh !
And so Mimi up to this day lives under the brand “Perempuan garang tak hormat laki”. Aku frust.
14 comments:
YESS YESS YESS very true very2 true. Society is being so unfair, and this is the real double standard @ cruelty against women in d truest meaning . Bukannya dok memperjuangkan jantan buleh jadi qadhi pompuan pun buleh...or pompuan bleh jadi CEO as gud as any man...
Aku soka hang punya enthusiasm Eja... Kalau laki buat.. alah laki memang mcm tu... kalau pompuan buat..hei apa ni garangnya... Bangang ! Especially sebab yg selalu marah pompuan is pompuan sendiri..
aku pernah jumpa jantan keparat macam ni dulu. rasa nak sula aje jantan yang tak hormat bini nih. ko ingat ko tu hebat sangat.
ish memang harus kena pelempang jantan macam ni. kawan betoi hang ke si jantan tu? kalau kawan masa dia dok perlekeh bini dia tu hang bagi aje sedas dan2 tu jugak.
boleh tak lagu tu? siot betoi la. aku geram tak habih ni!
lupa nak tanya. kat malaysia bila keluar 'new moon'?
woa, ini adalah kes yang klasik di dalam dunia dan dominannya lelaki.
yang benarnya, dont fight fire with fire, but fight fire with point blank shooting onn the head.
next time kalau jadi, angkat kaki jalan atau bah dari situ...ia akan membuatkan lelaki rasa macam kena sepak tapi takdak sesiapa yang sepak dia..
keyword: on the spot / bayar cash time tu.
jgn plan, sebab hangpa mmg tak reti plan benda2 jahat ni...hihi..
iklan: alkisah kawan eorang mamat tabligh berpangkat karkun pernah masuk satu flat kat afghan. masa naik tangga kebetulan ada satu fmily kat belakang dia. member aku toleh dan ternampak pompuan afghan dgn suami dia. disebabkan cantik dan tak tutup muka dgn burkha, maka member aku toleh nak tengok lagi..tetiba laki minah tu acu AK47 dia...ha!tak ke haru..
mungkin di malaysia tak memerlukan protection sebegitu daripada suami..kan tak pasal2 ramai pulak calon menantu yang gugur.
tapi mmg lah ade sesetengah lelaki yg kurang faham bahawa perempuan tak boleh dilawakkan dengan kaedah lawak lelaki sebab lawak lelaki adalah amat kasar..dgn kawan2 lelaki boleh la kot..
(errr...aku pun pernah terlajak melawak...tapi harapnya tidak menjadi habitat)
Ana... banyak ropanya jantan2 gini... Tapi dia ni baik sebenarnya.. loving sangat ngan bini tapi itulah.. ada masa2 tu mcm pelik lah...
Sekarang dah tak macam tu sgt dah... jarang lah.. aku rasa depa dah bergaduh besar pasal hal ni so si Jamil dah belajarlah...
Laki mana yang perfect tapi imperfection macma tu yang mencengkam jiwa...
Ana...I dunno the exact date tapi akhir bulan ni rasanya... Kenapa eh ? Kat UK dah kelaur ke ? Tidak !!!
Sheik... dia pernah belah pastu yang dia kena ialah tak pandai nak jawab balik.. tak pandai nak defend diri sendiri... cilakak tau dak ?
women are part of society so we too bear the responsibility of not perpetuating the notion that husbands can lord over their wives regardless. havent we witness cases of over-protective mothers who fail to chastise their sons for blatant and obvious wrongdoings towards their wives but yet nit-pick at their doter-in-laws who they think are not in-tuned to their husbands' (read: their darling sons) needs? The cycle should end with us. If we do not wish to breed a society which holds to such lop-sided mentality, then we must instill into our children universal values which are not gender-specific. i geramlah kalau ada org2 tertentu (u know who laa) yg akan label us feminists if we start talking abt gender equality. No doubt kita kena akur to God given status of husbands as head of their families, but are our requests for fairness too demanding? feminists ke kita? chheeehhhh! buat org marah je.
Ah Zee sometimes I think women themselves are not helping in this matter. As U say lah, double standard. Kalau anak perempuan dia kena, marah tapi kalau menantu dia kena, suruh bersabar.
I try to teach my son to be very respectful of women and what I get is another mother telling me my son is lembut. And the way she said was not complimentary. Men are expected to be strong, sure I need strong men but strong doesn't equal to rudeness.
Please pray that I will be an awesome mom-in-law.
Mrs Kamil, si jamil memang salah kerana telah verbally abuse bininya. Tapi bini dia tak boleh nak ajar suami dia cara mcm tu. Kalau suami buat perangai buruk, buat apa ikut peel dia? takkan kita sama2 naik nak ikut perangai dia jugak? everytime before they meet people, the wife shud w arn the husband not to embarrass her. Let him know that his act is disrespectful coz sometimes man tak sedar diri. Manusia ada kelemahan jadi kenalah tegur cara baik..tapi kalau cara baik tak jalan jugak, cara Mrs Kamil jadik suppporting actor barulah boleh pakai..
Dear Anon.. actually she did what U suggested first.. Tapi tak jalan... I dunnolah which part of jangan hantam I depan orang yang si Jamil kenot understand... he he
Si jamil ni memang bengapla..
Anon... I agree..
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