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This is the proof that I am the most bangang woman ever !

Ever !!

Why am I like this ? Aku rasa inilah masalah aku, masalah tiba-tiba naik segan tak bertempat.

Wanna hear my story ?

Okay.

For months since I moved to this new outfit, I have been using the loo at the shareholder’s office. The problem is, to get to the loo, we have to sipi-sipi lalu CEO’s office. And CEO adalah amat garangnya. Once right he told off one staff for having loud footsteps !

Since the distance between my throat to the errm… bladder is very, very short, or… my bladder is super-efficient in filtering the liquid in my body, I need the loo a lot. And I mean a lot. My afore-mentioned bladder is always, always full. And therefore minding my footsteps everytime I needed the loo is seriously something that I can do without, okay ? Bosan. Plus, I am sure I looked comical when walking the short marbled way, trying my darnest to stifle the sounds. Err… did I mention my footsteps are like super loud ?

Masalah sungguh. Super loud footsteps coupled with a CEO who has acute aversion towards it plus a small, easily filled bladder. Oh yeah, plus the marbled floor. Couldn’t happen to a more undeserving person, okay ?

Actually there is a loo next to my boss’ room. But I had never used it because of the male picture stuck on the door. Until last month that is because I have never seen anbody else uses it except for him. And since he is a cool guy, I knew he wouldn’t mind.

So, I had a happy month, using the loo that only took 5 strides from me. Muted steps I must add since the floor is beautifully carpeted. I used it mercilessly. You noticed the had, eh ? Yup. Good things never last. Monday there was a leakage so at this moment it is under repair. The door is firmly locked.

So I had to tip-toe my way back to the loo, at the shareholder’s outfit, cursing the bloody marble. And my inability to walk daintily. Tak kuasa aku weii….

Then one day as I was about to go to the pantry, I bumped into my colleague taking the lift down. And when I went down myself immediately afterwards to go to the surau, I saw her coming out of the small loo near our auditorium. Hmm… So she took the lift to go to ground floor to make use of what looked like a very slow traffic loo. It should be since there are only the 2 auditoriums there. The Logistics Department is at the end of the corridor, nearer to a bigger loo with like 5 cubicles. So I assume this isolated loo is more for the people using the auditoriums.

Hmmm…. interesting.

But…. Can the staffs use it ? I mean staffs that were not nipping out from the auditoriums ? Well… I saw M used it. Should be okay, right ?

However, there is always a however, I saw Kak N, our receptionist who is like the nearest person to this lovely looking loo used the far end loo near the Logistics Department. I know. I saw her there once.

But when I think about the marbled floor and the what nots, I thought lantaklah. Don’t think there is a CCTV minitoring the damn loo.

Next day, I was antsy waiting for my bladder to make its presence known. Bukannya apa. Aku tak mau lupa. Selagi aku tak buat aku tak ingat. Karang menonong pergi tempat yang diharuskan berjengket itu. Bila dah sekali buat sure ingat punya kan ?

By 9, sudah mula ada ura-ura aku kena pi tandas, so I went down and mustering enough courage and selamba badakness, went in. Happily I locked the door of the single cubicle. But belum sempat aku buat apa-apa, I heard the main door opened.

“Eh ! Ada orang ke ?” It was the voice of one of the cleaners. I know this lady, we are quite friendly. She is also quite kepoh.

I winced. Aiseh.

Before I answered, she asked “Sapa kat dalam ni ?” Ada ke tanya ? Waaarrrgghhh ! Tensennya aku. Dan masa inilah aku naik segan. Why ? I don’t know. The mysterious inner workings of my brain dah buat perangai. I really couldn’t justify why I was too embarrassed to answer. Is it because my fear that this is a no-go toilet ? Or the act of visiting the loo itself is embarrassing to me ? Or…. Aku adalah hampeh.

I strongly believe it’s the latter. Bongok ! Ha..

Jadi apakah orang bongok ini buat ? Bila akak yang aku tak tahu kenapa perlu tahu siapakah gerangannya dalam tandas pada tika dan saat itu tanya lagi, “Siapa dalam ni ?”, aku…. he he…

He he… aku… aku jawab begini, “Kenapa you mau tau ? Jangan kacau saya lah….” Dengan suara yang sengau, dan… errmmm…. ala-ala orang Cina cakap Melayu gitu.

Auuwww !!!

Kak S asnwered with an “Ohh… okay….”. But she didn’t leave. I heard her moving about, rustling things. Sounded like she was cleaning the place.

O-oh…. If that is true, then… how can I leave the blasted place then ? Karang aku keluar kang nampak aku yang sememangnya bukan Cina camno ?

WAAAAAA !

Eh… Come to think of it, why is she cleaning the toilet ? I know for sure that the toilet was just recently washed. Nak kata tertinggal barang dalam cubicle tu pun tak gak because there was only the john, sanitary towel disposal bin, tissue, water hose… and me.

But I had no choice apart from waiting it out. And she took such a bloody long time doing her supposed chore at that. And so I waited some more. After about 10 minutes, she stopped moving about but did not leave the toilet. What was she waiting for ?

So aku pun masih membatukan diri di situ.

Minah ni, is she waiting for me to come out ? Dia nak kena tahu jugak ke sapa kat dalam ni ?

I think after about 5 minutes, she finally left. I was smart enough not to get out immediately as I suspect she is waiting outside. So I remained there for another 5 more minutes.

When I got out, nobody saw me and I scrambled madly upstairs. All in all, I think I was in the stupid, stupid loo for close to 20 minutes.

I asked Kak N after that if it is okay to use that particular toilet and she said yes, of course. When I queried why she doesn’t use it, her simple explaination of , “Laa… kalau dah ada orang guna, pergilah yang belakang punya…” was.. well very logical.

Benci !