My Bab

So I went to see Bab.

He was diagnosed with colon cancer and had his operation to remove the affected areas last week.

I didn’t get to see him because the visiting hours didn’t gel with my working ones. How very frustrating.

Then he went for another operation because he had some kind of infection.

When I went to see him, he was heavily sedated. I just looked at him as my cousin told me not to wake him up. I bawled my eyes out because he looked so fragile, so vulnerable so broken. My mind kept taking me when he was younger, the jet setter who was not based at home. The guy whom we had to sit down and chat with every time he is in the country for the holidays. Like going in for a job interview, he would ask the name of our schools, our grades, hobbies etc. I sometimes think that was just his ice-breaking session with us because we were always shuffling our feet, being very uncomfortable at first, talking to this guy whom we see once a year but after every session, we would be the best of friends already. Suddenly he would be our favourite uncle. Again.

His wife, my Mami Ela is the warmest person ever so we never had to break any ice with her. Hugs and kisses were aplenty and we always fell in love with her at first sight.

While I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, he suddenly opened his eyes. Kamil remarked, “Tidur macam Abang… bukak mata….” Padahal that guy was already awake.

Anyway, his hand started shaking and he kept looking at me.
I quickly called my cousin again as I was at lost at what to do. He did specifically tell me not to wake him up so now that he is awake, I need to know what are the rules and regulations.

My cousin asked if he was calm and he was. Then I asked if I can talk to him but my cousin didn’t think it was a very good idea since he did ask for me before his second operation and if I talked to him he might want to speak and get excited.
Hearing that I bawled again because … well because he asked for me. I should have been there with him, before he went under again but I didn’t know. I really didn’t.
But… seriously, I wouldn’t know if I could be with him if I had known anyway as I don’t think my bosses would like that very much. Sedih kan…

What am I to do ?

Please pray for my, Bab. Please….I thank you in advance.