Saturday, December 31, 2011

Busy nya...

I fully expected to wake up with severe sakit pinggang.. Nasib baik tak ada. I woke up with wonderful memories of last night and satisfaction that I had a damn good time.

Belly dancing I semalam ngan kengkawan ketat I. Best !

Pictures ada...but hehhehe.... tarak berani letak....

Anyway lepas kami bergelek sakan semalam, makan... as usual. My mom made mee bandung which my friends proclaimed as delicious. There was also orange cheesecake and brownies... well... sebenarnya bukan brownies but cake that was disguised as brownies...

Lepas tu lepak sambil baring-baring and sembang and gossip....

Kelmarinnya J datang and stayed until 9pm bergossip dengan Kamil. Si Kamil kalau bergossip....orang lain tak ada peluang nak bercakap , hokey.

Last night she went off at midnight. Malu katanya, asyik datang rumah I melepak lama-lama...

Hehehhe... Takde salah nya. We are the best of friends and I love her to bits, so she can tidur rumah aku pun takpa.....


Next session at Lina's place. Rumah cikgu... Hehhehe.....

Okay, nak siap. Nak pegi housewarming pulak. Laki aku jeling aje...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Perihal gajah dalam bilik....

My husband became sick on Tuesday.

That night my mom hantar rice congee. Sedap.

The next day she sent minestrone soup. Amazing...

Thursday she sent lauk... I forgot what it was.

While he was in the hospital she asked every single day if he wants something for her to cook. Tak payah lah Mom... Makanan spital ada...

Yeah... but tak sedap, she said.


Tuesday again and my mom made kari ikan... Sian Kamil... He was sleeping and anak-anak kami balun semuanya.... Luckily he still takde appetite..

Wednesday Mom sent pizza to her son-in-law. Malam she made kari ayam.

Hari ni ? Hehehe..... I am waiting....


But I am sure, reading this mesti korang tertanya-tanya kan ? I mean, there is a huge elephant in this story that I dare not address.


Monday, December 26, 2011

Ada ikan pun payah....

We are home. I finally slept on my huge and comfy bed, in a room that has no icicles formed anywhere. Home is indeed sweet, kan ? It is just at the right temperature I want it to be...

Semalam while Kamil was still at the hospital Mom called to say that she has a surprise. Aku pun tunggulah and tetiba muncul my nieces and my mom following from behind, hugging a super huge fish balloon.

Eh ?

Rupa-rupanya it is an air swimming fish, called so because it could fly. We can control its movement by a remote control that moves the tail left and right. It was super cute, with the tail swinging about around the house. It is filled with helium so it is always up in the air therefore sometimes while we were watching the telly, it will bob slowly towards us like a real pet.

Therefore Abang totally loved it.

U-hm... loved.

Early this morning I was rudely woken up by the most pitious cry I have ever heard. I jumped from the bed, went around the room looking for my glasses and raced downstairs while yelling his name.

I found my 11 year old sobbing desolately in the living room, sitting atop my new coffe table while his new giant pet fish bobbing above him. "He is a mess ! All his parts are coming apart !"

I looked at it again and saw the balancer was undone, a fin kelepet ke tepi and the propeller kat belakang was on Abang's lap. Hmmm.....

I looked at my son again and his sobs were heart wrenching. Tears were streaming down his face and he sported a pained look. His huge eyes were trained at me, hoping that I could do something.

I was stumped of what to do. Really aku masih mamai from sleep and I can't think straight. He then opened the manual and read while sobbing, trying to figure out how to re-attach the propeller. I sighed and said, "Come to me baby, don't be sad. I'll buy you a new one...."

Big mistake because he screwed his eyes shut and said, "Tapi kesian lah this little guy... I just cannot replace him ... "


Okay, okay........

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Sejak malam Khamis aku di sini

Al kisah...

Tuesday morning around 10 Kamil called from the office toilet. Stomach pain he said, been purging since he got there and feeling nauseous.

Noon, he called again to say things are progressively getting worse and he felt dizzy.

Afternoon I urged him to go see a doctor.

I arrived home around 6 pm to see a very ashen faced husband. From the time I set foot in the house until about 10 pm, he vomitted like 10 times, couldn't keep anything down. Doctor at the local hospital didn't give him anything for his fever at all.

SO around midnight I took him to SJMC.. or SDMC now. Doctor wanted to hook him up on a saline drip but he refused.

Wednesay and Thursday he got worse. Therefore Thursday night I took him to SDMC again with a night bag on standby in the car. As expected he was admitted.

And so I have been here since Thursday night. It is Saturday and we were hoping that he would be discharged today. No go. He suddenly developed breathing difficulties during the night and has been hooked on nebulizer.


Our children are upset. They have started to get very clingy, calling every hour or so.

I am not upset but the room is really cold. I am left shivering when the sun ain't shining anymore.

Kamil is upset though. He is a terrible patient. No patience what-so-ever !

Monday, December 19, 2011

Quick updates


Last night I had a girls’ night out. We didn’t go far. Dinner at Tupai2 section 13 aje. We went quite early and came home very,very late. Husbands duly notified of course.

We are lucky, all 5 of us as husbands already expected that we are coming home late. Bukannya buat selalu pun. Hehhe…. So when I hantar Amelia and Min home, takde lak drama laki tak nak bukak pintu… HEhhehe…. Jubei’s husband picked her up at my house and Cho… her daughter, mom and siblings waited up for her. Cho is based in Labuan now and she came back for work… So probably her husband waited in Labuan for her call to say that she is already home safe.

Back at work. Problems and worry came back too. Whether we can make the target. Deliver all that is expected. Worrisome, that.

Abang had his snip-snip 2 weeks ago. Sian anak mak. I didn’t do a thing. I didn’t even take a look. Well, I saw… But it was all accidental. And I didn’t sleep a wink that night because it looked monstrous. I was shocked beyond belief at the sight of it. I was convinced it didn’t go well at all, the healing and the actual snip-snip. I thought I saw pus, is why. So I woke up at the wrong side of the bed the next morning, berated Kamil for not taking a closer and proper look at my son’s wee wee and begged my mom to do something.

Anyway, apart from that episode, I let Kamil handled it. It is in his familiar territory anyway. He tried to be very gallant about it, you know being in charge. Tried is the operative word because it didn’t last long. He snapped when I refused to have a look. But I reasoned that I wouldn’t know what to look for anyway. And I promised him when Adik gave birth I will be there. This is really a man’s thing. I have no business poking my nose in this.

He is okay now. And looked so grown for some reason. Anak mak dah besar… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!

Had a karaoke session with my siblings during the weekend. Biasalah, kena melayan MI. It is our duty to actually entertain him. I have no idea who died and made us his court jester. Adik wouldn’t let go of the mike. She sang every song there is to be sung. Yang mana dia tak tahu pun she duly read the lyrics. Heheheh…

Abang is a serious singer. He didn’t dance or even tap his feet. He stood up straight and sang, face all solemn. Pelik.


Saja nak cerita. One day, after like one whole day of bersabar with Adik’s mucking and clowning about, I said in exasperation, “Kenapalah I am given a clown instead of a princess ?” She stopped being noisy and said, “Allah is punishing you, of course. There must be something that you did !”


Thursday, December 08, 2011


Hey fellas...

It is not that I didn't want to write... or I don't have anything to write about.

I have plenty to write about, actually.

Recent holiday we took,
Abang sunat (Owww !),
Preparation for future trip (this is the best part)

But work happened. I just did not have any time at all to squeeze in blogging.


I have some time now... but I can only manage bits and pieces of news only. I really have to return to my work.

Kamil said work will never end. True, but if I stop then it will pile up and then it will really never end.

Sigh..... Changes again, as far as work is concern.

Good changes. But then added responsibility for me and having to learn new tricks. I have to fill in a shoe, you see. A big shoe at that. So am struggling. Although I am excited. But I am struggling.

I will get better. I know I will. Soon, I hope.

In the meantime, back to work, folks.

See you when I see you.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Penat weii...............

Phew.... !

I am so knackered and sleepy. But can't go to sleep yet as I haven't finished packing and seriously, there is no place for me to sleep in my own bed since Abang and Adik dah bergelimpangan on top of it awal-awal.

Tomorrow, off to Bakun...


Macam penat aje dengar kan ? 2 hour flight followed by 3 hour car ride... Extremely bumpy car ride I must add.

Yawn... I really should sleep. We had a very busy day today.

At 7 we were already in the car to hantar Adik to school. Rombongan sekolah hari ni.. to TUDM airbase, Planetarium then Lake Garden, specifically Taman Rusa. Hujan dah turun rintik-rintik when Kamil opened the gate, via the remote control. Tapi tak mau bukak.


Pi check rupa-rupanya the washer was a bit loose and sort of obstructed its movement. Damn ! Kamil had to dismantle it and while dok busy godek-godek, the rintik-rintik turned to extremely fat droplets at a much, much faster speed and in droves.

Must it rain now ? Heavily ? Now ?

I ran to get brollies and when I got to him, he was already soaking wet. Alhamdullilah we managed to opened the gate by 7.15 and rushed to send Adik. Dalam kete sebab baju basah Kamil tak nak pakai seat belt as tak mo sandaq to the seat.. so the car went Beep ! Beep ! Beep ! the whole way. Aku dengan kesejukan and dripping wet really could not take the damn noise. I could already feel the dreaded migraine dropping by and arriving soon. Waaarrgghhh !

We singgah Immigration to buat my passport. Going on a holiday next week and I need to re-new it. Punyalah ramai orang and it was not even 8 yet. Seperti biasa, the passport re-newing kiosk rosak. Benci tau !!!!

Because Kamil had to switch cars with his staff at the office by 8.30 we really can't wait and off we went to another Immigration office to try our luck. Lagi haru. Punya ramai orang berhimpit macam tin sardin. I did not even bother to check if the kiosk is working there.

What to do... Have to wait until I return from Bakun then.

Waited for Kamil sekejap at his office then Kamil bawak Abang and I makan nasi lemak kat Kampung Baru. Sedap jugak. Not the best ever but tasty lah... Abang asked for sambal sikit which shocked Kamil. He didn't realise anak dia dah boleh makan sambal... Unlike him yang masih take his nasi lemak without. HHehhehehe............. Tak tahan pedas.....

Anyway I had to swallow a couple of paracetamol with my breakfast sebab by then mata aku dah kecik tahan sakit.

Rushed to hantar Abang to his piano class pulak. Then went to his parents' house to take our car and change the plate number. FIL bought a new car and wanted our plate number, so now our old car has a very new number. And looks weird. Percayalah, I would not be able to recognise that car even if it talked to me. Btw our car was at FIL's house because he borrowed it while waiting for his new car to arrive.

Fetched Abang from his class. While we were in a toy shop to look for a birthday present, FIL called and ajak lunch at a Chinese Muslim restaurant.

Errkkk ! Just had nasi like an hour ago tapi pegilah jugak.

So... fetched his parents and ate again. To be polite I ate the lauks only sebab taking nasi again would just be overkill. Heheh...

Singgah beli lunch for Bibik first before balik.

Then by 3 keluar pulak for Abang's next class. While he was there we went to the birthday party. Tension lah jugak sebab pegi birthday party budak 5 tahun tak bawak anak. But.... what to do.. We still have to honour our friend's invitation so pegi lah jugak.

It turned out to be a HUGE do ! I really expected to just duduk makan-makan while we politely sing the birthday song and watch the birthday girl bukak hadiah. But .. we were greeted with khemah, clowns, full catering with a variety of food. Ada deejay lagi...

Duduk sat (had cupcakes, karipap and coq badak which I shared with Kamil and a bit of pengat pisang) then ambik Abang and A who usually come home with us sebab nak main dengan Abang. Pukul 6 keluar lagi sebab Abang ada extra piano class (cikgu baru tak puas hati dengan cikgu lama punya pengajaran so she has been conducting extra lessons for Abang, FOC. Nice kan ? So dedicated......). Met A's mom at the music school to deliver her son while Kamil shot off to Adik's school to pick her up. Kamil then came back to the music school to pick us up. Sempat pulak budak-budak tu mintak Baskin Robbin dari bapak eh...

Balik to mandi and solat and what not and by 7.45 keluar balik to Subang Parade sebab I need a new laptop bag. Dah kena curi kan ? Mangkuk ayun punya pencuri. Had pizza and pasta at the new Market Place in Subang Parade. Tak sedap.. so don't bother lah aaa........ Hehhehehe........ Dessert pun tak sedap. I was really dissapointed with their pumpkin pie.

Balik... packed sedikit sebanyak, then teringat kena hantar report to my boss.. so with a very HUGE sigh fired up the laptop first, send the email .. then dah hooked up on the net tu.. alang-alang kan...

So... here I am......

Aku serious penat !!!

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Selamat hari raya Aidil Adha.

Selamat Hari Raya !

Mak Pak kami balik Penang so apa kah anak-anak yang tak pi sekali ni kena buat ? Masak le...

CY made kuah kacang. I was supposed to masak rendang ayam tapi sebab nak buat soto lagi, chocolate cuppies with strawberry cream topping lagi so rendang we used the frozen and instant ones yang mak kami masak. Selesai.

Ada lemang. I bought it for RM18. Terkejut gak sebab I expected it to be paling mahal RM8. Tapi sebab I haven't bought one in ages, so I thought inflation happened since my RM8 purchase eons ago.

Sekali keluar kat berita TV3 yang confirmed my expectation was correct. Giler apa kena tipu beli lemang. Dah lah separuh masak.

For the soto, I only fried half of the begedil as I wanted to give options to people who is afraid of oil... like moi. Haha....

Anyway, we started cooking quite late on the eve of Raya. Bersantai dan melepak kat Uptown dulu. We only finished all work around 2am and lepas tu bergelimpangan all around the house. Kamil dah awal-awal lagi tidur sebelah CY's son N in the living room. So did Moggy. My darling cat was the one yang selalu teman budak tu tidur whenever he is alone. Comel kan ?

Abang slept on the sofa. Adik, MI and CY in the library, tertidur while watching Smurfs.

Aku of course tarik selimut sebelah Kamil and terkejut sakan bila N bangun for his night feed. Wei.... dah tak biasa wei... Aku pening kepala sampai sekarang sebab bukan saja terkejut beruk dengar dia nangis, habis gorilla and siamang keluar sekali.

But he is such a pleasure to wake up with. Diam aje pastu when he saw us, terus sengih and gelak-gelak. Sebijon macam Abang. Sigh.......

Anyway, when we woke up for N's night feed, I changed his nappies sekali, went to the kitchen to throw the toxins in the bin, turned the water tap on .. and no water came out.

I was confused a bit but I was desperate to get back to sleep so I ignored it.

Woke up to sambung masak and memories of the wee hours in the morning before came back. Ada ke raya-raya takda ayaq.

Called Syabas and was duly informed that the very, very precious water will come back at 3.

Apa nak buat ? I shipped Abang adn Adik to CY's house for their bath and aku sambung masak sengsorang.

They came back and we ate and tidur.

Hehehhe........ what a raya, not !

Friday, November 04, 2011

Nak kata Green Lantern... I don't think so........

Lupa nak cerita.

Tuesday night Kamil and I went to pump petrol for his car along Federal Highway.

Afterwards when he tried to re-join the highway, a car from behind flashed their light so he waited until they passed before he entered the road.

Suddenly a flash of green light struck my eyes and shocked the both of us. And then it happened again. It came from the car right in front of us, the car that flashed at Kamil earlier. I saw the passenger from the car shone a green laser like light to his side mirror and the light ricocheted to us.

I saw them laughing while I rubbed my eyes.

I still saw them laughing when they did it for the third time.

So I called the cops.

Well I dialed 999.

The operator answered with “Ya, Cik Puan Kamil. Cik Puan dalam kecemasan ?”
Heheh……. Terconfuse jap. Macam mana lak minah ni can know me….

But I informed her of what happened and she passed the line to Polis Trafik Shah Alam. The policeman on the other side said, “Dia orang saja main-main tu….”

Memang le ! “Sebab tu Encik kena tangkap dan bagi amaran. Bahaya tau ! Mata saya dah sakit !”

I mean luckily it did not hit Kamil’s eyes. If it did, he could have lost his grip on the car and we could have been involved in an accident.

“Ya ya.. Kami akan cuba cari…”

Seriously aa ? What to carinya ? I gave you the plate number, the make of the car plus the damn colour. I am sure it would have been no problem for them to find the culprits especially since minah jawab 999 tu pun boleh kenal aku…

Betul tak ?

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Merepek di kala demam

I have the flu, ladies and gentlemen.

Been feeling and experiencing it since Sunday. But then I have been rather poorly for the past 3 weeks, really. However when I looked at my harassed boss no.2, I didn’t have the heart to take MC. In my 1 and a half year with him, I have never seen him take even 1 day of MC. I only know that he is under the weather when his eyes are small. Sian dia. Sakit kepala tuh.

Our ex-boss pun macam tu. He only ever took MC for 2 days. Itupun because he had measles. Actually he should have taken like 1 week so it was pure luck none of us berjangkit from him.

Anyway I had a crazy weekend. On Saturday my house were filled with people. First a colleague and his wife came, then my sisters, then my BFF A, then IRM and his son, then my closest friend J, then my mom then….. takde dah. Itu aje.

It was fun but I was sad I didn’t make anything. Percaya tak ? I knew my colleague was coming and I was planning to bake chocolate valentine cuppies, a rich chocolate cake with gorgeous strawberry cream topping. Tapi sebab aku mengukur jalan with A pegi tailor so tak sempat.


For dinner because my sisters remained at my house to melepak, I made carbonara with crispy baguettes and fried calamari dipped in hot salsa. Sedap…. I kid you not. Yalah, sendiri masak kan…

Sunday pagi-pagi lagi I went out with A again. This time she took me for a Javanese massage in KL. I went with the end in mind to go for a massage and I ended up buat bekam.

Sakit !

And don’t ask how come sampai ke situ perginya. I was more worried about Kamil’s reaction when he sees the many, many round shaped bruises because he simply hates that. If I go for spas ke, urut ke and if I come back with apa-apa tanda, all the angins from the four corners of the world will surely masuk his badan.

“Tak sakit ke ? Why must you go through all these pain ?” is something aku sangat takde hati nak layan and answer.


Notwithstanding his angin I think the treatment went well. I was scheduled for another visit but mengenangkan his reaction.. I asked my sister to take it instead.

So since Sunday night I have been feeling the flu. Monday it attacked my head and throat. Tuesday I told kakak secretary that I think I definitely won’t come on Wednesday because I couldn’t concentrate on my work due to the throbbing pain. They were surprised when I terpacul kat office on that very Wednesday. I was not so surprised though. Then today my kakak secretary MC and the other kakak secretary EL.

Lucky them.

My boss looked at me and said that I will be able to rest during the long weekend. Understood. Oh.. he is not being mean, but he needs help. I truly appreciate that that is why I am not pissed off with him. He is a good boss, trust me.

So tomorrow… let us see. Pray for my health, kay ?

Friday, October 28, 2011

It's Friday...

So today around 5 pm I called home and asked Bibik to "keluarkan daging...". She of course did what she was told but that is lah. She didn't bother to soak it in water to speed up the thawing process so when I got home at 6.30 the damn thing was still as hard as rocks.

So when I saw the thing still solid molid, aku rendam and hoped that she will emulate what I did in the future. Aku bukan apa, I just do not want to start to talk sebab when I talk kang kecik hati. And second, when I start I need all the willpower in this whole darn world to stop.

Kang ko tak suka aku tak pasal-pasal kang.

Anyway... I was summoned by a bigwig just now. Kecut jap. But before I went I informed boss no.2 whom encouraged me to tell boss no.1. Boss no.1 cringed and asked if I am okay and of course I am okay. I did the damn report so whatever it is dah prepare lah apa2 yang perlu jawab.

When I returned, my 2 bosses looked at me and was relieved when I can explain our report well. Boss no.2 whispered to me that boss no.1 said if I got hammered, just tell the bigwig that it was all his, boss no.1's doing.

Awww..... So nice. So thoughtful. What a good boss. Terharu jap.

So now still waiting for the beef to thaw a bit more. Then boil it whole, then slice it, then fry the slices in deep oil, remove from oil, remove some of the oil, then fry garlic, onion, galangal and lemongrass in the oil, add ketchup, nampla, oyster sauce and daun limau purut, add salt and sugar and voila ! daging masak merah. As my darling Jubei's recipe. Sedap tau.

Sup suhun with prawns and veg dah siap.

And just heard the sound of the 'tup' sound from the rice cooker.

Better start looking at the beef again before the hungry people come home.

Take care. Hujan ni... best tido...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Emo lepas kena rompak

Wow... I really haven't been here in a long time. Such a lazy blogger, I am. Or not... There are other reasons that stopped me from writing.. of which I could not share.... haha.

But one other reason is...House was broken into. A-hmm.... All 3 laptops gone, the Ipad, video cam and of course my sanity because of the fact that the sanctity of my home was violated. Second of all was because gone with the laptops are our family pics.

Itu yang buat aku went berserk kejap.

Gone are our holiday snaps, impromptu shots and whatever still photos of our years.

Bila the pics were gone, I started to get concerned about the things that we do have.. our video tapes. Aku paksa Kamil to replace the video cams (first burglary, video cam guna small tapes yang kena pau... Yang incident terbaru ni yang guna small cds... so Kamil kena beli dua-dua.. ahaks !)so that I can watch busy trying to salvage whatever that is left of my children when they were smaller.

The first cd that we watched was a shock. So shocked I was, I cried uncontrollably while my family tried to watch the video and gaped at my tears at the same time.

Abang was about 4 and Adik probably just reached her first year. It was obvious that the whole family just woke up from an afternoon nap and apparently after we returned home from our first ever vist to Alamanda.

Now, I do not remember the details of that trip before but after watching that tape, everything came whooshing back to me in a rush. The memories came shooting in from all corners and I was reeling from all these mixed emotions. I smiled and I laughed and I was mesmerised.

But the one that made me cry ? The voice of my son. I did not remember that he used to sound like that ! How sweet it was, how babyish he sounded. He had sort of like husky voice and the words he used ! And the way he looked when he talked, how his eyes played and the expressions on his face.

How could I have forgotten all that ?

Aku nangis because I missed that boy... and because of who he was at that time... So innocent and trusting and ... well my little boy.

Aku tak tidur malam tu because I kept thinking about him at that age. Did I hug him enough ? Was I always there for him ? Did I ever hurt him, ignored him or just plainly didn't see him because I was busy with work or watching the telly ?

In that video he talked about "the secret place". I remember it so well now... We were going to Alamanda(which he called Alamanda Subang Parade) and he kept badgering me on our our destination. You know kids, they wouldn't be satisfied with just Alamanda. A lot of info needed to be dispensed to satisfy their curiosity and thus to shut him up I told him that we are going to a secret place and this secret place does not like inquisitive little boys.

On the way (well.. we actually lost our way and Kamil was busy going round and round and round) my little boy got a bit restless and to distract him I pointed to a red hill and told him that it was a volcano.

And now I remember his face... when he looked at the "volcano" so full of wonder. He looked and looked and looked not saying a thing until he lost sight of it. Then he jumped at me, so full of questions and I had to make them all up as we go along.

And in that tape, he still talked about the volcano...

And sebab itu kot aku nangis...

Kalau aku boleh, I will upload the clip here. Just for you guys to see...

Sunday, September 25, 2011


Urrghhh.......... what an indulgent weekend !

Received about 4 invitations tapi I only fulfilled family ones. The rest, Kamil's client and 1 ex-colleague I had to decline. I really hate makan sampai kembung. Cakap aje... because even though I went to one house for lunch and another house for dinner, still kembung jugak.

Kamil's Mak Teh served mee kari. Tengah makan baru perasan udang masak tempoyak. How lah can I miss that one. Ambik lah jugak sikit and it was amazing. Pekat dengan tempoyak, which I love even though I do not take durian. Haha.

Since we are still bibikless, balik to clean the house and tackle the laundry. There were loads. Luckily Kamil is able to take half the load.

For dinner went to Kamil's Mak Ngah's house and they had live keawtiaw and satay cooking, cendol and pasemboq. Makan lagi.

Slept with heavy stomach so it was not that peaceful.

Today we cleaned the house again. And cleaned. And more cleaning.

Bila bibik takdak baru lah perasan that she is not very good at keeping house. Borderline lazy lagi sebab I couldn't see the effort at all. Bibik Yati last time memang tak pandai but the effort is there. Yang ini... hmmmmmmmm.... Setakat elok nak jaga anak-anak ajelah.

Aku ni... kalau tak pandai takpe, boleh diajar tapi kalau malas tu yang susah. Hmmm............ Nak buat macamana ? It is rather hard to get a good maid. Walaupun this one Kak M yang carikan seperti biasa but she could not guarantee her efficiency, kan ? She can only promised me that she can be trusted, itu saja.

Jadilah. Beggers cannot be choosers and since I am not the type to marah-marah... I just have to bear with her.

Tomorrow I start training. Seminggu siap. Dok pulun siapkan report ni...

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Cerita bodoh bulan posa

Okeh... meh aku cerita...

Satu hari during ramadhan, all of us broke our fast kat TGI. All of us were there.... so I took the opportunity to ajak adik-adik aku tolong angkat pondok aku from the left side of the house, to our patio on the right side.

My BIL MD cakap ok aje and ajak to buat kerja-kerja pemindahan malam tu gak.

They all came around 10 pm and mulalah Kamil, MI, MJ, MH and MD flexed their muscles. It was not an easy job kay sebab ada halangan di setiap perjalanan. But MD dah studied the pondoks (ada 2 masalahnya),keliling rumah tengok topography and all, duduk memikio cara-cara yang paling sesuai and off they went.

Aku nengok aje. After they sucessfully placed the first one, tiba-tiba this horrible smell assaulted our nostrils. It was beyond awful. Smelt like fresh cat poo. Check-check ropanya MI yang dah terpijak. Hehehheheh.... Meraung le mamat macho itu sambil mengamuk marah Moggy. Sorry ek. Moggy tu ada class, he wouldn't do such thing. Plus, all the while he was in the kitchen... so it wasn't him. Whatever it is, puaslah kita orang berguling bantai gelak kat dia sampai dia meraung lagi sekali.

That is why, the next one MI tak mau buat. Mengada.

Anyway, we sat bersembang until past midnight and they left with plans to sahur roti canai kat kedai Mamak.

Pukui 4.30 pagi Kamil dah pi collect adik-adik and mak aku. Some kita jumpa kat sana. While eating, my Maksu sms-ed suruh mai rumah dia ambik barang. Kamil buat perangai gila and ajak pegi Damansara dan-dan tu jugak. So pegilah aku dan dia, anak-anak kami, mak aku and MI.

Tak sampai 5 minit dalam kereta, the horrible smell from yesterday mai balik. MI ni tak cuci betul ke ? Belek kasut dia and adalah sikit yang masih tinggal. Aduih.. letih kay. Punya lah busuk, aku pening kepala.

So Kamil berenti kat petrol pump seksyen 9 and suruh MI basuh the offending selipar kat situ. Dah dia keluaq, kami pun keluaq lah. Marah lah pulak dia.

"Tak payah lah semua orang keluaq !" Eh, suka hati lah. Kamil went around the vicinity to cari kayu, while mak aku bagi instruction macam mana nak buat kat MI. Aku dok berdiri sambil gelak aje... Entah kenapa kelakar sangat.

It didn't seem to work, masih ada banyak lagi walaupun water was used and Kamil jumpa kayu to help scrape it off. MI dah angin tahap gaban dah masa tu. Why, I dunno.

Then mak aku grabbed the shoes from him and sambil mencangkung, mak aku ketuk-ketuk kasut tu kat rumput. Aku ngan Kamil pi bantai gelak lagi because the sight of her in her jubah, matahari pun belum naik lagi, tepi jalan sambil dok mencangkung tu sangat kelakar bagi kami.

Tambahan pulak si MI menjerit-jerit suruh mummy berhenti but she ignored him. MI entah kenapa naik gila and while aku and Kamil dok gelak and mak kami dok ketung-ketung kasut tu atas rumput, dia nya dok menjerit-jerit, "Family ni clown tau ! Clown ! Clown ! ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH "

Lagi le aku and Kamil bantai gelak....

Aku tak tahu kenapa aku rasa the incident sangat kelakar.

Aku tak tahu kenapa MI kena angin.

Maybe we are really clowns.

If only I took pictures.


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Merepek di kala pening



I am very happy. Tersangat happy.

But also, I am quite worried. About something that is totally unrelated to my source of happiness.

So… last night, my worry and extreme delight made it quite difficult for me to sleep.
So a bit hazy now.

A bit ? Who am I kidding ? Extremely hazy.

I have loads to do. Have to finish them by tomorrow morning as I have a meeting after lunch and will be off the whole of next week for training.

It has been awhile since I been trained.

Tension jugak.

Ngantuk lah.

Semalam aku naik hantu. I told my kids already to jangan buat perangai sampai Mummy jadi Pontianak. Degil.

I am the sweetest so and so around okay (heheh) tapi bila aku angin, you’d better run.

Ooohh.. berlagak.

My staffs nak datang rumah. Hari tu quite a few couldn’t make it. So aku pun apa lagi, busy le nak ngebat rumah. At least dapat tukar cushion cover yang dah koyak rabak tu pun jadi lah.


Btw kelmarin, Abang nak naik atas. Sibuk keliling rumah cari Moggy. When I saw him happily carrying Moggy out of the kitchen, I shook my head in resignation. Punyalah penakut, kucing pun jadilah nak jadikan teman.

But when he saw me shaking my head away, he said, “Saya bukan takut lah, Mum… I just need companionship…”

Hehhe… Amboi hai…. Cepatlah aku dapat menantu agaknya.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Raya do

So… Raya dah nak habis.

Aku kononnya nak cerita sangat pasal tragedy kelakar bangat sebelum Raya tak pun cerita-cerita sampai sekarang. The mood for that story dah hilang dah… Hehhe…

Last week we invited Kamil’s past and presents colleagues datang rumah for raya. Because aku tak puas makan ketupat palas and kuah kacang (I am a kuah kacang person… rendang doesn’t do that much for me…) I served that together with kawan2nya ketupat and rendang, plus laksa Penang and the usual Minestrone soup with crusty baguette (I really should start making other type of soups sebab satgi orang boring mai rumah aku…. Nak buat mushroom soup leceh lak.. Nak kena blend soup tu at the end….).

Mum made some meehoon goreng sebab takut tak cukup buuutt…. Aku ni segan lak nak serve it to my guests sebab pernah sekali when I was small, aku dengar orang bersembang pasal menu at a party and “biasalah kat Malaysia ni birthday party mesti ada meehoon goreng…” was mentioned. And dah lama-lama spaghetti Bolognese was mentioned alongside meehoon goreng. So sebab takut orang boring, aku akan cuba elakkan from serving these 2 dishes. Tapi Kamil keluarkan jugak sebab Mummy’s meehoon goreng is his favourite. Sekejap je habis pulak. Soo…. orang dah tak boring dah lah kot…. Haha.

I also made chocolate cup cakes and caramel congo bars which one of my staffs tapau-ed home for his family. Mana mamat tu dapat tupperware Allahualam because I definitely didn’t give it to him. I also baked marble cheesecake and of course chocolate and vanilla tarts. Must reduce the eggs when I next whip out a batch of them vanilla creams.

Alhamdullilah the guests didn’t come in droves but they arrived in batches so we weren’t super busy and had time to talk and sit down with the guests.

My boss came with his lovely, lovely family. Before that Kamil’s Dutch boss arrived right on the dot and I shook his hand saying, “How marvelously mat salleh of you to come on time..” just to make Kamil a little anxious. I suspect that he is a bit nervous when I am in the same vicinity of his bosses as he knows I like to tease.

My aunt and uncle came all the way from Perak so yeay ! I was happy and Kamil was grateful.

We have taken out the humongous table from the library and put it in the kitchen instead as the kitchen table kan dah pi ke patio. The light green table made a wonderful working table, what with its size and girth. I placed a two seater and a long backless bench in the library to fill the space, laid out an old carpet and voila ! a much cosier library materialized. During the makan-makan, we left the side door opened and it was sooo nice in there, what with the wind and the rustling of the leaves from the rambutan tree just outside the room.

Sooo nice…. Especially considering that I didn’t have to spend any money to furnish the new addition to the house as expected. Well… maybe I have to re-upholster some of it. Shouldn’t be too expensive.

My guests prayed in the library and when my aunt and my cousins were in the room, I saw them baring-baring sambil sembang-sembang and they looked peaceful and tranquil… and oh perasannya aku.

Anyway, it was a nice makan-makan. Food tak banyak yang tinggal and my guests stayed for quite awhile to lepak and just enjoy themselves. Kamil’s boss stayed for almost 2hours which was nice. Kamil’s aunt and her family also stayed for quite some time, bergossip berbagai with his sister sambil gelak-gelak. One of Kamil’s ex-staff siap mandikan anak lagi. I am glad that people are comfortable in my home.

Masalahnya we didn’t take any pics. Sayang….

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Cerita pendek hari raya... cerita panjang.. Sat na....

Selamat Hari Raya ! Maaf zahir dan batin.

It has been awhile since I wrote. And I do want to write, especially about just before raya and raya itself buuutt... I thought it would be nicer with pics. Buuuttt the pics are only available via Facebook and... apparently you can't copy from Facebook and paste it elsewhere.

So really right now I am waiting for my very inefficient sister to pass me the pics.

As usual, pagi raya with the ILs. Then around 12 baru le dapat aku balik rumah mak... like 5 minutes away. Second year in a row I ajak Kamil balik kampung dia and dua kali jugaklah dia tak nak.

So what to do ? Ikut my sister balik Seremban. Hehe....

Malam we visited Bab and Mami Ela and it was really fun sebab my cousin Zaf is back from Dubai. It had always been such a pleasure talking to him, especially since he and my husband both adore each other so they talked a mile a minute. Ada je benda nak cerita.

Second day, pagi-pagi lagi aku cabut balik Perak. Best.... And as usual, aku pegi solo sebab my other family members cannot bergerak pagi2 one.

Best kat Perak. At one relative's house we were served Mee Kari Ketam. Terangkat segala apa benda yang boleh diangkat. Kita orang tension sebab dok memikio macamana le masak benda alah ni. Macam masak mee kari biasa ke ?

My aunt punya lah curious sebab esok pagi when we woke up, tu dia... Mee Kari Ketam for breakfast. Berebut kita orang makan. Menjadi, buutt... kurang manisnya. Maybe they had better ketams than my aunt.

And oleh sebab itu juga, I will try to make some this Saturday.

Tunggu ya for the verdict.

Anyway we had wanted to stay for 2 nights. By 4 pm dah angkat bag dah... dah kat pintu dah kita orang pun... But punyalah busy bersembang, when I looked at the watch dah pukul 6 !

So Kamil said, toduq sajalah lagi satu malam. "You okay ke ?"

You asking me ? Of course le aku okay. Rumah my family maaa ?

Happy !!!

Anyway, yesterday Mom called to announce the death of my aunt in Kedah. My dad's sister-in-law, mom of my 4 cousins. Terkejut gak because we didn't know. Patut le mom ajak balik Kedah but she didn't tell us why. Kita orang malas le pulak nak balik because the very loooong journey.

Anyway, I am quite sad that we didn't go. I simply can't. Berguling atas lantai boss aku kalau aku ambik cuti lagi..

Dah malam baru my cousin teringat nak sms all his cousins. Aku tak perasan pun until my other cousin called around midnight to ask. Sian. Aku tak mau kacau that is why I didn't call. Busy kan ? Tengah sedih kan... Tak yah lah aku kacau.

Anyway, dah tak ramai dah menakan aku up north. Most of us are here so aku kesian jugak ngan depa. Tapi I am sure adik-beradik belah Arwah ada to offer help.

Takpelah. Maybe next week aku balik utara to check up on my poor uncle. My Tok Cik pun meninggal kat rumah depa. So I can use the opportunity to visit her grave jugak.

Al-fatihah for Mak Arah, yek ?


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Today's ramblings

Soooo patio ku dah siap... Hehehhe...

Siap bayar pun so ... selama beberapa tahun aku akan dok sengap-sengap sebab pulus is gone...

I have taken pictures but bluetooth on this computer has gone wonky so I can't upload yet at the moment. This morning we huffed and puffed the kitchen dining table there and it is okay. The one that is not okay as I have predicted is the very empty space in the kitchen.


So now tinggal nak bawak turun the day bed. And of course items to buy. And boy they are quite extensive.

1. 2 single seaters
2. Tiffany lamp (I refuse to have any other type)
3. Side table
4. Fresh new sheets for the day bed

Alamak... So .. ehm, ehm... kalau hangpa mai don't be shocked if my patio is empty... Banyaknya nak belanja !

Anyway, the ceiling fan in our upstairs family room rosak and has not been working for quite some time. When the electricians came to sort out the patio, I asked them to look at the fan and voila ! in no time, dah elok.

But the kids didn't know it and imagine their surprise when Abang accidently switched it on, it rotated. "Mummy ! The fan is working again !" I rounded up the stairs to see my children in agog. Heheh...

"What did you do ?"

"I dunno.. I just turn it on !"

So... here we go.

"This is really a miracle of Ramadhan ! Itu lah korang prayed and prayed and suddenly it repaired on its own !"

Abang still held his surprise and wonder face. Adik's pulak has turned to confusion and a bit sceptical.

"Itulah, what ever we do dalam dunia ni, kita kena mintak dekat Allah.. blah, blah, blah...*sermon* .... blah, blah... *lecture*...."

And while aku dok syok sendiri bersyarah, Adik leaned to Abang and said, "Saya tak pernah pun doa for the kipas to work...."

Abang shrugged and I just had to stop. No point anymore kan ?

Heheh... dah besar dah... Mummy tak boleh nak pull their legs dah.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Merepek lagi..

To say that I am tensed in really an understatement. But how else can you say it, yeah ? I have so many, many things running in my head oftentimes aku tak leh nak filter those yang real and yang merepek. Heheh..

Today, my ex-boss ajak berbuka with him. Actually it should be quite a big do with the rest of our ex-team tapi aku kan… I just didn’t get around inviting everybody. Tengok-tengok dah Monday, the day of our supposed buka and he sms-ed to ask kat mana kita buka.

Err…. heheh…

Thus I have to buka with him today.

Aku bukan tak nak. I have a very good relationship with him still. But, aku nak terawikh, that is all. Especially akhir-akhir Ramadhan ni rasa macam tak cukup aje ibadat, macam ibadat aku just like any normal days. Somehow I have always felt that ibadat during Ramadhan must be extra special.

And tolong berebut dengan ibadah for the hours and minutes of Ramadhan is nostalgia. Ramadhan also is the month of keluar malam-malam shopping for Raya, dengar lagu-lagu Raya while looking for baju kurung and what nots. And thus ada sedikit susah nak accommodate all that from 8pm (dah selesai buka) to 10pm (kedai semua dah katup pintu). Aku kan very nostalgic. I need to re-visit things that are familiar to me sebab tu 2 nights before Raya karang baru kami nak kemas rumah Mummy. Kalau malam sebelum Raya tu karang baru Mummy sibuk nak jahit curtains lagi best. The more kelam-kabut it gets, the happier I will be just so that I could re-capture the Raya of my youth.

And that is why I am contemplating to try and pujuk Mummy to masak ketupat atas unggun api like we used to. Don’t think Mum will agree sebab habis rosak rumput dia but.. I wouldn’t know until I try, kan ? I will definitely be baking cakes (butter, chocolate and marbled cheese). Although my choices of cakes has evolved somehow (used to be butter, fruit and apple cakes only).

Anyway, I have always worried about my future Rayas, when I am old and grey and anak-anak dah besar. Anak aku dua. Kalau dua-dua balik kampong mertua, sapa nak Raya dengan aku, ek ? Kalau gilir-gilir pulak, then I will never ever Raya dengan both of my children. Tak ke haru ?

Tambahan pulak that day my big boss asked my colleague on the number of her children which is an impressive 6. When I answered 2 he went, “Why aren’t you more productive ? Later on during Raya, only 2 come home and that is it ?”, shouting out my fears out loud for all and sundry to see.

But I calmly answered that I have 8 siblings and all live in Shah Alam so I still have my siblings and nieces and nephews that will visit me, eventhough I am not confident with that statement, really.

Balik tu, kebetulan CY berbuka at home so aku ceritalah the conversation with my boss, hinting like mad that she and her kids must ensure that my future Rayas would not be empty. Nasib baik dia jawab, “Jom lah kita Raya rumah Mummy lagi… kumpul kat sana ramai-ramai nak ? Adik-beradik pun jadilah….”

Lega. That is why my friends, make sure we live amongst our family and jangan gaduh adik-beradik, okay ? Because not all of us can afford 6 kids.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Aku demam pulak

Sooo…. Aku demam ni.

I didn’t even know it until I stepped into my house and almost collapsed. It was such a busy day at work, I was overly stressed and stretched almost to the limit. I didn’t even perasan the frogs in my throat and the aching body until I collapsed on the sofa.

Mom tak sempat masak so she bought pizza. Okaylah. Luckily she made tenggiri masak taucu and there are leftovers of fucuk and suhun masak lemak so I tapau-ed that for sahur.

I didn’t even make an attempt for terawikh as I didn’t think I could even last solat Isyak.

I told Adik to follow her Tok for terawikh but she said, “But I want to be with you, Mummy……..” Awww….. I was sooo touched, the dull pain on my body temporarily slipped my mind. Temporary aje lepas tu rasa balik.

So by 9 I was already asleep and when Kamil woke me up for soq, I was shocked with the intensity of the pain in my throat and head. It was rather agonizing. Menggagau jugak turun bawah (much more careful nowadays when I tackle them stairs), sakit-sakit tekak pun belasah jugak nasi because I was soooo hungry then I popped a few Panadols and tried to go back to sleep.

Tried is the operative word. How can I sleep when Abang came in squeezed all of his mass between Adik and me, and Adik was sleeping on my shoulder tu. Lepas tu he could not lie still and kept moving and…well, aku redha ajelah.

Boss took one look at me and commented how knackered I looked. I must be more poorly than I thought I was if my exhaustion can be seen underneath all those paint I have started to apply on my face.

And my cuti could not come fast enough….


Saturday, August 20, 2011

Untuk raya... sekejaaaappppp aje...

Last night I had a berbuka puasa do with an orphanage organised by the company. I didn't want to go but boss forced me to so terpaksa jugaklah pergi.

The main reason I didn't want to go was the orphans sebab ... I know I would be crying buckets as soon as my eyes clapped on them.

Surprise, surprise I didn't though. Maybe on account my boss was sitting next to me. But looking at the whole lot of them, so young, so unbelievingly gorgeous, so innocent aku sebak sangat but had to keep them all inside sebab ... well... malu le kat boss.

Anyway, the food was rather good but luckily I didn't have to pay for them sebab I ate like soooo little. Rugi aje. Actually this year, I didn't go to any buffets at all. I know it will be wasted and the exorbitant sum they charge, aku rasa macam rugi sangat. RM50 is too expensive for me already.

Anyway, kebetulan when my colleagues and I did our Maghrib, the orphans were in the surau too and it was such a touching moment for me. I kept grabbing those that were near me asking, "Boleh tak peluk makcik sekejap ?"

Many were willing and it was such a nice feeling to see them shyly but eagerly returned my hugs.

One little girl, so painstakingly adorable in blue tudung, raised her hand happily when I asked, "Sapa nak peluk makcik ni ?" and she ran and jumped on me and the hug she gave me was so tight. Ayaq mata memang mengalir dan dan tu jugak. Then she got up and 5 minutes later she came to me again, arms wide saying, "Saya nak peluk" and so I put her on my lap and I hugged and pinched her cheeks and well.. loved her.

They looked well fed, with nice clothes and well taken care of. But my worry had always been if they get enough hugs, and kisses (I kiss children with my nose), and sweet words thrown at them plus a tickle or two. Itu aje sebab those are the things that children really need.

I asked her name and it was soooo long, pening kepala aku. I asked if I can take her home for raya and the teacher said probably I can because her mom usually doesn't want to take her home. Her father passed away and her mom is an Indonesian that is unable to care for her. But from the looks of it, is not really bothered with her pun.

So I will try. I am gonna try and bring her home for raya and bawak balik kampung.


Friday, August 19, 2011

How to review reports

Cara-cara nak review report staff anda

Step 1

Cuba baca tengok. Don't judge first. Do not think about the grammar mistakes and whatever dark and insidious lurking between the words.

Step 2

Take a deep breath and try to stem your anger. Re-read again, slowly this time eventhough you know changing the speed level is not going to help much.

Step 3

It is better for you to tackle the grammar and vocabulary first before you do the context because sometimes, things do get clearer when everything is fixed nicely. Oh, you might need to get the offender to sit next to you so that you can ask him to explain what is the meaning of all that ****.

Step 4

Ignore his/her sheepishness. It will definitely come as soon as your 3rd correction.

Step 5

Surpress whatever pity you have for him/her by your 10th "What do you mean by this ?" because if you do, they will inadvertantly feel relaxed and will never ever learn. You will be their English teacher forever and ever and ever if you do this (my daughter certainly thinks I am one because of my red pen and angry mutterings while I read them reports !!)

Step 6

Once you delved into their heads and finally understood what he/she was trying to say, read it again to assess the quality of their field work.

Step 7

Explain to them carefully what is missing and ask them to try and 'beef' up the report. Worst case, you have to send them to do field work again.

Step 8

Review them reports again. You are allowed to sigh and shook your head if mistakes are made again. Challenge the contents. Ask them to provide proof of whatever they are saying. Send them away to repair whatever that needs repairing.

Step 9

At this stage you are allowed to cry if things are still not right.

Step 10

Grit your teeth if the aesthetics of the report is not taken care of. Or horrors upon horror if there are still mistakes and errors and points that are without evidence and merit. Point it out to them and ask them clean it up. Again.

Step 11

If the report is still not satisfactory, ask for a soft copy. Once you get the damn thing, do it yourself. Something that you should have done really by Step 4.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Merepek bulan Ramadhan

Cuti aku hari ni...

Sebab aku juga cuti tang lain, aku dok berangan tak mau bangun soq sebab... well what for right ? Tapi Abang asked oh so politely if I can whip up some pancakes for soq, so... terpaksa jugaklah bangun.

Because cuti, the kids tak tiduq as usual after soq. Depa pi bantai tengok telly in my room.. Adik entah kenapa suka sangat series Thin Blue Line, a British series with Mr Bean in it. Jadi police officer siap. Anyway, mengekek-ngekek lah budak2 ni gelak2 sampai menganggu my very much needed slumber. So I chased them out of the room but since my sleep was already disturbed, I couldn't seem to achieve REM.

Bangun and veg in front of the telly while checking on the contractors buat my patio.

Can I just say that it is looking gorgeous, my patio ? Depa tak letak bumbung lagi, baru ada frame bumbung and it is already so damn pretty ! I was contemplating of letting it be like that, no need bumbung... But.. satgi hujan lagu mana ? I intend to have my food there.

Or... not.

Actually we are not sure what is the purpose of the patio, really.

Initial plan memang sebagai dining like my parents' house. So I was thinking of placing the kitchen dining table there instead of buying another one. Aku rasa macam frivolous and melampau lah sangat pulak kalau rumah aku ada sampai 3 dining table.

Okay, fine... Tapi what are we going to do with the empty space in the kitchen now ?

Kamil suggested putting the one from our dining room but then nanti, what are we going to do with that space pulak ?

And I was thinking we must have an option to eat inside the house sebab musim2 nyamuk dok pakat2 keluaq, kami kena makan kat dalam jugak dak ?

So... nak buat living room ? Kena ada telly. Kalau takdak telly memang wasted lah. Ngan aku-aku tak mau duduk tang tu. Hehehhe......... Problem lak. Tapi beranikah nak letak telly kat luaq ? Satgi hilang, haru lah. Bebailah si Kamil.

Anyway, besok2 I will tangkap some gambaq of my almost ready patio, kay ?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Sedih raya dah mula

Semalam Adik told me that Nuzul Al-Quran is the day when Quran goes up to heaven.

“So malam ni Quran saya akan naik ke atas lah….”


“Buat apa naik atas…?”

“Err…. I dunno… “

She cocked her head to the side, in deep thoughts. I didn’t correct her yet because I want to know what is cooking in there.

Then..”Maybe, Allah nak baca kot… Dia nak pinjam……….”


Sigh… you can really make my day lah Adik even though your story sebenarnya terbalik.

Nuzul Quran, little one is the day the first ayat Quran diperturunkan dari Allah and was brought by Malaikat Jibrail to Rasullullah SAW while he was bertapa-ing in Gua Hiraq, where he was commanded to Iqra’ or bacalah.

So really instead of naik, it actually turun you know….


Anyway, pejam celik, pejam celik dah nak raya dah. And seperti biasa and seperti tahun2 sebelumnya dari aku kecik sampai lah aku besar, aku sayu when raya is around the corner. Pantang dengar lagu raya aku mesti rasa nak sebak.

When I was smaller, aku sebik bila I thought about my Arwah Tok Wan who passed away when I was 7. Everytime balik Penang terasa sangat dia tak ada. EVenthough for years he was just there on the bed, but I love being with him. We sort of have a staring contest where I would just look at him and he me. Then I would scrutinise his face and hands where I take note of every mole and wrinkles. And I would inhale him. Scent is very important to me. I would always inhale his scent and feel satisfied when the familiarity of it took over my senses.

I also get veryyyy sebak everytime I waved goodbye to my Tok in Perak when we singgah sekejap on the way to Penang. Sampai dia meninggal, kami memang tak pernah rasa beraya dengan dia. Tak pernah... We usually singgah aje on the way to Penang or on the way back to KL.

Eventhough I was small and he was always smiling when we leave, but I could always sense his sadness sebab tak dapat beraya dengan my mom and us kids.

So bila aku besar ni I got sad kenang kan yang aku tak pernah cium tangan dia pagi raya. And now he is gone. Walaupun it is not my fault, but.... well I still feel guilty.

Nangis dah ni.....

I think I am malancholy by nature. Sebab itu dari kecik I am always studying and inhaling my elders sebab aku macam nak take stock of their presence or their being so that when they are gone, I have something to remember by and to hold on. And then get sad about...

Emotional suicide, a friend told me.

Now of course, tambah sedih ingat kan Shera. Writing her name suddenly felt so alien. Macam she is just a frigment of my imagination. Semalam E was at my home when I returned from work. She didn't come to greet me though because she was bathing. So after hugging my kids, seperti biasa I threw myself on the sofa in front of the telly and tiba-tiba there she was, running happily when she saw me. She sat next to me, body leaning heavily against mine, talking a mile a minute.

While she talked, I carressed her hair and seperti biasa only half listened to the incessant chatter. Dah malam nak tidur baru aku rasa eh, macam kurang aje anak aku. And baru teringat, oh tadi ada extra tapi aku dah pulangkan kat bapak dia. And after like 5 hours baru aku nak rasa sedih that dia dah takde mak. That I am her surrogate mak and... well.... how life can be sooo unfair.

Isshh... tak baik.


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Kisah aku kat sinun........


Dah jumpa blog balik malas pulak nak tulis.

Semalam I was down south again. Dah lama tak pegi. Dulu masa selalu pegi complain memanjang. Dah jarang pegi rindu pulak. Kang dah tak boleh pegi langsung (sebab dah kena jual….), sure meraung.

Anyway… for sahur my colleague ajak pegi makan at a mamak restaurant in front of the hotel. Aku memang kembang tekak nak pegi that particular restaurant sebab demenya jarang sapu lantai. Kalau at the place where your clients can see pun you are not that particular about its cleanliness, I just do not want to imagine what the hidden places (ie the kitchen) look like.

On the way there I saw another restaurant that was opened too. Sedap aku dengar ketung-ketang kuali especially since the kuali was placed right in front of the clients. Ndak jugak aku jenguk jap but my colleague tak nak. Buat dek aje bila aku suggest, so aku pun mengekor dia aje le.

Dah sampai situ, tekak aku makin kembang. Tak lalu aku nak makan Maggie gorengnya. Singgah 7-11 and I bought 2 Zips, a packet of creamed buns and the all important Vitagen.

Rasa loya sampai ke petang, okay ?

Anyway, funny thing happened to me on the way to the airport. My other colleague V suggested that I use this taxi service that he used before to get me to the airport. The pakcik very good he said. Ok le… The driver hensem macam Gerard Butler he said again. Suka hati.

Ada ke halfway to the airport, pakcik hensem seumpama Gerard Butler…punya tukang kebun ni tanya aku, “Cik mengantuk tak ?”

“Ngantuk jugak Pakcik…. Dah bangun sahur kan….”

“Itu lah saya ni pun mengantuk ni ha…..” Err…. patut le bawak teksi terhoyong-hayang sikit.

“Biasanya saya waktu ni tidur kejap kat rumah… 10 minit pun jadilah……….”
Errr………. Okay…

“Cik kisah tak kalau saya berhenti kejap tepi jalan tidur sekejap ?”

What ?

Excuse me, what ?


Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Aku dah tua agaknya... cepat terharu....

I had a lovely and touching buka puasa at my mom’s yesterday.

Mom made pancakes and spaghetti Bolognese for some reason, to the delight of my husband and my son. My daughter who’s taste matches mine were relieved at the sight of cempedak goreng and keropok leko supplied by MH. Then CT and MD came with cara berlauk and a few other kuihs so Adik and I were quite happy.

Anyway, what was so lovely about buka yesterday ? Because kita orang ramai-ramai berkumpul.

My littlest nephew was there, gurgling his milk and looking sooooo cute. He is uber adorable.

My sisters, CT and CY and their hubbies, MD and MH were there. My still single brothers (it is amazing that all my parents’ daughters are married while their sons are still single !) were also there, filling the very small space with their huge bods. Actually we usually sup in the patio but because berbuka is Maghrib time, which is when all the nyamuks (aedes and non-aedes) keluar bersuka-ria so we had to cramp inside. The table only sits 6 so some of us had to sit on the sofa there that only sits 2 (okay…4 if we huddle close) and some on the piano bench.

It was really funny because you could never see the same people on the dining chairs as we run up for prayers in batches and those who got up to replenish their drinks would find their seats now occupied. We had stopped bothering to re-claim our seats as we know the I-don’t-see-your-name-written-here fight would definitely ensued.

I got a bit teary eyed that my husband and brothers-in-law were comfortable enough to enter Mum’s room for their prayers. And when buka time all of us dok sibuk melayan budak-budak makan, my husband actually took a cup to my mom who was busy flipping pancakes.

And when I saw my husband took a bite of bubur caca and passed his bowl to my mom, saying “Ini rasa sirap, Mummy… cuba rasa…” and my mom with furrowed brows took a bite too and suddenly both of them broke into a laugh, I could feel tears threatening to drop. Soon the bowl passed around the table as curious tongues wanted to have a taste too. That somehow buat aku sebek too.

The sight of my husband burping the littlest member of the family then proudly held him aloft for all to see was also quite a touching moment for me. Plus when MD hugged Ana and Esya with utmost affection when they came running towards him, asking about the toys he bought them yesterday.

Or when CY confidently told her husband who came in his Harley that Kamil would send her and the baby home without even checking with Kamil first. She knew Kamil wouldn't mind the 5 minute trip.

Then all of us trooped to Masjid Negeri for Isyak and Terawikh and waited patiently for all the members afterwards eventhough we came in different cars.

Due to that my doa after Isyak was a single “Thank you, Allah for the gift that you have bestowed upon us………”

PS : Oh yeah, sampai rumah Mummy aje MI threw the upstairs window open and yelled, “Korang pegi mana ?”

Hehhehe…. Tertinggal rupanya sorang kat atas.

My mom replied, “Aku nengok ko berposing atas katil… malas nak kacau………..”

Monday, August 01, 2011

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan...

Selamat berpuasa, kawan-kawan.

Pejam celik pejam celik dah puasa again.

And I soooo vividly remember last puasa.

Jatuh tangga and sampai nan la tak baik – baik lagi. Dok berdengkot jugak lagi. Sakitnya dah pi ke lutut pulak. Kamil suspected it is gout (YIKES !!!!!) but I am sure it has got something to do with my ankle which refused to heal properly.

Saturday we went to see Captain America. Boy was he handsome. Because seats were limited, we had to buy the 7.50 show. Mai 7.30 aje all of us (there were 8 of us, the usual 4 plus my 2 brothers, my sister CT and her husband) trooped to the surau and lo and behold ! terkejut kita orang becausevthere were sooo many people there.

Aku terharu tengok these young people usaha nak solat sebelum bersuka-ria. The men’s surau siap berimam lagi and it was sooo filled to the brim, they had to do 2 sessions. Oh.. terharu lagi.

Captain America was amazing !!! He is soooo yummy…. Okay, he and Thor can fight for the yummiest superhero in my world. Iron Man… heheh… tak yah lah. Stay down below, my friend.

Itu cerita malam… Siang-siang as usual the kids’ classes, then jumpa contractor (I am finally adding a PATIO at my house ! Yeay !!!!) then…masak, then hantar budak2 lagi (tapi tak yah ambik sebab Amelia hantar kan… Thanks, hon) then kelam kabut siap for wayang. Bibik on Friday lagi we sent her to Kak M’s house.

Sunday was busy. We tried going to pasar but it was too full. Went for breakfast, then pergi belek my nephew at his own abode, then picked my maid up from Kak M’s house to send her to CY’s, then to my mom’s to say hello but stayed for like 1 hour for cok udang and gossips. Then rushed home to siap then picked up CA at CY’s house for a spot of baju raya kat KLCC. But it turned out CY nak ikut (don’t tell my mom okay because dia belum habis pantang)and she said MI nak ikut tapi.... MI was at mom’s so definitely cannot go and pick him up sebab nanti Mak kami nampak… It was all kelam-kabut. Tulis pun penat.

There were no places to eat at KLCC anymore. Kamil took the children for lunch while I helped CA cari baju for her daughter (which Kamil paid for…. Aww…. Thank you, Babah !) and CY and MH (her hubby) cari baju for their son.

When it was our turn to eat, food court was soooo penuh (it was like 4.30 !) so we decided to go to A&W only to find it was not there!Anymore ! What the…. ! We soon discovered that neither was Burger King, nor DeliFrance not even KFC are still around ! Giler apa ? Yang tinggal Aunty Anne’s so itu jelah aku geget sebab perut dah lapar.

Balik hantar CA and my niece balik dulu then at home we kemas sedikit sebanyak then to my mom’s for dinner of nasi ayam then terawikh !

Penat weii…..

Aku penat….

Anyway… tak sedap hati sikit dengan Bibik baru. I have a feeling that she is going to run away soon.


Well…… dia nak balik raya. While that is understandable, how can she go when she just got here ? Plus Bibik Idah (mom’s bibik) nak balik so 2 households without maids are quite unimaginable. Plus we have to consider the household of my sister who is still in confinement.

I told her she can go back next year. It has always been in practice that our maids have to take turn. Yang penting my mom must have a maid. I also told her she can go back for Raya Haji.

“Suami saya mulanya tak benarkan saya kemari kak. Syaratnya saya harus pulang raya………… baru saya dibenarkan datang..”

Pulak dah……….

Saturday, July 30, 2011


So.... well....


When my blog went missing, I despaired and despaired because I have so many things to say.

I seriously contemplated to create another blog but resisted. I was in agony because there was sooo many things to say and I missed writing.

But now..... Hmmm.........

What to say ?


Never mind lah....

Dah lupa semua.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Dapat balik blog aku ? Yippee !

Hey people....

I am back !!!!!

I lost my blog for awhile and suddenly I got it again.

Happiness ! Sebab there is still an avenue to complain about my husband again... Eh.. Bukanlah... To talk about my life again...

As if...

Until next time. Ciao !

Friday, June 24, 2011

Just wanna say hi...

So it is midnight and as my son always love to say it, it's today's tomorrow !

Indeed ...

I have orders of chicken lasagna and like 200 cream puffs. Okay, the problem with

1) chicken lasagna is I have never done one. I have protested but the person who ordered was confident that I could overcome whatever problem I have in my head. The only time I use minced chicken is for halal scotch eggs (hehhe... have to stress the halalness) and chicken balls. I am not liking the way my chicken ragu is looking right now.

2) cream puffs... tak jadi !! Setelah bertahun-tahun buat, today of all the days it didn't turn out like how it should. And aku super berpeluh sebab the client wants it for her hantaran.

Help !

I was on leave since Tuesday. Kamil... well... dia buat perangai lagi and quit his job. So since he is on in-between-jobs holiday and knowing his perangai yang susah sangat nak ambik cuti, we took the opportunity to have a short holiday in Terengganu. Kamil told the kids he wants to see where I was born. Ada aje....

So we went early Tuesday morning and came back Thursday afternoon. Friday morning we were busy in and out of abang and adik's school then busy beli barang for the orders that I took and then pegi jumpa abang's paed for his appointment.

And then now, aku sakit kaki macam hapa aje, worrying about the cream puffs that are not puffing as they should.

Will tell more about our Terengganu trip next entry.

Anyway, we had a kenduri doa selamat last weekend. Family and extremely close friends only as I couldn't find my cutleries so in order tak nak meminjam dari sapa-sapa and risk losing theirs (cutleries like to hide themselves), so aku invited agak-agak cukup sudu aku aje.


It was a success as far as kenduris go. MI didn't come though. The only way I could think of to lure him back was promising joget lambak after orang balik but still he didn't come so no joget lambak. Darn.... heheh.

Okay, my second batch of cream puffs still failed to puff....

Early morning ketung ketang in the kitchen nampaknya.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

My weekend

So this weekend felt like Hari Raya....

Because we went to sooo many birthday parties rasa macam dok pi open houses aje... Hhehehe...

Started with birthday party of the daughter of one of my oldest and dearest friend. And they celebrated mine too which was soooo nice and made me sooo terharu.... Ada gambaq. Sat na... Nak pi pinch from her FB jap.

Anyway, that's us. Form giggly girls to giggly mums. Thank you, darlings. It was such a fun meeting even for a short while.

Then we went home, to bathe and pray lepas tu shoot off to Kamil's aunt's house for her granddaughter's birthday. Makan lagi. They barbecued and it was really nice. Kenyang pun makan jugak because Angah is known for her culinary prowess. Her nasi goreng was delicious.

Took family pictures, the whole lot of us but I kenot paste it here.... Takut ada orang tak suka their pictures posted without their permission.

Balik terus tidur macam ulau.

Pepagi Kamil played football with Anu and Shazmi so I had to sent the kids to their class. Since Kamil offered to go to the market for me, aku berlingkar with the latest Dorothy Koomson. I was jolted out of my semi-enjoyment of the book(because it wasn't that nice... boleh ajelah)because Kamil ... well... hehehhe.... pi langgaq the gate.

I was just so happy it wasn't me so I said nothing while I watched his bewildered face and frantic look around trying to pin somebody the blame. Hheheheh....

Luckily he knew his obligations so even though he hasn't the mood, he dragged himself to Shera's parents'house. Birthday of their granddaughter too.

That was my first time actually entering their house after her death so it was rather emotional for me. I sat on the same couch where I saw Ana for the first time, so round, so fair lying on it. I kissed and kissed and kissed her and congratulated my sister-in-law for her cleverness producing such a fine specimen. I remember she went, "Ye ke ?" and laughed her unique laugh.

They had tables outside for their guests so I sat and ate where my mom bathed the body of her beloved daughter-in-law. Where I pour cold water on her body, something that I don't know why we must do. And the little nieces and nephews she has never seen !

And to see her siblings, they share the same eyes, some share her mannerisms was hard for me. Even after 3 years I still mourn her. It is really not easy. She was a big part of our lives and ... ah well... There is nothing I can do about it now, can I ?

We stayed for 3 hours talking to her family who still welcome us, still thinks that we are family.


Anyway, after that we came home and Kamil and I golek-golek in bed, just talking when I heard Abang coughing. He was just sitting outside our room, doing God knows what while he coughed again and again. So I called him and when he answered I could hear his tears. He was actually crying softly outside.

Sedih hati mak ni dengar so I called him to me and he came and laid next to me, sobbing softly. Kecik hati dengan Adik rupanya, and waiting anxiously for his friend that was suppose to come.

Aku pujuk dia sedikit sebanyak then we went down together.

We watched the telly together before I realised that I haven't seen Adik around. Called her and there she was sobbing sensorang jugak rupanya on the couch.

Laa... awatnya ni ?

Kecik hati dengan Abang because she heard him blaming her for his sorrows when she is the one upset because Abang wouldn't let her blow her noisy balloon (you guys know right those party balloons that made a trumpet-like noise when you deflate them ?)and now the balloon has burst.


Sedih hati mak ni tengok anak-anak yang bawak hati jauh-jauh sorang-sorang.

Well it is my fault, really.

Because I have a lot of siblings, I couldn't hear my children fighting. I will after a while but usually I can just block it off my head. I think because I am used to the noise of people bickering so I am immune to it. Kamil is forever telling me off for letting the kids fight.

But... because I have a lot of siblings, I cannot take the sound of people crying. I suppose because I hear it a lot when I was growing up and I am sooo tired of it. It irritates the hell out of me. My children know that Mummy hates crying so they have been trained to either swallow their cries or take it elsewhere.

So really, I am forever stumbling upon my children heaving and sobbing in a corner somewhere and I find I am a better mother for it because when I see them like that, I would take the time to listen and pujuk.

But.... itu kalau aku jumpa. What about those heart-wrenching episodes that I didn't see and my babies just cry their eyes out alone ?


Do I need to change my rule now ?

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Dah lama tak tulih pasai my boring weekend

Last weekend was quite full for us.

Friday abang and adik had a sleep-over at their cousin’s so their parents thought that they will have a nice time tengok wayang ke hapa ke but it turned out these stupid mak bapak ended up fighting and didn’t even have dinner together.

Bapaknya sulking tunggu mak ajak dinner. Mak super duper bengang went out to tapau food then makan sengsorang dalam bilik while watching old NCIS dvds. Pueh hati. Plus, I didn’t know he was waiting for me to ajak makan kan ? Plus, why must he wait for me ? Can’t he make the effort to say sorry and ajak dinner ? Let us not go there…. Jadi lain kang entry nih….

Anyway, mak pagi2 pegi bawak maid buat FOMEMA. While waiting, bapak ada hati call mak. Lepas tu call bukannya untuk say sorry ke hapa, but call to ajak makan dengan mak bapak dia !

Errmm…. HELLO ?

You must be kidding me. Gilo apo ?

Mak hung up the phone. Pueh hati.

Sampai rumah, bapak pun keluar. I thought he went out with his parents (pukul 10 pagi lunch… awal giler, she thought) so mak dok diam-diam nengok tv. Then, tiba-tiba balik rumah orang tu.

Aiik ? Tak jadi ke ? Then terus landing sebelah mak nengok tv sekali. Err…. I thought we are still fighting ? How dare you duduk sebelah I ? WAAAAAAAAA !!! Sakitnya hati.

Dalam 20 minutes of watching the telly in silence and stewing at his audacity of sitting next to me (I tell you people, I was bloody pissed off of this fight … I really don’t know why), suddenly dengaq ada orang honk kat luar.

Bapak quickly got up. Must be his parents picking him up. “Please come with me….” He said suddenly, eyes so very redup with hope.

Hhehehe…. Tergelak kejap. Tapi dalam hati only as no way can I show him just with that 4 words aku terus tak marah dak… Ego orang tua….

“You have 20 minutes sitting next to me and you didn’t say anything ? Last2 minute baru nak cakap ?” I asked in a not too friendly tone and bristled for good measure. “I thought I dah bagi message loud and clear that I nak you pegi….” Jawab bapak pulak.

“Message apa you bagi ?”

“Tadi… I dah laga-laga kaki dengan you….” Hhehehe…. Sian dia.

Okaylah… The wicked witch of the west I am not so I grabbed my tudung and followed him out.

“Where are we going ?” and even though my question is expected, his answer made me bristle again.

Awana Genting Highlands.

Doesn’t he know that for travels that cross the state line I need preparations ? Loo visit first then extra knickers then wipes, loads of it, extra clothings for the little ones and so on and so forth.

I need to prepare !

Aku cuma sempat loo visit aje and because his parents will be in the car, his arse was saved.

I didn’t eat much up there because the headache generated from his very fast driving up the hill. Whatever I partook was good though, the chicken soup, and the red jelly, chocolate pudding and its caramel version. The cake was dry, so urgh… Oh yeah the yong tow foo was good too.

We were up there for 2 hours max before we came down again. Sent the kids home then mak bapak yang dah reconcile ni (heheh) went to The Curve to get tickets for X-Men. No dinner for us adults, but the kids who can’t read their tummy properly had O’Brien’s sandwiches, while mak bapak watched and salivated over every bite they took. Hehheheheh…..

X-Men was nice. I love it ! It was so good, Adik didn’t sleep in the darkened wayang even though we caught the 10pm show. James McAvoy is yum-mee ! Sigh…..

Sunday morning mak and bapak braved the rain for pasar tani. We buy our biccies from there and we were running low. Aku tak tahulah, maybe because we came from the generation that buys our biscuits by the kilos, bapak and I had always felt that biscuits dalam packets are not as nice as the ones that came from dirty and rusted tins. And being ol’ timers, we only like biskut jagung and good ol’ chocolate wafers. Yumm……………..

After beli biskut sampai RM30 (dah beli dalam kilo… mahal le….), cari breakfast (makanan kat pasar tani tak sedap sangat… so memang kena cari carefully) then balik. Bapak went to survey for new rims and I… ? Well kelam kabut mangkit dari tiduq when I heard his car came in…. HEheheh… boleh tertiduq pukui 10 pagi….

Anyway, siap-siap by 12 we headed for KLCC and we reached there by 12.30. Yup… you read it right. Half an hour to get to KLCC. We couldn’t believe it either. Went to send my watch for repair (sebulan okay to just assess what is wrong and give me a quotation… Orang kat Malaysia tak tau repair jam… depa kena hantaq pi Singapore… Buat malu aje) then pusing-pusing sat before heading or the food court for lunch. Punyalah ramai so we abandoned the plan and brave ourselves to try the new restaurant Ben’s Place which replaced our all–time favourite, California Pizza Kitchen.

Sedey tau… I love the ravioli at California’s Pizza Kitchen. Why good things never last ? Why ?

Food was okay. My steak sandwich was all right but the chicken pie bapak had with his daughter was tough and uninspiring. Abang seemed to be okay with his burger, though.

We were actually on a mission so we stopped by Mid Valley but our mission failed so we consoled ourselves at MPH and later Delifrance. I was planning for an Italian dinner and looking at the array of crusty baguettes, I ordered 1. Nak flavor apa, kak ? asked the guy at the counter. Ada flavor ? Rupanya we can either choose kaya or garlic. I chose garlic and menyesal tak sudah because that guy was spread happy that very minute because he slathered, and slathered and slathered some more of the fattening garlic butter on my bread. So much so I had to ask him to stop and go easy. In fact I asked him to scrape of some and transfer it to the other bread. Dasat.

Anyway, balik.. guling-guling sat then I made dinner. And had the butt enhancing garlic bread.

Friday, June 03, 2011


So hari tu I watched the Switch, janda si Brad Pitt with the Teen Wolf guy ? She looked so old, aku rasa macam kesian sangat. Eventhough she is beautiful, she no match for Angelina Jolie, the sexy siren.

So I pitied her while I watched her acting it out, not just because of her sad love story but also because the movie sucks. Well not sucked really but I was none to impressed. Biasa aje. The movie didn't make me feel all nice nad lovey-dovey or euphoric but actually like most movies of late, it is sort of unfinished and looked hurried. I don't think she is very successful on the big screens. Kesian pulak.

Because the other woman is phenomenal in the movies. Always hated if the other woman wins.

Am watching Jake Gyleenhaal and Anne Hathaway's movie now. I see a lot of her bare skin and it is beautiful. Simply gorgeous. Her body is narrow and lithe with creamy skin. Made me feel very nervous... about how I look... he heh.

Anyway, it was Shera's birthday 3 days ago.

I miss her.

I really do.

Especially when I hear Anuar Zain's new song. She would have loved that song.

It is a nice song.

Saturday, May 28, 2011


Those who know the connection between me and one of Malaysia's biggest GLC's announcement yesterday would know why I am feeling quesy.

Quesiness that stemmed from uncertainties for my future.. well my professional future that is.

I love what I am doing now. And surprise, surprise I am actually quite good at it. Something that I found out 3 months ago from my bosses. They were very,very complimentary and those compliments were made even sweeter with my promotion.

I was at the prime of my life. I have good bosses, team members that I truly care about and work that hey... I am good at and enjoy.

Up until Friday (yesterday aje...)before lunch, I was euphoric about next week, and was busy making plans and juggling schedule for the rest of the team.

Then balik office after lunch and my world turned upside down.

Devastating news. Something that I expected to happen really but we were promised that it would wait. Not until next 2 years and when we learn the outcome of the upcoming project.

But the powers that be decided to do it early, when the project had only started 3 months ago.

It shouldn't affect me. But it does. And I am unsure about the future because they hired me for my expertise in this field. And when they decided not to be involve in this field anymore, what am I going to do ?

My bosses aren't worried about me. They say I will fit in seamlessly. One boss said "You took this job like duck to water, I have no worry for you trying other industry... Don't limit yourself to one only.........."

But this industry is my passion. I love it. I did try for 3 years in a different industry but it was bo-ring. I couldn't take it. It was so bland and blah and unchallenging.

I don't want to leave this conglomerate that I have loved. I really don't.


Why can't they let things be for at least 2 years ?

I love my team. I am going to miss them.

I love my clients. I am going to miss them too. Some are not clients anymore. They are somebody that I have learnt to respect and have high regards for.....

Darn it...... Good things never last.

Why ?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hari ini

So hari tu my adik-beradik and I went to watch Insidious. Mak Boyot tu yang ndak so kami ni mengekor aje. Sebelum masuk wayang kita orang pakat-pakat kutuk dia, cerita apa yang kome pilih ni ? Nampak macam tak best. Pelakon pun tak kenai. Awat kita tak tengok Priest/Johnny Depp si Lanun ke hapa ke ?

Dah masuk, semua orang kejung kaki sebab takut. Tak kenal pun whomever on the screen pun tak kisah lah sebab seram !!!!

Kamil and MI gelak2 for some reason. Aku rasa demenya gelak sebab takut. Si Mak Boyot as reported by her husband keep having contractions. Nasib baik she is a doctor so she can handle it by herself lah... HAHAHHAAH...Ada ke.

Today aku coti. Woot ! Woot ! Tapi coti amende. Pagi pergi office dulu. Kamil waited in the car for a good 1 and a half hours before we rushed to SJMC for his appointment. Then office balik. I dunno why my boss always ask me whenever I cuti, "You nanti ada datang office tak ?" Hai lah... dah namanya cuti, buat apa den nak pi office ? Tapi bila dah kata-kata itu dikeluarkan, terpaksa jugak lah.

What to do. Sigh.........

Then balik rumah sebab Kamil cannot tahan tengok aku bawak laptop company keliling, before we went out again for lunch at Sari Ratu.

Dah lama aku tak pegi Sari Ratu, terlupa how violent to the tongue the kuah asam could be. It was hell. The ais teler was comforting though.

Pastu balik bam-bam kejap sebelum mangkit balik for my appointment kat DEMC pulak. Hehhehehehe....... Tension kan ? Dah tua, macam inilah. You'd be needing the doctor quite often.

Last week we went to see Bab. So sad. I just cannot describe it but it was sad. He is already out of the ICU so yeay ! But.....

Anyway... nothing much to tell. Still need to fill in my KPI thingy. It is due tomorrow. Apalah aku nak tulis ni ?

Darn it....

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Merepek galore

Okay... macam-macam yang aku nak tulis after like a month hiatus. Plenty of things to rant and rave about, to praise about .. but I just didn't have the time and now when I can afford some time, the heat is off so ... heheheh.... macam dah malas nak tulis.

Anyway, I went to Bangkok again. Came back and moved office so now 3 divisions of people like me in one big room. I dont like it really because our team is only about 8 and it was cosy in our previous set-up. Now about 50 of us gathered together, masih nak kena bersuai-kenal and the room is too big...

Anyway, we got a new team member last 2 weeks and with her experience and age, she was made a team lead like me and 2 others. I was glad of her presence as she could take some load off of me.

But, on the first day a colleague and I kena belasah dengan dia. Terkedu kejap kami berdua sebab this being her first day should have tried to make friends instead of exerting power.

Then our boss and myself briefed her of our schedule and plans and what we are currently doing and I think that was a big mistake because I think she now thinks that I am a threat as she only asked for my, and only mine, credentials. WTF.

Then we talked about some projects and she dengan selambanya said okay, I can take this over from you now. Errr......

So dah macam dah tak best dah. Before her arrival a new guy came in and he also sort of disrupted our synergy as before we were sheltered from office politics. Safe to say none of us were interested. We were busy working and being a team. We gave each other credits, we openly tell our bosses if a discovery were made by another team memeber and not us... We were that confident in our skin and we do love and respect each other that much.... but now... Sigh.............

I hate it when things change... or the winds of change is being felt already.....

Everything is okay at the home front. Well except for Bab being sick and Bibik is going home soon.

Talking about that, semalam she came up to me eyes red, begging for me to send money to Indonesia because electricity at her house was about to be cut. Okay, okay I said... chill.... I will do it. Please, she said again as kalau nak disambung balik bayarannya 3 juta... Sian omak bibik sakit-sakit duduk dalam gelap.

Iyolah bibik, said I. I will do it.

Nak dijadikan cerita, Western Union off line. Sedih aku sebab bergelap malam ni omaknya bibik. Dan malam esoknya (today le tu) because cuti Wesak and Western Union totup pulak.

Nak ku leter kan, itulah bibik masa bibik bekerja pun bil elektrik buleh terlepas. Ni nanti bibik tak kerja lagi la.... Tapi because I am not a nag, I keep all in. Nampaknya kena jugak aku hulur kat bibik bulan-bulan lepas ni. Tak sanggup den memikir....


Monday, May 16, 2011

My Bab

So I went to see Bab.

He was diagnosed with colon cancer and had his operation to remove the affected areas last week.

I didn’t get to see him because the visiting hours didn’t gel with my working ones. How very frustrating.

Then he went for another operation because he had some kind of infection.

When I went to see him, he was heavily sedated. I just looked at him as my cousin told me not to wake him up. I bawled my eyes out because he looked so fragile, so vulnerable so broken. My mind kept taking me when he was younger, the jet setter who was not based at home. The guy whom we had to sit down and chat with every time he is in the country for the holidays. Like going in for a job interview, he would ask the name of our schools, our grades, hobbies etc. I sometimes think that was just his ice-breaking session with us because we were always shuffling our feet, being very uncomfortable at first, talking to this guy whom we see once a year but after every session, we would be the best of friends already. Suddenly he would be our favourite uncle. Again.

His wife, my Mami Ela is the warmest person ever so we never had to break any ice with her. Hugs and kisses were aplenty and we always fell in love with her at first sight.

While I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, he suddenly opened his eyes. Kamil remarked, “Tidur macam Abang… bukak mata….” Padahal that guy was already awake.

Anyway, his hand started shaking and he kept looking at me.
I quickly called my cousin again as I was at lost at what to do. He did specifically tell me not to wake him up so now that he is awake, I need to know what are the rules and regulations.

My cousin asked if he was calm and he was. Then I asked if I can talk to him but my cousin didn’t think it was a very good idea since he did ask for me before his second operation and if I talked to him he might want to speak and get excited.
Hearing that I bawled again because … well because he asked for me. I should have been there with him, before he went under again but I didn’t know. I really didn’t.
But… seriously, I wouldn’t know if I could be with him if I had known anyway as I don’t think my bosses would like that very much. Sedih kan…

What am I to do ?

Please pray for my, Bab. Please….I thank you in advance.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Mummy's hair

As a woman whose name is not Anne Hathaway or Audrey Hepburn or even Erra Fazira, I have plenty, plenty of physical flaws. Putting the rest aside, today's tajuk perbincangan is the kerak on my kepala which has been plaguing me ever since as I was a baby.

When I was smaller, whenever my Wan from Perak came over, the first thing she would do was put a pan of coconut milk on the stove and heat it up very slowly until it produces oil, then she would grab me and dekat pintu dapur tu lah grandma would scrape the kerak from her grand daughter's hair with the said oil. And it is "OWWWwwww !!!" okay ? I hated it.

Sadly, Wan's remedy didn't work because the kerak causes me to be inundated with dandruff or kelemumur or ketumbir kata orang dari Seberang pulak. Or maybe I should have menyerah diri aje kat Wan... Agaknya if I weren't so elusive from her grabs, I wouldn't have this problem still. Sigh... the choices one made when one was young.

Anyway, nak dijadikan cerita, since I chanced upon a long gray hair on my head, I have been commissioning my children to do the clearing work. While they were there, they discovered my clusters of keraks and therefore I gave them a Change Order to include scrapping of the keraks in their routine too.

Best kan ?

So almost every night the 2 of them would diligently work on my scalp, armed with a fine tooth comb and baby oil. Sometimes, berdarah-darah jugak kepala aku sampai Kamil kena cekak pinggang and suruh dia orang berhenti. For some reason I do not have the heart to tell them off whenever they yank too hard or the comb dug a tad too deep which drew blood and surprised yelps from me sebab they are very serious about this work. I dunno why.

Anyway, the most fun parts are their reactions which can be sooo funny. Usually that comes from Adik lah, my designated clown.

"You didn't use Head & Shoulder today ke Mummy ?" She asked a few times whenever the white particles are aplenty.


"Mummy .... you are snowing, Mummy......" whenever she discovered the big mines.

Or just now she exclaimed, "You have brown hair ! I can see brown hair !" And immediately jumped of the chair and ran off to get Kamil, while murmuring, "I have to ask Babah...." face all serious.

I then heard, "Babah, do you like brown hair ?... Because I saw a lot of brown hair on Mummy's hair....." Then she ran back to me, face more relaxed with her thumbs up. "You are lucky Mummy... Babah likes brown hair. I asked him already...."


And then Abang of course tak puas hati, so he said while still behind his book, "You are such a ninny, Adik. Mummy had always have brown hair ! Since she was younger ! Tak tengok ke rambut CT, CY and CA. They all have brown hair ! So Mummy the same aaahh because they all adik beradik !"

Adik only answered with an, "Oh ?"

She is being super cute by wanting to check if Babah is okay with a wife with brown hair. He heh.

What lah you, Adik...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Bibik nak balik

So, referring to the above title... Bibik ku nak balik.

Actually, she had been asking to go home for quite sometime because her momma is ill. But she couldn't because there were extenuating circumstances that stopped me from sending her home. And the extenuating circumstances are not me yeah, it is her previous employer. Enough said.

Anyway... the way she said it, well ... sounded a bit final. She kept saying that she has to take care of her mom and the tone too sort of hinted that she doesn't intend to come back.

So one day while we were cleaning cabinets, I asked her what are her plans when she returns. She is basically the main bread winner, all her salary has been sent home, her children although some have grown, are in no position to support her or their grandma or their school going siblings.

She sighed and looked worried. She admitted she doesn't know what she will do. I then suggested for her to go home for a month or 2 or 3 even, get her life sorted out then come back. How is she going to eat or even buy medication for her mom if she is out of work ?

She was shocked. She asked if I am willing to wait for her that long and inquired what the arrangements for the children would be like. I told her not to worry about us but herself. I informed her that if she is serious about returning, I will take her in.

She looked relieved and instantly became her cheerful self again. She had been under dark clouds for a few months after she found out about her mom's illness so I was ecstatic to see her so happy.

Then, last month her mood was sombre again. Apalah yang jadi pulak ni. Phonecalls from Indonesia came frequently and once I heard her shouting. My kids confided in me that her youngest son has been bailing out of school and has taken upon himself to quit. Senang aje budak tu. Kalau aku dapat aku cubit.

Then, her eldest son chased the daughter that has been living in her house and taking care of the grandma, out. So now the sick mom is not being taken care of.


Last week she opened her heart out to me and we talked for hours. I really pity her and sangat menyampah dengan anak-anak yang tak reti nak menyenangkan mak sendiri.

Bibik is no super Bibik. Her housekeeping is so-so. Many weekends I would be scrubbing the toilet and the kitchen and a hoard of other stuffs. You know the nitty-gritty of house-cleaning, the corners that needed attention, the cobwebs, the shelves that needed wiping and dusting and the likes.

*Terkedu jap nengok video clip Terpesone Scott Hew (I think his name was ) and Syafinaz.... Aku tak tau nak kata apa...

She successfully bore holes in many, many of Kamil's work shirts. All at the cuffs. She also managed to put a tear on a lot of Kamil's t-shirts. All on the left side. Heran jugak, all Kamil's stuffs and all isolated to a certain areas... Hmmm... Sungguh musykil.


She loves the kids. I saw them in a cuddle numerous times and the first thing they did when they come home from school is calling her and beaming happily at her. She would throw herself in front of them bila aku naik hantu. Everything is, "Salah Bibik ni.... Bukannya salah Abang/Adik." That never works thus she would end up standing worriedly next to me.

She voluntarily makes sure my children perform their 5 times a day.

She is a great cook. I love her masak lemak and ayam hitam. Macam makan kat Sari Ratu.

She is also my adviser. Yang akan bagi nasihat kat aku when she sees I am making a mistake. I value her advise and care. It is like having a second mother.

That is why when I asked her last Monday, "Bibik janji balik sini ya ?", her silence worries me.

"Bagi Bibik tanya budak-budak di kampung dulu ya...." Was her answer after dia termenung.

Oh dear.