Because we went to sooo many birthday parties rasa macam dok pi open houses aje... Hhehehe...
Started with birthday party of the daughter of one of my oldest and dearest friend. And they celebrated mine too which was soooo nice and made me sooo terharu.... Ada gambaq. Sat na... Nak pi pinch from her FB jap.
Anyway, that's us. Form giggly girls to giggly mums. Thank you, darlings. It was such a fun meeting even for a short while.
Then we went home, to bathe and pray lepas tu shoot off to Kamil's aunt's house for her granddaughter's birthday. Makan lagi. They barbecued and it was really nice. Kenyang pun makan jugak because Angah is known for her culinary prowess. Her nasi goreng was delicious.
Took family pictures, the whole lot of us but I kenot paste it here.... Takut ada orang tak suka their pictures posted without their permission.
Balik terus tidur macam ulau.
Pepagi Kamil played football with Anu and Shazmi so I had to sent the kids to their class. Since Kamil offered to go to the market for me, aku berlingkar with the latest Dorothy Koomson. I was jolted out of my semi-enjoyment of the book(because it wasn't that nice... boleh ajelah)because Kamil ... well... hehehhe.... pi langgaq the gate.
I was just so happy it wasn't me so I said nothing while I watched his bewildered face and frantic look around trying to pin somebody the blame. Hheheheh....
Luckily he knew his obligations so even though he hasn't the mood, he dragged himself to Shera's parents'house. Birthday of their granddaughter too.
That was my first time actually entering their house after her death so it was rather emotional for me. I sat on the same couch where I saw Ana for the first time, so round, so fair lying on it. I kissed and kissed and kissed her and congratulated my sister-in-law for her cleverness producing such a fine specimen. I remember she went, "Ye ke ?" and laughed her unique laugh.
They had tables outside for their guests so I sat and ate where my mom bathed the body of her beloved daughter-in-law. Where I pour cold water on her body, something that I don't know why we must do. And the little nieces and nephews she has never seen !
And to see her siblings, they share the same eyes, some share her mannerisms was hard for me. Even after 3 years I still mourn her. It is really not easy. She was a big part of our lives and ... ah well... There is nothing I can do about it now, can I ?
We stayed for 3 hours talking to her family who still welcome us, still thinks that we are family.
Well...
Anyway, after that we came home and Kamil and I golek-golek in bed, just talking when I heard Abang coughing. He was just sitting outside our room, doing God knows what while he coughed again and again. So I called him and when he answered I could hear his tears. He was actually crying softly outside.
Sedih hati mak ni dengar so I called him to me and he came and laid next to me, sobbing softly. Kecik hati dengan Adik rupanya, and waiting anxiously for his friend that was suppose to come.
Aku pujuk dia sedikit sebanyak then we went down together.
We watched the telly together before I realised that I haven't seen Adik around. Called her and there she was sobbing sensorang jugak rupanya on the couch.
Laa... awatnya ni ?
Kecik hati dengan Abang because she heard him blaming her for his sorrows when she is the one upset because Abang wouldn't let her blow her noisy balloon (you guys know right those party balloons that made a trumpet-like noise when you deflate them ?)and now the balloon has burst.
Pulak...
Sedih hati mak ni tengok anak-anak yang bawak hati jauh-jauh sorang-sorang.
Well it is my fault, really.
Because I have a lot of siblings, I couldn't hear my children fighting. I will after a while but usually I can just block it off my head. I think because I am used to the noise of people bickering so I am immune to it. Kamil is forever telling me off for letting the kids fight.
But... because I have a lot of siblings, I cannot take the sound of people crying. I suppose because I hear it a lot when I was growing up and I am sooo tired of it. It irritates the hell out of me. My children know that Mummy hates crying so they have been trained to either swallow their cries or take it elsewhere.
So really, I am forever stumbling upon my children heaving and sobbing in a corner somewhere and I find I am a better mother for it because when I see them like that, I would take the time to listen and pujuk.
But.... itu kalau aku jumpa. What about those heart-wrenching episodes that I didn't see and my babies just cry their eyes out alone ?
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I need to change my rule now ?
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