Thursday, March 22, 2012


So nak dijadikan cerita, mata aku celik aje pagi tadi I was informed that Syabas buat perangai lagi. I closed my eyes with a weary sigh partly because of the thought of all the organising I need to do to ensure all 4 of us left the house to our respective destinations smelling of roses. The biggest part of my sigh was for Cik Abang Kamil nya.

Sesungguhnya aku adalah isteri yang sangat mengenali suami sebab belum sempat pun the sigh finished escaping from my self Kamil did the expected, he started ranting and raving. Dan sesungguhnya bermula lah episode kami anak beranak termasuk bibiknya sekali scrambling around the house, trying to match Kamil's barks and pace. Ini lah gamaknya barking mad, seperti cakap orang putih.

If explanation for his action is warranted, it is due to his utter abhorrence to be late. Pantang mak nenek dia. He always wants to be the person yang bukak office. Aku dah banyak kali dah pesan that he should just have changed his job to security guard shift malam sebab memang depa yang ada banyak peluang bukak office pagi-pagi. Orang lain susah sikit.

Anyway to speed things up, I ordered him to bathe at his mom's house with Adik while Abang and I do the deeds at CY's house. My husband left in a flurry of smoke and screeching tyres sehinggakan tertinggal his precious toilettries bag. Bibik handed the bag to me with muka yang sangat cuka and I accepted the bag with muka yang double cuka sebab sah-sah lah aku yang kena bagi menatang tu kat dia.

Tak sempat a fresh new sigh escaped my lips, he rang. And with a voice 2 octaves higher diselang-seli dengan sighs of frustration suruh aku bawak aje bag tu to CY's house.

Why he made me feel like it is my fault the house has no water ?

And for the umpteenth time in the past 30 minutes I asked myself, "kenapa aaa aku kawin dengan orang ni ?" Waaaaaaa !

Anyway belum sempat aku mandi and while Abang walked to school with MI, he came over to the house to siap. Then he left to send Adik to school aku pun melepaklah kejap dengan adik-adik. Sekali dia call. Lepas menyoal aku kaw-kaw kenapa aku tak pegi keje lagi, he announced that he is coming over to use the toilet. Cess.

Pastu boleh lah melepak sampai pukul 9 to play with our nephew. Sabar ajelah. Rasa macam rugi aje moving at warp speed while a drill sargeant shouted at your ears pagi tadi.

Anyway he called me around 11 am to make peace. He didn't say as much for sure but I know him. As usual, because aku nak nasihat secara sindiran tentang perangai dia pagi tadi, I have to inject humour while doing that just in case if his mood is still not there. Sigh... penat tau nak kena buat strategic planning sampai macam tu sekali.

So... after the treet treet of my phone, I answered with;

Me : Laaa... panjang umur you, Kamil. I baru aje mengumpat you dengan ZAK.

Him : Ye ke ? You ngumpat apa ?

Me : Alah... benda biasalah. You tak hensem, dah lah botak... Pastu suka marah-marah orang....

Him : Mana ada. I baik apa...... Mana ada I marah orang

YA RABBI !!! Memang sajalah aku tak terguling pengsan masa tu....

Me : Banyak lah you... I tak tau lah macamana staffs you belum bomohkan you lagi...

Him : Why would they want to do that ? I am nice person...

Me : Podah ! Pagi tadi marah I, marah Abang, marah Adik... Dengan Bibik sekali you marah... Macam lah kita orang kerja dengan Syabas... Bibik tu lagi lah... Dia kerja ngan you... You yang bayar gaji.... Apasal lak kita orang kena marah bila takde air...

Him : Pagi tadi ? Mana ada ? You cakap apa ni ? Mana ada I marah ?

Me : Pagi tadi.. yang you mengamuk sakan ngan kita orang..

Him : What are you talking about ni ? I mana ada marah...

Me : You are really going that way are you ?

Him : Yes.

Oh sungguh selamba badak.

So... Selepas membaca petikan di atas, don't anybody dare ask me why I have so many zits on my face. Okay ?

Trying to keep up

I have been so swamped with work, you all. I just do not have the time to write anything .. well except the reports that keep on piling up ! I just so wanna share more about my umrah trip but then 2 things happened;

1. Work. Well this is nothing new but I just can’t seem to catch-up. New ones keep adding up even while I am trying to finish the ones that are pending. My boss TSY asked if I am drowning but I said no because if I am drowning then he has drowned. I so do not want to worry him or add to his load. TSY ni baik orangnya and I know if I admit that I can’t cope, he will try to take some of my load. Sian dia…. So now… I suffer.

2. Sick FIL. On the day of our return from Mekah, he told us of the initial finding and after 3 days, our worst fear is confirmed. So it was a flurry of talking and consulting and doctor’s visit on Kamils’ part and shoulder to cry on and trying to be helpful but failed miserably on my part….and finally the operation last Friday.

Kamil has been sleeping in the hospital since last Thursday and only came home to our bed last night. I missed him so.

Anyway, we were at the hospital for what seemed like forever waiting and waiting and waiting. He is okay now but he is in pain which I really tak sampai hati tengok. Being menantu, I have been looking from afar while he was in the ICU and then CCU.. Yelah sebab takut dia tak nak kita kan… But last night when he was finally in normal hospital room, I kissed his forehead before I left and just squeezed his arm before asking the stupidest question in this whole wide world but people seemed to favour it while visiting the sick, the very predictable, “Abah okay ?”

Of course he is not. Duh. His answer was “Okay lah, tapi Abah sakit…..” and he started to move about, trying to find a comfortable position. I added to my list of stupid and obvious remark which was, “At least, the worse is over…”. Why lah people like to state the obvious ? Why ? Why can’t they, including myself, just shut-up ?
I must learn to state the hidden. I must. Or just keep shtoom.

So I left. Kalau Bapak aku tu maunya aku peluk and cium and belai tapi…. We do not have that kind of relationship, Abah and I. Shame, huh ? I would want to .. I am a very touchy, feely person however since he does not have that kind of relationship with his children, melebih lah pulak aku. Haha.

Abah’s condition definitely affected our life, not just how we spent our time but also the topic of conversation, what we have for breakfast, lunch and dinner etc. Anyway, we were looking for blood donor ever since we knew Abah was going in and due to the rarity of his blood type, the search was long and laborious.

One day Abang suggested that since Atuk has 8 grandkids, surely one of them has the same blood type. So he suggested for all his cousins to do a blood test pronto. We were in the car that time and I just smiled when he talked. Sweet, huh.

Tapi yang tak sweetnya adik. After about 10 minutes she suddenly said in a very, very low voice, “Mummy… I know I am fat but I just look fat. If you squeeze my arm (here she demonstrated it), it is very keras and I don’t think you will get any blood. I think kalau Atuk nak, Jay (her cousin) boleh bagilah because her arm is very, very soft….and very, very big..”


Aiyoo lah….

Thursday, March 08, 2012


I have been so busy ever since I returned. But now, I have cleared most of my tasks and have a bit time to write.

And I have sooo many, many things to share about my journey. Every single thing that happened I want to blog about. Tapi… macam dah lama tersimpan and some have started to slip away. Shame.

Anyway, it is quite hard to write about my Umrah trip actually…because there were sooo many things that happened. I have been thinking for quite a bit before I drift off to sleep every night the best way to capture everything here, but couldn't quite get an idea how.

So now, I have decided that I am just going to write about everything that came to mind. It will be jumbled up, mind you so look away if you have pening-pening lalat tendencies, eh ?

The thing that came to my mind about now is Adik. She had been wonderful. Aku bersyukur sangat aku hantar dia masuk sekolah Integrasi Agama because she was at ease with us being in the mosques day in and day out. No complaints, no tantrums. She prayed, apa saja sembahyang sunat yang ada she will do and whatever she didn’t know it was so easy to teach her, she mengaji Quran and when she was done with that she took the initiative to do hafazan, she dzikired with her brand new spanking tasbih, she slept when she was tired, she socialized with the other kids … basically, she was no bother at all.

There was only one day saja dia menangis and that was when she slept in between Maghrib and Isyak. Sememangnya she had always woken up on the wrong side of the bed… just like bapak eh. Therefore I swiftly posted her to the bapak eh to handle.

The best thing was, she was so much loved. The Arabs are crazy over kids because she always came back to the hotel with food. Sweets, kurmas, pretzels, drinks, chocolates… anything that anybody has, will always be extended to her.

Not to mention on the amount of cuddlings and kisses she got ! There were always people who stopped her for a hug or touched her face with awe and love, saying “Masya-Allah !” over and over again and murmurings in exotic languages.

Even the stern female guards at the doors of Masjid Nabawi were kind to her. They stopped their yellings of “Ibu ! Ibu ! Ibu ! Periksa ! Periksa ! Periksa ! Hajjah ! Hajjah !” and whatnots to hug her, or smile kindly and say, “Masya-Allah!” in the softest of tones, or just chucking her chin ! At first we were confused and she herself was scared because not a second ago they were yelling but after awhile we got used to it.

Such a wonder.

The guards at Masjidil Haram were much, much kinder so when they stopped her for a hug we were not that bothered. They even smiled at me while they checked my bag… Hahah…

Apart from that, the other jemaahs would always ask if she was mine. One man asked me, “Malaysia ?” and when I said yes, he pointed to my daughter and asked with crinkled forehead, “Pakistan ?”. I answered with, “Mine !”

Once while we waited for Isyak, a Turkish lady asked me, “Children ? Children ?” while gesturing at me and my daughter. I said, “Yes, of course !” and she frowned.

And when it happened again, another lady who said, “You China ? She Pakistan ?” and all her friends looked at us with curiosity, I answered with, “Papa Pakistan…” and they went, “Oohh………….”

Selamat. Satgi depa kata aku kidnap anak Pakistan mana, mampuih aku.

Tapi budak ni lah pulak menjerit, "Ha ? Abah Pakistan ?" Hissh !!!

There was one time in Masjidil Haram, she was reading surah Yassin softly. A lady behind her scooted nearer to hear her read. The lady then said something we couldn’t understand but my mom suggested that maybe she wanted Adik to read the verses louder, so she did. The lady then alerted her friends and they all kurumun-ed her, listening to her read in wonder. They shook their heads and listened until she was done. Of course there were rounds of kisses for her !

When a jemaah gave her 10 Riyal, she donated it to the street children.

And she was always, always very concerned about the illegal peddlers that littered the streets of Madinah and Makkah. On our first day in Madinah, our very first trip to Masjid Nabawi, while feeling the euphoria and excitement to enter the mosque, our eyes busy drinking in the scenery, out of the blue there were sirens and mayhem ensued. We suddenly found ourselves trapped in the middle of escaping peddlers and the policemen who chased them. It was chaotic and funny.

However, the very next day when they were back, Adik frowned at them and worriedly pointing them to me. “They are still here …” she whispered.

When the same thing happened to the peddlers in Makkah, one of them swung her bundle to her shoulder in flight, and it hit her. Lagilah bertambah tension anak aku.

Heheh... Dugaan, dik.

Something happened to us though, right after Friday prayers. For some reason, they closed one of the manay, many doors of the masjid and cordoned off a section of the compound outside Masjidil Haram. It created a terrible bottleneck and we were all pushed together like sardines. People were pushing and jostling as they fought their way out. I felt so suffocated and was finding it hard to breathe.

I looked at my daughter and she did not look good. She looked like she could collapse any time. I removed her telekung and was fending her from the pushings as much as I could. My mom and I were praying hard for safety and way out of the very, very tight and constricting space.

Suddenly, and oh very suddenly… there was a clearing around Adik. For some reason, nobody was around the perimeter and she could breathe better. Only by the Grace of Allah could that happen. My mother and I was shocked beyond believe. We pushed forward and we finally could make it to a lamp post.

Kamil then called. He was already at the hotel and was oblivious to our plight. He had wanted to come and help but I stopped him because I was worried about Abang. I told him to stay where he is. I told my mom, only Allah could help us now as the pushings have started again.

I tried to carry her, like I used to do when she was smaller but I can't. When did she get too big for me ? I got so desperate that I begged another man to help carry her but he shook his head. He either refused or couldn’t understand me. Terrible. I was in despair.

The lamp post where we sought refuge was encased at the bottom with cement, wider than the pole itself and could be sat on. In fact some men were already sitting on it. We bumped into another jemaah from Malaysia who we were friendly with there and the 3 of us decided to lift Adik up and let her sit on the casing.

We couldn’t. None of us could carry her. I had started to cry when suddenly in front of me, a huge Arab or Turkish lady appeared out of nowhere. Seriously, she just appeared because I was looking right in front of me and she wasn’t there. I blinked and there she was…

Anyway, she straight away plucked my daughter up with one hand and put her on the encasement. Effortlessly, I must add. There were no words exchanged between us but she knew what was wrong and acted. In fact she went right to it. Relief couldn't even describe what I was feeling.

This lady hugged and kissed my daughter, offered her cheese and bread, and while my daughter ate, she caressed her face. We left her to it while we waited for the crowd to ease.

And then... there was Kamil. He materialized in front of me after running to where we were from the hotel and made it there in a minute. He hauled his daughter up in his arms, and made a path for us to pass through.


Thank you, Allah for the help and for the angels you sent.