Trying to keep up

I have been so swamped with work, you all. I just do not have the time to write anything .. well except the reports that keep on piling up ! I just so wanna share more about my umrah trip but then 2 things happened;

1. Work. Well this is nothing new but I just can’t seem to catch-up. New ones keep adding up even while I am trying to finish the ones that are pending. My boss TSY asked if I am drowning but I said no because if I am drowning then he has drowned. I so do not want to worry him or add to his load. TSY ni baik orangnya and I know if I admit that I can’t cope, he will try to take some of my load. Sian dia…. So now… I suffer.

2. Sick FIL. On the day of our return from Mekah, he told us of the initial finding and after 3 days, our worst fear is confirmed. So it was a flurry of talking and consulting and doctor’s visit on Kamils’ part and shoulder to cry on and trying to be helpful but failed miserably on my part….and finally the operation last Friday.

Kamil has been sleeping in the hospital since last Thursday and only came home to our bed last night. I missed him so.

Anyway, we were at the hospital for what seemed like forever waiting and waiting and waiting. He is okay now but he is in pain which I really tak sampai hati tengok. Being menantu, I have been looking from afar while he was in the ICU and then CCU.. Yelah sebab takut dia tak nak kita kan… But last night when he was finally in normal hospital room, I kissed his forehead before I left and just squeezed his arm before asking the stupidest question in this whole wide world but people seemed to favour it while visiting the sick, the very predictable, “Abah okay ?”

Of course he is not. Duh. His answer was “Okay lah, tapi Abah sakit…..” and he started to move about, trying to find a comfortable position. I added to my list of stupid and obvious remark which was, “At least, the worse is over…”. Why lah people like to state the obvious ? Why ? Why can’t they, including myself, just shut-up ?
I must learn to state the hidden. I must. Or just keep shtoom.

So I left. Kalau Bapak aku tu maunya aku peluk and cium and belai tapi…. We do not have that kind of relationship, Abah and I. Shame, huh ? I would want to .. I am a very touchy, feely person however since he does not have that kind of relationship with his children, melebih lah pulak aku. Haha.

Abah’s condition definitely affected our life, not just how we spent our time but also the topic of conversation, what we have for breakfast, lunch and dinner etc. Anyway, we were looking for blood donor ever since we knew Abah was going in and due to the rarity of his blood type, the search was long and laborious.

One day Abang suggested that since Atuk has 8 grandkids, surely one of them has the same blood type. So he suggested for all his cousins to do a blood test pronto. We were in the car that time and I just smiled when he talked. Sweet, huh.

Tapi yang tak sweetnya adik. After about 10 minutes she suddenly said in a very, very low voice, “Mummy… I know I am fat but I just look fat. If you squeeze my arm (here she demonstrated it), it is very keras and I don’t think you will get any blood. I think kalau Atuk nak, Jay (her cousin) boleh bagilah because her arm is very, very soft….and very, very big..”

Hehhehehe… HEHHEHEHEHEHE… HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH !

Aiyoo lah….