Merepek lagi..

To say that I am tensed in really an understatement. But how else can you say it, yeah ? I have so many, many things running in my head oftentimes aku tak leh nak filter those yang real and yang merepek. Heheh..

Today, my ex-boss ajak berbuka with him. Actually it should be quite a big do with the rest of our ex-team tapi aku kan… I just didn’t get around inviting everybody. Tengok-tengok dah Monday, the day of our supposed buka and he sms-ed to ask kat mana kita buka.

Err…. heheh…

Thus I have to buka with him today.

Aku bukan tak nak. I have a very good relationship with him still. But, aku nak terawikh, that is all. Especially akhir-akhir Ramadhan ni rasa macam tak cukup aje ibadat, macam ibadat aku just like any normal days. Somehow I have always felt that ibadat during Ramadhan must be extra special.

And tolong berebut dengan ibadah for the hours and minutes of Ramadhan is nostalgia. Ramadhan also is the month of keluar malam-malam shopping for Raya, dengar lagu-lagu Raya while looking for baju kurung and what nots. And thus ada sedikit susah nak accommodate all that from 8pm (dah selesai buka) to 10pm (kedai semua dah katup pintu). Aku kan very nostalgic. I need to re-visit things that are familiar to me sebab tu 2 nights before Raya karang baru kami nak kemas rumah Mummy. Kalau malam sebelum Raya tu karang baru Mummy sibuk nak jahit curtains lagi best. The more kelam-kabut it gets, the happier I will be just so that I could re-capture the Raya of my youth.

And that is why I am contemplating to try and pujuk Mummy to masak ketupat atas unggun api like we used to. Don’t think Mum will agree sebab habis rosak rumput dia but.. I wouldn’t know until I try, kan ? I will definitely be baking cakes (butter, chocolate and marbled cheese). Although my choices of cakes has evolved somehow (used to be butter, fruit and apple cakes only).

Anyway, I have always worried about my future Rayas, when I am old and grey and anak-anak dah besar. Anak aku dua. Kalau dua-dua balik kampong mertua, sapa nak Raya dengan aku, ek ? Kalau gilir-gilir pulak, then I will never ever Raya dengan both of my children. Tak ke haru ?

Tambahan pulak that day my big boss asked my colleague on the number of her children which is an impressive 6. When I answered 2 he went, “Why aren’t you more productive ? Later on during Raya, only 2 come home and that is it ?”, shouting out my fears out loud for all and sundry to see.

But I calmly answered that I have 8 siblings and all live in Shah Alam so I still have my siblings and nieces and nephews that will visit me, eventhough I am not confident with that statement, really.

Balik tu, kebetulan CY berbuka at home so aku ceritalah the conversation with my boss, hinting like mad that she and her kids must ensure that my future Rayas would not be empty. Nasib baik dia jawab, “Jom lah kita Raya rumah Mummy lagi… kumpul kat sana ramai-ramai nak ? Adik-beradik pun jadilah….”

Lega. That is why my friends, make sure we live amongst our family and jangan gaduh adik-beradik, okay ? Because not all of us can afford 6 kids.