Maybe......

I believe that most wives are haunted by nagging feelings that their husbands do not love them. This feelings could be constant or sporadic or whatever.... you know kadang-kadang, jarang-jarang or banyak-banyak.

The littlest of thing eminated from the husband, be it word, gesture, sigh, grunt.. which probably means nothing could be taken as (or miscontrued as) a sign of disinterest, hate or worse a girlfriend tucked in somewhere.

I know....! How could a woman decipher that from a mere jelingan from sang suami... ? It boggles the mind, doesn't it...? But we just can..., I promise you we really can.

Anyway... me... the champion of this subject matter - I once had a restless night because in the middle of sleep... Kamil... hahahah....(I know it sounds silly now but it was soooo crystal clear at that moment)... who slept while holding my hand suddenly let it go during the night. I was woken up while he did that and afterwards I couldn't sleep a wink because I kept thinking he let my hand go because he has a new girlfriend.... CK and Hjh Esah knows how traumatic this lack of hand holding waktu tiduq could be for me....And how did I put the 2 and 2 together and came out with 6 could not be explained so don't bother asking.

Anyway....I had been feeling so unloved by Kamil eversince my toe became blue because you know he wasn't being very sympathetic to my pain when it happened. He nagged and got angry and was generally being barking mad while I was hopping around with pain.

I suppose the assumption that his love was gone for me at that point was not so silly because he failed to act like a loving husband should... which is meraung macam orang gila tengok aku sakit. Or at least lift me off my feet (my weight doesn't count during moments like this) and rushed me to the hospital where he demanded the doctor to do something quick as he couldn't bear to see the love of his life (aku le tu) in pain.

So... I had been going around these past few weeks quite convinced that he has a girlfriend (which is I assure you the natural progression of this tuduhan melulu...)until ... yesterday morning that is. Yesterday morning I finally took a brave step to get over my iron-o-phobia by ironing my own shirt at the scene of the crime. As I lifted the iron, I suddenly noticed a pair of hands holding the board still.

I looked up at him and he was intently looking at the board, keeping it steady.

"I think we have to buy a better board..." he said while I gawked at him. He stayed during the length of my ironing and carefully lifted my shirt up (from the board le... not off me... itu lain dah....)for me.

And again this morning.. he was hovering near me while I ironed, making sure the board tak buat perangai lagi.

Awww..... you sayang I yek.... Awat tak habaq awai-awai ?

But... hmmm........

Maybe ......... he was doing that not because he cares.... but because he has a hot date today and he doesn't want to be late by sending me to the hospital again.

Hmmm.... possible, possible....