Friday, November 22, 2013

Sigh....

Bibik has been crying. My daughter first alerted me to her bouts of crying. Although curious and worried, I said nothing to her, giving her space and privacy. Adik informed me that Bibik's husband had "kawin lagi satu, Mummy..."

Last weekend while cooking Bibik told me that her husband has another woman. She didn't eloborate whether they are married. She did recount of the tears she had shed and Adik persuading her to share her woes.

"Bibik bilang Adik ngak paham... Mummy aja yang paham...." But then, my daughter actually said, "Bik saya sudah 10 tahun bik. Saya boleh paham....." Heheh....

I said to her,

"Hai lah Bik, I am so sorry I couldn't help you at all. I do think you are already anticipating this because even while you were with him, living in the same house as he, sharing his bed... he still managed to father a child out of wedlock. What more do you expect when you are far away, beyond his reach ?"

She went quiet, so did I and we just said nothing. She smiled as she stared at her lap. I then caught her sitting outside at the back, singing. I saw her watering the same plant longer than she should while she stared into nothingness. I glimpsed her silhouette pacing her room from the window. 

I just can't help. I don't know how. The pain could not be alleviated by me. By anyone but him and Allah. Ya Robb, please makbulkan doa2 Bibik. Hanya kau yang punyai kuasa untuk membantu. Kasihan kan dia Ya Latiff... Ya Wadud... Ya Rahman.... Ya Rahim."

On another happier note, Kamil has accepted a new job that is Alhamdullilah near our home. 15 minutes drive actually. Which is around 10 minutes away from my office... when the road is clear... which only happen on weekends. Usually, it would take like 20 minutes to get in and 1 hour to get out. Crazy huh ?

What to do about Bibik ? I have no idea. Doa and doa and doa I suppose. And curse him sekali-sekala for hurting other people. Tengok lah... Allah akan balas kezaliman pak Wawan ya. Saya dah tengok banyak berlaku. Kita ceraikan isteri, sakiti hati isteri, Allah akan balas balik. Cepat atau lambat aje.

Syukurlah kalau balasan di terima di dunia... sekurang-kurangnya kifarah dosa kita dan Insyaa Allah kurang azab di neraka atau pun terselamat terus dari neraka jahanam. Tapi, kalau kita tak terima apa-apa balasan di dunia, ketaq lah... sebab Allah tak kesian kat kita and Allah nak balas di akhirat. Lagi haru...

Hmmm...

Sabar lah bibik. Orang dianiya ni, Allah sayang. Ada benda yang lagi best Allah nak bagi.


4 comments:

Norliana Abdul Rahman said...

errr.... oh no....awat aku yang ketaq pulak ni?

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Tang mana yang hang Ketaq tuh ?

Anonymous said...

About anticipating doom, hehe i had my fair share of worrying and this unsettling feeling that something bad is about to happen when I reach 37.

It's like Allah is prepping me for such days or event.

It was either the big C or the big D.

True enough, it was a big D.

Oh well.

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Oh dear... I am so sorry to hear that, Flowerella honey.... *Hugs*