Pasal pasu

I dunno why I have been quite melancholy these past few days.

I keep motoring through memory lane and even though I visited many happy memories, I somehow managed to squeeze the element of sorrow in them.

First I thought about my Nyang. Even though they were good memories, visual excerpts that showed how much I was very loved by that woman, I managed to be so darn sad because I suddenly realized I own nothing that she knitted ! Itupun nak sedih ke ? But I am sad..... Sigh.

Today… well yesterday actually I reminded Kamil that we will be celebrating our 19th year together. And today when I woke up, I still thought about it and of course I went cruising through the darn Memory Lane again and stopped at one Anniversary when Kamil surprised me with a bouquet of roses delivered to the office.

The long stem roses came in a very tall glass vase with baby breaths and ferns and a lovely ribbon around the neck. It was gorgeous.

Anyway the vase took its place on my dining console table, collecting dust of course but still I loved looking at it as it reminded me of the jarang-jarang romantic gestures I get from my beloved hubby.

Until one day that is when my siblings helped us to move out and Shera who was helping me to throw out stuffs held the vase and asked if it was going to the bin too. “Kalau you nak buang bagi je lah dekat I… I memang suka pasu ni…." and she said that with her usual enthusiasm and happy grins... Sigh..

And even though I loved the vase and was not intending to throw it out, I didn’t even hesitate before I gave my yes because I love Shera more than I do the vase and when I love somebody, I just want to see them happy.

And her happy grins and her “Yeay !” when she held it and lovingly took home was worth more than a thousand vases. Not even all the Bohemias and the Royal Albert’s in the world.

And when my horrified husband took me aside and asked, "You bagi pasu yang I bagi you kat Shera ?" I shrugged and answered, "Well.... because she wants it..." and my husband let it be like that because he knows how fond I was of her.

So that is why I am so bloody sad today because I thought of her (and it was very much unplanned) and I like wonder, where is that vase ?

Sigh..