Aku jua tension dengan Anuar Zain

Yesterday... dok boring-boring tang sini I suddenly remembered that this was a good time to catch-up on my blog reading. I haven't been visiting in a long while because of work commitments ... Sometimes I wonder if work is worth it. Not being able to cook for my kiddies as much as before, not being able to sit down and read, not being able to do a lot lah basically...

Melalut tang lain lagi.....

Anyway.. it was this favourite blog of mine that got me into thinking... actually that got me into this mood. This blogger mentioned about her husband that doesn't seem to be aware of her existence and I got so sad because I can so relate to that. Laki yang lebih pentingkan nengok tv dari bini and laki yang lebih suka duduk menyepi dari bercakap dengan aku... And I wonder sometimes, mamat yang dok lena sebelah aku ni... rela ke tidak sebenarnya kawin dengan aku ni ?

And I had always wondered if I ever pushed him towards the kadi and dia sebenarnya tak hingin pun nak together-gether dengan aku.

All the while I was here in Thailand amidst their people who truly, truly LOVE their King.. he only managed one call to me... to rant and rave about our children. Oh yeah another one call to ask why I didn't answer his sms... That was it.

In my head, I was expecting a more lovesick spouse who misses me, as I have been the minute I touched down in Bangkok. One who does not give a damn about the phone bill because all that matters is he has to hear his beloved's voice. And aku being aku has always been very embarrassed about forcing someone to love me... You know... like perigi mencari timba kind of a deal. So if he deosn't want to call... then I won't call because probably he doesn't want to talk to me.

But then again, reading the rest of her entry... she asked if the grass really greener at the other side ? Good point. What if all Malay men are like that ?

Reading her BFF's blog pulak she talked about her aunt who asked, what more do you want ? He comes home every night and a good provider. And if I am not mistaken, the aunt also said, we young people always talk about love loss lah and that kind of malarky.

So mahu tak mahu, I have to agree. It has to be enough. Maybe by coming home is the only way he can show that he knows I existed, then I have to take it.

By God it has to be enough .....

And therefore, I also blame my malancholy ramblings on Anuar Zain. Stop with your Lelaki Ini, please !!!! Konon ! Tipu !!!! Mana ada lelaki camtu...

PS : By now I think you 2 ladies already who u r, so please don't mention about the breadmaker again !!!!