Today's ramblings

Soooo patio ku dah siap... Hehehhe...

Siap bayar pun so ... selama beberapa tahun aku akan dok sengap-sengap sebab pulus is gone...

I have taken pictures but bluetooth on this computer has gone wonky so I can't upload yet at the moment. This morning we huffed and puffed the kitchen dining table there and it is okay. The one that is not okay as I have predicted is the very empty space in the kitchen.

Hmmm....

So now tinggal nak bawak turun the day bed. And of course items to buy. And boy they are quite extensive.

1. 2 single seaters
2. Tiffany lamp (I refuse to have any other type)
3. Side table
4. Fresh new sheets for the day bed

Alamak... So .. ehm, ehm... kalau hangpa mai don't be shocked if my patio is empty... Banyaknya nak belanja !

Anyway, the ceiling fan in our upstairs family room rosak and has not been working for quite some time. When the electricians came to sort out the patio, I asked them to look at the fan and voila ! in no time, dah elok.

But the kids didn't know it and imagine their surprise when Abang accidently switched it on, it rotated. "Mummy ! The fan is working again !" I rounded up the stairs to see my children in agog. Heheh...

"What did you do ?"

"I dunno.. I just turn it on !"

So... here we go.

"This is really a miracle of Ramadhan ! Itu lah korang prayed and prayed and suddenly it repaired on its own !"

Abang still held his surprise and wonder face. Adik's pulak has turned to confusion and a bit sceptical.

"Itulah, what ever we do dalam dunia ni, kita kena mintak dekat Allah.. blah, blah, blah...*sermon* .... blah, blah... *lecture*...."

And while aku dok syok sendiri bersyarah, Adik leaned to Abang and said, "Saya tak pernah pun doa for the kipas to work...."

Abang shrugged and I just had to stop. No point anymore kan ?

Heheh... dah besar dah... Mummy tak boleh nak pull their legs dah.

Merepek lagi..

To say that I am tensed in really an understatement. But how else can you say it, yeah ? I have so many, many things running in my head oftentimes aku tak leh nak filter those yang real and yang merepek. Heheh..

Today, my ex-boss ajak berbuka with him. Actually it should be quite a big do with the rest of our ex-team tapi aku kan… I just didn’t get around inviting everybody. Tengok-tengok dah Monday, the day of our supposed buka and he sms-ed to ask kat mana kita buka.

Err…. heheh…

Thus I have to buka with him today.

Aku bukan tak nak. I have a very good relationship with him still. But, aku nak terawikh, that is all. Especially akhir-akhir Ramadhan ni rasa macam tak cukup aje ibadat, macam ibadat aku just like any normal days. Somehow I have always felt that ibadat during Ramadhan must be extra special.

And tolong berebut dengan ibadah for the hours and minutes of Ramadhan is nostalgia. Ramadhan also is the month of keluar malam-malam shopping for Raya, dengar lagu-lagu Raya while looking for baju kurung and what nots. And thus ada sedikit susah nak accommodate all that from 8pm (dah selesai buka) to 10pm (kedai semua dah katup pintu). Aku kan very nostalgic. I need to re-visit things that are familiar to me sebab tu 2 nights before Raya karang baru kami nak kemas rumah Mummy. Kalau malam sebelum Raya tu karang baru Mummy sibuk nak jahit curtains lagi best. The more kelam-kabut it gets, the happier I will be just so that I could re-capture the Raya of my youth.

And that is why I am contemplating to try and pujuk Mummy to masak ketupat atas unggun api like we used to. Don’t think Mum will agree sebab habis rosak rumput dia but.. I wouldn’t know until I try, kan ? I will definitely be baking cakes (butter, chocolate and marbled cheese). Although my choices of cakes has evolved somehow (used to be butter, fruit and apple cakes only).

Anyway, I have always worried about my future Rayas, when I am old and grey and anak-anak dah besar. Anak aku dua. Kalau dua-dua balik kampong mertua, sapa nak Raya dengan aku, ek ? Kalau gilir-gilir pulak, then I will never ever Raya dengan both of my children. Tak ke haru ?

Tambahan pulak that day my big boss asked my colleague on the number of her children which is an impressive 6. When I answered 2 he went, “Why aren’t you more productive ? Later on during Raya, only 2 come home and that is it ?”, shouting out my fears out loud for all and sundry to see.

But I calmly answered that I have 8 siblings and all live in Shah Alam so I still have my siblings and nieces and nephews that will visit me, eventhough I am not confident with that statement, really.

Balik tu, kebetulan CY berbuka at home so aku ceritalah the conversation with my boss, hinting like mad that she and her kids must ensure that my future Rayas would not be empty. Nasib baik dia jawab, “Jom lah kita Raya rumah Mummy lagi… kumpul kat sana ramai-ramai nak ? Adik-beradik pun jadilah….”

Lega. That is why my friends, make sure we live amongst our family and jangan gaduh adik-beradik, okay ? Because not all of us can afford 6 kids.

Aku demam pulak

Sooo…. Aku demam ni.

I didn’t even know it until I stepped into my house and almost collapsed. It was such a busy day at work, I was overly stressed and stretched almost to the limit. I didn’t even perasan the frogs in my throat and the aching body until I collapsed on the sofa.

Mom tak sempat masak so she bought pizza. Okaylah. Luckily she made tenggiri masak taucu and there are leftovers of fucuk and suhun masak lemak so I tapau-ed that for sahur.

I didn’t even make an attempt for terawikh as I didn’t think I could even last solat Isyak.

I told Adik to follow her Tok for terawikh but she said, “But I want to be with you, Mummy……..” Awww….. I was sooo touched, the dull pain on my body temporarily slipped my mind. Temporary aje lepas tu rasa balik.

So by 9 I was already asleep and when Kamil woke me up for soq, I was shocked with the intensity of the pain in my throat and head. It was rather agonizing. Menggagau jugak turun bawah (much more careful nowadays when I tackle them stairs), sakit-sakit tekak pun belasah jugak nasi because I was soooo hungry then I popped a few Panadols and tried to go back to sleep.

Tried is the operative word. How can I sleep when Abang came in squeezed all of his mass between Adik and me, and Adik was sleeping on my shoulder tu. Lepas tu he could not lie still and kept moving and…well, aku redha ajelah.

Boss took one look at me and commented how knackered I looked. I must be more poorly than I thought I was if my exhaustion can be seen underneath all those paint I have started to apply on my face.

And my cuti could not come fast enough….

Sigh………….

Untuk raya... sekejaaaappppp aje...

Last night I had a berbuka puasa do with an orphanage organised by the company. I didn't want to go but boss forced me to so terpaksa jugaklah pergi.

The main reason I didn't want to go was the orphans sebab ... I know I would be crying buckets as soon as my eyes clapped on them.

Surprise, surprise I didn't though. Maybe on account my boss was sitting next to me. But looking at the whole lot of them, so young, so unbelievingly gorgeous, so innocent aku sebak sangat but had to keep them all inside sebab ... well... malu le kat boss.

Anyway, the food was rather good but luckily I didn't have to pay for them sebab I ate like soooo little. Rugi aje. Actually this year, I didn't go to any buffets at all. I know it will be wasted and the exorbitant sum they charge, aku rasa macam rugi sangat. RM50 is too expensive for me already.

Anyway, kebetulan when my colleagues and I did our Maghrib, the orphans were in the surau too and it was such a touching moment for me. I kept grabbing those that were near me asking, "Boleh tak peluk makcik sekejap ?"

Many were willing and it was such a nice feeling to see them shyly but eagerly returned my hugs.

One little girl, so painstakingly adorable in blue tudung, raised her hand happily when I asked, "Sapa nak peluk makcik ni ?" and she ran and jumped on me and the hug she gave me was so tight. Ayaq mata memang mengalir dan dan tu jugak. Then she got up and 5 minutes later she came to me again, arms wide saying, "Saya nak peluk" and so I put her on my lap and I hugged and pinched her cheeks and well.. loved her.

They looked well fed, with nice clothes and well taken care of. But my worry had always been if they get enough hugs, and kisses (I kiss children with my nose), and sweet words thrown at them plus a tickle or two. Itu aje sebab those are the things that children really need.

I asked her name and it was soooo long, pening kepala aku. I asked if I can take her home for raya and the teacher said probably I can because her mom usually doesn't want to take her home. Her father passed away and her mom is an Indonesian that is unable to care for her. But from the looks of it, is not really bothered with her pun.

So I will try. I am gonna try and bring her home for raya and bawak balik kampung.

Insya-Allah.

How to review reports

Cara-cara nak review report staff anda

Step 1

Cuba baca tengok. Don't judge first. Do not think about the grammar mistakes and whatever dark and insidious lurking between the words.

Step 2

Take a deep breath and try to stem your anger. Re-read again, slowly this time eventhough you know changing the speed level is not going to help much.

Step 3

It is better for you to tackle the grammar and vocabulary first before you do the context because sometimes, things do get clearer when everything is fixed nicely. Oh, you might need to get the offender to sit next to you so that you can ask him to explain what is the meaning of all that ****.

Step 4

Ignore his/her sheepishness. It will definitely come as soon as your 3rd correction.

Step 5

Surpress whatever pity you have for him/her by your 10th "What do you mean by this ?" because if you do, they will inadvertantly feel relaxed and will never ever learn. You will be their English teacher forever and ever and ever if you do this (my daughter certainly thinks I am one because of my red pen and angry mutterings while I read them reports !!)

Step 6

Once you delved into their heads and finally understood what he/she was trying to say, read it again to assess the quality of their field work.

Step 7

Explain to them carefully what is missing and ask them to try and 'beef' up the report. Worst case, you have to send them to do field work again.

Step 8

Review them reports again. You are allowed to sigh and shook your head if mistakes are made again. Challenge the contents. Ask them to provide proof of whatever they are saying. Send them away to repair whatever that needs repairing.

Step 9

At this stage you are allowed to cry if things are still not right.

Step 10

Grit your teeth if the aesthetics of the report is not taken care of. Or horrors upon horror if there are still mistakes and errors and points that are without evidence and merit. Point it out to them and ask them clean it up. Again.

Step 11

If the report is still not satisfactory, ask for a soft copy. Once you get the damn thing, do it yourself. Something that you should have done really by Step 4.

Merepek bulan Ramadhan

Cuti aku hari ni...

Sebab aku juga cuti tang lain, aku dok berangan tak mau bangun soq sebab... well what for right ? Tapi Abang asked oh so politely if I can whip up some pancakes for soq, so... terpaksa jugaklah bangun.

Because cuti, the kids tak tiduq as usual after soq. Depa pi bantai tengok telly in my room.. Adik entah kenapa suka sangat series Thin Blue Line, a British series with Mr Bean in it. Jadi police officer siap. Anyway, mengekek-ngekek lah budak2 ni gelak2 sampai menganggu my very much needed slumber. So I chased them out of the room but since my sleep was already disturbed, I couldn't seem to achieve REM.

Bangun and veg in front of the telly while checking on the contractors buat my patio.

Can I just say that it is looking gorgeous, my patio ? Depa tak letak bumbung lagi, baru ada frame bumbung and it is already so damn pretty ! I was contemplating of letting it be like that, no need bumbung... But.. satgi hujan lagu mana ? I intend to have my food there.

Or... not.

Actually we are not sure what is the purpose of the patio, really.

Initial plan memang sebagai dining like my parents' house. So I was thinking of placing the kitchen dining table there instead of buying another one. Aku rasa macam frivolous and melampau lah sangat pulak kalau rumah aku ada sampai 3 dining table.

Okay, fine... Tapi what are we going to do with the empty space in the kitchen now ?

Kamil suggested putting the one from our dining room but then nanti, what are we going to do with that space pulak ?

And I was thinking we must have an option to eat inside the house sebab musim2 nyamuk dok pakat2 keluaq, kami kena makan kat dalam jugak dak ?

So... nak buat living room ? Kena ada telly. Kalau takdak telly memang wasted lah. Ngan aku-aku tak mau duduk tang tu. Hehehhe......... Problem lak. Tapi beranikah nak letak telly kat luaq ? Satgi hilang, haru lah. Bebailah si Kamil.

Anyway, besok2 I will tangkap some gambaq of my almost ready patio, kay ?

Sedih raya dah mula

Semalam Adik told me that Nuzul Al-Quran is the day when Quran goes up to heaven.

“So malam ni Quran saya akan naik ke atas lah….”

Hehehhehe….

“Buat apa naik atas…?”

“Err…. I dunno… “

She cocked her head to the side, in deep thoughts. I didn’t correct her yet because I want to know what is cooking in there.

Then..”Maybe, Allah nak baca kot… Dia nak pinjam……….”

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHH !

Sigh… you can really make my day lah Adik even though your story sebenarnya terbalik.

Nuzul Quran, little one is the day the first ayat Quran diperturunkan dari Allah and was brought by Malaikat Jibrail to Rasullullah SAW while he was bertapa-ing in Gua Hiraq, where he was commanded to Iqra’ or bacalah.

So really instead of naik, it actually turun you know….

Hehheheh……………..

Anyway, pejam celik, pejam celik dah nak raya dah. And seperti biasa and seperti tahun2 sebelumnya dari aku kecik sampai lah aku besar, aku sayu when raya is around the corner. Pantang dengar lagu raya aku mesti rasa nak sebak.

When I was smaller, aku sebik bila I thought about my Arwah Tok Wan who passed away when I was 7. Everytime balik Penang terasa sangat dia tak ada. EVenthough for years he was just there on the bed, but I love being with him. We sort of have a staring contest where I would just look at him and he me. Then I would scrutinise his face and hands where I take note of every mole and wrinkles. And I would inhale him. Scent is very important to me. I would always inhale his scent and feel satisfied when the familiarity of it took over my senses.

I also get veryyyy sebak everytime I waved goodbye to my Tok in Perak when we singgah sekejap on the way to Penang. Sampai dia meninggal, kami memang tak pernah rasa beraya dengan dia. Tak pernah... We usually singgah aje on the way to Penang or on the way back to KL.

Eventhough I was small and he was always smiling when we leave, but I could always sense his sadness sebab tak dapat beraya dengan my mom and us kids.

So bila aku besar ni I got sad kenang kan yang aku tak pernah cium tangan dia pagi raya. And now he is gone. Walaupun it is not my fault, but.... well I still feel guilty.

Nangis dah ni.....

I think I am malancholy by nature. Sebab itu dari kecik I am always studying and inhaling my elders sebab aku macam nak take stock of their presence or their being so that when they are gone, I have something to remember by and to hold on. And then get sad about...

Emotional suicide, a friend told me.

Now of course, tambah sedih ingat kan Shera. Writing her name suddenly felt so alien. Macam she is just a frigment of my imagination. Semalam E was at my home when I returned from work. She didn't come to greet me though because she was bathing. So after hugging my kids, seperti biasa I threw myself on the sofa in front of the telly and tiba-tiba there she was, running happily when she saw me. She sat next to me, body leaning heavily against mine, talking a mile a minute.

While she talked, I carressed her hair and seperti biasa only half listened to the incessant chatter. Dah malam nak tidur baru aku rasa eh, macam kurang aje anak aku. And baru teringat, oh tadi ada extra tapi aku dah pulangkan kat bapak dia. And after like 5 hours baru aku nak rasa sedih that dia dah takde mak. That I am her surrogate mak and... well.... how life can be sooo unfair.

Isshh... tak baik.

Sigh........

Kisah aku kat sinun........

Sooo……….

Dah jumpa blog balik malas pulak nak tulis.

Semalam I was down south again. Dah lama tak pegi. Dulu masa selalu pegi complain memanjang. Dah jarang pegi rindu pulak. Kang dah tak boleh pegi langsung (sebab dah kena jual….), sure meraung.

Anyway… for sahur my colleague ajak pegi makan at a mamak restaurant in front of the hotel. Aku memang kembang tekak nak pegi that particular restaurant sebab demenya jarang sapu lantai. Kalau at the place where your clients can see pun you are not that particular about its cleanliness, I just do not want to imagine what the hidden places (ie the kitchen) look like.

On the way there I saw another restaurant that was opened too. Sedap aku dengar ketung-ketang kuali especially since the kuali was placed right in front of the clients. Ndak jugak aku jenguk jap but my colleague tak nak. Buat dek aje bila aku suggest, so aku pun mengekor dia aje le.

Dah sampai situ, tekak aku makin kembang. Tak lalu aku nak makan Maggie gorengnya. Singgah 7-11 and I bought 2 Zips, a packet of creamed buns and the all important Vitagen.

Rasa loya sampai ke petang, okay ?

Anyway, funny thing happened to me on the way to the airport. My other colleague V suggested that I use this taxi service that he used before to get me to the airport. The pakcik very good he said. Ok le… The driver hensem macam Gerard Butler he said again. Suka hati.

Ada ke halfway to the airport, pakcik hensem seumpama Gerard Butler…punya tukang kebun ni tanya aku, “Cik mengantuk tak ?”

“Ngantuk jugak Pakcik…. Dah bangun sahur kan….”

“Itu lah saya ni pun mengantuk ni ha…..” Err…. patut le bawak teksi terhoyong-hayang sikit.

“Biasanya saya waktu ni tidur kejap kat rumah… 10 minit pun jadilah……….”
Errr………. Okay…

“Cik kisah tak kalau saya berhenti kejap tepi jalan tidur sekejap ?”

What ?

Excuse me, what ?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aku dah tua agaknya... cepat terharu....

I had a lovely and touching buka puasa at my mom’s yesterday.

Mom made pancakes and spaghetti Bolognese for some reason, to the delight of my husband and my son. My daughter who’s taste matches mine were relieved at the sight of cempedak goreng and keropok leko supplied by MH. Then CT and MD came with cara berlauk and a few other kuihs so Adik and I were quite happy.

Anyway, what was so lovely about buka yesterday ? Because kita orang ramai-ramai berkumpul.

My littlest nephew was there, gurgling his milk and looking sooooo cute. He is uber adorable.

My sisters, CT and CY and their hubbies, MD and MH were there. My still single brothers (it is amazing that all my parents’ daughters are married while their sons are still single !) were also there, filling the very small space with their huge bods. Actually we usually sup in the patio but because berbuka is Maghrib time, which is when all the nyamuks (aedes and non-aedes) keluar bersuka-ria so we had to cramp inside. The table only sits 6 so some of us had to sit on the sofa there that only sits 2 (okay…4 if we huddle close) and some on the piano bench.

It was really funny because you could never see the same people on the dining chairs as we run up for prayers in batches and those who got up to replenish their drinks would find their seats now occupied. We had stopped bothering to re-claim our seats as we know the I-don’t-see-your-name-written-here fight would definitely ensued.

I got a bit teary eyed that my husband and brothers-in-law were comfortable enough to enter Mum’s room for their prayers. And when buka time all of us dok sibuk melayan budak-budak makan, my husband actually took a cup to my mom who was busy flipping pancakes.

And when I saw my husband took a bite of bubur caca and passed his bowl to my mom, saying “Ini rasa sirap, Mummy… cuba rasa…” and my mom with furrowed brows took a bite too and suddenly both of them broke into a laugh, I could feel tears threatening to drop. Soon the bowl passed around the table as curious tongues wanted to have a taste too. That somehow buat aku sebek too.

The sight of my husband burping the littlest member of the family then proudly held him aloft for all to see was also quite a touching moment for me. Plus when MD hugged Ana and Esya with utmost affection when they came running towards him, asking about the toys he bought them yesterday.

Or when CY confidently told her husband who came in his Harley that Kamil would send her and the baby home without even checking with Kamil first. She knew Kamil wouldn't mind the 5 minute trip.

Then all of us trooped to Masjid Negeri for Isyak and Terawikh and waited patiently for all the members afterwards eventhough we came in different cars.

Due to that my doa after Isyak was a single “Thank you, Allah for the gift that you have bestowed upon us………”

PS : Oh yeah, sampai rumah Mummy aje MI threw the upstairs window open and yelled, “Korang pegi mana ?”

Hehhehe…. Tertinggal rupanya sorang kat atas.

My mom replied, “Aku nengok ko berposing atas katil… malas nak kacau………..”
Hehhehehe……………………..

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan...

Selamat berpuasa, kawan-kawan.

Pejam celik pejam celik dah puasa again.

And I soooo vividly remember last puasa.

Jatuh tangga and sampai nan la tak baik – baik lagi. Dok berdengkot jugak lagi. Sakitnya dah pi ke lutut pulak. Kamil suspected it is gout (YIKES !!!!!) but I am sure it has got something to do with my ankle which refused to heal properly.

Saturday we went to see Captain America. Boy was he handsome. Because seats were limited, we had to buy the 7.50 show. Mai 7.30 aje all of us (there were 8 of us, the usual 4 plus my 2 brothers, my sister CT and her husband) trooped to the surau and lo and behold ! terkejut kita orang becausevthere were sooo many people there.

Aku terharu tengok these young people usaha nak solat sebelum bersuka-ria. The men’s surau siap berimam lagi and it was sooo filled to the brim, they had to do 2 sessions. Oh.. terharu lagi.

Captain America was amazing !!! He is soooo yummy…. Okay, he and Thor can fight for the yummiest superhero in my world. Iron Man… heheh… tak yah lah. Stay down below, my friend.

Itu cerita malam… Siang-siang as usual the kids’ classes, then jumpa contractor (I am finally adding a PATIO at my house ! Yeay !!!!) then…masak, then hantar budak2 lagi (tapi tak yah ambik sebab Amelia hantar kan… Thanks, hon) then kelam kabut siap for wayang. Bibik on Friday lagi we sent her to Kak M’s house.

Sunday was busy. We tried going to pasar but it was too full. Went for breakfast, then pergi belek my nephew at his own abode, then picked my maid up from Kak M’s house to send her to CY’s, then to my mom’s to say hello but stayed for like 1 hour for cok udang and gossips. Then rushed home to siap then picked up CA at CY’s house for a spot of baju raya kat KLCC. But it turned out CY nak ikut (don’t tell my mom okay because dia belum habis pantang)and she said MI nak ikut tapi.... MI was at mom’s so definitely cannot go and pick him up sebab nanti Mak kami nampak… It was all kelam-kabut. Tulis pun penat.

There were no places to eat at KLCC anymore. Kamil took the children for lunch while I helped CA cari baju for her daughter (which Kamil paid for…. Aww…. Thank you, Babah !) and CY and MH (her hubby) cari baju for their son.

When it was our turn to eat, food court was soooo penuh (it was like 4.30 !) so we decided to go to A&W only to find it was not there!Anymore ! What the…. ! We soon discovered that neither was Burger King, nor DeliFrance not even KFC are still around ! Giler apa ? Yang tinggal Aunty Anne’s so itu jelah aku geget sebab perut dah lapar.

Balik hantar CA and my niece balik dulu then at home we kemas sedikit sebanyak then to my mom’s for dinner of nasi ayam then terawikh !

Penat weii…..

Aku penat….

Anyway… tak sedap hati sikit dengan Bibik baru. I have a feeling that she is going to run away soon.

Heheh…

Well…… dia nak balik raya. While that is understandable, how can she go when she just got here ? Plus Bibik Idah (mom’s bibik) nak balik so 2 households without maids are quite unimaginable. Plus we have to consider the household of my sister who is still in confinement.

I told her she can go back next year. It has always been in practice that our maids have to take turn. Yang penting my mom must have a maid. I also told her she can go back for Raya Haji.

“Suami saya mulanya tak benarkan saya kemari kak. Syaratnya saya harus pulang raya………… baru saya dibenarkan datang..”

Pulak dah……….