Sambal udang

I am sick. Riddled with coughs, snot and heavy chest.

But still yesterday we had dinner at Kokpelli's. We only go to Kokpelli's for special occassions. Birthdays, anniversary and whatever we felt like celebrating. Adik forgotten to request for Kokopelli for her birthday so when Abang did, she was rather upset. 

Anyway, today walaupun aku tak larat I cooked lunch. Probably because I lagi tak larat keluar makan. Or answer Kamil's "You nak makan apa  ?" I really hate that question. So... I made a Sri Lankan curry which was a bit masam because I underestimated the strength of the yoghurt. I should go easy next time. And I made sambal udang.

I think my sambal udang is nice enough. But still it wouldn't stand a chance against my mom's definitely... Or my Opah's.

Which of course reminded me of her. Opah was my grandma's sister. I hate was. Is really. Even though she had passed, she is still my grandma's sister. She did not cease to be so just because she is six feet under.

Anyway, I was sent to her a lot during cuti sekolah. Or when my parents had to go overseas. She lived in a setinggan in KL but I loved it anyway. I love going to hers sebab ada my arwah maksu who, I adore. Or adored. At Opah's house, we feasted on sambal udang quite a bit. Sigh.... I can still remember the delightful taste, the fiery red colour, the unpeeled udangs that frustrated me since my mom peeled hers.

Sometimes, maksu and the neighbours' kids would have picnics. Picnics to us then were food piled up on our plates during lunch time and we would meet somewhere to have our lunch together. Bawah pokok, or berlonggok tepi crudely made badminton court or someone's porch.

And if I somehow teringat about those picnics, I always saw sambal udang on my plate... red and sweet and pedas and masam at the same time. I will also remember the hot afternoon sun and the fun we had, eating together like that.

I couldn't remember their faces anymore, the girls I had my picnics with. I only remember my maksu's of course and maybe sometimes my sisters'.... but other than that, I don't remember anybody else. Sad, huh ?

I remember once visiting Opah after I had all grown up. I remember I was coming home for the summer holidays and Mom dragged me for a visit. It was about 3 pm and I wasn't expecting her to be cooking at 3 ! Arwah maksu was in the living room playing with her less than a year old son, and we were in the kitchen, watching Opah cooked while she complained about coming home from the hospital to find no food under the tudung saji. That was why she was cooking at 3. And yeah, it was sambal udang burbling in the wok, and I remember salivating at the sight and smell of it even though we had lunch already.

Ahhh... memories.

Opah passed about 3 years ago. After my maksu passed away, she took care of her son-in-law and her cucus. Even after Paksu re-married. She fell while cooking for Paksu's new wife who was in confinement and just gone...

I hope she wasn't making sambal udang then. That will be pushing it too far....

Sigh....

Al-fatihah for my Opah. And my Maksu.

Sorry... posting emo..

Aku rasa FB memang menyusah kan. Menyusahkan sebab ada some people yang berjaya menyakitkan hati aku with their every post.

Sebab the posts sah-sah tipu. Although bukan masalah aku sebenarnya. Nak tipu, tipulah. For most people bukannya aku tau pun. And if you do lie... it doesn't disturb me. Not my problem pun...

Tapi bila orang yang tipu ni stock-stock yang suka mengutuk aku, tapi suka buat posting houlier-than-thou... rasa macam URGHHH !!! Two faced giler !!!! Sebab this person I know. Every time she lies I know... Every time she pretends to be nice and sweet and baik... I know.

This is the person yang tak suka masak. She once told me dia tak suka masak. And pernah bagitau aku yang aku terlampau manjakan anak sebab aku masak for them. Tapi dalam FB, setiap kali masak setiap kali itu lah jugak tangkap gambaq taja dalam FB. Lepas tu cara bercakap macam masak hari-hari, when I know she doesn't. Once, a mutual friend told me the food she claimed she cooked on one particular day was bought ! Mengekek-ngekek kami gelak.

Jadi, the things you told me before tu, untuk apa ? Saja nak menyakitkan hati aku ?Engkau suka masak ke tak suka masak ke tak menjadi apa-apa hal for me. But if aku masak kau kutuk, pastu kau pulak tetiba nak jadi Nigella, memang le aku bengang.

This is also the person yang tetiba posting banyak mengenai Allah. Quoted Al-Quran dan hadith. But this is the person who once sindir aku, dia tak suka orang sembahyang kat rumah dia sebab dia rasa orang tu berlagak. "Nak sembahyang, sembahyang kat rumah sendiri. Buat nak buat depan orang ? Itu menunjuk namanya..."

She also once said dengan bangganya bahawasanya dia memang tak sembahyang and she doesn't mind telling other people that. All that because I pernah mintak sejadah dengan dia. She also called me behind my back as , "Perempuan yang ala-ala alim tu...." EEIIIIII !!

So... bila aku tengok posting dia yang mendabik dada cakap dia tak buat kat orang and dispensed nasihat pasal fitnah... aku naik angin sebab berapa banyak aku menangis pasal fitnah dia, pasal perbuatan dia... She once called me malas. Well... probably because she came to my house and rumah tunggang langgang. Well... aku kerja... and at that time, aku tak ada pembantu. For a person yang tak kerja and ada maid, sapa yang malas ? Tak kerja tapi tak masak untuk anak and husband, sapa yang malas ? Aku balik rumah masak tau ! Sampai aje rumah aku terus masak. Kalau pakai baju kurung je aku akan naik atas dulu tukar baju. Kalau tak, dengan office attire lah aku masak. Terkejar-kejar supaya aku tak miss maghrib. Aku akan masak, then mandi then baru solat. Supaya aku bersih bila aku solat. Not greasy with minyak and with hair smelling of  sambal.

Itu pun malas lagi ? How dare you ? And then... buat status macam tu, aku rasa macam ....  eiii... !

And the sad thing is, I cannot cut her out from my life.

So... I have to endure. Endure the seething anger when I log in my FB.

URGGHHH  !!!!

Okay lah.....

Aku kenyang hari ni. I skipped breakfast, lunch pun ntah apa-apa but at this moment after about 5 chopstick full of keautiaw goreng, I pushed it away. Sure sign of a gassy tummy.

Or mungkin aku gassy hari ni from inhaling too much air in my attempt to stop myself from blowing up. As I mentioned to Desert Rose, ada certain people dalam Malaya ni yang senang buat aku angin.

Moving on...

I have a new boss already. An erstwhile boss who became my boss again. This happens to me a lot, since I join this current company. Nothing much I can do about it. Problem is, even though other people are glad for me knowing how close I am with him, having to run again after walking with my now former boss... is gonna be hard.

My new boss is happy though. He said he is happy that I am around as he knows things will get done. Problem is, he said... well... I have to find a staff that can be my me... what I am to him is what he means.

Problem is, hehhehe.... I don't think I can be the ol' me... the me that he used to know... Because I have forgotten how to run... I am swamped with work but I still walk because I can.... Being swamped with work and having to run...sounds tiring...

Forget it people. I don't you understand what I am trying to say... Punyalah nak hint sampai tak paham... Hahah.....

Good news, we have booked our holiday. Punyalah happy Kamil and I, we jumped with joy when MAS sent us the confirmation email. Nasib baik katil tak patah. Yesterday Kamil said tak sabarnya tak pegi. Me too ! Menyesal pulak book for March.... hehehhe...

We booked the hotels already and the necessities and are raring to go.

In between that, KPIs to achieve, sekolah kan anak, kenduris to attend and .... host a kenduri of our own... Or.. a kendu-ty... Kenduri kesyukuran sempena Abang's 5As plus birthday party for my two kids.

Adik turned 9 last Saturday and Abang will be 12 this Friday. Sedey tau !!!!!! Anak dah besar... Yesterday we took Adik to the hospital. We were at the paediatric ward and almost everybody ada baby. I looked around in despair and told Kamil that I want one ! Semua orang ada satu. I aje tak ada...

But I have forgotten I have one smart Alec next to me. She looked around and said, "That lady hasn't got one... So is that lady... Besides, you have me... Cuma saya dah besar aje....."

Heheh... yelah, yelah....

Mak and anak

We went to play tennis today. It is never a good thing to do with Kamil who has very high expectations when it comes to sports. But luckily, we had fun. Probably because Abang is rather good at it and Kamil was impressed. Alhamdullilah for all the money I spent on his coach !

Adik sucked at it. Well not really. But coach told me that she could already play full court. But with Babah just now, she had to play only half court. Menggelabah dengan Abah, kot.

They swam afterwards, had lunch and then home where Kamil and I promptly fell asleep in front of the telly while watching Narnia. Dah tua.... tak boleh ada strenuous activities langsung.

Our new Bibik finally came. Well she was supposed to come much earlier but was somewhat.... er... detained. I am happy for my kids really since her arrival means that they do not have to be transported here and there anymore.

Adik was the one really affected with her nomadic state. 2-3 days before Bibik came, she told me,

"I miss you, Mummy. I am just sooo happy to see you. Just now bila Babah ambik kita I was soo excited to see you. Duduk dekat rumah Wan, sometimes saya rasa I won't see you again..... "

Waahhh...... serious stuffs man.

Then she went around the room, fingers trailing on the furniture, she sighed, "I miss my house...." When I told my boss about what she said, all he could say was, "What a drama queen...." Heheh...

Anyway, I know what she meant. Being with my in-laws meant she was separated from me in every single way. My essence are not present at their house. Nothing there could connect her to me. That was why I never lock the door of my room. I know my kids need to be inside my room to see me, via my stuffs... my clothes, my perfume, my junk.... whenever they return from school.

It was how I was when I was small. Every time I return home from school, I would just open the door to my parents' room even though I know they are not there. The sight of their room comforted me somehow. And the same goes for the rest of my siblings. Tak kisah lah pukul berapa dia orng balik, they will jenguk bilik Mummy.. just to see her sleeping.

My mom is forever grumbling about her interrupted sleeps but she never ever locked her door. She knows her kids need it.

Even my little nephew is like that. Sometimes when I have to babysit, he will cling to me in time of need even though he prefers Kamil, really. Bukannya apa, I remind him of his mum.

Anak-anak kan ? Such a special bond they have with their moms. Dah besar sometimes kita lupa but if our mom is a good mom, we will always come back.

It is soo sad when anak and mak berantakkan. I know a few with problems like that. Sometimes salah anak, but sometimes salah mak jugak. And that is the saddest.....

Semalam

I know I want to write about something… But in that short period of time, while waiting to fire up the lappy sempat pulak lupa. Must be the age.


Like yesterday, my ex-boss asked me for his key. Laa… awat lak mintak kat I ? Apparently he was told that V, a colleague, passed his keys to me. I asked her, and she said she did so during the department’s bowling game, and I am stumped. I have no recollection it happened at all.

I told RR that I will find the key for him but seriously, where ? I have no memory of the incident ever happening.

I think I have to start on Memomex soon.

Anyway, Kamil’s dad is in the hospital again. We were roused from our sleep 2 nights ago where Kamil had to accompany his dad in an ambulance.

We were roused from our sleep again this morning when MIL called to report FIL’s restlessness and his request to see Kamil.

I hope FIL gets better soon. Hospital is not nice.

Something funny happened yesterday. The kids told me Ustaz showed them a youtube of a shiny figure listening to Khutbah Jumaat in Masjid Nabawi. I soo want to see it but our house has no computer. Sejak kena copet, we didn’t buy any. We could only use Kamil’s and he doesn’t really like us using it. Battery habis memanjang.

However sebab punyalah nak tengok youtube tu, I grabbed it anyway. We were in my room at that time, baru nak golek-golek and sembang-sembang while watching the video. Or DVD …. Heheh..

Adik excitedly jumped nearer to me while Abang said he will stake a look-out for his Babah. Tak sampai 1 minit he came back, jumping excitedly saying that Babah is already on the stairs !

Rupa-rupanya in panic, aku tercengang tak tau nak buat apa. I know I should quickly snap it shut and jam the thing back in its bag, but I didn’t. Abang pulak went round and round the room, trying to act nonchalant. Adik ? She said, “Be cool, be cool….” before calmly laying down and covering herself with the duvet.

I looked around me, at my son who finally leaned on the sofa with one hand on his waist, chest wavy from the run-around, at my girl who was shrouded from head to toe only her hair visible and at my husband who looked like he caught us doing something really bad but wasn’t sure what it was until he saw his machine on my lap.

I had to laugh.

Keluar makan burger aje, sempat lak nangis...

I really loathe drivers that stop at the.... errr... petak kuning...(Yellow Boxes ?). The freaking kotaks are there for a reason, which is don't stop there moron, as you will disrupt the traffic. I really hate it when it is our turn to move, they are still there on the petak kuning, obstructing the traffic, making it impossible for me to resume my journey. So I usually loose my turn and while I had to wait for the light to go green again, they are already on their merry way.

Who do they think they are, expecting other people to wait for them ? Kita honk lah banyak mana pun dia buat dek aje... Yelah, dia boleh buat apa pun kalau traffic kat depan tak bergerak... Sebab itu, jangan berhenti di petak kuning ! Menyusahkan orang le, mangkuk.

Oh, emonya aku.

You remember those days when the telly stations showed Jangan Berhenti Di Petak Kuning advert ? Run them again, please sebab people have forgotten...

Anyway, I remember once when I was in the car with Bapak. Although he didn't stop in the middle of the petaks, but I managed to sweat, remembering the advert where the police came in cuffs to arrest the offender. Bapak aku terlajak sikit aje, masih sebelah traffic light pun but I was so worried I kept asking him to reverse back.

I remember it was night time and Dataran Merdeka was on my right. And there we were with the car encroaching maybe 5 cm of the sacred petak kuning. My bapak being my bapak buat dek aje kat aku sampai aku nak nangis, expecting the police to come swooping by to arrest him.

Lagilah bapak aku buat dek, saja nak mengusik. I remember being so relieved when the light turned green and the policemen still didn't come. Oh how naive I was thinking that the police force is that efficient. Heheh.

Kelmarin we had food at one of the mushrooming burger bakar outlets. Thick patties that rival the likes of TGI and Chillies they say. Dapat kat Kamil, it was gone in 3 ngaps. So he wasn't impressed. He even said it tasted like Ramly's. He suspects that they just campurkan 2 - 3 pieces of Ramlies to make 1 fat patty. Entah... I am not a burger fan so I had something else. Mee mamak yang looked like and tasted like mee hailam. And no, dia orang tak silap hantar. Bila aku tanya to confirm makanan apakah yang dia letak kat depan aku, mee mamak was said dengan confidentnya sekali.

Anyway, kat situ ada 1 resident orange cat. Punyalah friendly. Mula-mula dia golek dekat Kamil. And then, macam tau-tau aje, it started to roll around Abang who has the softes of hearts when it comes to animals. It not only goleked, it actually kuis-kuis kaki budak itu and when I looked, its eyes were closed with one paw on Abang's toes.

Keras orang tu punyalah tak nak gerak kaki dia.

When Kamil got up to pay, Abang dah start kalut. Looking for scraps of food to give to his 'little buddy'. Then I got up to leave but he bent down further. When I called his name, mata dah bergenang.

Sigh......

Moving on, I don't know if I ever mentioned Abang's very garang piano teacher. Punyalah garang Kamil and I are very much unashamed to admit that we are scared of her. But garang-garang pun, she is very dedicated and I can say that without her, I don't think Abang would have passed his exam. However as of last week, Abang started his lessons with a new teacher. I had to allow it to happen because everytime before his classes, he will get really stressed out. I even caught him crying once. Walking out the classroom while valiantly trying to hold back his tears are a normal sight to behold. Walking out of the classroomn while hiccuping and sobbing happened once.

So after much deliberation, we decided for a change. I want my son to enjoy the instrument. Not freeze and scream in fear when he sees one.

Walau apa-apa pun, his garang ex-teacher's effort could not be forgotten. So last week, I made a trip to Kate Spade and bought her a nice coin pouch.

I did not get to give it to her personally as I had to stay home to receive the curtain people (my curtains are gorgeous, y' all !!), my new pink winged chair and beautifully re-upholstered L-shape sofa for the kitchen and the maintenance guys for odds and ends. So Kamil had to do it for me. And because orang lelaki yang bagi, I couldn't get the whole picture whether she was estatic, or touched or was jumping with joy.

"She said thank you..." was all he could manage. Bosan.

She sms-ed me that night. She said she is glad to know that she is being appreciated. That is true. I do appreciate her.

My reply, if things doesn't work out with the new teacher, I am sending him back to you.

She said, okay.

Heheh....

I am not a nag ...

So... ada benda yang nak aku cerita sebenarnya.. Well... not cerita exactly but to ran and rave about. Benda yang terjadi ni also made Kamil and I berantakkan sepanjang masa.
Well... dia membebel and aku shroud myself in silence. Please stop saying women are nags. So not true.

As much as I want to write it down, I can't. Karang jadi benda lain pulak. Again, I should have blogged anonymously. Maybe I will. Maybe I will start a new blog and just write everything down. Create a new name and all.

Anyway, semalam I went out with a dear friend who is also an ex-colleague. Dengan anak-anak kami trailing from behind. All 10 of us. Aku ada 2 aje and she has an impressive 6. Heheh...Yup, my bad, my bad. Sebab yang kecik-keciknya ada 8 (well her eldest is taller than her and my eldest is taller than me.. so we have to minus them from the 8), tak sempat lah sangat nak bersembang berbagai. Nak mengomel-ngomel karang anak-anak dengar, tak elok pulak. But it was fun. I was glad Abang made new friends although Adik didn't manage to get on with her daughter. All fault laid on Adik's feet for being so shy. Too shy in fact which contradicts greatly with her very funny self, her sassiness and sauciness and those special elements that made her... well her. Gregarious her.

Only with us, probably. Shame.

Other than that, we went to watch Rise of the Guardians last Friday. It was really great. Amazing. I had so much fun watching it and everybody agreed that it is the best animated movie so far. Better than Toy Story 3 or A Bug's Life which is my favourite.... I think.

Oh.. there is a new green rug in my home. A small one. It came from a very questionable source. Yeah, I know you guys must be thinking how questionable a rug could get, eh ? Bootleg carpet ? Heheh... No... But well... it is something that I can't explain but just would like to record of its errmmm.. questionableness.

Other than that ?

Oh yeah. About Adik and her super fear of the unknowns that lurk in the dark. 2 nights ago I asked her to send folded laundry to her room. Her own stuffs pun. I was upstairs with her, kay and all she had to do was walk the 10 steps to her room. I swear I could hear her fart from my room. Punyalah dekat kan ?

But what happened was,

"Abang....teman saya simpan baju dalam bilik..."

"Saya kat bawah lah...."

I don't believe this. The guy is downstairs ! She expects him to come up to teman her ?

"Takpelah... Teman je lah...."

A pause. Then a very audible sigh. Then..."Okay lah...."

Hehehehhehe......