Aku buat dah....melalut ntah apa-apa

Chivalry is dead ?

Nope… in Malaysian only…. Okay, that is unfair. There are some nice gentlemen here who still waited for a lady to step in or out of the elevator first. And there are those who still opened the door for me.

But they are so far in between that when a guy did something gallant, I would do a double take before I can smile in gratitude.

It should be the other way around, isn’t it ? I should be shocked when a man failed to hold the door open for me, not if they do. It shows what kind of a society we live in nowadays. Maybe feminism failed us ? Maybe because we were so caught up for equal rights and equal opportunities that we forgot we actually like the attention given to us ?

Last year, I met David who flew from England for a meeting. I was shocked when he insisted to walk me to my car after the meeting was over. It was about 10 pm, at Holiday Inn Glenmarie and my car was visible from the lobby.

“Nope, nope…” he said as he extended his arm out, indicating that I should start walking, when I protested. “I have to see you safely to your car. I hardly ever allow my female staffs to work late. If they have to, I will make sure all of them get safely home. The world is dangerous nowadays. If I was the reason you had to be out of your home late at night then I must ensure that you do it safely…” He then queried about the length of my journey and if it was a safe route.

I was touched. None of my bosses ever cared to ask. None. It made me think of once when I just started working. I didn’t own a car then and relied on my colleagues and the bus to get home. One day my boss gave me the work too late and I had to stay on until 10 pm to make sure we make the deadline.

My boss left the office at 7. He knew my predicament. My car-less state that is. He also knew that the bus service at Jalan Ampang Hilir is almost non-existant. But he left anyway. Siap pesan suruh aku habiskan sebelum balik.

Macamana aku nak balik ? I remember him smiling at me as he opened the door. The dark has descended upon us, the streetlights were already lit up. His body was poorly illuminated by the dim lightings outside as the lobby’s own were already switched off. I remember his smiles and his body that looked like a shadow. I could see him now like that. How I hated him then for leaving me alone. I hate him still now actually. I remember gripping the hole puncher that I had in my hand, willing myself to not fling it to his bloody head.

Luckily Abang Man the despatch stayed with me.He shook his head in disbelief when he learned our boss had left. A colleague was to stop by to take the documents from me. Abang Man said don’t worry, our colleague will drop you off. But you know what, he refused. His wife was in the car and he didn’t want to raise her irk. She was already angry because he had to stop by the office so he was scared that having to send me off somewhere would make her angrier.

Boleh ? Abang Man was shocked yet again. I was embarrassed. We looked at each other, and I just shrugged my shoulders. What to do ? The thing is yeah, Abang Man bawak motor. He can take me sure but he only had one helmet with him at that time.

When our colleague left Abang Man said never mind, kita naik je motor ni berdua. He handed me his sole helmet. I pushed it back to him. My reasoning ? The police could spot a helmetless driver waaay before they can see the pillion.

Nak dijadikan cerita, it rained. I was soaking wet when Abang Man dropped me off at KLCC. He smiled regretfully at me and shook his head. With a sigh, he left for home. It was close to 11 pm.

Whenever I thought about that episode, aku sedih sangat. How callous can people be ? How uncaring. And how ungentlemanly. All of them. Except for Abang Man of course. He is a gem. Still is.

Anyway, Steve came with David for that meeting in Holiday Glenmarie. But he flew from Down Under. On his second trip here, he presented me with a box of macadamia nut chocolates, a local delicacy where he came from. It was a thank you because I plied him with loads of local goodies for him to take home when he was here before. It was returned gesture sure but how many would remember to do so in the first place ?

Last week I met Joe. An old mat salleh that from the looks of it is a resident of our country. He was so chivalrous, my smiles for him was tender. He wouldn’t let me open the door at all. That is his job. I must get out of the lift first. In fact, he must press the button for the lift. I was only to tell him which floor we were going to. When I dared to open the door to the meeting room first, he groaned in despair. He kept apologizing and saying thank you. Instead of rasa rimas, I was so touched.

I stood up to get the tea lady, he quickly stood up too. When I asked for his beverage of choice, it was inundated with pleases and thank yous. I was tempted to say, “Aku ambik order je lah bang. Kak Sue yang buat….” He was sweet, that Joe. I wish I could take him home.

I want my son to be like that. Once a collegue who step aside in order to let me get on the lift first, eventhough he was there first made me feel nice. He then held the door for me, indicating with his head that I should go out first. I awarded him with my best smiles, the smile that I reserved for loved ones, till he blushed.

Being polite doesn’t take much. If you are used to it, it doesn’t take any effort at all. Wouldn’t the world be a nice place to live in if we take just a minute to be nice and polite and chilvarous ? The ladies get their doors opened, and the men, the real men get to be thought of as a hero.

So why again I said chivalry is dead ? Because of the male bosses who didn’t think about their female staffs’ safety when he asked them to stay back, who let them take the cab or the busses while they drove off in the safety of their huge Merc or whatever. Even if the female employee owns a vehicle, their safety is still not guaranteed. Why criminals attack females ? Because they deemed us as weaker. Because thought that we get flustered. Of course we are stronger but to be put in that situation is horrifying and traumatic. We shouldn’t be put in that situation in the first place.

Well… of course the above example is just one of it. There are many, many ways where we can find people who refused to play nice. Besides, chilvary is not just a man’s business.

Sometimes aku rasa the higher you go, then the less effort you take to be nice. Why ? I don’t understand that myself.

Yeah… I am angry about something right now. Bloody pissed off in fact. And aku rasa, part of the problem is men yang dah tak tahu to be gentlemen. Let’s not talk about being understanding and kind lah… lagi tarak.