Happy Anniversary, darling....

It is our 17th year Anniversary today. Err…. in the fb I wrote 18th… tapi bila ambik calculator… la ropa-ropanya 17… my bad, my bad…..

Anyway as always, before our Anniversary Kamil got a bit lovey dovey. Lepas 13th of April, he would return to his normal Neanderthal self sure but at least I have like a whole month of him being affectionate.

Oh yeah, it started early for him this year. Usually he starts realizing of my existence a week before the Anniversary….

Ha ha….

When we had dinner at BSC last month ago, we sat next to each other on the bench seat. After we ordered, he suddenly scooted close to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I was a bit surprised but it was nice so I snuggled closer and just enjoyed the sensation.

Usually we would talk a lot, leading to our Anniversary. Reminisce actually. About when we were younger, about our days in England, about the kids when they were babies. I like going though Memory Lane with him. We have gone through so much together, good or bad.

On my part, I just want to be with him. That is it. No clever prose from me. That is the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God.

I like to ask why he loves me but he could never give a definite answer. Which I must admit used to pain me to no end when I was younger. But I am happy to announce that it made me smile now, since I am older and much, much (don’t you dare muntah, okay… Amuse me…please) wiser.

Anyway… I got sad when I saw like a solitary grey hair on his chest some months ago. And my heart tore some more when I spotted another one amongst his sideburn. I said to him, “I jumpa you masa you muda you know… Masa kita budak-budak… we were 13. And now you have grey hair….”

And I foolishly felt so bereft for something I don’t even know what. Was it his youth ? Or was it mine that I was so sad for ?

I was watching the telly about a week ago when he sauntered into the kitchen, hands in his pocket, looking a mixture of amusement and wistfulness.

“Stumbled upon your picture kat depan… You were 19 I think gambar tu… “He shook his head and smiled.

Ambiklah… Show me… I said. When I looked at it, I was indeed 19, wearing my favourite polo shirt. I do not know why I love collared t-shirts. Until now, I have like 10 in every colour… (DR, 2 warna putih… ha ha).

Anyway, he leaned on me as we shared the picture. “Your face lonjong sikit masa ni…” Yeah… thank you for reminding me, I was about 44 kg masa tu.. memanglah… Now dah berkg2 over tapi tak tinggi2 jugak.. Height remained the same… yeessshhh…..

He looked at me fondly then smiled and squeezed my shoulder. Then he gave me a hug.

So, he had the same ailment as I have… Don’t know what it is called but the simptom is feeling sad looking at our older partners… ha ha…

I am the type who likes to ask trivial… and I have to admit mostly stupid questions. Like when I asked my friends Shazmi, Anu and Kamil of course, while we were driving off to somewhere, “If you guys ada band, what would you call it ?” They groaned because they know I like to do that. After a long silence and thinking that I would not get an answer, Anu piped in from behind, “3 B… 2 Benggalis and 1 Banjar…” Ha ha… nice huh ? That is why we call them the Bs….

So… you know I just like to ask what I pretended to be thought provoking but what I secretly admit useless questions. Bearing that in mind, I asked Kamil “What is my favourite colour ?” in the car last week.

“Hmm…. colour susah sikit.. But in reality… it is red….”

You know seriously that is a good answer. In reality it is red. I sometimes pretend it is blue or purple. I always reach for red stuffs but chickened out thinking that I do not want my wardrobe to be awashed with red. Eventhough it is my favourite colour, I foolishly fear it could be too bright. He he…. Stupid huh ? Who cares, right ?

Anyway his test was not over. “What is my favourite fruit ?”

Again he went hmmm…. then said, “Pineapples…”

I was just thinking that. I was just thinking how much I would kill for a pineapple right then.

He didn’t write a sonnet for me, but I felt like he just did. He didn’t buy me flowers but I felt like I was holding a huge bouquet of my favourite pale roses.

Hmm… I suppose as we get older, our priorities changed. And we stopped wanting our love life to be just like in the movies, dreaming about the day our partners walk sexily to the office (?), sweeping us off our feet a la Richard Gere in that very, very sexy uniform. I suppose as we get older (and hopefully more mature) and grounded to earth, we understand that…. well… we are not Debra Winger are we, so how come he must be Richard Gere ?

Sometimes when I hear young ladies insists on romance.. I feel like shaking my head for their silliness. Darlings, you think mat sallehs are romantic ? Dalam tv yelah director suruh, balik rumah Mark Harmon (sigh…) pun balik terus nengok tv, tak pedulik kat bini.

Not everybody can do romance. Not the telly and book kind though. You must be able to see that your partners have their own brand of romance. Okay, sometimes it is not that obvious to see, but please look hard.

I once bumped into a friend of mine at KLCC, weeks before her own wedding. At that point I was already married for 5-6 years. She admitted being nervous about her big day, but of course that didn't dim her pink of happiness. “What advice can you give me ?” She asked.

Without any hesitation, this wise woman replied “Do not have high expectations….”

She was taken aback as I suppose she was expecting to hear romantic gooeeyy stuffs.

“But I thought you should have high expectations ?”

“Well…. if your expectations are based on the telly… then stop right there….” I remember telling her. “You will only be disappointed if he doesn’t come up to scratch to your expectations… Flowers every week… little notes to say he loves you…. If they never materialize, you will be disappointed and that is never good for marriage.

Enter your union with an open mind and the knowledge that he loves you and will love you the way he knows how. Fetching you from your office, going out at night to buy your dinner eventhough he is tired etc. Then if you need more, you coach him… tell him what you want because hell he is not a mind reader…”

Macam bagus je kan aku ?

Belah lah ! Ha ha ha…

Happy Anniversary, my darling Kamil … I lap you so much one.

PS : By the way, Kamil asked me back, what is his favourite fruit ? Jawapannya ialah jambu. Betul !! Tapi dia pi tambah “Buah apa yang I suka tapi tak boleh makan dah sebab selalu tercekik ?”

Ha ?

Well… dia ni memang ada problem sikit. Not lah tercekik but sometimes food doesn’t travel to his tummy peacefully. Mesti ada yang tersangkut sikit-sikit…. But is there any fruit that he had stopped consuming altogether ?

“Cempedak ?”

He shook his head, coupled with his jelingan boring, “Tembikai….”

Huh ?

Ye ke ?

PS2 : Recently he mused, “Kalau kita jahat, Umar dah ambik SPM dah tahun ni…”

Ya Rabbi… itu yang hang pikiaq ?

Bukan saja Umar ambik SPM, hang ngan aku-aku sekali keje kilang tau dak ? Tok sah dipikirkan le benda merepek macam tu Kamil oiii……….