Today a blogger friend moaned about her daughter’s heart break on FB. I was told that her lovely daughter was distraught for not being invited to a classmate’s birthday party. The soft hearted Momma too was heart broken.
Aww….…. I know how the both of them feel.
As a parent, we want everything to be all peaches and cream for our progenies. For life to sail smoothly and good things to drop at their feet. For the rest of the world to bestow love on this great little guy and gal and for no hurt and despair to ever dare reach them.
It is not such a tall order, right ?
Oh but it is.
Life can be cruel. People can be cruel.
And eventhough parents are well acquainted with that fact, and really should come prepared, but when it hit our darling children, we feel like we have just encountered the real world. It feels like a new blow and we are shocked that life can be this unkind.
What to do. C’est la vie.
Abang, once during Standard 1 complained that his ‘friends’ wouldn’t let him play football.
He narrated the story with an angry frown of the unjustice of it all but the momma... oh this momma cried herself to sleep, imagining a scene of him desolately alone at the side of the padang watching his friends wistfully, kicking stones and blades of grass, over and over again.
Anak aku !!! Siannya dia….
Sekarang ni aku dah start sebak balik, okay. Eventhough it was like 3 years ago, but aku rasa macam nak cari je budak-budak tu. What will I do with them once I successfully rounded them all up is a mystery. Because I love children so I don’t think I would inflict pain. Maybe bribe them with chocolates so that my son is included next time. Can he live with the shame ?
And then 3 days ago… oooohhhh….. fresh wound, people… fresh wound.
As I was driving him home from school he told me, “Saya marah lah sebab bila kawan-kawan saya main bola, dia orang tak pernah pass dekat saya….”
Haaaa ? Ye ke, baby hunny bunny chikeboom Mummy ni ?
WAAAAAAA !!!!!
Why ?
“Saya tak tahu…. Dia orang pun buat macam tu dekat A and D1 And D2….”
Owwh…. Even though they didn’t discriminate him alone, his frown and his lowered eyelids, his scrunched nose broke my heart over and over again.
“Korang tak pandai main bola agaknya……”
“But they never let us try !”
Hai lah…..
After a long silence, I said;
“Life is like that sometimes. You cannot win every time and you cannot make everybody likes you. Things will some times go bad and some times they will be good.
You don’t like how they treat you ? Then don’t ever treat anybody like that. Ever ! You are a good tennis player buy if one day there is a person who is not as good as you asks you to play with him, you MUST play with him. MUST ! Eventhough playing with him is not nice, the game is slow and he always, always misses you must oblige him because it is the right thing to do. Because you are kind and you cannot, and would not hurt his feelings.
Even if one day yeah you can play football very well, always include other people who aren’t as good or can’t even play because it is better to be nice than to win. Never follow the crowd. If your friends refused to include anybody, you will not the same. You are a kind person you will play with him. Orang tak nak pass bola ? When you get the ball you pass to him. Remember this.
Remember that day I asked you to secretly give the Disney pens to your friends ? Remember I told you never give out the pens in front of other friends who are not getting them ? This is why lah. You are hurt right now because you got excluded. Jamilah (ye ke aku guna nama ni ? Dah tak ingat dah… ha ha….) hari tu pun I think was hurt because she got excluded.
Therefore I always tell you time and time again, be nice and don’t be cruel. Always take into account other people’s feelings. Always.
Besides, you can’t be good in everything. You are an amazing tennis player, so you concentrate on that. Why don’t next time if you and your friends are excluded again, get another ball and play amongst yourselves. Don’t let them ruin your fun.”
Chewah… If only I listen to my own advice. Because aaa that night aaa…. I shed tears again. This time I kept picturing Abang and A and D1 and D2 running and yelling frantically for their friends to pass the ball to them… tapi tak dapat. Jahatnya budak2 tu !!!
I really don’t know if I healed him a bit, if at all.
Je ne sais pas.
So my darling friend, I know how you feel.
Aww….…. I know how the both of them feel.
As a parent, we want everything to be all peaches and cream for our progenies. For life to sail smoothly and good things to drop at their feet. For the rest of the world to bestow love on this great little guy and gal and for no hurt and despair to ever dare reach them.
It is not such a tall order, right ?
Oh but it is.
Life can be cruel. People can be cruel.
And eventhough parents are well acquainted with that fact, and really should come prepared, but when it hit our darling children, we feel like we have just encountered the real world. It feels like a new blow and we are shocked that life can be this unkind.
What to do. C’est la vie.
Abang, once during Standard 1 complained that his ‘friends’ wouldn’t let him play football.
He narrated the story with an angry frown of the unjustice of it all but the momma... oh this momma cried herself to sleep, imagining a scene of him desolately alone at the side of the padang watching his friends wistfully, kicking stones and blades of grass, over and over again.
Anak aku !!! Siannya dia….
Sekarang ni aku dah start sebak balik, okay. Eventhough it was like 3 years ago, but aku rasa macam nak cari je budak-budak tu. What will I do with them once I successfully rounded them all up is a mystery. Because I love children so I don’t think I would inflict pain. Maybe bribe them with chocolates so that my son is included next time. Can he live with the shame ?
And then 3 days ago… oooohhhh….. fresh wound, people… fresh wound.
As I was driving him home from school he told me, “Saya marah lah sebab bila kawan-kawan saya main bola, dia orang tak pernah pass dekat saya….”
Haaaa ? Ye ke, baby hunny bunny chikeboom Mummy ni ?
WAAAAAAA !!!!!
Why ?
“Saya tak tahu…. Dia orang pun buat macam tu dekat A and D1 And D2….”
Owwh…. Even though they didn’t discriminate him alone, his frown and his lowered eyelids, his scrunched nose broke my heart over and over again.
“Korang tak pandai main bola agaknya……”
“But they never let us try !”
Hai lah…..
After a long silence, I said;
“Life is like that sometimes. You cannot win every time and you cannot make everybody likes you. Things will some times go bad and some times they will be good.
You don’t like how they treat you ? Then don’t ever treat anybody like that. Ever ! You are a good tennis player buy if one day there is a person who is not as good as you asks you to play with him, you MUST play with him. MUST ! Eventhough playing with him is not nice, the game is slow and he always, always misses you must oblige him because it is the right thing to do. Because you are kind and you cannot, and would not hurt his feelings.
Even if one day yeah you can play football very well, always include other people who aren’t as good or can’t even play because it is better to be nice than to win. Never follow the crowd. If your friends refused to include anybody, you will not the same. You are a kind person you will play with him. Orang tak nak pass bola ? When you get the ball you pass to him. Remember this.
Remember that day I asked you to secretly give the Disney pens to your friends ? Remember I told you never give out the pens in front of other friends who are not getting them ? This is why lah. You are hurt right now because you got excluded. Jamilah (ye ke aku guna nama ni ? Dah tak ingat dah… ha ha….) hari tu pun I think was hurt because she got excluded.
Therefore I always tell you time and time again, be nice and don’t be cruel. Always take into account other people’s feelings. Always.
Besides, you can’t be good in everything. You are an amazing tennis player, so you concentrate on that. Why don’t next time if you and your friends are excluded again, get another ball and play amongst yourselves. Don’t let them ruin your fun.”
Chewah… If only I listen to my own advice. Because aaa that night aaa…. I shed tears again. This time I kept picturing Abang and A and D1 and D2 running and yelling frantically for their friends to pass the ball to them… tapi tak dapat. Jahatnya budak2 tu !!!
I really don’t know if I healed him a bit, if at all.
Je ne sais pas.
So my darling friend, I know how you feel.
-
WAAAAAAAAAAAAA !
10 comments:
waaaaaaaaaaaaa.. aku nak nangis lagi!!!
nak menambah garam to the wound.. si balqis ni is trying very hard to hide her feelings.. gosok2 mata cakap sakit mata konon...
hadoiii.. wondr where that came from..
:(
oh aku sungguh sedih laa.. memang tak boleh nak protect our beloved ones from that kind of thing, kan? life's just like that. dukacita dimaklumkan they just have to face that with brave heart.
yes, i wish for more kindness. more thoughtfulness.
SIANNYA DIA ... ! She is trying to be brave about it, good girl !
Tak pe Balqis, there are other people who love you.
laaa... hang ni pepagi lagi dah buat aku sebek.
Note to myself: jgn baca blog dia pagi-pagi, bukak only at night. Terima kasih.
Ana... sedih kan ? Aku sebek lagi ni ha... Tak leh ingat...
Yes.. we MUST teach our kids to be thoughtful to others. And yes, it is something they have to face ... Sigh.
(Konot, andalah subject cerita ini?? )
Very2 true dear frens, although kite selalu perasan that kita super mommies yg boleh protect our babies, but still life would treat them cruel sometimes.
Aufa pun penah kena kat tadika yg aku hntr dia untuk buat prep b4 masuk stnd 1, ada sorang minah menghasut semua orang jgn kawan dia sb dia baru baik chicken pox.
Aku mula2 suh dia deal secara berhemah, cakap tak baik cakap lagu tu, berdosa Allah marah.
But she kept on doing that sampai cek mek ni reluctant nak pi sekolah, terrer btoi budak tu, kecik2 dah ada skill Joyah.
Last2 wa sudah tak tahan, and I know what I did was like sooo wrong but what the heck, aku suh Aufa cakap, awak ni dah la muka tak lawa, buat la perangai cantik sikit. Ni dah burok, perangai pun tak senonoh, sah2 la Allah tak sayang awak...Lepas tu dia buleh kata tak la kita cantikk, waaaaa yakin diri tinggi la plak kan.
Pastu aku suh Aufa plak cakap, saya pun tak nak kawan ngan orang jahat, nanati ikut masuk neraka, saya nak kawan ngan orng baik dan pandai je.
Lepas tu, semua kwn2 yg dihasut mula2 tu telah berpaling tadah dan mengawani Aufa plak, maka budak itu pulak telah dipulaukan. Uihh politik sungguh budak2 la ni.
p/s citer pensel disney tu aku dengaq gak, tapi narrated by Aufa la
Eja... apakah teruknya budak tersebut ?
Lepas tu perasan cantik lak...
Kenapakah at a very tender age dia buleh berperangai begitu, pandai menghasut orang begitu ?
Apakah ? Apakah ?
I am glad though that Hang pandai ajaq anak hang come back yang bernas... tak sia-sia hang belajaq jadi loyar... ha ha...
Hello. ermm.. dropping by hope u dont mind :) My daughter gets asked to sit down during ballet cos tak de partner pun makes me sad. I hope its bec she doesnt take the exam and not because of anything else.
Dear Miss S, of coyrs I don't mind..
Anyhow, I bet you musthave felt like grabbing a tutu somehow and beame her partner kan ? Siannya dia.... Kadang2 kan the kids tak rasa apa2 pu sangat, tapi mak bapak yang tengok ni yang tak boleh tiduq...
On that note, hope you have gotten over it.... even though I haven't ! Pandai bagi nasihat je kan I ni ?
Take care.
Dear Anonymous... kalau baca malam2tak nangis ke ? Sure nangis gak ! Ha ha
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