Tak bermakna kau punya sorry, kay ?

Hari tu Adik kena belasah dengan  a… well… let me say somebody of the same age, whom I will name C.

To say aku tak kisah anak aku kena belasah is not true lah, tetapi sebab yang buat pun budak, aku tak banyak cakap. Budak kan…. It is sooo hard to hukum anak-anak ni, considering their maturity. Bukannya apa, sementara nak besar, they experiment a lot. Those yang berani even push the boundaries. However it doesn’t mean that they are bad kids. They are essentially, kids.

I have seen my share of little horrific monsters who became perfect gentlemen/ladies when they are grown. SO there is no need to label them early on.

Bagi chance lah kan.

But in situation like this, apa yang aku kisah is the reaction from the parents. Parents to the kids yang mengkarate anak orang ni.

Pernah terjadi once Abang was pushed by a child called B when he was about 3. Since he was pushed from a height (apparently. I wasn’t present when it happened), the lebam was golf ball sized. It was painful to see. I did not say anything to the mother. Aku diam kan aje sebab tak nak cari gaduh and well... the one that pushed him pun a little boy jugak. He was only 4 je pun. 

The mother however apologized to me while she got in her car, about 2 days after the incident. Sambil lalu sebelah aku, she said, “Mintak maaf lah ye B tolak Abang hari tu…” Aku angguk aje and opened my mouth to say “Alah budak-budak….” but sayangnya tak sempat. She spoiled her apology by saying, “Tapi you tanyalah anak you apa dia buat kat anak I !”

Pulak.

I of course grilled my child who predictably said he didn’t do anything. Entah siapa nak percaya.

In order to elakkan anak aku from causing harm to her child again, I separated my son from her brood. Aku memang tak bagi jumpa, seriously takut anak aku membelasah anak dia lagi.

Lama-lama she called me, asking kenapa aku tak bagi anak aku jumpa anak dia ? I explained nicely that she herself told me that my son did something bad to her son. So, in order to not let that happen, it is better if I separate them, kan  ?

So…. , she said and I remember her voice being freaking unpleasant, laced with her very low opinion of my ability as a mother, itu aje cara you untuk selesaikan masalah ni ? Aik ? Masalah sapa sebenarnya ni ?

Nak je aku gasak sebiji sebab I did ask witnesses, kay. The maid and my MIL were there, and all of them said Abang did nothing to her son. Memang dia tak boleh terima kalau anak dia salah and she has to point blame elsewhere. This sadly continues on until now. But in order to jaga relationship aku cakap “Habis, you nak anak you kena belasah dengan anak I lagi ke ?” which as soon as it escaped from my mouth sounded like my 3 year old son is much more macho than her 4 year old.

So to placate her and also to biarkan si luncai terjun dengan labu-labunya, I said “I am sorry, I do not want to put my son in a position where he can hurt people. You yourself said he did something bad to your son, so I am also teaching him a lesson. If you don’t play nice, then you don’t to get to play at all….”

Kalau dia tak paham sindiran aku tu tak taulah kan.

In the case dengan Adik ni, the father of C was very apologetic and dan-dan tu jugak rained a lot of grief on the child. C was forced.. or should I say arm-wrestled to apologise to my daughter. Nengok dia kena marah of course touched my heart and made me cry, because aku kesian…  but then I am sure bapak dia lagi kesian kan anak tu, but being a good parent, you cannot ikutkan perasaan kesian to your anak, especially when he/she has done something wrong. Tough love namanya.

My kids (when I say my kids, it includes Kakak and Banana – my nieces) know that I am very big on apologies. Walaupun dengan orang tak kenal, I will march them to grovel for forgiveness when required. Pernah sekali Abang and Kakak were playing rough in a restaurant and terpelanting lah gelas to the floor and water sprayed on this poor lady’s outfit.

Kelajuan nafas naga aku tak payah diceritakan lagi. I barked my orders for them to say sorry and they meekly got up and did so. Abang even offering to wash the soiled clothes.

Luckily the lady was a very nice lady and she graciously accepts their apologies.

But… hmm… I did notice something funny. When I went to her personally to apologise for my unruly kids, although she was again very much kind and generous, I noticed her friend was not. Nak kata minah tu kena tak jugak tapi dia yang buat muka tak puas hati…..

Orang…..