Semalam

I am so tired today. Actually I am tired all the time. I feel sluggish and unmotivated. I feel so burdened with things sometimes. Nak kata meroyan... my last baby is almost 10 so... it is probably age.

Semalam pagi-pagi lagi kami bersiap to go to the Curve and then lunch at IKEA. Dah lama dah tak makan the meatballs. We arrived there at 10am and was greeted with a very long queue. They weren't even serving the lunch menu yet ! What time did these people get here ?

We haven't had breakfast yet so while the kids waited (and guarded) at a table, we went down to get curry puffs and mineral water to tide us in until lunch, served at 11.30. By 11.25 the line got longer so we gave up. Went to Debenhams, the real reason we ventured there in the first place and then hot dogs for lunch.

Anyway, there were bouncy castles there and Adik jumped with joy at the prospect of it. Aku benda macam tu malas nak decide takut kena pangkah jugak akhirnya dengan Kamil so she turned her begging to Kamil. She clasped her hands together, made her eye bigger and said, "Please, please, please..." and Babah relented.

She whooped with happiness and Abang remarked, "Bila Adik buat macam tu, Babah selalu kalah...."

Excuse me ?

I asked him what he meant and Abang said, "Well... bila dia buat macam tu (here he clasped his hands together) Babah selalu give in ..." and he smiled ruefully.

You want to have a go at the bouncy castle ? I asked and he recoiled in horror and said , "NO !" I don't know which part I felt the saddest most for. At the possibility of him implying that Babah favours his sister or that he doesn't want to play on a bouncy castle anymore.

Dia dah pandai lock himself in the room. He could be there for hours at end, I have no idea what he was doing. He doesn't really watch cartoons anymore and the saddest part is never requests to be tucked in anymore. Usually he would just give me a peck on the cheek and forehead before he goes to bed and that was it. I guess I am lucky that I still get those, I suppose.

Once I was already asleep while watching the telly with him in my room. I was woken up when I felt him kissing me on the forehead with the softest goodnight, mummy uttered. He didn't switch-off the telly but he did lower the volume down, just the way I like it.

Sigh... I need a new play-thing... a baby....

Anyway last night my siblings gathered at my home to watch a horror movie, Mama. The aircond in the telly-room dah rosak, so is the one in my room and so Kamil bawak the telly from the kitchen and set it up with the player in the living room. I brought down loads of pillows and blankets and we had a very nice and cosy time.

Bila adik-adik aku dah balik, macam malas pulak nak naik atas, so we crashed there.

Nice.