Abang's doing a good job

I cried again last night… well what is new at that front, yeah ? We were in the car and the sight of tapak pasar tani brought me back to bulan puasa 5 – 6 years ago when Shera and I had a tudung raya shopping spree.

We were there for hours at end, looking, choosing, bargaining… Heat, hunger and thirst forgotten. I remember after we had bought so much we stumbled upon a gerai with a light green tudung on display. She squealed in delight and last night her face ( filled with pleasure and admiration for the said tudung ) at that very exact moment, looking at me while holding the tudung ( she was on tippy toes – both of us are very small ) flashed before me. So of course I cried.

Adik noticed me crying and of course was very much concerned. She touched my shoulder and asked, “What is wrong, Mummy ?” I lied, telling her I was not crying while my voice shook and sadness was much evident.

“Why are you crying, Mum ?” She asked again.

“Tak… I was just thinking of Cik Shera….I miss her….”

“Oh…..” She said and paused before saying, “It’s okay , Mummy. Everything will be all right….”.

Then I heard, “Adik… move away… Let me handle this….” He he….

So my son scooted near, hugged me from behind and murmured, “It’s okay, Mummy…. It’s okay… Everything will be all right….”, which was not different from what his sister said…

Thank you, babies. Forgive me… I do not know when I will be back to my old self… but please give me time. Things will be okay soon…..

But…. He he…

Two days ago, I came home and found Dahlya nad Jazmyn (my children's cousins) at home. Abang who was playing happily stopped what he was doing and approached me. He hugged me and said, “It’s okay, Mummy… Please don’t be sad , okay ??”

I was very shocked because I wasn’t crying or anything so I thought maybe the sadness was written all over my face. I was very touched by my son’s acute observation and obvious care when I heard he said, “Look Dahlya how I take care of my mother… I am doing a really good job….”

Eii… saja menunjuk ke atau memang you saw me very sad and wanted to comfort me ? 

Takpelah… Mummy bersangka baik dengan Abang kan ?

Hmmm….

Book Review : Being Committed by Anna Maxted

I first became literary acquainted with Miss Maxted when she had a column in one of the glossies in England. I loved her very witty and funny and observant writings. One of her most memorable column was about herself.

Apparently, she is an adopted baby. Her adopted father was walking on the street when a man/lady approached him and offered him the baby she/he was holding. He took the baby, brought her home and named her Anna. Anna wrote how she loved her adoptive parents and was grateful that her father accepted the offer and brought her home to be raised lovingly and unconditionally. She claimed that she is not interested to know her birth parents at all because as far as she was concerned, Mr and Mrs Maxted were her real parents.

Anyway, of course I was excited when I knew that my favourite columnist wrote a book and I wasn’t prepared when I found that I didn’t like it. I was gravely disappointed and therefore had never bought any of her other books and never attempted to re-read it until now.

Surprisingly I love it now. I do not know why I didn’t like it before but my review today would be it is a good read. I was impressed that by the end of the book, I had expected what the character would do because I know her so well. She cleverly maintained all their characteristics that at the end of the day I would go “That is so typical of Hannah/Oli/Jack etc.

The book is about Hannah, P.I, un-girly, emotionally retarded, father adoring and mother hating. She refused to accept her boyfriend Jason’s proposal but went nuts when the week after her rejection, Jason proposed to another girl. So she went over to his house to get him back. However Oli gave her an ultimatun, make peace with Jack, her ex-husband.

O-oh….. Jack…. The love of Hannah’s life. Married too young and was not mature enough to handle their first major problem together. Easiest route is of course the big D. So she had to contact him and in the process of trying to get closure, she was cruelly reminded of the reason why she hated her mother.

Ohh… do read.

My best friends Shazmi and Amelia took me out to lunch yesterday. I love you guys for the support you have given me.

It was a good thing that I went out with them because Amelia told me something that made me feel okay. Even though I am still very much sad because I can’t see my sister anymore, but I feel lega that things are going good for her.

Amelia told me that Shera is so very lucky to have died when the people that love her are still around. Parental love cannot match any other love and Amelia said sampai ke akhir hayat, Shera’s parents will pray for her. She also said since all her friends and siblings are still able and young, we will be continuing the effort to keep up the Fatihahs and Yassins for her. She is indeed lucky.

And I take that to heart Amelia. I cannot be selfish to wanting to keep her here when she is getting so much help for her life in eternity.

What she said is true, really. Actually this is the second tragedy like this that had befallen my family. In 1989, my baby brother Ijat was about 5-6 months old when a phone call came in the middle of the night to inform of the passing of my father’s sister Aunty Nun, her husband Uncle Amin, her son Ayie, her daughter Kak Dedek and Kak Dedek’s husband Abang Zab. 5 of them at once. All in all I think there were 13 deaths in that accident, one of the most horrific the country have ever seen. Only my abang Jimmy is left from that branch of the family.

My Aunty Nun was everybody’s favourite. Like Shera she was the star of the family, the glue that kept us all together, the one that everybody turned to when there is trouble. She was such a superstar. I can still see her toothy smile, her beaming face as everything about her exudes kindness and motherly love. Maybe I am over glamorizing her but you can ask my mother, their relationship was just like what we girls had with our Shera. She was truly a gem.

I was 13 when it happened and Amelia and Ela were the ones consoling me for the loss of a favorite aunt. Anyway, ever since she died, and that was a good 19 years ago, she at least had me to sedekahkan Fatihah to her and her family (and a horde of other relatives and loved ones – including P.Ramlee tu…) every Isyak prayers. So now I have added my kakak to the list. Takpelah. We had always known that this life is only temporary and eternity comes after Judgement Day.

Al-Fatihah.

Dear Shera......

Dear Shera,

Ita told us she wrote you a letter and felt better and so I thought I should do the same because I so desperately wants to feel better again.

I am not going to the whys and the hows because there is no point in that. I just know that Allah SWT had always wanted the good guys to be with Him and therefore I am not surprised that he chose you.

Shera…you have been such a gift to us, with your energy, love and kindness. I truly love you and I miss you so much. Mummy kept saying how empty the week has been and I wholeheartedly agree because I see you almost every week, don’t I ? We either pass each other in and out of Mum’s house or bumping into each other at Giant or whatever or just meeting up (like when we had our rendezvous at the sek 8/sek 9 junction 2 weeks ago), not seeing you at all is a bit surreal.

How have we been holding up ?

Us girls of course tried our best to not cry especially in front of your kids. We pine and wish for you and cry and cry and cry.

Mum… well… She’s confined to her room most of the time. She clutched your wedding pictures and looked lost. We are definitely worried about her, knowing how close you two are. None of us ate by the way and I wish I could show you my flat tummy !!

Ayah was away in Sarawak when you left us. He was in a meeting when Mummy called him and broke down there and then. The person that he was in a meeting with there did not allow Ayah to sleep alone in his hotel and took him to his home and Ayah slept in his guest room. Such kindness.

Ijat couldn’t handle his grieve and ran away to his dorm the day we buried you. He only called to cry and that was it. He came home on Saturday though and played with your babies.

Mail…. We haven’t told him yet. We will break him the news when he returns home next month. We fear his reaction and I do not look forward to it at all. I know he will get angry and start breaking things.

Syafiq…. well… he loves you so much despite everything Shera. He can’t be alone, neither can Mum actually, we have to constantly be at home to make sure they are okay.

Dan is not doing well either. He cried loads and kept calling me to say nothing at all. He can’t work and always wanted to be at Mum’s house for some reason. He sat on Mum’s bed, slept on Mum’s bed (Mummy had to sleep on the mattress on the floor) and just wanted to be with us.

I went to your grave for the first time yesterday. Didn’t do well because I vomited as soon as I got home.

Since our reaction to your passing is as severe as this, I couldn't imagine your parents' grief. We meet up a lot with your family. Luckily we got on very well with them, our two families are just like one huge one. I remember during Esya's birthday party I commented to Dan howmuch I love your family. So open and welcoming... no wonder you are like that.

Tapi kan Shera your first tahlil we did badly. I didn’t know where Mum put all her good plates and the cutleries and we were running around to get thing organized for you. As I was cutting the cupcakes (you would like it…it was delicious), I was expecting you to come and say, “Apa lagi nak buat, La?” and taking over as really it was you who had always run the show. But you didn’t come and I had to finish cutting the cakes alone and ordering the rest of what to do. At the end, I said, “Sorry, Shera. Your kenduri didn’t go so well. I will do better next time…”. Marlin broke down and cry when she heard what I said.

You have never been my sister-in-law but my own kakak. I have always told people how blessed we are to have such person who was willing to be our family… all of us didn’t have a choice…ha ha.

I read your blog and your facebook and saw how much people love you. It was evident enough during your funeral because people spilled out of the house into the street !! There were so many people gathered outside, we had to park our cars at the shop 2 streets away !! I feel that we must have done something right because you belong to us. This wonderful person who is so much loved actually belongs to us.

Will I ever be like I used to be ? I don’t think so because I keep expecting you to turn up. Maybe it is still early days but Shera, I do not want to forget. You cannot be replaced and I wish that I have given you more hugs or show how much I love you. We always thought we had more time, right ? Well we didn’t.

Hati ni merajuk sangat, Shera but I tak tahu dengan siapa. Sayu, sedih… I just can’t describe it. I wish I had done more. I was worried thinking that you left without knowing how much I love you but your parents separately told me you do know. They told me the things that you talked about me and I am just so glad to know that you know how I feel about you. You have such wonderful parents, Shera no wonder you are wonderful yourself.

In fact, as I sit to think about our last conversations, you did tell me how much you love us and I cling to that memory. It was actually that Saturday when Ita came back from Penang, your last weekend when we were laughing and being happy when you said that to me.

Umar told me that I shouldn’t worry. He said that I can still see you in heaven. “Since we get to live in syurga forever kan Mummy… you will get to see Cik Shera forever !!” He said.

Thank you, son. That made Mummy feel better as I have no doubt that Cik Shera memang ahli syurga. Impossible that somebody who is so well loved by many like her not to be in syurga. As I told Marlin, “Bila akhirat nanti, aku jumpa Shera aku nak cubit-cubit dia sebab buat aku sedih macam ni….”

Love you lots, dear sister. Rest in peace.

Lack of new books

I have no book reviews to do because well………….. I malas… he he… Anyway since the economy has gone wonky and expensive, have been re-reading a lot of my books until I realised that I have no more books to re-read. Can’t believe I have finally exhausted my books. What to do but buy a new one…. I just have to, don’t I ?

Well anyway, I read 2 good books in May and June. I was lucky they were good cause can’t afford stupid books nowadays. Well May book was by Lisa Jewell. She is one of my favourite authors so I had a 50% chance that hers won’t stink and it didn’t.

Book Review : 31 Jump Street by Lisa Jewell

This book is about love, about being too nice and about parental responsibility…. Sounds normal but it is not.

Well the guy protagonist ( I have so forgotten the name. It was 2 months ago….. Let’s call him Ralph) is a would be poet who was given a house by his father when the father re-married and upped and left him to relocate to South Africa (they have never been close. His mother was a model and his father just couldn’t get over the fact how a gangly and ugly boy could come out of his wife). It was a huge house and since Ralph’s wife left him soon after he got the house, he was very much alone.

He advertised the rooms for rent but asked the people interested to write a letter and tell him why they deserve to live there. And therefore the house was filled with people with problems and sad stories and waywards who have nowhere to go. There they live quietly for many, many years but he doesn’t really socialize with his tenants.

Everything changed when his older tenant died and left him with a lot of money. It coincided with a letter from his father’s solicitor (everything connecting to his dad was done via this solicitor) expressing his father’s wish to see him. He decided to sell the house to impress his dad… but not before he had every one of his tenants’ lives sorted out before he kicks them out.

It is a good book with a lovely idea. The arrival of his gorgeous neighbour in his life made the book even more interesting because who could bear the thought of the hero ending up alone. He is too nice for the world to be that shitty to him.

I totally recommend this book, another masterpiece by Miss Lisa Jewell.

My June book was

Book Review : Friday’s Knitting Club by I Dunno

Sorry…. It is written by a writer I am not familiar with and therefore have forgotten her name. Anyway… I hated this book at first. It was slow and confusing that I put it away for an Agatha’s Christie’s masterpiece instead.

However the book picked up after a few chapters and became very interesting and lovely. About Georgia who found herself pregnant and very much alone in New York. She called her parents about her predicament and announced her intention to come home. However when Anita, a stranger, found her knitting at a park and approached her, the rest, as people say, is history.

Georgia opened a knitting store, raised her daughter alone and together with Anita who worked for her part time, made friends with her customers and established a Knitting Club.

Although Georgia is the main character, the book talks about each member of the club and how their lives entwined. It is a very good book because after reading I was rather ashamed of myself. Because from that book I learnt that wallowing in a broken heart brings nothing good. Don’t be too involved in your pain that there is no room for forgiveness because life is too short and too precious. It was our Rasullullah SAW had always recommended, forgive and be forgiving.

I should start right now…. Allah is great… He teaches me through every medium available. He he…

Cerita monyet pulak

A friend of mine Sheik commented on my last entry on the porcupines or hedgehogs (dunno the difference). He recounted the story of a monkey that was sharing his neighbourhood and subsequently got shot by Perhilitan.

Of course he pities the monkey, especially thinking about his family waiting in vain for his homecoming. He made a good point by saying that we failed to relocate these creatures before we start our development work.

My mother had a monkey problem too last time. At first they were okay with the monkey and tolerated him. Some even fed him in the name of pity and of course kindness. There is a fish pond in our front garden, just below my mother’s bedroom window with a huge tree nearby where the monkey would jump off from, straight into the pond for his bath. He then would check his appearance from at the side mirror of our cars parked outside. Mummy saw this from her window and she said he would smooth down his hair (?) and pat it neatly into position.

But then of course he caused problems. The food stealing, the throwing of all the clean clothes hanging to dry all over the lawn antics and most of all, his gatal-ness.

He hated any men who came by but loved it if any of us girls dropped by. He would approach us and gave us a grin so huge that I expected wolf-whistles to come with it. After my mother’s repeated phone calls to moan about the monkey, I was somewhat relieved that one day she decided to call Perhilitan.

The first time Perhilitan guy came, he legged it. That guy waited for hours for him but he never returned. When he did return, he was very much upset and showed it to the neighbourhood by baring his teeth.

I was at home when the second guy came. I was about to leg it too when I saw him, totting his gun when he shouted that he came from Perhilitan and came for the monkey. Whew !!

He finally got him when the monkey entered our home to inspect and I very much suspect, mengorat my sister Marlin who was home for the holidays. My dad shut him in the room and Perhilitan caught him without the help of their big weapon.

Perhilitan gave the assurance that they were gonna send the monkey to the zoo. As if !! Why can’t he just say that they were sending him to a monkey farm where he will eat bananas everyday and frolic with his species until eternity ? My relieve turn to pity then guilt. Kesian dia. I am sure he came from Bukit Cherakah. Maybe he was lured by the limelights (he he) or had a taste of the food that we have to offer and was then hooked line and sinker with our lifestyle. He once stole a neighbour’s handphone and my mom saw him sitting on her chair at her desk looking at her papers. We corrupted him thenbranded him a nuisance.

It would have been lovely and more humane if he was sent to some kind of sanctuary for displaced animals. Especially here in the Klang Valley where development is rife and we keep robbing their habitat to make our own. There should be a hutan simpan somewhere, with loads of fruit trees and a nice stream or two to house all these animals, where they can live within the city and we can take advantage of it by being able to see them in their natural habitat if we want.

In truth, we are not that much different from the Zionists who drove the people of Palestine out of their land.

Don’t be too greedy, kemut sangat dengan something that we have to share with all Allah’s creatures. Karang alien datang duduk tempat kita and lepas tu senang2 tembak kita (reference: War of The Worlds, Independence Day etc) we can take it as balasan tuhan ke atas apa yang kita buat to the animals. Lepas tu jangan terkejut jadi macam Planet of The Apes (or Porcupines) !!

Okay… maybe that is a bit too extreme…

PS : It’s very funny really, I am writing this at my other office in Glenmarie and here I actually have a window. We are on the 3rd floor and I heard footsteps outside. I looked and this bird was walking along the windowsill and it was its footsteps I heard…. Comelnya….

Landak 3 ekor

Yesterday Umar went out with his Abah to tapau food for his Atuk.

When they got home, I was bathing and in come Umar into the bathroom. Luckily the shower’s frosted glass door was closed ( Umar saw me in a state of undress last week and it induced a “Mum !! I saw your pusat !! Oh, the horror !!” scream from him).

“Mummy ! Listen to me !!”

“Iya… what is it ?”

“I saw 3 porcupines tadi !!” Said he eagerly.

“Really ?” I was excited too. I saw those 3 porcupines like last year and I was so pleasantly surprised and was so awed by their beauty.

“Yes … Their eyes were yellow and big !! Like flashlights !!” Had the same impression last time. Maybe due to the car headlights or whatever you call it.

“There were 3 kan. Dia dengan Mummy dia and adik dia…” Okay.. Mummy, U-um and Titi then.

Then he looked wistful, almost sad.

“I think they were looking for shelter lah Mummy. Sebab kan dekat tong sampah besar tu (at the Police Contingent car park) dah penuh dengan monkeys and cats. So they have to find somewhere else for shelter…”

His eyes were huge with worry.

“I saw their spikes, Mummy…. I think they are looking for shelter….” He said again.

Baru nak tanya what he wants for them, Babah masuk with “ Oii… Umar dah cerita ? Landak tu ada balik !! Polis-polis pun berhenti tengok !!” My husband was soooo thrilled… Kena layan dia punya excitement pulak.

Me… I macam Umar actually. When they were out of my sight, I was really worried. Where is their home ? Where are they going ? Do they have food ? It is quite undignified for a fabulous, elegant creature like that to forage for food (and seek shelter) at the smelly dustbin isn’t it ?

Sudahlah. Please stop all this felling of the trees (read:destroying wild creatures natural habitat) for development kat kawasan kontinjen polis tu. Kesian lah binatang2 ni….

I also love the trees !!

That reminds me of…

Well… this incident happened quite recently. For the past 6-7 months, whenever I see a red or rather maroonish Kancil, I will remember the day Mr. Phang, my his-bark-is-worse-than-his-bite high school Maths teacher, almost killed me.

I know, I know… shocking ain’t it ? Well here goes,

I was driving happily (actually I am sure it is moodily or tiredly because I hate driving) from work. I was driving up the hill to the house when suddenly a maroonish kancil from the junction on the left (coming from Sek 8) swerved a hard right, into my lane and coming on to me fast.

I honked the car and saw the driver. He was distracted and was looking elsewhere. When I honked he looked at me, raised his hand in apology with a smile (he didn’t look taken aback at all) and veered of to the susur keluar lane on my left, very unsteadily I might add, instead of going into the lane on my right… which was the errmm….. right lane.… at the very last minute. He was still on the wrong lane and he is still not out of danger.

I gawped at him, very much shocked at his audacity and stupidity when I recognized Mr Phang. Mr Phang ? Biar benar !! He could’ve seriously injured me !! My teacher who taught me statistics and what nots could have given me angry purple bruises or even a broken bone or two!! He could've ceacked my windshield and damage my engine and cost me money !! Money that I have to save to pay for petrol !! Arrgghhhh !!!

I looked at the junction where he just exited and saw the occupants of the other cars’ shell-shocked face. Everybody’s mouth was in a neat ‘O’.

Can you imagine the tajuk berita ? Seorang guru terlibat dengan kemalangan dengan anak muridnya dulu-dulu yang sudah tua…. blah, blah, blah…

So that is why, because it is very much a new memory, I would inadvertently think about Mr Phang and that narrowly missed accident (and his ill-advised permed hair when I was in form 4) when I see a maroonish Kancil on the road.

Huh !!

My mother's kari kuting

Kenapa aku masak tak sedap macam mak aku masak ? Why ? Why ? Why ?

I cooked kari kuting for Saturday lunch and although it was nice in its own right (chewah), but it not near as lovely as my mom’s. If my mother made it, the kuah would be so lovely, we could eat it on it's own...hirup santan... he he....

Sunday dinner I made mee bandung. My kids slurped and slurped and had seconds and my mom-in-law polished her bowl, but I know if my mom made it, my kids will have a third helping and so will Dan’s mom. I am sure I will re-fill my bowl 5 times, at least.

She taught me how to cook so I know I didn’t do anything wrong, well… basically lah. What didn’t I put enough ? The tomato sauce ? The kuting ? Should I rebus the daging longer ? Would it make a difference if add in the ketchup towards the end ?

The last time my mom made mee bandung was about 3 weeks ago. We ate greedily and Shera shouted between mouthfuls to my mother who was cutting fruits in the kitchen, “Sedaplah, Mi !” repeatedly.

Let’s not talk about her cok udang lah… I mean.. it is just simple ain’t it ? But why is hers so crispy and light and anggun to the tongue ? Why ? Why ? Why ? Ijat’s friends once even asked my mom to bungkus some for him to take back to college. He he…. Sebelum dia datang pun he would ask if Mummy would be cooking….

Kalau mummy masak, all of us would go to her house in droves. Some would tapau and some would just eat there…Telur goreng pun cantik. The edges brown and crispy and the yolk not too runny but definitely not firm either ( she knows if the yolk is firm, we would only eat the whites. She would find yellow eggs as leftovers ). Kadang-kadang bila aku ke atau adik2 aku ke yang goreng telur (even ikan bilis), my dad would take one look at it and said, "Ini mesti Ala yang goreng ni...." Cess !!!

Dulu my friend Shazleen selalu datang rumah and one day after eating my mother's chicken congee she whispered, "Your Mummy masak apa pun sedap kan ?" I know !!

Jadi kenapa aku masak tak jadi ? Kenapa ? Kenapa ? Kenapa ?

Camana nak buat ni ?

Cerita pukul 2 pagi

I am fasting today… Because this is only my second day, I need to bangun for soq. Dah lama sikit karang I can do without pre-Subuh eating. Am hungry by the way, if you wanna know.

Anyway, things were just dandy when I got down to fix my plate, at 2 am. Scoop up the nasi (which my mom-in-law cooked for me when she heard I would be waking up for sahur… Thanks, Mak), offload the kari kuting from the tupperware. Now the soup su-un.. be careful don’t put too much soup nanti tumpah. Then in the plate go in the microwave. Blitz for 3 mins.

While waiting, fix beverage. Sirap… yummm…. He he… batal posa.

Anyway, when I returned to the microwave, there was 1 minute left so I hovered near it. And in that 1 measly minute, my mind managed to wander of to the unpleasant, very spooky story I heard from my sis-in-law. I managed to imagine it, get even more spooked by the second and when the microwave gave a PING!, snatched my plate and legged it upstairs.

Hmm…. Macam budak-budak.

Ceritanya begini… Abang Kamal is working at a certain tower (have to protect the said tower’s reputation), at Level 20. Last Friday, the very big conglomerate who owns the premise organized a tahlil to rid the building of e-ek (hantu le). Wargghhh !!

According to abang Kamal, the building is rather haunted. He himself would always bump into a small boy waiting to enter the lift whenever he arrived at the basement after a late night at his desk. Sometimes the little person (I forgot to ask gender because after Ju-On, I always assume a boy) would be accompanied by a lady.

Once, when he was alone on the entire floor and was in his room, he heard a furious rustling of papers and when he went to investigate, found he is very much alone but a lone paper that was gradually falling from a height and rested on the floor. Yikes !! My goosebumps have made an appearance again.

But what made them seek help last week, to rid the office of unholy presence was rather…. terrible. There were 3 ladies burning the midnight oil at the office when one, let’s call her Kak Anis, went to the surau to pray. Kak Anis said while she was praying she heard people shouting her name, but it was so faint, she ignored it. When she opened the door to the surau after she was done, she saw her 2 colleagues were shaking and looked like their blood have been drained from them. They were white, with fear.

They told her that while she was praying, a lady floated past them… not once, not twice but numerous times. Being girls they screamed (am very sure non-girls would scream too) and screamed and screamed. He he…

So aku yang terpengaruh pun mencanak-canak naik atas, tak perasan pinggan tu panas bila ter-imagine ropanya. Eiii !!!

Book Review : Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ by Sue Townsend

I have seen this book on the shelves of the countless bookstores I went to. I have taken them down, read the synopsis at the back of the cover, put them back and picked another book instead. I have even bought 3 other titles by the same author but somehow I never picked this one up. What a fool I was because when I finally had the courage to do so, I was mesmerised by it. The book was really good. It was funny. And funny is very important.

It gave me an insight of the mind of a 13 year old (oh, yeah and ¾) which I should say seemed familiar (oii…! It was only 19 years ago for me okay… Man…. 19 years ago doesn’t sound recent does it ? Maybe a miscalculation… 32… minus 13…. Calculator !! God !! Who am I kidding ? It was a long time ago … What was I doing when I was 13 ?).

Anyway, for a 13 year old male, Adrian is quite a disciplined journal writer. He poured his heart out on the angst of being a teenager, like zit (he obsessively checks his face in the mirror and wanting to eat good food to promote good skin…) and girlfriend (Pandora but sometimes people call her Box, which Adrian finds funny and I find totally hilarious).

He also wrote about his mother’s meetings with their next door neighbour, never realizing that his mother was having an affair with him until it was too late. He also talked about his father and grandma and the senior citizen he helps in a Help the Aged program. He actually recommended quite a few good books actually, interesting books that he read in his attempt to be an intellectual. Expect a very observant, cynical, compassionate and bright young lad, surviving life.

It is a wonderful book, cleverly written, making me think that Ms Townsend was actually 13 when she wrote this. There is more to Adrian. His diary didn’t stop at 14. In fact there are about 3 more of his diaries being sold at bookstores.

But alas, I shopped for this month ration at MPH Shah Alam, which is rather small. That means they didn't stock up on any of Ms Townsend's books (I really should sit on MPH advisory committee or something like it). I might have to go for another shopping trip next week if my literary purchases were bad choices.

Read it.

PS : Nuyui, I wonder if you ever take up any of my recommendations ? Just wondering…. because I could see we have the same taste in books…

That reminds me of….

You cannot live your life without memories. If you have no memories I will assume that you have been living your life stoned. Either with alcohol or drugs, it doesn’t matter… you were stoned during the course of your life if you have no memories. Well of course this theory doesn't apply if you sufferes from amnesia or drugged due to illness or something like that...well... you know what I mean.

I am sure everybody is like me. Certain things will evoke certain memories. Be it by smell, by touch or mostly by sight, some things can trigger memories.

Sometimes when I see a deodorant, especially blue Rexona ones, I will inadvertently think about Abe. He he….

For as long as I could remember, I have been very conscious about my B.O (body odour). Mummy selalu pesan to tempek our ketiak with bedak ketiak… he he…. Malu je kalau orang bau ketiak masam…. Said my mother. Dulu-dulu we used the ones dalam peket warna putih and ada gambar orang angkat ketiak dia kat depan….

Jenuh le aku dok menempek my own armpits with deodorants that promises sweet smelling experience for myself and people surrounding me….ha ha.

Come high school, I kept a bottle of blue Rexona inside my bag for emergencies (I still have an emergency bottle in my drawer at my office). The powdered ones are hard to keep because it kept spilling in my bag so I switched to Rexona for bag devoid of powdery substance experience.

One day, during form 1 when our school was terrorized by the ketua pengawas, I entered my class to receive news that the prefects did a spot check in our class. Fine. As I walked to my place, Abe intercepted me.

“Myra. Kak Asni ambik barang ko lah….” Said he, face all serious.

That didn’t sound too good. My heart quickened.

“Ambik apa ?”

“Alah… dia ambik benda tu….” Said he.

“Benda apa, Be ?” I asked again. His reluctance to mention what was taken from me made me more scared.

“Alah…. Dia ambik barang ketiak ko….” Said he, still serious. What made it terrible was (apart from he is a boy) that he raised his arm and showed how it was done… the applying of the Rexona to the armpit, that is. I immediately could feel my face heated up and I know my face had turned red.

“Itu pun nak ambik ke ?” I hid my shame behind anger.

“Itulah… aku pun tak tahu….” Said the very helpful Abe.

I said my thanks and valiantly tried to appear nonchalant.

Sebab itulah kadng-kadang bila aku nampak deodorant, especially yang brand Rexona and colour biru… aku ternampak si Abe dengan mukanya yang serious itu…

He he…

Movie Review : Speed Racer and Iron Man

Spectacular ! Speed Racer is a fun movie. I was thoroughly entertained even though I did came out of the wayang a bit dizzy because of the high speed racing and the cars going round and round. You won’t feel sleepy watching this movie because of the bright colours. I mean really vivid colours as the sceneries were all computer graphics. Bright blue skies, dizzyingly white puffy clouds, too pink and too yellow flowers… well.. you get my meaning. Therefore the chances of the movie inducing epileptic seizures is there, I think. You have been warned..

Susan Sarandon and that guy from Rosanne were really good and so was that cute doctor from Lost … although you can’t really judge because he wore a mask 90% of the time. Christina Ricci was okay too although her playing a sweet girl needs some getting used too. Apparently I haven’t seen much of her other movies because I keep seeing her as the morbid Wednesday Addams.

That Japanese/Korean/Chinese (he looked like that fella Rain… but I don’t know) was really good. His anger and his shock when Mach 5 entered the Grand Prix (some Grand Prix.. Michael Schumacher wouldn’t set his pedals on that circuit) looked well placed and well timed. And I so love the monkey…

Some review I make since I only know the name of 2 of the actors…

The theme is good. Something that you could watch with your kiddies and explain about cheating and fixing sports results and such. It is also about family sticking together, and fathers’ holding grudges (this is good to discuss with your spouses.. something you can say to him/her if ever your unfortunate turn comes.."Ingat dak cerita Speed Racer kita tengok dulu-dulu tuh ? Bapak dia kata kalau tak ikut cakap dia jangan balik lagi… haa…. Lepas tu anak tu tak balik terus… Ndak jadi macam tu ?…"). So you know.. it is good… he he…

My son thoroughly enjoys it. He was gripping his seat when the races were on and was shouting encoragement to the Mach 5. So, good yeah...

Iron Man is also a good movie even though I feel that Robert Downey Jr doesn’t make a convincing Iron Man/Stark. I dunno… I expected more from him I suppose. Maybe because he doesn’t look the part. Maybe the too blasé attitude ? I just didn’t feel that he was really into playing the part. Dan said Iron Man is like that.. you know very nonchalant, looks bored 24/7… well okaylah I suppose.

Jeff Bridges playing a villain is something that I need to get used to but he was excellent. Gwyneth… well… Okay maybe as a whole the movie is good but… if you scrutinize it, things just don’t gel.

Put it like this lah… I watched it the first time with my family and it was good (although I was already not really convinced with Robert Downey Jr then) but when I watched it for the second time with a colleague, I was watching it critically. Don’t get me wrong, the fighting scenes and the gadgets and the whatnots that make a good action movie is there… but something was missing…..

If you are a comic fan or somebody who loves the idea of superheroes, watch it. But if you want a truly great movie, well…..

But whatever it is, the war scene looked too real for comfort. The scene where they were ambushed and the soldiers died one by one, with explosions and gunfires aplenty was rather scary. Come on America, bring your boys and girls home. Vote for Obama and you can have your young uns back. Nobody likes to be invaded. Nobody….

My mother's cooking

Some weekends, like last weekend, I thought about my mother’s weekend mamak fare. Dulu – dulu, when I was a wee lass my mummy would open her Indian kitchen. Out came the flat pan and we would be whopping in delight.

Roti canai today, murtabak next week and my favourite puris the week after. Let’s not forget her delectable chapattis… Yummm… And her curries… wow… for a Perakian, her curries are really good (especially kari kuting – kuting is udang as per Umar’s dictionary).

Her murtabak mostly contained ground beef instead of onions as per those being sold at mamak restaurants. We could only stomach her red onion chutney as we would always throw those that came with store bought murtabaks.

Her puries ? Soft and crispy at the same time, small and inflated in the middle, just the way I like it. It is hard to find puris on sale here in Malaysia. I could only find them when I attend Indian’s kenduris really and nowhere else. Oh… well… I am quite able making them on my own but it is not the same as my mum’s. In fact, nothing I make could taste like hers…. Why ?

So last weekend, while my children were eating roti canai at Cili Merah, and while I tucked in my assortment of kuihs, I missed my mother’s Indian kitchen and its gastronomical delight.

Hmmm………..

Eeeeuuuuueeewwwwww !!

Oh Tuhan ! Dan and I were attacked yesterday. Well not really Dan.. but me !! I was the one who was actually attacked. Dan was spared 70% of the horror while I experienced it all.

Ya Rabbi !! Tension den.

I was sleeping in the wee hours of this morning, and strangely was dreaming of Jon Favreu ( he is a good actor (and director) and all but he is no hunk. Am wondering about that actually ) when I felt something licked me. It felt cold and was without a doubt a lick that I jumped up. I literally jumped and yelled “Oi !!” and in that process woke my husband up.

“What ?”

“Dan ! Something licked me !” I scanned the bed looking for the culprit, wishing and wishing that it was not a ..*gulp* snake. Dan didn’t bother to get up but he did say, “Itule… you tadi pecahkan remote ….”. What does that got to do with something licking me is beyond me. My heart was beating really fast because it was really weird. I didn't buy Dan's "It was just a dream" crap because I was dreaming about Mr. Favreu and the bloody cold lick was all too real.

I scooted to Dan’s side and tried to sleep. As I was willing my self to slumberland I heard a sound. It sounded like something fell on the floor. I jumped again and alerted my husband. He went to look around the house but found nothing. Since he was awake already, he switched on the light and the telly and that was when I saw it. Two strips of black thingy that looked so horrible and disgusting.

“Dan look !! I told you there was something and there it is. What is it ?”

“Myra you pegi mana ? That is lintah !!”

Lintah ? Immediately my hair stood on its end.

“Are you sure ? Why are they dead ?”

“Itu bukan mati tu. Dia org kenyang.”

I whipped off my clothes and started checking my whole entire body. I was panicky and almost in tears. I felt weird. Repulsed mix with wonder mix with dread mix with 1001 emotions, each one more negative than before.

“But where did they feed ? There is no blood anywhere !!”

Dan took some wipes to throw the …. can I say carcass ?… out. We changed the sheet because of the slime (yuck !!) and went to bed once more. I couldn’t sleep because the situation was just too horrific and incredible.

I kept asking why they were there and whence they came from. Their presence is so illogical that I couldn’t even think properly while I tried to soothe the awfulness that I was feeling. I just had too many unanswered questions and my mind was busy that I couldn’t sleep. Dan kept repeating this is the balasan of orang yang pecahkan his sacred Astro remote control when we heard another bump in the night. I said we because I could feel his eyes flicked open when the sound came.

“You hear that ?”

“It is not outside, it is in the room !!”

I leaped out of the bed and switched on the light. I stood on the doorway and waited for God knows what. I then decided to look into my children to make sure they are okay. From where I was standing I could see our room when my eyes caught the sight of a huge mouse came out from underneath our bed, ran out of our room, shot past the kiddies’ room before disappearing from view.

I was hysterical. I dived on the bed and jumped up and down… ( wow !! The cartoons are not all fictional after all ). I was shouting in no particular order “Dan !! Tikus !! Tikus !! Dan !! Help !!”

My husband ran into the room and jumped on the bed with me. I looked at him incredulously. He looked like he was coming to rescue me from Mighty Mouse but as he jumped on the bed and bounced up and down with me I was confused. Then confusion turned into disbelief.

“What are you doing ? Dan ! What are you doing ? Oh my God Rashdan !! What are you doing ?” I kept shouting at him as we bounced up and down on the kids’ bed. My Superman-William Wallace-Indiana Jones-Hans Solo-James Bond of a husband clutched my hands. Luckily Elsa slept on Umar’s bed or she would have woken up and join in the melee too.

“You should save me !! What are you doing ?”

“I geli ! I hate rats !” Was his answer and we stopped bouncing. He grinned at me and I just looked at him. What can you do but laugh because the situation was ridiculous. It was 4 am, damn it !

When we returned to our room I stupidly asked the connection between the lintah and the tikus. Dan said, “Ermm…I think it makes more sense to say that they were not lintah but poop.”

I blinked and blinked and blinked while I looked at him stupidly.

“He licked me while he pooped ?”

And Dan convulsed into laughter.

“Ini pengajaran untuk you. Semua nak kena bersih. Ini tak boleh itu tak boleh, kotor sikit tak nak makan… Ha… Tuhan dah bagi you something yang paling kotor. Dia bagi you Jerry !!….Haa….” and he emulated how the stupid tikus pooped while licking me.

He looked so ridiculous I forgot to defend myself. Then he added, “And because you pecahkan remote I..”

I vowed to pecahkan the next one he buys too…

Hmmm………… and eee….. geli…. Uwekkk !!

Movie Review : Forbidden Kingdom

Feels like we have been doing nothing but sit ourselves in the cinema lately. So many delicious movies to watch… so little time.

Forbidden Kingdom is truly a delight. I, who have been a huge Jackie Chan fan (his Chinese movies only, I do not really like his English movies for some reason) was delighted to see him as the Drunken Master again (although not Wong Fei Hung).

Although I could only remember 2 of Jet Li’s movies, Bodyguard From China and My Father the Hero, I rather like him in Romeo Must Die and although I do not remember any of his signature moves was equally thrilled with his agility and his kung-fu prowess.

The Forbidden Kingdom tells the tale of the Immortal Monkey King who was turned into stone by the evil (and definitely penuh dengki) Jade Warlord (my son kept saying Gay Warlord). Before he turned completely into stone, he sent his staff (bukan pekerja tapi kayu… well not exactly kayu le sebab the kayu is made of gold… alahai.. weapon le) away to an unknown place.

Enter this mat salleh guy who is crazy bout Chinese movies. Bruce Lee and the lot was his movie genre of choice and got his fix stocked up from a Chinese antiquity shop. He saw a gold staff (maybe it is spelt with one f… I dunno) and the geriatric shopkeeper told him that his family, starting from his grandfather, had been waiting for the owner to claim it.

Then biasalah, he is actually being bullied (there is a bit of Karate Kid scene here, only missing is the evil sensei) and the bullies forced him to help them gain entry to the Chinese Antique Shop. To make the story short, the poor shopkeeper got shot, then the old guy gave this guy the staff and told him to find the owner (I think) and to leg it.

He did and somewhere along the way was transported into time. The Jade Warlord was still in power and was looking for the Immortal Monkey King’s staff. Ha !

It is a very fun movie. So much fun that Umar and Elsa did not sleep in the cinema even though it was way past their bedtime.

Jet Li was wonderful as the cheeky and playful Monkey King and Jackie Chan was faultless as the drunk… ha ha.. Their fight scene was excellent, the director cleverly decided to show that none were better than the other to maintain each one’s ego…

Ha…. Tengoklah… It is worth your RM 11 plus your kids RM 11 because for some reason there is no discounted price for the little ones.

Sebab asam tak sedap aku kena beli mesin buat mee...

I am like my mother after all.

Mummy is forever grumbling about how food doesn’t taste the same anymore. Whenever we ate asam, Mum would pinch a taste and moan how “Asam dulu lagi sedap. Sekarang punya tastes of chemicals !!” We used to roll our eyes and agreed she must be crazy because the asam rolling in our mouths tastes like heaven… He he….

Nowadays when I do indulge (whenever Dan is not around. He usually uses his body as a shield whenever we passes by asam or jeruk shops/aisle/counter – ooo…. I love the jeruk stall yang berlambak-lambak sekarang ni. Word of advice, kat Shah Alam Mall punya sedap. SACC punya jangan bau pun !!), I increasingly finds myself repeating her words. The asam on sale nowadays do not taste as good as the ones I ate during my school days !! They taste more of chemicals than anything.

So now I wonder… how good are good are the assams my mother used to gonyeh as a child ? Emmm…….

Breads also do not taste as good nowadays. Well first of all I think is due the declining number of Mamak roti on wheels. None passes my mom’s street anymore and none ever passes my in-laws. I haven’ t bought roti manis for a long, long time. My favourite was the triangular shaped, with sugar on top and raisins (kismis kata orang Melayu) inside. I still dream of their decadent flavour and how good they taste when dipped in coffee (since we aren’t allowed coffee, I used to steal my mom’s whenever she leaves it around the dining area. Typically early morning or afternoon when she makes us tea… Tea is okay with the roti but coffee is marvelous… Yummmm).

So apparently those breads are only sold by the mamaks on wheel. Those sold by premises that remained stationary only sell stupid breads from Yucksville. I dunno. Nothing beats bread from Ismailia in Penang, though. They maybe have ISO accreditation because the bread tastes the same as before...way before. The texture, the smell heck even the shop reminds me of my days with my cousins and my tok wan. Hmm….

What else, yeah ? Pisang goreng. Heard that pisang goreng is dangerous to eat nowadays. The added crispiness is due to cancer causing plastics bottles that they melt inside the hot oil. Only buy from your usual seller, I think. Somebody that you can actually ask, “Pakcik masukkan botol plastic ka dalam minyak tuh ?” and get a sincere answer. In fact, I nowadays I am struggling to remember to ask my waiters to ‘hold the bawang goreng’ because evil people use the same method to retain crispiness of the fried onions.

Even mee kuning would sometimes leave an aftertaste in your mouth. “Banyak sangat ubat dalam mee ni..” I once heard my friend say. Isn’t that dangerous ? But no fear !! A friend of mine recently told me of this wonderful pasta maker that can actually churn out mee kuning !! He he…. I wanna try that. Ermm…. Anybody interested to see the demo of this wonderful machine ?Call me … The supplier will only come to do the demo if I have 10 or more people.

Movie Review : Definitely, Maybe

As much as I hate sounding like a parrot, I still have to say it because it is true. This movie is really sweet. Hai…..

It is about this girl ( I have forgotten her name ) whose parents were divorcing. That day when her father picked her up from school, the uproar of the day’s sex education, sparked her interest about her father’s love life (in the process she found out her father smoked and is actually a slut).

The father agreed but decided to do it in love mystery format where he will change all the names of his past love interests. She has to figure out which one is her mother.

So that was what he did, narrated his love story, which was pretty dramatic because it involved a lot of cheatings and a betrayal thrown into it. The movie is really funny.

But the of course there is the but… You just can’t help but wonder what good memory the father has because he remembers every detail. Watch it and you will know what I mean. Also, the girl is really mature for her age. Mature because she really wants her father to be happy and urged him to find the only girl in his story whose name he didn’t change. I was thinking how disloyal could you be to your momma ? But then maybe that was just me…

Coincidentally the movie matched the theme of our conversation that day. We had lunch with Shazmi and he asked us how do we keep things interesting after 15 years of togetherness. Dan immediately launched into a very Fadhillah Kamsah’s speech. Me ? I sat there wondering like Shazmi.

We celebrated our 15th anniversary last week and I still do not know what is the recipe to keep us together for a further 15 years and beyond. How do I keep it exciting ? I dunno. DO you know ? Watching the movie with its divorce theme made me really wonder. Is it luck ? Or love ? Or laziness… you know you just can’t be bothered to start again and better the devil you know than the devil you don’t kind of thinking.

Divorces are sad. For all involved. If Dan and I ever go that way, we wouldn’t just be dividing children, but friends too. “Okay, I get Shah this week and you get Anu..” or something in that manner.

So don’t ever go that road ? But surely if you are suffering ( and I am not talking about sufferings due to your love for another. If you do love someone else, sacrifice your love okay and stick to your family. That is more noble ) it is better for you to leave, especially if you are married to somebody who abuses you ?

But in the movie it didn’t look like anybody was abused. Maybe they had irreconcilable difference, the trendiest reason nowadays.

Hmm…. I dunno…

Book Review : Queen Camilla by Sue Townsend

A hilarious book, dear friends. I was glued to the book, so intrigued and engrossed was I with the book that I had to check repeatedly if the English monarchy is still there, not holed up in a guarded housing area for criminals.

This book is actually the sequel to Queen and I. It is about the life of the Queen and her family (especially Charles) when the Republican won the election and overthrew the monarchy. The Republican Prime Minister, Jack, did not only do that but he installed Vulcan, a satellite spying program to chart all British citizen’s movements and implement crazy laws like banning stepladders and limiting 1 dog per household (an outrage since we are talking about England). The people are tired of all the stupid laws and out came Boy English, the new leader for Tory and promised to bring the monarchy (and common sense) back to England.

But the problem is, the Queen's plans to abdicate. Then Camilla and Charles’ ugly and a complete dickhead illegitimate son surfaced that threatens their comeback.

The book is great, depicting the Queen’s troubles and her troubled family. How Harry became a hooligan and William working as a scaffolder. How Sophie Wessex was hysterical because her daughter Sophie is becoming the estate’s slapper and all…

He he….. Good read.

Movie Review : 27 Dresses

This movie is so cute. About a girl who loves wedding ever since she was 9. She loves weddings so much so that she helped to plan 27 of her friend’s wedding and be their bridesmaid, hence the 27 ugly bridesmaid dresses ( they are really ugly… I can only honestly say the only nice one is the saree she wore to an Indian and Jewish wedding ).

During the 26th wedding, a journalist for a wedding column, the delicious, cyclopy James Marsden saw her changing clothes in a cab to go to a second wedding ( her 27th - she actually had to hop between the 2 weddings the whole night… very funny scenes ) and wondered what her deal was. He found out and decided to write about her instead, the girl who is addicted to weddings.

Anyhoo… in the process they fell in love and then of course there is a fighting scene which threatens to break it all and the ridiculous embarrassing thing that they have to do to win the love back… blah, blah, blah.. and well…. you could figure out the rest..

The movie is very predictable sure, but it is still nice anyway. It is sort of like the Wedding Planner, with loads of delicious bouquets and bridal gowns and other delicious wedding paraphernalia, but it has it’s own storyline and twists and turns. Well, she was in love with her boss who in turn fell in love with her awful sister and had to organize their wedding !! Ouch !

James Marsden and Ed Burns were good. Katherine Heigl… well I am not really convinced yet…..maybe because I am used to her Izzy alter ego. The actress who played her sister was totally rubbish but her best friend was superb.

Although the movie did not make us feel the way we felt after we watched Notting Hill… it is still worth to watch.

PS : Watching this movie, it had me thinking how forgiving these mat sallehs are. If it happened to me, I wouldn’t be speaking to my sister for a loooong time. Well maybe after I scratched her face and tore her hair for the 10th time…