Monday, May 28, 2012

Just like Raya

It felt like Hari Raya last weekend.

Late afternoon CY called ajak buat Cakoi as apparently it is better to knead the batter using breadmaker. When I arrived home, the house was awash with light. From the outside I could see MI at the dining table with Adik, my BIL Hazri (not real name eh…) holding his son, Nabil and Abang hanging next to him.

My sister CY was already in the kitchen, margarine out and there were spilt flour on the table. Heaven. We talked and we ate and we made merry and when they went home at almost midnight, I felt so bereaved, so lonely.

Saturday we were geared to take FIL out again but alas he was too weak to even get out of bed. So after breakfast we went to visit him and I watched while Kamil lovingly gave his father a massage. He coaxed his father to eat and administered his meds while I sat there doing nothing, making small talks and playing Sudoku on my mobile. Nothing can make you feel more insignificant that that. Haha.

We didn’t have any lunch as our breakfast was quite late, so right after Maghrib we went to Citta Mall for a dose oh burgers at Chillies before scrambling to Subang Parade to watch MIB 3. MIB 3 is okay. It was funny and all but I wasn’t that entertained. Something felt missing. The same feeling I had when I watched err….the one with Johnny Depp became a vampire. It was okay, not bad neither it was exhilarating.

As usual Adik fell asleep. It was better this time because she could manage half the movie. Itu pun because she nodded off while waiting for the bill at Chillies and in the car on the way to Subang Parade. And of course we have to hear her grumblings of why we always pick a movie way passed her bed time and all.

We woke up early as usual on Sunday but this time, after Subuh we kitted ourselves in our kenduri best, picked up CY and her family at 7am, then swung by CT’s house for her before starting our merry way to Ipoh. My cousin’s engagement do.

Food and family and merriment all over again. That was why I felt like it was Raya.

Nice….

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Yang tergolek di Genting Highland

I have so many things to write but as usual tak tertulis. Sometimes I was burning with ideas to blog about and then suddenly everything is gone. So fickle, the strength of my memory.

Anyway.. I could write about something that happened last weekend, though. Nothing remarkable really, but something worth mentioning. Saturday is a flurry of classes as usual. Keluar masuk numerous times. On Sunday the kids had a break from their tennis class due to cancellation so we decided to jog instead. As soon as we rest our bums in the car, the phone rang and MIL requested for a jalan-jalan trip.

We didn’t manage to grocery shop the day before because FIL invited us out for breakfast, so we had a quick morning meal, then the market then quick bathe and change and off to the ILs who were already waiting.

Destination, Genting Highlands. Hehehhehe….

The drive was slow on account to FIL’s ill health so I was half in slumber land when we ascended. Half because I was still aware of the happenings outside while enjoying the shut-eye…

Not long after we climbed up, I heard the furious roars of superbikes (easily discernible from roars of kapchais… I do not need to open my eyes to confirm that), followed by the ILs and Kamil talking loudly then their yells of surprise and for that, I had to open my eyes.

I was greeted by the sight of a tergolek-ed yellow big bike and its equally tergolek-ed rider. He was pinned beneath his bike but luckily was already at the edge of the winding road. I ordered Kamil to stop (he might not stop because his parents were inside the car. He would have if they weren’t) and both of us ran to him.

As we ran, he got up and walked to the road divider with a wobble and sat on top of it. He was lucky because he fell right at a corner with cars swerving by but still managed to remain unscathed. It took a while for Kamil and me to cross the street to get to him, though.

When we got near I looked at the bike.. it was scratched and dented beyond believe and I couldn’t help but think that if that was Kamil’s bike, he would have been spitting mad. I would have been greeted by the sight of him dancing furiously for all to see, anger usurping whatever pain he was feeling. Hehhehe.

Then I looked at the err….casualty and exhaled. I, my dearest, dearest friends was greeted with the sight of the most beautiful Melayu man I have ever seen. Okay… maybe that came with a lot of exaggerations but… he is beautiful indeed. Even with blood dripping from his nose and mouth I couldn’t help but took a little time (teensiest… I promise) to step back and admire what Allah had created.

When I came to, I quickly looked around for tissues (supposedly for the blood, but really the blood got in the way and I want to get a better look at him) but nada. Alas, I did not plan my rescue mission well and the box of tissue was still in the car. As I said he fell at a curvy corner and I dare not cross the road to get it. Pretty face or not, I do value my life.

Anyway, we asked if he was okay and when a few other superbikers passed by we flagged them down. 2-3 of his friends stopped and they had the good sense to lift his bike up. Before they do that though, each took off their full-faced helmets and I eagerly … well you know, looked and ….was disappointed. Hehheheheh….. Manalah tahu abang ke adik dia ke…. But dissapointingly no...

Anyway, we offered to take him in the car which he politely refused and when we were satisfied he is well taken care of, we bid our goodbye. He looked at me, one thumb up coupled with a very manly nod as a thank you and I was lucky I didn’t swoon.

Damn…

Okay, I must admit that in between our are you okays and explaining his situation to his friends and looking for tissues to wipe the blood off, my head was whirring with ways and hows to get his number.

Not for me obviously. Hello ! I have quite a few unmarried friends that could really use a good looking, hunky guy who exudes manliness to the top most degree. And I could happily watch from the sideline, enjoying what Allah has created.....err.. while sitting beside another of Allah’s creation that exudes manliness and what not …

Yeah… you know I had to say that……

So… I hope he is okay. I mean I couldn’t imagine how his friends organized his trip to the hospital seeing that nobody took their cars. He even wobbled while he sat so I have no idea how is he going to endure riding pillion while trying to keep steady. We did offer but he refused.

Probably because he saw the predatory look I was giving him.

Hhehehe..

No lah. Mana ada.. Kamil handsome apa ! Despite his bald head.. he is quite dashing.

Kah Kah Kah.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Oh Mum...

Yesterday I had a headache. A weird one. I have never experienced that kind of headache before and I really do not know how to handle it. I was on unfamiliar territory.

I was at the office at that time, so you can imagine how uncomfortable I was. When things failed to get right and the throbbing in my head intensified, I decided to pack up and went home.

While driving in pain, sempat pulak the perut signalled hunger. Waaaarrrggghhhh ! And when we are sick, husband hensem bak Keanu Reeves pun kita tolak tepi as Mum is the only person that could help. Especially on matters of the tummy. So I called mine.

“Where are you, Mummy ?” I asked. Bila sakit only Mummy will do. Mum doesn’t give the same effect. “I just arrived at the shop”, she answered. “Why ?” Came the very expected question from her.

“Kat rumah ada nasik ? I lapar….” was the very pitiful reply from her 30….something daughter. “Where are you ?” was the very worried reply from her. “I am on the way home”, I whined. I won’t apologise for whining on the account of the throbs in my head. “I have a headache. Sakit sangat. But I am hungry, Mummy……”

As a Mum, anak lapar is a slap on the face. It is a problem that has to be remedied immediately or else she fails… Serious. And lapar while tengah sakit…well.. I think she wouldn’t hesitate to put on a cape and coney bras for that. Haha….

“Mummy nak balik dah ni pun. You go straight home and I will meet you there…. Mummy masak fish ball soup…” Pulak. Kata tadi baru aje sampai kedai… Tiba-tiba dah nak balik pulak….. She had effectively put on her cape…..

And anak ni pulak, was in a dilemma whether nak menyusahkan mak ke tak nak. Her good sense won over and she said, “Nevermind lah, Mum… I will just go home sebab I couldn’t really drive anyway….”

“Laa… balik rumah ajelah (she meant her house) and Mummy masak. Ada ubat geliga kat rumah and Mummy boleh urut….” Sounds tempting… but I know she is tired. And she had just gotten there and I really do not want her to patah balik rumah just for me.

“Takpelah Mum… I’ll buy something on the way… Then terus tidur…” My mother of course tak puas hati and she said, “Okay.. I’ll go to your house….”

Masa tu, timbullah penyesalan kenapalah aku call mak aku. I shouldn’t have really as I do not want to inconvenient her. Sian dia. And then pulak, the throbs were getting quite bad and I got upset for some reason. I do not have the energy to argue actually…so … aku cakap keras sikit… I know.. weird… but I did. And she relented. Kesian mak aku.

So I arrived home (my own) in pain, coupled with guilt and remorse and a little bit of anger and slumped in bed. Bukak-bukak mata a steaming bowl of fish ball soup was waiting for me. I cried while I ate.

Then early this morning she called to ask how I was. She dangled my favourite meehoon goreng in front of me and so I swung by her house. She had it all packed but I ate in her kitchen to her utmost delight while she fussed over me, serving me hot tea and rubbing my head while she gossiped. I know I will be late for work. I expected too. But she just wants to see me, make sure that I am okay. Me, her ungrateful child.

Sorry Mummy.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

What I really want to say...

Okay... 2 posts in a day.... Enough to show what really on my mind was not Adik and her doa for adik... Hehhe... I am mightily uncomfortable now and the dreaded Monday is coming... I love my job. I really do. But tomorrow I have to attend Board Meeting. Board Meeting. Me ? And working for a company as big as mine, that is a big deal. I never expected to play with the big boys. Not so soon anyway. And tomorrow.. with the Group CEO. And Group CFO... Well... I am nervous as hell. Pray for me, friends. I really need it. Wassalam.

Doa Adik...

When we were in Mekah, I saw Adik kusyuk sangat berdoa. When a fellow jemaah Malaysia asked Adik what she asked for, she said, "Abang saya dapat 5A...". That earned her a hug from the lady, a cheek squeeze that looked painfull and loads of praises on what a good sister she is.

Then, "Saya nak adik..." which made myself and Kamil blushed like mad because the conversation happened in a very crowded bus from the airport waiting lounge to the airplane.

Satu kerja pulak.

Anyway... her doa belum makbul lagi... and I must say not from lack of trying ... on her parents' side, of course.

I have to say, she really, really want one. I know enought to expect her requests after each session with her cousins Izan and Nabil (bukan nama sebenar..hahahah). One day though she got really frustrated, she said "Saya nak adik... Macamana haa nak dapat adik ?", fists up, face contorted in desperation.

Kamil jawab, "Jangan ketuk pintu bilik Abah...."

Hahhahahahahaahha....

It is Sunday night already. Kamil is making homemade burgers and a mess in the kitchen. Esok dah kerja... Sigh...

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Apa ini ?

I really hate this new and improved blog. Does not allow paragraphs. Why ?

Tidur dengan Ashu saya boleh buat saya nangis

It is almost midnight and I just finished my work.

Sigh.... I am seriously tired and as my ex-boss said, stretched to the limit. Both of us made a day trip to Pasir Gudang yesterday and our conversation today was very weary and filled with sighs. Sian kita orang dua orang. Mana taknya sampai KL around 11pm and that doesn't include the trip from KL to Shah Alam. He has to go back to Cheras, dah dekat but he did drive for 8 hours, to and fro. Just can imagine how bone tired he is. We started our freaking journey at 5am, kay ?

Anyway I am sleepy.. but can't sleep. Kamil has some music on and I could never sleep with music blaring. Especially lagu mendayu-dayu which Kamil really favours.

Sigh... walking through the dreaded memory lane now, at a time when I was small and always got sent to my Opah, my mom's aunt. Whenever there, I will bunk with my Maksu which I totally hate because she literally sleeps hugging the radio. You know me. I am malancholy by nature. Every song, especially sad ones just brings me to sad events. I don't know why. Even if there are no sad events, I will just find a reason to be sad and sebek about.

Up until now if I ever listen to the Malay channels I will always think about my Maksu, especially when the DJ talks. I will always have this particular picture in my head of her smiling contently, the radio practically her pillow. And I remember crying softly that night (I could even remember the colour of the bed linen - red) because the music reminded me of my parents and somehow I felt like I was the most awful daughter God ever sent to earth.

And I remember her sighing when she realised what was happening on the other side of the bantal peluk (which again always remind me of her too... ehehehh). While I was busy regretting every little mistakes I ever made and making vows after vows to be good and begging Allah to spare me the furious fire of hell.. she slowly patted my thighs to comfort me.

Maksu passed away about 8 years ago, at the tender age of 35. I never knew she had heart problems so her death was one collosal shock to me. I remember feeling dizzy for days because nobody ever told me. She was such an important person at one point of my life that I just couldn't quite believe it that people failed to tell me.

Masa-masa nilah lagu Kerispatih keluar. Saja je nak buat aku sebek. Dah nangis pun.

Al-Fatihah for my Ashu.. Aliza Othman.

Friday, April 06, 2012

Actually, dik.. it was you !

Since our house was broken into, Adik has been sleeping with Abang because since that incident, we have been sleeping with our bedroom doors locked. Everytime I thought of the perp in our house, looking in my sleeping children, I feel sick in the stomach. However, it has been years since Adik's door could be locked. Kids, huh... They must break something at least once a year. So that is why Adik has to room with Abang. Kicking and screaming, of course. Every morning she would wake up crying about a) Abang kicked her while she was sleeping b) Abang hogged the blanket c) Abang's breath smells bad d) I hate abang e) Abang, abang, abang.. One morning she woke up crying to our room, sobbing and heaving, wailing "Can you please do something about my door knob ?" If she had been older, I am sure she would have inserted darn/damn somewhere in the sentence. Haha. At times I just feel that she is just using abang as a reason to cry in the morning as she just have to wake up grumpy and stroppy anyway. If she can cry in the process, that would be an added bonus. Anyway, during the time Kamil was sleeping in the hospital with his father, I had the kids filling up his space. And that was when I discovered that; a) she is the actual culprit. My head was kicked/strucked by her numerous times. b) she cried once in her sleep. And ... it was Abang who, while sleeping patted the empty space next to him and said, "Come here, dik... Mai sini dengan Abang... Everything is okay...." I got so sad when I heard that. Sad that my daughter cried in her sleep, because she always mentioned that she had nightmares and I had always thought that it was nothing. And sad to hear my son being so loving and mature. And all these while, kena tuduh bukan-bukan and dia senyap aje... Dah malas nak protest actually... Sigh....

Monday, April 02, 2012

So.... Hmmm....

So….

I saw her showing her very toned abs to my husband and all I could think of at that time was, how can I compete with that ? I mean I am all about being pudgy. And my abs ? Well… if ever my kids want to have a bouncy castle for their birthday, I could always offer mine to be trampled upon. They would have sooo much fun.

Okay, I should rewind a bit….

Not long ago, a friend came to my house. I think after awhile I went upstairs to pray or something like that and unfortunately had to go down again for some reason and saw THAT. Stumbled upon THAT scene.

Damn. Talk about being awkward.

I could see my husband being flustered and I.. well I slinked back up as I seriously do not know how to handle THAT.

So after that, it was a waiting game for me. Waiting for my husband to actually tell me about it. He didn’t. It ate me up for some reason. I wish to be told. I don’t know why. I just do.

Anyway, after forgetting about it, then suddenly coming back to me, and then disappearing again in the abyss of my mind, and then one day when it came to me again, I just blurted it out to my husband. Sigh, so much about wanting to be sophisticated on the matter.

My husband had the decency to blush and admitted that it happened.

When I asked why he didn’t confide in me, he said “What for ? It was nothing…” And we stopped at that. He looked like it was not a big deal, that it meant nothing for him. And I for some reason was extremely reluctant to pursue the matter.

Hmmm…….

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Jerawat

So nak dijadikan cerita, mata aku celik aje pagi tadi I was informed that Syabas buat perangai lagi. I closed my eyes with a weary sigh partly because of the thought of all the organising I need to do to ensure all 4 of us left the house to our respective destinations smelling of roses. The biggest part of my sigh was for Cik Abang Kamil nya.

Sesungguhnya aku adalah isteri yang sangat mengenali suami sebab belum sempat pun the sigh finished escaping from my self Kamil did the expected, he started ranting and raving. Dan sesungguhnya bermula lah episode kami anak beranak termasuk bibiknya sekali scrambling around the house, trying to match Kamil's barks and pace. Ini lah gamaknya barking mad, seperti cakap orang putih.

If explanation for his action is warranted, it is due to his utter abhorrence to be late. Pantang mak nenek dia. He always wants to be the person yang bukak office. Aku dah banyak kali dah pesan that he should just have changed his job to security guard shift malam sebab memang depa yang ada banyak peluang bukak office pagi-pagi. Orang lain susah sikit.

Anyway to speed things up, I ordered him to bathe at his mom's house with Adik while Abang and I do the deeds at CY's house. My husband left in a flurry of smoke and screeching tyres sehinggakan tertinggal his precious toilettries bag. Bibik handed the bag to me with muka yang sangat cuka and I accepted the bag with muka yang double cuka sebab sah-sah lah aku yang kena bagi menatang tu kat dia.

Tak sempat a fresh new sigh escaped my lips, he rang. And with a voice 2 octaves higher diselang-seli dengan sighs of frustration suruh aku bawak aje bag tu to CY's house.

Why he made me feel like it is my fault the house has no water ?

And for the umpteenth time in the past 30 minutes I asked myself, "kenapa aaa aku kawin dengan orang ni ?" Waaaaaaa !

Anyway belum sempat aku mandi and while Abang walked to school with MI, he came over to the house to siap. Then he left to send Adik to school aku pun melepaklah kejap dengan adik-adik. Sekali dia call. Lepas menyoal aku kaw-kaw kenapa aku tak pegi keje lagi, he announced that he is coming over to use the toilet. Cess.

Pastu boleh lah melepak sampai pukul 9 to play with our nephew. Sabar ajelah. Rasa macam rugi aje moving at warp speed while a drill sargeant shouted at your ears pagi tadi.

Anyway he called me around 11 am to make peace. He didn't say as much for sure but I know him. As usual, because aku nak nasihat secara sindiran tentang perangai dia pagi tadi, I have to inject humour while doing that just in case if his mood is still not there. Sigh... penat tau nak kena buat strategic planning sampai macam tu sekali.

So... after the treet treet of my phone, I answered with;

Me : Laaa... panjang umur you, Kamil. I baru aje mengumpat you dengan ZAK.

Him : Ye ke ? You ngumpat apa ?

Me : Alah... benda biasalah. You tak hensem, dah lah botak... Pastu suka marah-marah orang....

Him : Mana ada. I baik apa...... Mana ada I marah orang

YA RABBI !!! Memang sajalah aku tak terguling pengsan masa tu....

Me : Banyak lah you... I tak tau lah macamana staffs you belum bomohkan you lagi...

Him : Why would they want to do that ? I am nice person...

Me : Podah ! Pagi tadi marah I, marah Abang, marah Adik... Dengan Bibik sekali you marah... Macam lah kita orang kerja dengan Syabas... Bibik tu lagi lah... Dia kerja ngan you... You yang bayar gaji.... Apasal lak kita orang kena marah bila takde air...

Him : Pagi tadi ? Mana ada ? You cakap apa ni ? Mana ada I marah ?

Me : Pagi tadi.. yang you mengamuk sakan ngan kita orang..

Him : What are you talking about ni ? I mana ada marah...

Me : You are really going that way are you ?

Him : Yes.

Oh sungguh selamba badak.

So... Selepas membaca petikan di atas, don't anybody dare ask me why I have so many zits on my face. Okay ?

Trying to keep up

I have been so swamped with work, you all. I just do not have the time to write anything .. well except the reports that keep on piling up ! I just so wanna share more about my umrah trip but then 2 things happened;

1. Work. Well this is nothing new but I just can’t seem to catch-up. New ones keep adding up even while I am trying to finish the ones that are pending. My boss TSY asked if I am drowning but I said no because if I am drowning then he has drowned. I so do not want to worry him or add to his load. TSY ni baik orangnya and I know if I admit that I can’t cope, he will try to take some of my load. Sian dia…. So now… I suffer.

2. Sick FIL. On the day of our return from Mekah, he told us of the initial finding and after 3 days, our worst fear is confirmed. So it was a flurry of talking and consulting and doctor’s visit on Kamils’ part and shoulder to cry on and trying to be helpful but failed miserably on my part….and finally the operation last Friday.

Kamil has been sleeping in the hospital since last Thursday and only came home to our bed last night. I missed him so.

Anyway, we were at the hospital for what seemed like forever waiting and waiting and waiting. He is okay now but he is in pain which I really tak sampai hati tengok. Being menantu, I have been looking from afar while he was in the ICU and then CCU.. Yelah sebab takut dia tak nak kita kan… But last night when he was finally in normal hospital room, I kissed his forehead before I left and just squeezed his arm before asking the stupidest question in this whole wide world but people seemed to favour it while visiting the sick, the very predictable, “Abah okay ?”

Of course he is not. Duh. His answer was “Okay lah, tapi Abah sakit…..” and he started to move about, trying to find a comfortable position. I added to my list of stupid and obvious remark which was, “At least, the worse is over…”. Why lah people like to state the obvious ? Why ? Why can’t they, including myself, just shut-up ?
I must learn to state the hidden. I must. Or just keep shtoom.

So I left. Kalau Bapak aku tu maunya aku peluk and cium and belai tapi…. We do not have that kind of relationship, Abah and I. Shame, huh ? I would want to .. I am a very touchy, feely person however since he does not have that kind of relationship with his children, melebih lah pulak aku. Haha.

Abah’s condition definitely affected our life, not just how we spent our time but also the topic of conversation, what we have for breakfast, lunch and dinner etc. Anyway, we were looking for blood donor ever since we knew Abah was going in and due to the rarity of his blood type, the search was long and laborious.

One day Abang suggested that since Atuk has 8 grandkids, surely one of them has the same blood type. So he suggested for all his cousins to do a blood test pronto. We were in the car that time and I just smiled when he talked. Sweet, huh.

Tapi yang tak sweetnya adik. After about 10 minutes she suddenly said in a very, very low voice, “Mummy… I know I am fat but I just look fat. If you squeeze my arm (here she demonstrated it), it is very keras and I don’t think you will get any blood. I think kalau Atuk nak, Jay (her cousin) boleh bagilah because her arm is very, very soft….and very, very big..”

Hehhehehe… HEHHEHEHEHEHE… HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH !

Aiyoo lah….

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Umrah

I have been so busy ever since I returned. But now, I have cleared most of my tasks and have a bit time to write.

And I have sooo many, many things to share about my journey. Every single thing that happened I want to blog about. Tapi… macam dah lama tersimpan and some have started to slip away. Shame.

Anyway, it is quite hard to write about my Umrah trip actually…because there were sooo many things that happened. I have been thinking for quite a bit before I drift off to sleep every night the best way to capture everything here, but couldn't quite get an idea how.

So now, I have decided that I am just going to write about everything that came to mind. It will be jumbled up, mind you so look away if you have pening-pening lalat tendencies, eh ?

The thing that came to my mind about now is Adik. She had been wonderful. Aku bersyukur sangat aku hantar dia masuk sekolah Integrasi Agama because she was at ease with us being in the mosques day in and day out. No complaints, no tantrums. She prayed, apa saja sembahyang sunat yang ada she will do and whatever she didn’t know it was so easy to teach her, she mengaji Quran and when she was done with that she took the initiative to do hafazan, she dzikired with her brand new spanking tasbih, she slept when she was tired, she socialized with the other kids … basically, she was no bother at all.

There was only one day saja dia menangis and that was when she slept in between Maghrib and Isyak. Sememangnya she had always woken up on the wrong side of the bed… just like bapak eh. Therefore I swiftly posted her to the bapak eh to handle.

The best thing was, she was so much loved. The Arabs are crazy over kids because she always came back to the hotel with food. Sweets, kurmas, pretzels, drinks, chocolates… anything that anybody has, will always be extended to her.

Not to mention on the amount of cuddlings and kisses she got ! There were always people who stopped her for a hug or touched her face with awe and love, saying “Masya-Allah !” over and over again and murmurings in exotic languages.

Even the stern female guards at the doors of Masjid Nabawi were kind to her. They stopped their yellings of “Ibu ! Ibu ! Ibu ! Periksa ! Periksa ! Periksa ! Hajjah ! Hajjah !” and whatnots to hug her, or smile kindly and say, “Masya-Allah!” in the softest of tones, or just chucking her chin ! At first we were confused and she herself was scared because not a second ago they were yelling but after awhile we got used to it.

Such a wonder.

The guards at Masjidil Haram were much, much kinder so when they stopped her for a hug we were not that bothered. They even smiled at me while they checked my bag… Hahah…

Apart from that, the other jemaahs would always ask if she was mine. One man asked me, “Malaysia ?” and when I said yes, he pointed to my daughter and asked with crinkled forehead, “Pakistan ?”. I answered with, “Mine !”

Once while we waited for Isyak, a Turkish lady asked me, “Children ? Children ?” while gesturing at me and my daughter. I said, “Yes, of course !” and she frowned.

And when it happened again, another lady who said, “You China ? She Pakistan ?” and all her friends looked at us with curiosity, I answered with, “Papa Pakistan…” and they went, “Oohh………….”

Selamat. Satgi depa kata aku kidnap anak Pakistan mana, mampuih aku.

Tapi budak ni lah pulak menjerit, "Ha ? Abah Pakistan ?" Hissh !!!

There was one time in Masjidil Haram, she was reading surah Yassin softly. A lady behind her scooted nearer to hear her read. The lady then said something we couldn’t understand but my mom suggested that maybe she wanted Adik to read the verses louder, so she did. The lady then alerted her friends and they all kurumun-ed her, listening to her read in wonder. They shook their heads and listened until she was done. Of course there were rounds of kisses for her !

When a jemaah gave her 10 Riyal, she donated it to the street children.

And she was always, always very concerned about the illegal peddlers that littered the streets of Madinah and Makkah. On our first day in Madinah, our very first trip to Masjid Nabawi, while feeling the euphoria and excitement to enter the mosque, our eyes busy drinking in the scenery, out of the blue there were sirens and mayhem ensued. We suddenly found ourselves trapped in the middle of escaping peddlers and the policemen who chased them. It was chaotic and funny.

However, the very next day when they were back, Adik frowned at them and worriedly pointing them to me. “They are still here …” she whispered.

When the same thing happened to the peddlers in Makkah, one of them swung her bundle to her shoulder in flight, and it hit her. Lagilah bertambah tension anak aku.

Heheh... Dugaan, dik.

Something happened to us though, right after Friday prayers. For some reason, they closed one of the manay, many doors of the masjid and cordoned off a section of the compound outside Masjidil Haram. It created a terrible bottleneck and we were all pushed together like sardines. People were pushing and jostling as they fought their way out. I felt so suffocated and was finding it hard to breathe.

I looked at my daughter and she did not look good. She looked like she could collapse any time. I removed her telekung and was fending her from the pushings as much as I could. My mom and I were praying hard for safety and way out of the very, very tight and constricting space.

Suddenly, and oh very suddenly… there was a clearing around Adik. For some reason, nobody was around the perimeter and she could breathe better. Only by the Grace of Allah could that happen. My mother and I was shocked beyond believe. We pushed forward and we finally could make it to a lamp post.

Kamil then called. He was already at the hotel and was oblivious to our plight. He had wanted to come and help but I stopped him because I was worried about Abang. I told him to stay where he is. I told my mom, only Allah could help us now as the pushings have started again.

I tried to carry her, like I used to do when she was smaller but I can't. When did she get too big for me ? I got so desperate that I begged another man to help carry her but he shook his head. He either refused or couldn’t understand me. Terrible. I was in despair.

The lamp post where we sought refuge was encased at the bottom with cement, wider than the pole itself and could be sat on. In fact some men were already sitting on it. We bumped into another jemaah from Malaysia who we were friendly with there and the 3 of us decided to lift Adik up and let her sit on the casing.

We couldn’t. None of us could carry her. I had started to cry when suddenly in front of me, a huge Arab or Turkish lady appeared out of nowhere. Seriously, she just appeared because I was looking right in front of me and she wasn’t there. I blinked and there she was…

Anyway, she straight away plucked my daughter up with one hand and put her on the encasement. Effortlessly, I must add. There were no words exchanged between us but she knew what was wrong and acted. In fact she went right to it. Relief couldn't even describe what I was feeling.

This lady hugged and kissed my daughter, offered her cheese and bread, and while my daughter ate, she caressed her face. We left her to it while we waited for the crowd to ease.

And then... there was Kamil. He materialized in front of me after running to where we were from the hotel and made it there in a minute. He hauled his daughter up in his arms, and made a path for us to pass through.

Sigh.

Thank you, Allah for the help and for the angels you sent.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Makkah

I am home. Kelmarin lagi dah sampai.

Penat... but also happy. And I feel soo satisfied.

I had a smashing time. And emotional time.

Boss thought I should feel refreshed coming back from a holiday. But.. it is not a holiday boss. It is a pilgrimage. We were in the mosque all the time, praying and reading the Quran all the time. Hotel was just a place to sleep.

I didn't even have the time to shop ! Only managed one sejadah and one jubah for ihram for myself. Other than that mostly stuffs for other people.

And although it was hectic, I loved it. I am actually quite spent emotionally, crying all the time... at Masjid Nabawi, and Masjidil Haram looking at the Kaabah but... I loved it. I want to go again. London couldn't even compare. Sightseeing at St James Park couldn't compete with tawaf around Kaabah at 3 am like we did. Or jostling with other jemaahs to have a peek of Maqam Ibrahim. Shopping at Selfridges seemed so insignificant when compared to praying in Rawdah.. Buckingham Palace paled in comparison to even a glimpse of Maqam Rasullulah.

It was totally surreal.

Totally an amazing experience.

Masya-Allah.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Sigh....

I seem to have some time to write... but I don't know what about.

Maybe about the explosion of zits on my face. There are many, many of them. I don't know how else to control it. Tension. Lagi aku tension lagi bertambah. But how lah not to tension ?

The work is going well. Meaning it is not going well for the clients.

What else ?

No more movies that reminds me of anything. I am duly not going through the memory lane.

Am excited about Mekah though. Very excited. Tak sabar. But before I go, kerja kena siap dulu. Sigh.....

Had Japanese food just now. Yeah I know, Japanese food in Thailand but I tell you it is the best so far. Aku tak tahu kalau kat Jepun is better but Japanese restaurants in KL cannot lawan one.

I got pictures. But no alat-alat to transfer.

Aku serik pegi massage. Sebab the place that we frequent tu ada satu minah ni yang tak pandai urut. Tapi dah dua kali pegi aku asyik dapat dia aje. Tak samapi hati lak mintak tukaq. Satgi boss dia fire dia lak. So nak tak nak I have to endure. Sian aku.

Kamil brought the kids tengok wayang. Sedih jugak sebab cannot wait for me.

Not having dinner as still full from lunch so.... I am going to finish up my reports. Yeap, ada plural di situ.

No, jangan tension. Karang naik lagi satu. But I don't know where the jerawat can bertenggek sebab there is no place on my face anymore.

Oh yeah, Kamil said he a pressie for me. I told him to give it to me before I leave for Bangkok sebab kalau lepas aku pi Bangkok nampak macam Valentine's Day present pulak. Kang Allah marah. Kita nak pi Mekah ni.

Dia kata takpa, he will give to me before Valentine's Day. Huh. Tactic tak menjadi. Apa benda yang dia nak bagi yek ? Aku takut gak.... I know... how can I be scared of presents ? Sebab sekali dia bagi aku madu yang bukan dalam botol punya and bukan dari lebah, susah jugak. He sometimes has a wicked sense of humour.

Sigh...

Well... watch this space if you wanna know.

Ta-ra.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Kerana cerita bodoh Jeff Bridges

Am in Bangkok already. Dah pi pusing-pusing sat but I really can't have my day of leisure long. I have a report to submit and until that is done, I would always be on edge.

Anyway, was watching a movie on HBO just now. Saw it right in the middle so can't really understand what was going on. Anyway, Jeff Bridges and Stacy Keach are in it and a bit of boxing and I do not know how Keach and Bridges' stories are connected. They have been on separate scenes so far. Haha..

Anyway, Keach was in a bar and met a woman that he apprently took a fancy on. I dunno why because she ain't pretty and a drunkard. I gathered that all her men hit her and Keach said, "I have never hit a woman in my life..." and kept repeating it and then, they seemed to have hooked up.

Sweet in a disturbing sort of way.

Anyway, after missing a few scenes I saw him cooking while she was sleeping in bed. He forced her to eat but she didn't want to and of course when he relented she suddenly wanted to ! Women ! Hehhehe...

Whatever it is, he seemed like a good man and you know something that woman really needs to get her life back on track.... And looking at him, I was reminded of something my husband did about 2 days ago.

We just got out of the shower when he suddenly pulled me in his arms. He looked at me with this narrowed eyes and I was expecting one of those "You have done something wrong, madam and you are gonna get an earful from me..", but totally blew my mind away by asking, "When was the last time I told you I love you ?"

Eh ? I was flabbergasted. Excuse me ? What ?

I couldn't think at all. I wasn't expecting that. I gulped while trying to think and not look like a ninny. I should have been chanelling my inner Marilyn Monroe or Elizabeth Taylor or those 50s sexy sirens. I should have raised an eyebrow and said, "Well.. I am due for one right now..." and sexily puffed out the smoke from the cigarette that was suddenly dangling effortlessly from my hand. Haha... Berangan.

But instead, I only managed to look at him wide eyes and shrugged. Shrugged !!!

Damn.

He then cupped my face and said in earnest, "Well...I love you..." and I totally melted.

Sigh...............

Darn it.. Sila muntah sekarang.

Haha..

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Hmmm........

The kids are asleep. Kamil is downstairs watching the telly. I am on the bed, trying to get my bearings right.

I am quite poorly. Been sick since Tuesday. Dunno why I was woken up in the wee hours of that Tuesday morning by this hacking cough. I was coughing like mad in the office so much so by afternoon, my voice was already scratchy.

I could only manage to go for a quick visit to the Doctor's before rushing back to the office. I scoffed a bar of Picnic in the car and that was considered as my lunch. I worked but I can't concentrate as by that time everytime I cough, it sort of pulled all the muscles in my head with it and by 5, I was already nursing a headache.

Can't continue working at home as body had started aching. Kamil commented on my warm skin but Wednesday morning I still dragged myself out of bed.

Tried to work and put up with all the crap at the office. I was trying to ignore the pain and trying to forget how pissed off I was.

Yeah, let's not talk about that one. But I must tell you my annoyance and anger was quite severe that I was contemplating of just throwing the towel and give up.

Sigh... Too bad I love my job too much to do that.

So I tried to concentrate on work the whole darn week. Come Friday when one of my staff was on MC, I couldn't help but feel how unjust everything is. I should have been on MC since Tuesday. My body ache so, my throat do not just have frogs, but bears and racoons, too.

That is why today, after the flurry of classes and preparation for Bangkok and Umrah, I suddenly found myself awaken from slumber. Just too tired. Too darn sick, too.

I need a rest.

I didn't finish up my work. Malam semalam had a Chinese New Year dinner at my ex-boss' house. Pegi jugak walaupun I felt like tumbang-ing.

Sigh.......

Work........

Oh yeah, Thursday we were summoned to the Group CEO's office. Dah lah demam, dok ketaq pulak tu. But he was nice. He said hai and smiled.

So, okay kot.

Hehehhe...

Abang

About two days ago Abang called me around 5. After the customary hello, he started "Mummy just now I was talking to Jais (next door neighbour) and he can speak English ! You know their orange cat ? His name is Fendi and then while we were talking kan he played with my hand.... He is soooo cute.. !! And the white cat kan, you know Fendi's brother his name is Gucci but he wasn't there when we were talking and blah, blah, blah.. so cute... And then Moggy... blah, blah, blah..... "

And he prattled on and on and on until, "Lepas tu mak Jais joined and she asked me if I want to go over to their house to play... " Then a pause.

"Can I go, Mummy ?" He asked, unsuccesfully trying to stem his eagerness, trying to sound nonchalant.

"It's okay lah if I cannot go.. Saya tak kisah.... But kalau saya pegi I promise I will come home before 6.30..."

Hhehehe..... Aku saja je diam, just wanna make him squirm. When I finally answered, "Don't be late....", I could hear his exhale of relief.

Hehhehe.... Intro punya panjang... Sian anak aku.

Dok pulun siapkan kerja ni. Esok nak pi Bangkok for a week but I still have reports to issue.

Lepas tu balik dari Bangkok for 2 days, then Mekah.

Alhamdullilah.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Update

I have spoken to si Kamilnya about having a casual look at the old house but he said dia baruuuu saja lalu 2 weeks ago. And the house remained the same, still tak cantik.

Hmmm....... I just wish he would just tell me the truth i.e. Malaslah nak pegi !! Takyah lah nak buat citer baru lalu lah, hapa lah.

Anyway, we love Ginger Ales in this house. I drink it because I... ermm.... have trouble dispensing wind from my body... heheh... A can of ginger ale left opened until the gas dissipates is a very good way to help them out.

Anyway Kamil bought 5 cans the day before and by today there were none in the fridge.

Sapa minum ? he asked with a very garang voice.

He wish.

Because his daughter without fear answered,

"Saya minum.

Sedap.

When I take a sip, I feel so cosy.

So I drink the whole thing.

I cannot help myself."

The guy who still feels he is to be feared roared, "5 cans ! You drank all five !"

Abang didn't say anything. Adik again answered, "Next time buy 10 !"

I can't help but sniggered because Kamil just could not give a witty comeback.

Hehhehe...

Anyway... just now Kamil dengan confidentnya asked me, "Kat mana nak beli baja lalang ?"

Hmmm......... Patut le cannot win argument with his daughter.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Misteri rumah buruk

Last night we passed by a fast food restaurant and saw a not-so-young lady sitting alone. She looked a bit despondent, a bit sad so probably that was why Kamil asked, “Apalah dia buat sorang-sorang tu…”.

For me, the sight of her reminded me of someone that used to intrigue me.

A long, long time ago in land, not that far away from where I work now but can take such a long time to get to due to hell on earth traffic called KL, I earned my keep at a place called ISB. It is situated in a huge house, so very near to Pavilion that I used to walk there in search of sustenance. Anyway, the office was flanked with lived-in houses left, right and at the front.

It is a nice area, where only the rich can afford to live but the house right in front of our office was rundown. It boasts the biggest land on that road but the land was unkempt, the house looked like it is going to crumble any minute… er… well, from what we can see lah. We can’t really see the whole house because it is obscured by this huge spanking tree buuutt…. what we can see (the right side of the house) definitely looked crumbly. Trust me.

I am a very curious person. Not nosy. I am just curious. Who wouldn’t if rumah cantik keliling but tetiba ada lak satu nak runtuh macam rumah nenek kebayan (btw my Tok Cik mengaku dia nenek kebayan… So….. ) ? I hardly ever see cars go in and out and the only vehicle I can see from my point of view is a dilapidated small truck.

I had always thought that since the house could have fetched at least RM20 million, considering where it is, so why can’t the occupants just buy a nicer house somewhere cheaper and a darn car ? And maybe a broom to sweep the lawn of the dried leaves ? So of course that question begets another question which is, who lives there ? Someone who used to be rich ? Why are they still staying there ? Why ? Why ? Why ?

Nak dijadikan cerita one day as I was about to get into Kamil’s car for lunch, I saw a Chinese lady walking from the house towards the gate. Oohh… finally.. proof of life ! From far she looked very nice and tall and slim, with leggings and huge celeb sunnies, holding a brolly.

I asked Kamil to wait as I seriously want to get a good look at her but the full frontal view was disappointing. Ghastly even… Ish.,.. tak baiknya. My apologies if some of you are offended but that was what I truly felt when I saw her. The lady sported a flower tucked behind her ear and she was smiling shyly but the ghastly bit was the shocking pink lipstick and rouge which looked like it was applied roughly, in the dark.. while riding a roller-coaster. She walked past by us and from behind we could see the sway of her walk which was really cute and girly. Memang tak matching.

Kamil and I were rather disturbed what with the house and then her looking like that and we talked the whole way to a shopping complex. We went to the food court and lo and behold there she was. She was sitting alone, sipping drinks and still with the shy smile on her face.

We dragged our meal because she looked like she was waiting for someone and we just wanted to see who it was (okay, okay, maybe this part is more nosy than curious) but he or she didn’t materialize. So we left.

I didn’t see her again until one day I walked to the shopping complex on my own and while I ate, she sat near my table. No flower, but celeb sunnies remained there and the shy smile still plastered on her face. Again she was alone and I waited almost 1 and a half hours just to see if she was really meeting someone.

No. I didn’t see anyone.

After that I see her sometimes, at the food court sipping a drink. Always. Once I saw her returned to the house, on foot again, faithful brolly never leaving her ..err…. head. It was about 3pm so no wonder she never left before me.

I tried to ask about her but nobody seems to know. Well… memandangkan we don’t mix with the neighbours, I could only ask my fellow office mates and unless they have lived there for some time, of course they wouldn’t know about her. I remember showing her to my good friend Sue once but Sue yang merangkap secretary Chairman, yakni owner of the premise pun tak tahu.

But … I am sooo disturbed with the image of her day in and day out alone, waiting there at the food court, never eating from 1 to 3, living in a house of that condition. I just wonder what is her life about, who lives with her and who was she waiting for at the foodcourt ? What is her story ?

And what is the deal with the sunnies ?

And… if she was not working, and nobody seemed to leave the house for work, what did she do for food ?

Why is she always alone ? Why at the food court everyday ?

I never saw her again after I left the company. Admittedly I only ever went to the shopping complex… err…. never… since I left.. Hhehehe….

Hmm….. since my err... curiosity (I don't think intriguity is a word)is refreshed anew, rasa macam nak ajak Kamil pegi aje Sabtu ni… Swing by the old office and see if the house is still there…..

Hmmm……..

Should I ?

Okay, if we really go I am still being curious yeah, not nosy. Definitely not.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Berita terkini hari ini

I know, I know... Two updates in a day ! Shocker ! But I really, really have to write about this.

You guys just wouldn't believe what happened just now.

We went to Seksyen 2 to get our vaccination for Mecca trip. Nothing unusual there. I went in first then Kamil and while Kamil was in, the staffs there said all of us could go in. So I ushered my children in, in the middle of Kamil getting his shot and that is when the unusual happened. My kids went berserk.

Okay berserk is a bit too much, they went nuts.

The gasps and the horrified looks and the realisation of why we were there sort of fleeted before me before the tears started coming. I thought I mentioned many, many times we have to get jabs before we go. Maybe they don't understand what it means. Jabs that is. But knowing my children, they always ask if they don't understand what I say. Always.

So to me I have done my part. I have made the proper announcement and kalau dia orang tak paham... well.... tough. Fuuhh... garang. Heheheh.... No lah. Seriously, I know I have told them.

Anyway both of them started crying. Yang besaq, gemuk gedempoi siap kena tarik pi duduk sebelah the good doctor. He was unconsolable so much so Kamil had to put him on his lap to appease him somehow.

Doctor angkat tangan saja he started wailing and dok suruh doctor tu tunggu sat. Lama-lama aku kata. "I think my penampaq is going to hurt much more than the injection. You want to try for comparison ?" barulah dia sengap.

Yang the little clown girl, the one with so much bravado in her pun sama saja, dua kali lima. Meronta-ronta siap. Drama sungguh !

Aku rasa macam mimpi saja nengok budak-budak tu macam tu. They even went as far as saying that they wouldn't mind not going.

Hampeh betui.