Aku dari kecik2 imagination memang teruk....

Today to pass the time, Kamil ajak pegi Subang Parade.. And Subang Parade is more wheelchair friendly then KLCC because they have ramps... can I call them ramps ?.. or bridges I suppose...apart from escalators to connect one floor to another.

So we didn't waste anytime to wait for the elevator to move from top to bottom.

The kuih rayas on sale looked so tempting. We never bought any kuihs from unacquainted stalls but when I saw one so beautifully designed to be mouthwatering and was informed it is orange flavoured, I grabbed a box immediately.It tasted like Cadbury Zip perisa orange, kay ? Am gonna get the strawberry flavour ones as soon as I could manage and stock up the orange ones for raya. They are super delish !

I dunno why today, as I was wheeled around Subang Parade, I teringat sangat this one incident when I was small.. at a time when Globe Silk Store was still the place to go.

Heheh...

Anyway one puasa month Ayah took me and my sister CT to Globe for baju raya. When we got there, Ayah dropped me and CT in front of the store while he went to park the car. He knew he would have to park the car quite far away and wanted to spare his girls the long walk.

So there we were, CT and I in front of Globe, waiting for Ayah to join us. The place was busy. Cars were wheezing by, the blind men band were playing at their usual spot ... you know what it was like.

I dunno why that day, I felt that Ayah took such a long time to come and get us. And I don't know how long we had been waiting when I became very anxious. For some reason, as time passed by and kelibat Ayah masih tak nampak-nampak, I began to suspect that he actually was abandoning us there and did a runner.

I got more panicky by the minute when that idea formed in my head. I scanned the crowd many times over but still he wasn't there. At that time pulak I think a few buses stopped in front of the store, so there were quite a lot of people milling about and I was sooo scared that probably he had missed us in the crowd somehow. So I had a very panicky look around, trying to single out my dad from the many, many heads and arms and bodies and legs around me, my head jerking left, right and centre rapidly.

I remember clutching my sister's hand tightly as I kept on looking for the sight of my dad and... planned the means to get home if he had really left us there.

I did a mental calculation of the money I had with me which was nada. Then I tried to remember the way home and was quite pleased with myself because it didn't seem to be that far away.

I was confident that I could get my sister home to my mom... which was the surest thing on the earth for me at that time. Sure we would miss buka but the most important thing is to get home.

I also clearly remember my plan to approach the men in blue and ask for a ride home if necessary.

Sambil-sambil tu my heart kept sinking because makin lama, makin I was convinced that Ayah had really abandoned us there.

Aku sedih sangat sekarang because I can still remember how scared I was. The sadness toksah cakaplah because I am Ayah's little girl and I couldn't understand what I had done sampai kena buang kat Globe.

Aku sedih ni..... Hehehhe.....

Aku mula terbayang-bayang adik-adik kat rumah, my mom...I always see her cooking when I try to conjure her in my memory, the house... everything.... Sedihnya kena buang tu toksah cakaplah.

Lepas tu, tiba-tiba... there he was... my Ayah right in front of me, hands tighly folded and face very much bewildered as he looked at me.

"Awatnya muka macam tu ?" He asked.

My elation to see him cannot be described but I also cannot describe my embarrassment for having such wild imagination... and so little faith in my own dad.

Hehhehe..

I remember him cupping my face and asked, "You ingat I tinggai you kat sini ka ? Ayah dok duduk tang tu lama dah.. dok tengok kat you..."

I shook my head while wiping the tears that fell, while smiling with relief at him.

"Heh !" He said and shook his head and hugged me. The 'heh' is for "Apa hang ingat aku teruk sangat ni ?" I am sure. Then he smiled his bewildered smile and I never felt so happy at that moment.

I remember that year, he bought me a yellow cotton baju kurung with small yellow and orang flowers scattered all over. It had yellow piping which I really like.

For CT he chose a blue checked baju kurung which made her looked more boyish than ever, I thought.

Then he took us back to the car and it was a long walk indeed, which explained why it took such a long time for him to get to us. Plus I don't know how long he had been standing there, watching the play of emotions on my face

Why am I like this ?

I dunno...

KLCC

Took the kids for baju raya yesterday.

Before Jumaat prayers went to Shah Alam Mall. Abang had a haircut and while trawling the very, very sparse mall, found baju kurung for Adik. Hehhehe... Actually she tried on a very adult baju kebaya and she really, really wanted it but then Babah wanted her little girl to remain a little girl longer so he firmly showed her a delicious pink baju kurung with brown polka dots. It was so saccharine sweet, she looked like candy.

He also found a brown baju kurung with white dots which he likes for me. I was surprised because he hates polka dots ! With a passion ! But somehow his dislike evaporated yesterday. The miracle of Ramadhan peeps ! But sayangnya takdak size... so melepas le...

After prayers we made our way to KLCC pulak. Yeehaa !! Dah lama sangat tak pi I was excited.

First in the agenda, toilet for me. I who insists on cleanliness have no choice but to patronise the RM2 loos. Since I was in a wheelie, they opened up the Disabled toilet so I could go in with the wheelie sekali.

While in there I heard Kamil bersembang bagai dengan makcik jaga toilet tu... gelak-gelak siap so of course I asked what they talked about.

"Takde makcik tu tanya you ni isteri I ke... I cakaplah I kawin dengan you sebab kesian... Tak dorang ndak kat you.... Jadi I pun kawinlah dengan you..."

Yeah... sapa-sapa yang kat KLCC yesterday dalam pukul 4 petang rasa KLCC tu bergegar, it was no earthquake, it was me.

Anyway, KLCC is very disabled friendly, it was easy for me to be wheeled everywhere and the patrons are nice too. People held the lifts for us and opened doors for us and let us passed first. All races were willing to help so I suppose I could make my 1Malaysia story right there.

I had warned Kamil to berbuka at KLCC would be hard without reservations, something that he knows about by the way, him being local and all... But taakkk.... Degil... By 6 pm, all restaurants were fully booked. We had no choice but to park our butts at the food court at 6.30 pm ! Itupun dah penuh dah. Luckily a family of mat sallehs who just finished their meal quickly got up when they saw us. Siap kemaskan meja sekali... Bless....

So it was a long wait. Luckily we stocked up on books before we came so the kids and their momma were busy reading. Babah seperti biasa played with his mobile.

Kesian, ramai orang makan berdiri. And I feel that is unfair as we shared our table with like 10 youths who bought food and drinks from elsewhere. And people who actually bought food from the foodcourt had to eat standing up. Kalau dah beli makanan kat tempat lain tu, aku rasa takpe kot pegi makan kat tasik tu ke... Janganlah ambik tempat orang yang memang beli dari foodcourt itself.

Entahlah. We quickly ate because there were a lot of people who needed a table.

Quite a percentage of my gaji were used to buy beauty products, to...errrmm.... buang kedut di muka... ha ha... While Kamil paid, I went around the counters and asked for moisturiser samples... Cara paling baik untuk test moisturisers without committing to one. They are sooo expensive kalau tak sesuai sayang kan ?

So... that was my Friday. I love KLCC because it is convenient. Soon kena pegi MidValley jugak for Metrojaya. And I know MidValley will not be easy. Better take my crutches kot for that.

Adik's announcement

Hehhehe...

Gelak dulu sebelum tulis apa-apa.

Adik called at me work yesterday.

"Mummy... I have something to tell you...."

She took a deep breath then added, "I like a boy....."

All Mummy could say was, "Oh...."

And she said, "Yes... please tell Babah about it...."

Heheheheheh.... Gila apa budak ni ?

I mean, how could I not laugh ?

"Why can't you tell Babah yourself ?"

"Errmmm... I don't know.... Okay lah, bye !"

And she hung up.

And I sat there frozen, with the phone at me ear for quite sometime.

Frozen bukannya apa, was thinking when is the best time to tell her Babah and get the reaction that I want. And I was seeking for abject horror, and nothing less.

I love drama.

Thinking there is no time like the present, I called him. He didn't answer.

Nevermind.

Half an hour after that, Adik called me again. She told me about other stuffs that I have now forgotten about then, "Have you told Babah ?"

Hehhehehe.... Budak-budak pun tahu benda-benda macam ni kena bagitau Bapak.

"Err.... no...."

She sighed. "Takpelah, I will tell him myself..."

Kah kah kah kah.... Good luck, I thought but feeling a bit dissapointed because I won't be there to witness his reaction. Damn because I knew it was gonna be volcanic.

Mere minutes after that Kamil called.

"Apasal ?"

Hehe.... "Err......Adik ada call you ?"

Ada, he replied. But she talked about the other stuffs that I have forgotten about tu.

"Itu saja ?"

"Ha... kenapa ?"

Hehehhe... I was happy. And I have to admit, when I break the news to him, I was filled to the brim with glee. Every word I uttered was laced with mirth "Adik kata he likes a boy...."

"WHAT ?"

And I happily repeated.

"Tak nak lah.... I tak nak dengar...."

Hehehehhe......

"Well she told me to tell you...."

"Ha ?... I don't want to know....." Said the poor man and hung up.

Ahhahahahah... I like.

When he fetched me from work, his acknowledgement that the conversation we had ever happened was when he asked, "Sapa nama budak tu ?" and at my "I don't know", the subject was not mentioned again.

Until I heard his anguished and very loud, "Tak nak lah ADIK !!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" while they both were upstairs. Aku gelak macam nak pengsan.

In the car on the way to Mum's house for iftar of nasi tomato, he suddenly said, "Nama dia Fahmi...."

Hehehheheheheh.... Aku gelak aje lah... Muka Babah dia pun dah cukup nak bagi aku gelak 10 tahun, okay ?

"I told her, tak payah lah dulu...... But she said, "But Bah, I cannot help it !""

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !

I had soooo much fun yesterday....

Budi bahasa...

So today I started work.

Went to the doctor for my follow up yesterday and he took the bandages out. But he sent me to the physiotherapist to be fitted with tight ankle guard. Still have to use the crutches though. A week without walking has left my muscles weak so it was painful.. hence the crutches.

And my ankle is swtill swollen.

And he gave me 15 days of mc.

Yahoo ! But ... I went to work today.

So... wasted, huh ?

Anyway, while waiting for my medication yesterday, a pakcik who sat near us asked, "Kenapa ni, nak ?"

I smiled fondly at him because I find him calling me 'nak' was so endearing.

Aku rasa Bahasa Melayu ni indah. That is why I refer myself as Makcik instead of Aunty because I find Makcik has more ummpphhh ! Plus, rasa macam segan lak nak panggil Aunty.

I know... you must be wondering why my children call me Mummy then. I didn't want them to. I wanted to be called Mak actually. I was dreaming about it. But then Mak has to come with Bapak and Kamil refused to be called so.

He said he wants to be called Abah, like his dad. And so when he said that, okay lah... I will be called Mummy just like my own Mum then.

But.. actually my Mum didn't plan to be called Mummy either. My eldest brother was born in the States and he lived there until he was near 3 I think so he was just immitating what his peers called their mums.

So it got stuck.

I also like to call those younger than me as Adik. I learnt that from an ex-colleague and I like it. Rasa macam sopan dan mesra sangat. So I took a leaf out of his book and never looked back.

Melayu itu budi bahasa aku rasa...

Almost nothing weekend

Want to hear about my weekend ?

No need.

Seriously. Not much this lady with her gammy left foot could do.

At least Saturday keluar sekejap pegi 1Utama. Yesterday (Sunday)I was cooped up at home just watching the telly. Keluar sekejap just before midnight pergi 7-11. That was my 10 minutes of seeing the world.

Ha ha....

So I did a lot sitting down and watching the telly aimlessly. I mean it was a novelty during the weekday but when the weekends rolled in, it was a damn nuisance.

Anyway, I reminisced a lot while sitting and I thought about Abang a lot at that.

Abang was a gorgeous, gorgeous baby.

He was, says his mother lah.

He was so fair and round with the biggest, innocent eyes. Lovely.

Anyway what I remembered so much that day was my boy loves Bear in The Big Blue House and he especially loves the song Bear and his friend Luna sing at the end of every show.

Tak kiralah kat mana or if we have any audience, he would demand it by saying, "Bear Blue House" and Kamil and I would comply. Mulalah kita orang menyanyi, punya nak melayan si tembam tu. And yang cutenya when we start singing, he would follow.. sampai pejam-pejam mata punya feeling. Pastu suruh ulang sampai kita orang penat.

He he... Sebak kejap bila ingat. Sekarang dia dah besar and dia yang nak nyanyi. Sengau pulak tu.. heheheheh

Aku also teringat when we went to Bangkok, he was about 3 years old and sangat lah ligat. You know how 3 year olds are, yeah ?

Anyway, when we got into the room, the first thing he attacked was the phone. Memang favourite dia. When we were living in Leicester pun kerja dia memang panjat meja and main dengan telephone. Kat rumah sendiri okaylah, we disconnected the line. Kat Bangkok tu tak berani lak because my boss would call using the room line.

Anyway, memang kita orang duduk tak senang sebab asyik kena tarik dia from the phone until I noticed the free fruit basket courtesy of the hotel had some rambutans in it. Knowing how much dia geli dengan rambutan, I took 2 and put them on the phone.

Selesai kerja. He didn't go near the damn thing the whole duration we were there at all !!

Alahai....

Dasar penakut

2 days ago Abang nak sembahyang Zuhur. Cari Adik, but makcik tu pulak dah tertidur. Penat kan bulan puasa. Anyway, Abang dok terkulat-kulat kat depan aku. Dah penakut, nak naik atas sembahyang siang-siang pun nak kena berteman.

Aku diam aje, didn't even look at him sebab malas nak dengar dia punya alasan. I suppose he could see my stony face and tak berani nak bersuara.

Suddenly, "Moggie ! Moggie !! Mana Moggie ni ?" He shouted. Aku dah start tersengih dah. Buatnya pulak si Moggie ni memang clever sikit. Kalau panggil nama dia memang dia datang punya... if he was of hearing distance lah. So berlari-larilah Moggie datang mengadap tuan dia. Abang scooped him up and took him upstairs with him. Aku dah gelak sakan dah masa tu. Tak ada orang nak teman, kucing pun jadilah.

Teringat terus kat my adik MJ. Sama aje penakut. Pernah sekali dia nak mandi tapi semua orang refused to teman dia. Bosan okay. So after a period of begging his brothers and sisters to teman, and our mom pulak dok memekak about his mandi-less state, I saw him walking past me, Moggie (that would be Moggie the first... after he died, subsequent orange cats are called Moggie too) in hand. I of course followed him. I caught him telling Moggie to say where he was and to not move. And then MJ proceeded to mandi with the door opened wide, darling Moggie obediently didn't move an inch.

HEhehehehhe.... Hailah... penyakit keturunan. Idea bernas turun-temurun.

Tapi kalau difikirkan, MJ ni memang penakut giler. Remember tak dulu Malaysia was plagued dengan urban legend hantu kom-kom ? You know how the hantu will go from house to house bagi salam and then she will leave a baby ka apa ka bila kita jawab.

Anyway, MJ was soooo bloody scared of the possibility of that hantu visiting us. Satu hari while having dinner, we were talking about it lah. Si MJ ni silapnya pi ubah tempat duduk and bertenggek kat our mom whose seat faced our huge french doors. And as per our custom, the doors were wide open to let the cool night air in.

Tiba-tiba, while we were busy talking about the hantu kom-kom, our stories getting wilder and wilder by the minute, we heard ada orang bagi salam from the opened doors. Kita orang yang dah besar-besar ni could recognise MP punya suara and sure enough when we looked, there he was, a furry towel wrapped around his head macam tudung tercegat dekat pintu tu, partly hidden by the drapes.

But... when we looked at MJ, Ya Rabbi, his face was white as sheet. Blood was completely drained from his face and the look of terror was unforgettable.

Hehehehhehe............ He was the only one who didn't get the joke. Nope... actually MP berjaya menakutkan MJ. HAHHAHAHA....

But to be fair, all of us memang penakut. And our dad loved to fuel it rather than try to make us braver.

Our dad is a snacker. Most nights he would look at one of us, his victim of choice, and say, "Bestnya kalau kita makan toast/ice-cream/olet (chocolates)/or whatever that took his fancy."

Sapa-sapa yang termakan dengan pujuk rayu dia kenalah pergi. And dah dasar penakut, fight would ensue first sebab now we have to rope in kawan nak teman.

Most times, mom will say, "Apa yang nak ditakutkan ? Pernah ke orang dalam rumah ni kena cekik dengan hantu ?"

Dah dengar tu, terpaksalah pergi jugak turun bawah sorang-sorang. But then dad would not be dad if he didn't make us cry. Dah sampai bawah aje, the toast maker usually would be grumbling out loud, he would shout, "Eleh nak marah buat apa... suruh lah nenek tua kat bawah tu tolong buat kan !"

Haa !! Meraunglah kita yang sorang-sorang kat bawah tu until my parents would chase another one to go down and teman kan pulak...

Hehehhehe... Problem kan ?

From Bandar Utama to Geneva

Just now we broke our fast in 1Utama.

I have been cooped up in the house too long, it cannot be healthy.

Anyway, we got a table outside of the restaurant, sort of on verandah or balcony.

Kamil took the restless kids to MPH for books so I was left alone with nary a book nor a magazine to read so I focused on the scenery. The verandah was huge so the paneless 'window'was huge too. As I gazed outside, it somehow reminded me of my trip to Geneva a few years ago.

I was entrusted to present a paper written by our researcher to the UN, UNCTAD to be precise. So there I was at the UN complex, feeling small from the importance and grandeur of the UN but giddy with excitement at the same time.

Anyway it was break time and I made my way to the canteen or cafe if you like, for a spot of hot tea. I took a table overlooking this huge window and the scenery was spectacular. It was winter and the world outide was covered in heavenly white snow. The trees, the field and if I was not mistaken there was a lake tucked somewhere between the branches. It was breathtaking.

In front of me was a steaming cup of tea, croissant and pain au chocolat. Nothing could be perfect. But... as I sat there, feeling inadequate but important at the same time, all I could think about was how I wish Kamil was there with me.

To me, the beauty that I was looking at and experiencing was totally wasted because I was alone. If only Kamil was there to admire the tranquility of it all. The hushed tones of my fellow patrons when they talk (sounding so bloody important), the outside world totally blanketed by ice so white it was almost silver, the delicious fare I was to partake... everything.

I wanted Kamil to see the way the snow elegantly covered the leaves and the branches of this very huge tree nearest to the window. And I wanted him to see the people I saw walking briskly by in their suits and whatnots. And I wanted to him look at the lake (as now I am sure there was one visible from my table) and admire it's serenity. As oppose to my trepidition for my turn to address the crowd, probably.

Because when I went back, I can't really put everything that I saw and felt in words. Words failed me. I can't really translate what I experienced visually....... vocally. Can I say that ? Heh. I remember him just nodding his head inanely while I tried my darnest to make him understand the trees and the lake and the people and the hushed tone. It was frustrating.

I really don't know why I suddenly was transported back to that day in Geneva. Sure I was alone again just now while I took in the scenery. But it was a very different scenery because it was very green and the ambiance was different too as loud music was blaring from the telly. Plus my family will re-join me soon so I wasn't totally alone.

Maybe it was the huge paneless 'window'. Probably... heh.

But you know, how I wish I could take Kamil there with me one day. To the same cafe, with croissants and pain au chocolat and the steaming tea in front of us while we enjoy the view outside so that he knows just what I was talking about.

I don't know why that is sooo important to me.

Merepek hari Jemahat

Today is the errmm... 6th day I have been immobile... No... not completely immobile... but more limited mobility.

I found that I am quite a decent 1 leg hopper. Seriously. I can really hop the distance.... Heheh...

I also found that it is okay to bathe with cold water in the morning. The first spray of water is the hardest but after that it is quite all right.

Other than that, I get to catch up on my Criminal Minds. That is nice. But I think I am bit sick of the telly. I feel like reading now... But no new books and old books seemed to still be a bit familiar.

I can blog .... which I like very much.

I would like very much to cook actually. I really do but as much as I am good at hopping, I can't cook with that particular talent.

Yesterday Kamil had a berbuka do with his colleagues and their partners (if applicable...). I wasn't suppose to go on account I should really be at site. But since I was around yesterday I begged Kamil to take me anyway. Memang perangai aku, I had always liked to get to know Kamil's colleagues. More than anything, I just want to put a face to the names I hear on daily basis.

Anyway the place was beautiful and I was assured it was wheelchair friendly. It was, up to the restaurant only. After that... oh oh oh.... they had to beramai-ramai lifted me up, together with my wheelie, inside.

Segan ? Toksah cakap le... Don't get me wrong. I was having the time of my life being pushed by Kamil. But apparently that was the limit of my fun-ness. To be lifted up and being gawked at by the masses while that was happening was a tad too embarrassing for me.

Heh.

Luckily the food was good. They had a grill bar with seafood and lamb. Satay was delicious. So's the otak-otak. Dim sum was yum-my and the kuihs and the cakes and the tarts tasted as they should.

Laksa was okay and I heard the nasi ayam was masin.

So... that was the extend of what I had. Since I can't have a leisure stroll around the buffet table to choose on my own, I told Kamil that yesterday would be a test of how much he knows me. And he brought all that so that was quite good. Although, he missed out on the jagung only ais kacang. He didn't bring me any.. heheh. And I was too full of the above to be stroppy. But berpeluh-peluh jugak Mamat tu each time he put the plate thet he fixed in front of me. Hehhehe... Hai lah...

All in all, I would recommend Cyberview Lodge. The place was gorgeous and the food amazing. But at RM78++ a bit steep for my liking. But I suppose the ambiance has to be paid for. And for those men to carry me in.. ha ha....

Bibik baru...

Rajin sungguh aku update blog minggu ni yek... Dah mc adalah masa... Next week I will start my work again and kosonglah balik blog ni...

Sad.. as I love blogging...

Anyway, want to talk about my Bibik today. Sejak Neti pegi, Bibik lah stepped in. Sorry... I have no idea what her name is. Halimah rasanya. He he... Mummy told me once but somehow I just can't remember...

Takpalah kot... I call her Bibik.... She also calls herself Bibik... Kira okaylah tu.

Anyway, Neti she is not. First she can't read so that is a huge problem by itself there. We set our washing machine to wash at C but she kept doing it at E. Jenuh kami dok betulkan but she seems to like the letter E. So our baju doesn't come out as we wanted it from the washer.

Kamil is convinced she is out to destroy his clothes. All his t-shirts spot a small tear on the left sleeve. All. She successfully decommissioned 2 of his Raoul shirts by making the collars berbulu. Although I suspect the problem lays on the material of the shirts because nothing similar happened to his other shirts with different brands. NO... things do happen to his other shirts of different brands, only the type of injury to the shirts are different.

She never sweeps underneath our beds. Hari tu as soon as I got up from my sujud, I inadvertantly saw the atrocity that is under my bed. Aku rasa tikus pun ada duduk kat situ. The accumulated dust toksah cakap lah.

She usually forgets to wipe the stove off its oily grime and sticky splashes. I have to do it for her.

Yang paling Kamil angin, barang dah habis baru nak bagitau suruh beli. Berapa kali Kamil kena ulang-alik pergi beli barang.

So aku rasa berbaloi lah kalau aku nak tension. But.... I chose to concentrate on her plus sides. She is a great cook. She takes good care of the kids. The kids love her and manja dengan dia.

And dia sanggup jaga aku masa aku sakit ni. Nak tolong mandikan, sorong aku ke sana ke mari eventhough I insisted that I could do it on my own. Itu aku rasa, susah sikit nak cari.

Lantaklah rumah aku tunggang terbalik and Kamil kena beli baju sebulan sekali, tapi sebab dia baik, aku sanggup. Nobody is perfect kan ?

How much do you love me ?

This morning the kiddies woke up for sahur before me. Well... aku dah celik mata dah cuma cannot bangun yet sebab kena tunggu their Babah to help me up. Anyway, Adik came to peer at me in the dark. I know what she wanted to do but I waited for her to ask.

"Mummy, can I baring with you ?"

I moved the blanket to make space for her, and as the norm extended my arms across the pillow where she immediately put her head on, and snuggled close. Sebik sekejap aku dalam gelap tu sebab teringat masa dia baby dulu.

Every night we would put her in her cot and every morning you would find her in my arms, very much like this morning. In the middle of the night she would cry and nothing you could do to appease her other than putting her head on my arm. Once Kamil tried his arm but it didn't work. It was my arm that she most coveted.

So after that, asal dia teriak aje, I would pick her up from her cot, and snuggle close. Diam dia sampai pagi.

My sweetheart.

Beza dengan Abang. Abang pukul 7.30 pm dah tidur. Somebody has to sleep with him, bagi dia susu (and usually the parent with the tidurkan anak duty will doze off sekali) and tepuk-tepuk dia. We will give him another bottle about 11 pm to midnight and he would sleep until 7 am the next morning. Not a peep would come out from him.

That is why I don't understand why Kamil has the fear of bangun malam to feed the baby when we discussed about expanding our brood because none of his kids bangun malam for a feed.

Anyway, back to this morning, as we snuggled I asked her, "Do you love me ?"

She answered with "Of course, Mummy !" He he....

I asked her how much and her reply was "3 thousand..."

"3 thousand ?" I asked back.

"Yes...." she said. "And 3 thousand is a lot, Mummy....." She assured me. Ha ha....

Dulu-dulu when I first asked Abang (he was about 2)how much he loves me, he would screw his face in incomprehension. "You love me big (and here I stretched my 2 arms wide) or small (here I used my 2 fingers to show him the smallness) ?"

"Biiigggg ..." he said, emulating my hand gestures.

"Big like what ?" Tanya mak yang tak pernah puas hati ni.

I remember him looking around and answered, "Big like sky....." Oohh... puasnya hati Mummy.... He he....

Ooh... anyway, Abang started talking late kan, so his declaration of love came out as "Shoo mah much !!!" Awwww..........

Anyway, dah lama-lama, dah besar sikit, dah pegi kindergarten, one day when I asked him he said, "Big like outer space, Mummy.....""

Awww............

I love you 2 very, very much... Bigger than sky or outer space and much, much more than 3 thousand !

Test of love....

I cannot deny that aku ada sedikit sakit hati dengan si Kamil pasal incident aku jatuh tangga ni.

First of all sebab dia kata aku jatuh tangga ni atas sebab aku degil... That one I cannot paham... Tangga rumah dia yang gelap okay. To maneouver the stairs in his house, you have to look carefully sometimes because the lines are not that clear.

Lagi sekali dia cakap aku degil aku saman tuan tumah (iaitu dia) for negligence. Banyak gak aku boleh dapat aku rasa.. especially sebab aku dah banyak kali nasihat dia tukaq kaler tangga tu...

Sakit hati kedua bila dia tengok muka aku confuse-confuse bila tuan doktor habaq torn ligaments, dia aku tak tau awat naik satu macam and dengan muka yang aku cannot describe kat hangpa nan la, explained to me the severity of torn ligaments.

Wuuiihhh.... Sakitnya hati.....

Tetapi bila balik rumah.. my hati was mended considering he took such good care of me.

He bathed me. Siram kan ayaq and tolong sabun and helped to right me when I got up. Wiped me dry, put on my clothes for me and wheeled me back in front of the telly.

He fed me with anything that I like. Aku cakap saja apa aku nak makan and he will try to make it happen. Yesterday aku tiba-tiba teringin nak makan Ruffles so he stopped by Giant to get one for me.

He took me to my mom''s house for iftar because he knows how much I like seeing my mom. He could have just tapau all the food and bawak balik but no... he wheeled me to the car, helped me got in, folded the wheelie and put in the trunk. Sampai rumah Mummy he took the wheelie out again, helped me got on the chair, pushed me inside (not an easy feat since kena naik rumah kan at the door), fixed my plate (although aku banyak jugak mintak MJ buat sebab kesian kat Kamil) then repeat the hassle when it was time to go home. So... you know I appreciate that.

He wheeled me in the wheel chair eventhough seriously I could do it by myself. The wheelchair is very responsive really and I don't need help. Plus I could stand on 1 leg and I can manage beautifully on my own. But he insisted and it was nice to be pampered.

He brought down the heavy mattress and bentang in the living room so that I don't have to tackle the stairs when sleep time comes. He himself sleeps ón the sofa. He will reach out his hand for mine and I would sleep feeling re-assured what with his hand firmly in mine. It has been 2 nights dah and I hope he won't break his back (and his hand locked in extended position) ! Ha ha.....

But the best thing is he didn't leave me alone. You know... buat hal sendiri but stayed next to me throughout.

And ... he he... the other best thing is he is buying me a breadmaker !! Yahoo !! Something that I have been salivating about for years and he is gonna get me one soon !!

Err... admittedly he announced that he is getting me a food processor and my son screwed his face and said, "No... Mummy wants a breadmaker...." He he.... Tak kisahlah... At least, I am getting what I want ! Here to no more breaking my back to make bread. Here to no more looking desperately for no-knead bread recipes. Here to waking up to the aroma of fresly baked bread.

Thanks babe.

I really, really am gonna love it.

So go and get it pronto.

He he...

Accidental weekend...

Monday morning and I am blogging..

Something yang menghairankan sejak-menjak aku tukar majikan ni...

Never mind... Let me write my usual posting... My weekend..

Err... before that sorry... I was too busy to write about my last weekend. And at this monent I can't recount what I did so let bygones be bygones...

Oh... selamt menyambut ramadhan... Will write more on that later ... Believe me... I will write.. ahak ...

Anyway, Saturday after classes dok rumah tungguh Kamil balik. Let him rest awhile before we start our journey to Tampin to visit my new brother-in-law's family. His dad passed away first of Ramadhan and we still haven't paid our respects yet... Well visit his mom more than anything else. Bibik was sent to visit her daughter first.

Mom followed us and we spent 2 hours talking to his family. My BIL has a very nice family. All his aunts and uncles from Sarawak (his mom's side) were still there. They have been camping there the minute his father was taken ill. Such family loyalty. I am glad my sister is in that family as you can see the love they have for each other, tak kisahlah ipar ke or adik beradik sendiri.

Kamil pecut on the way home and Mom sempat buat roti jala as requested by Adik in 1 hour, eaten with kari ayam semalam. My brother bought this amazing murtabak from sek17 and we had a lovely buka. No nasi... which was good because tummy wasn't heavy.

Balik for Maghrib first then we went to Tesco Extra for Ragu ingredients. Anak-anak dah tak larat makan nasi. As soon as we got home, I put water to boil for the pasta and started the Ragu.

Abang wanted to help, and as the norm my refusal was already at the tip of my tongue before I caught myself. Why not ? I thought. He will be 10 soon and he is responsible enough. I mean he had been helping with my bakings anyway, so... this is just the next step kan ?

Plus... he heh... in the car to Tampin Adik was whining about wanting roti jala kan.. After Tok promising to make some for her, Tok said, "Nanti Tok ajar Adik masak roti jala dengan kari, okay ? Kalau suka kita kena masak sendiri. Tok masa kecik2 dulu kalau suka apa2 Tok belajar terus sampai sedap..." Ooohh... patut le my Mom is an excellent cook.

So remembering what she said in the car, I agreed to let my kiddies helped. Abang started the stove and Adik poured in the Olive Oil. I let Abang added all the ingredients and sauteed them. Even the beef. He was a quick learner and very enthusiastic about it. Cuma he has to learnt to control his movements as the food flew out of the pan ! But it was a satisfying experience as I taught them about the herbs and what they were for... hehhe... dah alang-alang ada herb garden kat rumah kan...

After the sauce was cooked Abang kata he wanted to taste the end result tapi punyalah lama dekat stove, the wooden spoon made numerous trips between the pan and his mouth Kamil jerit, "Rasa ke makan ?" He he...

Anyway... that was for soq so after I made sure everything was covered from the elements, tidur.

Baru nak lelap tiba-tiba Kamil dah gerak for soq. While he woke the kids up I went down the stairs. Tengah syok-syok turun tangga, tiba-tiba I could feel the ground no more and my butt was firmly on the landing. Both of my feet bent to the right, coupled with this excruciating, excruciating pain. I exxagerate not, okay ?

Screamed for Kamil who took his sweet time to come and get me, I must say. He righted me up and I hobbled downstairs. I had to sit down because pressure on the left foot was painful. Kamil re-heated the pasta while the kids set the table. I sat on the dining chair trying to ignore the pulsing pain. Pulsing okay.. pulsing. Kamil rubbed some Counterpain and it helped somewhat.

I was helped upstairs by my kids and tried to get some shut-eye. I did managed some. Woke up with my foot still not good. Bathed and hobbled downstairs.

Sapu more ubat and prayed for it to go away but it didn't. By 11 am Kamil packed us all up to the hospital. Doctor suruh x-ray, but I was a bit reluctant sebab I had always felt that private hospitals like to order unnecessary test to get revenue.

Doctor insisted and so I must. Kang pandai2 lak jadi lain pulak. Anyway, when an attendant wnated to wheel me away, Adik looked at me in earnest and entreated me to, "Calm down, Mummy.. Calm down..." menyampahnya aku dengan budak ni. Doctor pun gelak.

Abang tanya where they were taking me and Kamil as usual buat lawak bangang and said to be cut. That set my daughter off again. She quickly planted herself in front of me and said, "Bye-bye kaki... I am going to miss you...." with such sadness. Merepeklah dia ni.

Anyway luckily doctor insisted for the x-ray because with the naked eyes, they wouldn't be able to see that ropa-ropanya I have torn my ligament !

What ? I was a bit confused because I sure hell was not familiar with ligaments and although have heard of it, just accepted it as something footballers got. Whatever it is, I got it now and it is serious... Quite serious..

An orthopaedic doctor ( I dunno if there is such thing as orthopaedician...ha ha)was summoned to confirm it and he did just that. What lah..... I didn't need a cast, Alhamdullilah to that, but I was bandaged very tightly. It was uncomfortable. And... I was to come again the next day for a spot of physiotheraphy.

And so it began my era of hopping on one foot. It was very inconvenient I tell you because well... I can't go anywhere. I have to rest the feet as walking would slow the healing process. I got 1 week MC and in my daze heard doc said I will only heal completely in 6 weeks time.

What ? Oh.. I was to get me crutches the next day during theraphy.

Whaatt ?

Apa ni ? I only bangun to get soq ready for my family... How on earth did we get here ?

Anyway malam Kamil went to pick up Bibik and he was devious that one. He didn't tell Bibik of what had happened while she was away and so when she saw me, she was shocked and horrified . "Ya Allah kenapa ini ?"

"Itulah Bik, orang degil jatuh tangga....." Said Kamil with face so superior. Aku tak tau awat.

Bibik geleng kepala and said, "Ada aja dalam rumah ini...."

Yelah....

Errm... tapi kan aku tak paham, apa kena mengena dengan aku degil and jatuh tangga ? What ? What ? What ?

Weekend posting

So.... weekend..... was tiring.

Friday night Kamil and I thought of catching a movie so after leaving the kids with their ustaz, we headed for The Curve. Oh before that had lovely, lovely keawtiaw goreng at Ban-j. Lovely. Tak yah dah pegi Tony's. Keawtiaw goreng Tony pun dah lari rasa. Not really nice anymore.

We changed our minds halfway to The Curve though because NKVE was super jammed up. We masuk Subang and tried Sunway Pyramid instead. Well... kat Sunway jammed kat dalam pulak. Susahnya cari parking. Pi wayang and kat situ pun jam jugak so Kamil and I went to Marks and Spencer instead.

Kamil kata kat paper tulis ada sales. Tak dak pun. I fell in love with a nice baju but Kamil advised that I check out the store the next day sebab he is sure ada sales. He though bought t-shirts.

Hampeh.

Went straight home afterwards. Boring kan dah tua-tua ni ? Yelah tak pernah lah pulak lagi kita orang mencelah masuk disco but surely there is something that we could do apart from returning home to watch Smallville on dvd ?

Saturday aku pulun practise piano. Dah nak masuk buku baru dah and I am a bit segan lah with my teacher. Dah tua-tua pun tangan masih keras lagi. Mana nya training aku main organ masa kecik-kecik dulu. He he....

Tengahari pergi tahlil rumah PIL and then balik.

Petang... hmmm.... what did we do petang ? Entah.... Oh yeah... The kids had dinner with their cousins so after sending them back home, mandi and solat, we left the kids to their own devices again and tried to tengok wayang... again.

Kamil singgah to get the local daily but semuanya start pukul 10 mlm. Tak jadi lagi. We went around Taipan to look for food and shared a plate of Fisherman's platter at Strawberry Fields. We had a good talk, my husband and I. We needed that. Although it was a bit frustrating because he couldn't get me, couldn't undertsand where I was coming from, but then at least I said my piece. Now the trick is not to bring up the subject again to drill in the message. Women has the tendency to do just that, I must admit. Bukannya apa... kadang-kadang men give the impression that they don't undertstand our points and most of the times the glazed look they give you sort of indicated that they weren't even listening.

But bila kita ulang cakap depa start marah pulak.

Must not bring the subject up again... is like a zikir to me now.

Sunday was busy with kenduri until about 2pm. Then Amelia came for a visit at 3.30. While our children played, we were in deep conversation. Maklumlah dah 3 minggu tak berjumpa and she is leaving again for another 3 weeks.

Nampak gayanya I have to cheat on you lah Melia and pi mengadu kat orang lain while you are away or I could go crazy !!!! He he...

Malam aku ajak pi makan Tram Car sebab teringin sangat makan meehoon hailam. Nasib baik dapat pujuk Adik follow menu aku pulak sebab kalau ikut dia, aku kena makan Keawtiaw Cantonese lagi....

Balik and sebelum tidur, I write this.

Hmmm.......

Adik puasa okay ?

Macam-macam nak cerita...

Right now I am on Adik's bed, saja lepak dengan anak-anak waiting for them to sleep. Adik has been sneezing interrupting her attempts to sleep. Abang is sitting on the bed reading his second Percy Jackson book, intermittently updating me of what was happening to Percy and friends.

Alhamdullilah... I really want my kids to be bookworms. Nothing can open their minds and build their vocabulary like reading.

Tadi in the car their father dah start pesan, Ramadhan is near.. The kids dah besar so dah memang paham sendiri. "Adik kena puasa okay tahun ni ?" Abang pujuk in his usual style, soft pitch with rapidly blinking eyes plus the kindest face he could muster.

"Tapi nanti my tummy lapar... start grumbling....."

"Adik........" said Abang with a very drama swasta lilt, "kita puasa supaya kita ingat orang yang susah, yang takde makan.....Okay ? So that nanti kita kesian...." He he.... Boleh lah Abang.....

Adik sighed. "Tapi E tak puasa pun....Ä pun....." I expected that from Adik.

Abang sighed."Ädik... A is a baby ... she is still small" I expected that too. "And E is not well-mannered... so there is no point talking to her...." That... I didn't expect. Hehehheheheh.....

"Okay.. then we have to do something to make her puasa....." Suggested Adik. Aku tahu tu, dia tak nak dengki tengok orang makan so everybody had better puasa....

"And I think I got an idea....."She added.

"What ?"

"Well.... something.... I thought of..."

"Tell me lah... Let me hear it...."

"Okay.... why don't we put all the food in a box....."

"In a box ? That doesn't sound like a good idea...." Abang interjected. Then,"never mind... go on... please continue...." Hehhehehehe.... merepeklah dia orang ni.....

"Okay... we put all the food in a box and..... hide it ! That way, she has to puasa and I will be happy !"

I could feel Abang's sceptical face. I knew he wore that look right at that very moment and my prediction was right because I heard him reply, "That is not a very good idea... She can find it.... And eat it.... And you know she will cry and make a fuss if she does not get her way..... We'd better find a better plan...." He said.

Then, tone softer he said, "But... you must puasa first, okay ?"

He he.... It was not a very interesting conversation. They didn't invent the wheel but I just want to record it, to take note the words and phrases they use at their respective ages.

I just want to remember the issues they have... and it is not as unimportant as I thought it would be !

2 days that breezed by...

I have no mood to write today.

But a person took the liberty to inform me that he lives by my blog, so I got no choice but to write as I was afraid he might decide stop breathing if I don’t.

Ha ha…

So, arrived very, very late from Pasir Gudang because we left very, very late.

I was so tired, I forego dinner.

It was pure bliss to sleep with my kiddies again and since Adik slept next to the wall, I hugged Abang throughout the night.

Saturday I made heavy minestrone soup. Then went out to order a playhouse for the kids. Aku yang excited lebih sebab dok terbayang nak menganyam ketupat, bukak puasa in the pondok. I had wanted them to paint it in pale pink… the palest, iciest pink they could find but I had to provide a sample. Tengoklah kalau rajin pi balik to tunjuk contoh colour.

Had dinner with my sisters and that was it. Bosan yek ? Maybe I was too tired to do anything. When CT came to show me the bunga dulang she made for our cousin’s engagement she remarked on how tired my face looked.

I thought I could only feel it in my body but rupa-rupanya kat muka pun dah tunjuk.
Sian aku….

Sunday we made up the number to chop a fiancee for my cousin. It was nice as all my mom’s siblings came and the cousins too. I love being with family.

I got teary eyed a bit when I escorted my aunt to sarungkan cincin on the dainty finger of her future daughter. That girl is truly lucky because she would get the best mother in-law in the world. Yang sporting, yang suka melawak and yang paling penting takde protocol. Asal ko bahagia is her motto.

Dunno if my future cousin would appreciate it if I post her pictures here.. so better not. Manalah tau she might not appreciate it.

Balik and rested and for dinner we went to Subway for sarnies. It was a very cold and wet affair because malaun mana ntah yang keluarkan payung from my car.

Tucked the kids in and then I started my report. Nasib baik I decided to do it yesterday as hari ni kena puji …

He he… suka !

God, I have no real life do I ? What a horribly mundane weekend !

Melaluts galore..

Adik….

Last Friday she called me right after school. “Mummy…. XYZ tak nak kawan saya……”
Hmm…. masalah budak darjah satu.

“Itulah…. You selalu kan tak nak kawan dia…. So sekarang it’s your turn, pulak…. “

“But…. Masa saya tak nak kawan dia, I have a reason. But today, I didn’t do anything !!!! Saya sampai sekolah, saya said hai and she said she tak nak kawan saya… I didn’t do anything !!”

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH… Yelah tu.

“So sekarang, saya nak Mummy… When are you coming home ? I want you, Mummy !!”

How could she made me laugh and cry within half a minute ?

Only she and her brother could do that to me.

Today… well is not a good day. Since yesterday actually I was in turmoil. I was feeling a myriad of emotions too but hurt was the starring actor.. Hence it has a been a simply tiring weekend.

Baru sat-sat tadi, I sat on the sofa in my bedroom, looking outside the window. I was dejected and upset and whatever lah… My angel came to me, face deep with worry. “Are you okay, my dear ?”

Now she made me touched with her concern and bubbling with laughter at the same time. Merepek sungguhlah dia ni.

“Err… hehe… ermm… I am a bit sad….”

“Why are you sad ?”

“Ermm… well about stuffs….”

“Stuffs ? What stuffs ?”

“Stuffs..” I shrugged.

“What ? What is it ? What do you want ?”

I looked at her questioningly. How very astute this little one. You are right lah sayang… what do I want exactly ?

Hmmmmmmmmmm…. (Btw... while I was pondering this question she rubbed my arms and looked sad too... Sian anak mak...... )

I want to be heard. I want my feelings to be respected. To be acknowledged that if I was wronged, I have the right to be angry.

Sometimes I wonder why society loves to condemn how a victim reacted. A blogger friend of mine was criticized for announcing her decision to seek divorce from her husband via her blog. It was a mutual decision only she decided to announce it via the world wide web. She, whether you like it or not is the victim because her husband chose to love another. She was being very, very nice about it too… Wishing her husband happiness but what people chose to comment is her decision to make an entry about it. Memalukan it was said.

But… people didn’t say anything about why she was doing it. Why she had to do it. Her husband cheated on her. Orang tak condemn yang itu. Orang condemn her mode of announcing her impending separation.

She is sad. She is the victim. However she chose to do it, lantak dia lah. She is the one hurting. Unless she capai pistol and tembak laki dia barulah kita cakap kot…

But to me let her be… Even if you have been in her shoes but did no such thing as she did, you still have no right to condemn because… you are not her. All our actions are governed by our personalities and we can’t really categorise everything plainly in wrong or right columns. There are loads of gray areas here.

Just like what I am facing now. Nobody has the right to tell me I am not allowed to feel the way I do now. Jangan mendabik dada and cakap kalau aku jadi kau, aku takkan buat macam tu. Podah ! You are not me.

This is my life and I am the main actor in it. I decide what to do and how to feel. You can guide me and try to pujuk me but to tell me you have more right to feel and I don’t is soooo bloody arrogant.

To force me to do things I don't want is also an infringement of my rights to feel.

That is why I wonder why society likes to judge how a victim reacts. Leave us be.
Dah… buat dah… Tukaq topic dah….

The things that caught my eyes during the week

I was lunching at KFC.

Meja depan sebelah kiri sat a set of parents with their daughter. I don’t know why the daughter caught my eyes so much. I was really drawn to her. Funny though somehow looking at her brought me a lot of comfort.

I kept looking at her. Dah lama-lama, she started to look familiar. Her eyes, her nose… her skin colour. I felt the hair was a bit wrong though. It should be straight and jet black and has to be just below her ears. Funny.. as I had never seen her before, I shouldn’t remember her with different hair kan ?

Then she chewed again and I caught my breath. She looked exactly like my BFF Amelia. Exactly. Only the hair is wrong. Hers is long and wavy but Amelia’s had always worn her short.I had always thought Amelia had the blackest colour of hair ever.
He he…

No wonder looking at her brought me so much comfort. I miss Amelia… Sigh…….

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I was still at that KFC.

A couple sat meja depan belah kanan. The guy was facing me and the girl was facing him.

Aku macam perasan dia dok pandang aku. Because of my new work, aku dah biasa orang pandang. Bila kita pegi site and orang tahu sapa kita, people would always look. In fact at times when me and my team lalu, people would give us a wide berth.

Sad… but true.

Anyway, at times when our eyes met (the man and I), the lady in front of him would turn to look at me.

Aku dah rasa tak best. But I just couldn’t put my finger into what really made me uncomfortable.

Then they got up to leave.

“Apasal pandang laki saya ?” She asked as she passed by.

Hello ?

And I leave everything to your imagination sebab seriously aku tak mau ingat. Aku cerita kat Kamil pun lebih kurang aje sebab aku sangaaaaaattt sedih.

I thought it was going to be a horrible weekend but…

….it was not because Friday at 4pm, we left Pasir Gudang for home.

I was ecstatic and called Kamil to inform him of my impending homecoming. He was happy and I was happy but my happiness was marred a bit when he said, “Okaylah… you cakap betul-betullah bila you sampai….” proceeded by what appeared to me a hasty goodbye.

Hmm…. It could be because

• his boss was breathing down his neck.
• a customer was waiting for him
• he needed the loo
• or…… well… this one I malas nak cerita because the possibility of it cukup untuk membuatkan aku sasau.

So I decided to believe bullet 1 and be done with it. The most important thing is the QUEEN is coming home.

We arrived in good ol’ Klang Valley about 9 pm. N sent me to Kamil’s office first where he was waiting….in the dark…with the pak guards only. I was so giddy with happiness seeing his face and to hug his body was pure bliss.

Had dinner and when we got home the kids were already sound asleep in our bed. Never mind, had no choice but to snuggle then. It was a restless night because the kids sensed me in their sleep and in the middle of the night moved closer to me. Adik who initially slept at the foot of the bed somehow find a space beside her Momma.

I waved Kamil goodbye on Saturday morning with a heavy heart. He promised he would come home early and I warned him early on a Saturday would mean him arriving back home in 2 hours time. Just for the record, he arrived home at 1.30pm while we were lunching on Italian meatloaf and pasta.

I opted to remain home because I had been away and will be away again in 2 day’s time. I was missing my home a bit, I suppose. Now is rojak buah season for Kamil so again we visited Uptown for dinner.

Shared a tub of ice-cream when we reached home. I have to say it was a very unfair sharing as I had 20% only.

Sunday morning had breakfast with my family. Went straight from there to look at some lovely, lovely stuffs in Sungai Buloh before looking at new houses in Alam Budiman. My sister bought one. The very last unit on sale. She was lucky as the house was gorgeous. We went to look at the showhouse, visited the Sale Office and there was only 1 left ! Only 1 !

We of course left her to explain the whole thing to her husband who is overseas. Luckily he was okay with it. Sigh… I do envy her. It is not just the house is nice, but the view she gets was definitely enviable. The rolling hills and deep green forests and since we arrived quite early in the morning, we could see mists covering some of the trees. It was majestic. Then it rained and made the scenery more romantic and the weather cooler. Kamil was on rajin mode and consented to all of my sister's wishes. We went to visit a few units and then visited the unit she booked and a few more rounds of it.

I will be visiting often.

Took my mom to visit the upholsterer who was just nearby. We were discussing swatches and colours when a type of design called peri-peri was mentioned. No need to guess where we stopped for lunch next. NANDO’S !!! Hahahahahhaha…

Balik and I started doing my work. Sigh….. I don’t have to but I just wanted to show
my Team Leader what we have unearthed and if we are on the right track.

After dinner I packed again. For 5 more days again with an aching heart.
Adik got whiny before bedtime because she knows I was going and Abang sebek as I kissed him good night.

Kamil hugged me tight the whole night.

You know… I am not suppose to say this, but I have to because I don’t want to forget what he said.

As he hugged me that night, he said “It is not about the sex… It is about you. I miss having you around….”

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…………………………………………………

Cili boh atas motor

I was talking to my mum this morning, listening to her waxing lyrical about the good ol’ days when cili boh (yeah… you read it right… I did write cili boh) was smooth and contained only and nothing but cili kering.

Her topic reminded me of a time when we were younger, mum bought her cili boh at Pasar Kelang, depan Pasar Jawa tu. She was very fussy bout it too as it had to come from this one shop. I haven't been to Pasar Jawa in a loooooooooooooooooooooooonggggg time but if I try to remember that place,I remember small stalls and loads of bananas. Don't know why.

Anyway one day after spending a wasted morning (my opinion, not hers… she was ecstatic) trawling about Pasar Jawa, we waited for my dad to fetch us in his car.

And I tell you it was a wasted and boring morning for us kids and we had all the pent up energy from dutiful following her around therefore at the end of the trip while waiting for Bapak, we of course goofed around. Lari-lari, main tolak-tolak till at one point my brother pushed me so hard, I reeled back from the force of it and accidently pushed the huge bag of cili boh from its perch. The bag rolled down with a huge splat on a mototcycle that happened to be parked next to it.

We stopped our mucking about and looked at the chillies covered motorcycle in aghast. Maybe if you looked at us then, crowding one side of the now heated bike, you would see all our mouths in a round O. Chillies were everywhere ! Some splashed on the rearview mirror. Scarlet liquid were trickling from the handlebars to the floor. Red goo stuck to rim of the tyres. It was awful. It was devastating. It was bad.

Anyway, typical of me I ajak my siblings and my mom lari. Because aku takut the owner of the motor mengamuk sakan bila nengok motor dia tetiba tukar kaler. And sure dia tambah ngamuk when 70% of the chillies were pooling on the seat.

HEHHEHEHE…. Gelak lak pulak aku.

I remember my mom pulak yang mengamuk. She pointed out how on earth the poor unsuspecting owner could ride the bike home now ?

Seriously, I didn’t want to care. Or I just can’t fathom that we were at the position to do something to rectify the situation. I was more concerned because although my brother pushed me, ultimately I have to answer for it since it was body what hurled the chillies to the motor. So I know I have to answer for it and I know it won’t be pretty. So … I need to get my arse away from the scene of destruction.

Then my mom did something .. well… like I said earlier, something that I didn’t think about. She went to try and undo my mistake. She cleaned it up. Or tried too.. as it was a monstrous task.

In my head right now, I can see her emptying the plastic bags of our purchases and wrap one on one of her hand and the other she used to collect the cili boh. She did it slowly, first attacking the ones on the seat. That one she did with extra care.

I can see her bending and wiped the the body of the motorbike. I see her inspecting her work and tidying up some more. I just watched her the whole time she did it. When my sibling got tired of watching, the chillies covered motorbike was already old news to them, and started playing again, I remained there watching her.

I was young but I know how to be thankful. I remember looking at her doing what I was supposed to do with so much guilt. I did offer to help but she wouldn’t let me because she was afraid I couldn’t handle the heat from them later on.

She still cared about me even though I made the mess. As soon as she finished, my dad arrived to take us home. Typical, macam polis yang baru nak sampai after the hero penat-penat lawan orang jahat and berlambak-lambak orang mati.

Moms are wonderful kan ?

I wrote this last weekend but I could only post it today.....

Tomorrow I will be outstation. For 2 weeks. Yup you heard me right. 2 weeks. And I will be busy so I’d better write about my weekend now. While I am still living the weekend.

Hokey. Friday had dinner at Secret Recipe. Kamil loathes Secret Recipe so when he came home announcing he was full from the durian fest at his office, I dragged his now tempoyak filled stomach to Secret Recipe.

Saturday after the usual flurry of classes, cooked Keautiaw Cantonese for lunch which the kids polished off before Kamil got home. Luckily we were going to the movies so Kamil said he could fill his tummy with popcorn then.

Baked butter cake with lemon icing first before jumping into the car to send the cakes then to Cineleisure for ECLIPSE !!!

WAAAA !!!

We were really pressed for time, I didn’t even had the time to change my clothes. I went to see JACOB wearing butter and flour stained shirt and greasy hair.

Jacob was so hot, I was sweltering in the usual cold movie theatre. Did I say he was hot ? Hot ! Those abs. Him wearing shirts should be made a crime. A law forbidding him to cover up those 6 packs should be passed. And that dimpled chin. I mean…it’s perfection.

What was the movie about again ?

We went around the shopping complexes for a bit. Looking at stuffs here and there, trying to source for a decent place to have dinner.

We walked by Vivo many, many times but never stopped to look at the menu. That Saturday we did and since we really had no idea what else to eat, deicided to try their food. And it was delicious. The kids had pizza… no surprises there. Kamil and I shared a plate of spaghetti pomodoro and fabulous seafood platter. Kenyang okay.

Oh, bumped into Zatul and her family who just ordered. They were watching Eclipse too… Same time and theatre as us.

Zatul and I talked about Jacob for awhile which was nice. We are a big fan of Jacob, us. Therefore I love Zatul. Ha ha…

Sunday we didn’t do anything much as I had to send a report to my boss. Lunch masak nasi. It has been awhile since I cooked rice. Fried ikan bawal till crispy. Not so fluffy plain omelette and beefballs soup. Made it a bit spicy so that I won’t go all quesy. That is why I don’t really go for Chinese food. Lauks had to be spicy. Kalau tak rasa macam mual. Paling teruk pun kena ada cut chillies.

Baked chocolate cake after that while Kamil tended the garden. He planted new, more hardy plants. No more flowers for us as we would lose them to the ants.

I started packing for my long trip. Ironed my shirts and trousers. Collected all the toiletries and lined them up so I can see them tomorrow.

What else ? I was too full for dinner so Kamil took us to Uptown for me to graze on rojak buah. But when he ordered naan and tandori, I helpfully specified wings to the waiter as if it was my food. Kamil thoughtfully left my favourite part of the wings for me but tak sampai hati nak makan. Sian dia.

Balik kissed the kids soundly before watching a bit of telly. Then sleep. Woke up to Kamil snuggling closely from behind.

He he…. You will miss me, babe ?